101 Ways to Get Stuffed

Number 1, Make a List

Dear Diary,

As you know I broke up with Carlos… what I don’t know is what to do now. Svetlana and I were on set together this morning and I told her about it. She was pretty shocked. She said it was the sweetest most non toxic break-up ever but what was I going to do now… because ‘Darling! There is so much adventure to be had!’. Then I just gave her this really blank look, she patted me on the head and went to do her scene where she was ‘stuck’ under a coffee table and the house mate took the opportunity to screw her rather than help. Weird. (I mean the porn script, not Svetlana - she calls everyone darling and is very touchy feely.)

Anyway… the scene is done, it’s time for me to go home so I’m packing up my equipment and Svetlana comes over to me and we have a bizarre conversation.

- - -

“Nell, darling, I have been thinking - it is odd, no? You come here to work, watching all this f*****g and you are so uninspired!!” She, entirely naked as usual (everyone had stopped offering her a robe; there was no point), took both my hands. “Tonight I am going to a club, come with me, meet some people, maybe meet some people!” She grinned and squeezed my hands. “I will put you on the list, the drinks are on me, all you have to do is show up, hum?”

“Svetlana… I dunno, clubs really aren’t my thing. I’m a quiet ‘night in’ kind of girl.” I shrugged feeling awkward.

“Nell, tut, tut, tut, Nelly Nelly Nell - when was the last time you went to a club? And darling you have NEVER been to a club with me!” Her smile was dazzling, her voice rich and seductive. “Hush, I’ll hear no more of it, tonight you come out with me, yes! If you hate it we never speak of it again, you can go back to watching Oprah and crying into your wine.”

“It’s, errr, the shopping channel…” I admitted with a blush.

“Darling, that is no way to spend your youth.” She narrowed her eyes and shot a look around the room. “Jayla! JAYLAAA!”

“Yo, Lana, what up?” Jay yelled back.

“Nell is coming out with us tonight, she needs a dress.” Svetlana squealed while I looked on open mouthed. Then she turned to me, “Black? Not too revealing?” I nodded, relieved for 10 seconds until she spoke again. (The way it was going I thought she would have me going to the club in a leather mini skirt and n****e tassels or with just a few strips of material covering my bits like Leeloo in the 5th element). “Oh! Oh I know, the one with sequins - she will look like a fleshlight with sass and legs!”

“YESS!” Jayla screeched back.

“Oh God no… I couldn’t possibly!” Finally I found my voice. A fleshlight? - gag. I mean yuck, that is so, so, backwards I can’t even find the words.

“Darling, you can, you will. I promise it will be fun but…” Svetlana lowered her head a little and gave me a sexy look that almost had me blushing, “If you don’t have fun - I will buy you some.” She winked and walked off, perfect, plump behind wiggling as she did. (and naked, don’t forget that).

- - -

I’m in the dress. I’m at the club door. The doorman is looking down the list. I’m so nervous and practically praying my name isn’t there and I can just turn around and go home.

“Ahh, here we are Miss Glassine. Welcome to the Club Bon Bon. Here is your VIP pass.” He put a metal bracelet around my wrist, it had a QR code on it. “The rest of your party is in the Strawberry Sweet booth. There will be someone at the next set of doors to show you the way, if you need anything just ask, and Miss Glassine?”

“Yes?” I looked at him with a little shock. Svetlana was nice but I had kinda thought she might just be joking with me but I was on the list… he was letting me in!

“Have an amazing night.” He smiled, warm and polite, unclipping the red rope for me to pass.

Club Bon Bon was everything and more. Loud but not too loud, opulent but not gaudy, professional but personal and expensive… very expensive.

“Nell!!” Svetlana shouted from across the VIP private booth. “Stop looking at the price list and just order what you want! Darling, you are making me look cheap!” She giggled, perched on the lap of an extremely well built, handsome but stoic looking man.

Everyone in the booth was looking at me and the blush was rising. Gawd, how embarrassing! All these people from work or the industry looking at me. How silly of me to be embarrassed - after all I was the only one at the table that hadn’t been viewed by all present with their clothes off. Ok, right I really need a drink because that came across super judgy from someone who does make-up for pornstars.

“She will have a strawberry daiquiri.” The guy next to me yelled to the waitress. Eric. I think that was his name.

“Thanks, but I don’t need a man to order for me.” I told him scathingly, however when I turned back the waitress was gone.

“No one said you needed a man to order you a drink, but someone had to. Might as well be me.” He smiled in a way that made me both unreasonably mad and aroused. Damn, come on, it hasn’t been that long.

“Fine - but next time I’m ordering your drink for you.” I snipped.

“Sure,” Eric’s smile got bigger and filled with award winning charm, “which side of the camera you work on?”

“I do make-up.” I shuffled away but he closed the gap between us some more.

“Ahh, I see, hence this work of art.” He stroked my cheek, but he might as well have stroked me between the legs because I was suddenly having a panty soaked moment from this unwanted, outrageous flirtation by a hunk of ‘gods gift to women’ dirtbag.

I turned to Svetlana, initially for help but she only gave me an encouraging nod and raised her hand pretending to grab something in the air. Oh, gawd, balls she was pretending to grab balls. I took a deep breath and gave him a once over. Well, he was hot, sculpted, drool worthy, front of a magazine kinda hot and he smelled nice.

“What side of the camera do you, er, work on?” I fired his question back with a lot less confidence than I was trying for.

“Hum,” He teased my palm with a finger, drawing tingley lines, “I’d love to show you which side I work on…” His finger worked its way up my arm.

“Oh, my drink.” I pulled away, abruptly and heard him huff with annoyance, when the waitress placed down the juicy red drink.

Grab life by the balls Nell I told myself gripping the stem of the glass.

Eric went to move away, obviously thinking I was some frigid b***h but this was my life, my adventure. Why did I even want to say no? He was hot, I was single and right now I was horny as f**k. The only reason to say no was if I wanted to say no, not society or embarrassment. In my head I flipped the whole scenario, how would I feel if I had come on to him first.

In control and down for some d**k. That’s how I’d feel.

I slapped my free hand around his wrist and he looked at me, confused and intrigued. I downed my daiquiri, my fingers tight around his wrist; I swear I could feel my pulse in each digit.

“Dance with me.” I gulped and he gave me a sultry look. The attentive waitress came to clear my empty glass. “He will have a strawberry daiquiri, and so will I.” I told her. Eric flashed an amused smile. Svetlana whistled as I dragged my hunk onto the dance floor.

Now, Diary - I hear you and I’m sorry but also very, very not sorry because boy was it goooooood. I swear if I were some stud nailing chicks you would be cheering and patting me on the back, the word ‘slut’ would never be uttered, I’d be a champion, an idol, a God. So yeah, let's take that four letter word and bury it at the bottom of some canyon along with other ridiculous notions about women.

Anyway…

After lots of dancing, copious amounts of alcohol, a very non subtle check of ‘the goods’ and brazenly asking Svetlana for a condom I was pressed up against a wall. Where this wall was I wasn’t sure and good God I couldn’t care less.

Eric had a firm hand on my waist. His mouth, sweet and delicious like all the strawberry daiquiris we had been drinking, was on mine. The kiss was hot and giddy making me alive with a fever of need.

“Eric, Eric,” I mumbled against his lips, “f**k me.”

“That’s the plan.” He chuckled, nipping my lip, squeezing my side and grinding his crotch against me.

“No, here.” I pushed against him.

“Nell, you dirty b***h!” His movement became more, just more. His hands were everywhere and all I could do was stand up and breathe (well pant).

Eric sucked on my neck while his hand pushed up the hem of my dress before teasing between my legs.

“Oo, aww, yeah.” I moaned as he rubbed my clit. “More.” I demanded pushing my p***y against his hand.

“Egar minx.” He panted, pushing a thick finger inside me. “Juicy as f**k too.” He nibbled my ear thrusting his finger harder and deeper. My body was a hot mess, demanding and desperate as I ground on that finger. “You want another one, baby?”

“Ugh, don’t call me ‘baby’, but yeh.” I slurred in his ear.

“What do you want me to call you?” He hummed and I cried out as he put in more fingers. Damn, so f*****g good. The alcohol had everything spinning and swaying and uninhibited.

“Fleshlight.” I demanded. “Call me your little fleshlight and f**k me like I’m just here to milk your gigantic cock.” Eric froze, he looked at me with blazing, lust filled eyes in this luminous shade of warm brown.

“Well that’s not the reaction I normally get…” He trailed off. I suspected he was reasonably more sober than I was. The condom packet crinkled as I pulled it from between my dress and sweaty boob.

“I’m serious Eric, right now I’m just a hungry p***y with legs! Feed me.” I clawed his back through the expensive shirt he was wearing.

“Holy s**t, Nell.” The condom was opened and put on. If it were an Olympic sport Eric would be the winner, hands down! And Eric did take my hand down… down to feel the heat and size of his throbbing p***s as well as the fact that it was wrapped up nice and snug in its own coat. “You ready for this my ‘little fleshlight’?” He snickered, amused.

“Ummm - hmmm.” I licked my lips, feeling sexy but probably looking crazy. Eric, I kid you not, pinned me to the wall with my legs over his muscled arms and my lady parts all exposed. I was floating.

“Look down, watch.” He commanded. My eyes tried to focus on his d**k and not the floor (which seemed super far away). “I’m gonna put alllll of that inside you and ram you ‘till I c*m. I’m gonna use you like the s*x toy you are.”

I moaned low as he slowly dipped his massive d**k into me. I’m not even kidding, it was f*****g huge.

“You ok?” He asked quietly.

“Damn Eric, hung like a beast and sweet too. Haha, I thought you were an ass when you were trying to pick me up at the table!” Whoopsy, alcohol induced honesty.

“And I thought you were a judgy b***h, who thought they were too good to hook up with someone who makes porn but you are wild Nell.” Eric began to move, ploughing me like it was effortless. I grunted and squealed and moaned not thinking or caring about how I looked or sounded right now. Literally I was just enjoying the here and now.

“Eric, Eric,” I clamoured at the sudden strength of heat building low inside me, “I’m gonna c*m, f**k, fuck.”

“Nell,” He groaned, slamming into me hard and pressing his weight against me as he came inside me, hips juddering and adding extra friction, “let your p***y feed on my man-milk.” His husky, still riding an orgasm voice and the thought of how I’d demanded he use me in such a vulgar way had me tipping over the edge. My body shook, my p***y clenched and it felt like heat was spilling out between my legs.

“Eric?”

“Yeah, Nell?” He was still crushing me against the wall, his d**k lightly pulsing, his panting breaths hot on my chest.

“That was really, really, f*****g good but I think I have to throw up now…”

Lucky or unlucky, I wasn’t sure we were actually in the disabled toilet cubicle so embarrassing as it was at least I wasn’t throwing up on him, or in a cab or on the floor - you know like some basic trashy b***h. Strawberry daiquiri wasn’t too bad to throw up either, didn’t burn like hell fire and tasted ok the second time round… gross I know. Eric was a gent and held my hair and rubbed my back.

“We shouldn’t have done that.” I told Eric after swilling my mouth with copious amounts of water and taking a mint from the tin he held out to me. He looked hurt. “It was wrong…”

“Yeh right. Sure.” He reached for the door lock.

“Eric, stop.” My fingers caught the back of his shirt and I hiccuped. “Not that, this,” I waved at the room, “I feel guilty, what if someone needed the disabled stall…”

“You insisted, you practically dragged me in!” Eric laughed. “I was going to take you back to mine…” He said with a lighter tone.

“Wait!” Alarm rocketed through me and I looked desperately around the room.

“What?”

“Where are my panties?”

“Nell, I don’t know what you did with them but you weren’t wearing any when we came in here…” He grinned devilishly.

Svetlana was waiting outside the restroom with a massive smile on her face.

“Nell, darling, I’m getting a cab, you ready to go home or are you not done with Eric?” She winked. I was mortified for a split second but then I smiled back.

“You should probably go home Nell, maybe my place next time?” Eric picked an eyelash off my cheek.

“Sure.” I blushed.

“Yesss,” Svetlana purred, “and then maybe next time you won’t put your panties in my clutch!” She laughed and Eric laughed and then I thought f**k it - and laughed right along with them.

So, Diary, what do you think? Pretty wild eh? Totally not my proudest moment tbf, s*x in a toilet cubical, sorry, close to blind drunk, s*x in a toliet cubical followed by vomiting and finding my underwear in someone elses bag but… it was living and damn it Diary! I want more. I’m going to write a list, a s*x list. That’s right Diary things are going to get hot and smutty around here. I’ve got the internet, my imagination, a whole bunch of people in the porn industry who can give me ideas and you, my trusty Diary.

Together we are going on an adventure, a s****l one. A bucket list of f***s, off the charts at 101 ways to get stuffed and I’m crossing off number one… Getting it on in a club with a stranger ;)