101 Ways to Get Stuffed

Number 6, Getting Lush with a Crush

Dear Diary,

When I woke up Israel had left. Apparently he had somewhere else to be but I was cool ‘cos, while it had been intense, it was casual, right? Anyway… it’s not like he didn’t leave me his number on a note, one that said:

Call me when I don’t need a slipper, Princess.

Good gauwd, that man is filthy. I am totally going to look him up. Compared to his gob the porn vid of him and Eric getting it on was tame so I have feelings that there is some hardcore s**t out there with Israel as the star.

Talking of stars… mine enjoyed having a thumb in it. Later I’m gonna call Svetlana and see if she will come toy shopping with me. You know what I mean. I want to work on feeling comfortable there because I’ve gotten the sense that I’m really, really going to like anal.

I took a shower at Eric’s while he made a really late lunch. He also gave me some clothes, cos I had nothing. Just a shirt and pants. I was only driving home in it so who cares. Note to self, keep a spare set in the car. Things were… ok. Like I still feel a little awkward after my faux pas but I think we are cool AND I totally get the necessity of the safe words in a whooole different way now. I mean it’s not just a serious ‘stop’ but kinda cuts the personal out for a safe space to just f**k.

I’m a little sore but damn it was worth it. Just hoping my love tunnel isn’t feeling too precious tomorrow when it’s getting prodded at the clinic.

P.S Carlos has started packing. I totally thought the end of the month would come and he would still be sitting on the couch, playing video games and asking me if I wanted to order take out. If it wasn’t a one bed apartment then he would actually make an alright room mate. Maybe I’ll teach him a few of the tricks I’ve learned so his next girlfriend is well taken care of. Is a goodbye f**k on my list? Ok, it wasn’t but it is now.

* * *

Dear Diary,

So yesterday I went to the clinic and, like, I’m not saying I look forward to my next visit but it wasn’t horrific. Everyone was profesh and I got the IUD that I wanted as well as a full STD panel. They will text me the results.

After that I met Svetlana for lunch and she brought a girlfriend with her. Not a girl that's a friend. A girlfriend. At one point I was texting my cousin (they just got their grades) and I looked up and they were making out. Zero problem with some public affection, regardless of orientation, but they were down each others throats, in a restaurant and I’m pretty sure there was a hand up a skirt - right up. It was hot. Super hot and inappropriate for the public.

Then we went shopping, drum roll please… for s*x toys. I bought a whole bunch of stuff with Svetlana as my guide. Out of my purchases I’m most excited to try the butt plugs. Kinda tame but I’m still drooling over having Israel’s thumb in my dark eye. Got a box of assorted slippers too, I just can’t stop calling them that after Israel… Can’t stop thinking about Israel… Gauwd that man is fine and I’m excited to hook up. I wonder what we should do off my list. Maybe he should take my ‘assjinity’, after all his thumb was my first.

Anyway… off track lol. So bought condoms. I might have put up my anti- baby defenses but you still got to ward off those STD’s so yeh, got some d**k coats for those impromptu f***s I plan on having. Is that like a paradox or something?

I’m driving home and I see this guy. He looks suspiciously like this dude I had a crush on - Ewan. After swinging my car around at the next junction I drive back and pull up to the curb.

- - -

“Hey, Ewan!” I yelled across the parking lot. The man stopped, looked at me, and then made his way over to my car.

“Hey?” Damn, he had such a pretty smile. I wish I’d had a piece of him back in the day but I hadn’t been that confident. “Sorry, do I know you?” He asked leaning into my open passenger window.

“It’s Nell, from Palmer Senior High.” I smiled at the little flash of recognition in his eyes. “We had some classes together and I spilled soda on your shoes in the cafeteria that one time.” I wasn’t embarrassed, not in the slightest. Come on, this was just a warm up. In a sec I’m gonna ask him if he wants to f**k.

No ring… He might be in a relationship but that's his responsibility to tell me to go take my p***s fly trap elsewhere for its dinner if that's the case. I’m sweating, I’m nervous, my heart is thrumming crazy fast in my chest.

This is so exciting. I used to daydream about having a piece of Ewan.

“Yeh, I remember.” He nodded and looked me up and down like I was a piece of meat. I’d complain but I was doing exactly the same. “You want to grab a bite?” Humm, yeh, I wanted to bite his lip. Ewan had thick, juicy lips.

“Your car here?” I asked, looking at the row of vehicles he had been walking to before I called him over. I wondered if it would be big enough for what I had in mind.

“Yeh. Silver SUV.” He pointed over his shoulder.

“Want to drive somewhere and err,” I ran my fingers seductively over my steering wheel. My confidence was faltering. Breathe Nell. He’s hot, you always wanted a piece of him. Fetch. “make my motor run?”

“Shit.” Ewan lurched in surprise and hit his head on the door frame. “Oww.” He rubbed his head while giving me an incredulous look.

“You alright?” I bit back a laugh. Nell, on the hunt, shocking men everywhere she goes!

“Yeh, um, did I hear you right?” He peered at me like I was a unicorn.

“What did you think you heard?” Feeling strong, powerful, in control I smiled at Ewan. A slow sexy smile.

“I asked you to dinner and you jumped right to dessert?” Super cute how tactful he was being. Always seemed sweet in senior year, even when I’d spilled my soda. Instead of complaining about the sprite squelching around in his shoes he had bought me a replacement. Didn’t seem to care that it had been all my fault. I should have taken that as a sign but I didn’t think a guy like him would be into a girl like me.

“Yeh, that’s what I said.” I pulled a condom out of the centre console. Ewan’s eyes almost popped out his face.

“I dunno… I’m not really into the … um.” Ewan had gone pretty red. I liked it. But this was kinda starting to feel like rejection and that, I didn’t like so much.

“We could get dinner after, if you like?” I shrugged. “Just kinda hungry for something else right at this second…” And I was, desperately. Gauwd Diary I’ve gone from ‘alright if we must’ to starved ‘give me d**k, or I’ll cut ya!’.

Was I pressuring Ewan? I mean if I flipped it, would I be comfortable with a guy coming on to me like this? I wasn’t exactly comfortable when I had been in Ewan’s shoes. At the club I’d been put off by Eric’s cocky, god’s gift to p***y attitude. Maybe Ewan was feeling the same.

“Umm.” Ewan drummed on my car door, unsure. I decided to give him a break after all it was a list not a race and if I needed to get some that bad I was sure Eric, Israel or maybe Carlos would oblige. Failing that there was a bag of s*x toys in the trunk that would make zero complaints.

“Tell you what, how about I just give you my number?” I smiled sweetly and tried to hide the disappointment that was boiling behind my eyes.

“Ah, crap. I’m being a total idiot.” Ewan rolled his baby blues and pulled at his curly hair. “Here I am, faced with this golden opportunity - a beautiful woman, that I totally had a crush on as a teen propositioning me, and I’m acting like a monk.” He leant his chin on his palm and sighed. “Sorry, not long broke up with my fiance and she was very particular about the way I treated her if I wanted to get some. Not to mention my Mother was always…fuck. Sorry, that was, umm… look, I err, just came from therapy - I’m not in a great head space for this right now.”

After stuffing the condom in my pocket I turned off the engine, got out the car and gave Ewan a big hug.

“Dude, how about we get drive thru and go up to the lookout? We can catch up and just hang out.”

“That,” He blew out a big breath, “sounds great, I could really use a friend. Park up, we will take my car. Your suspension will thank me.”

With our paper drive thru bags we sat on a picnic bench overlooking the city. Since school Ewan’s life had been a pretty rough ride. His parents were loaded so he went to a good college to study for a fancy job where he would make six figures a year but while he was there Miss Popular, a bleach blond daddy’s girl that was used to the fine things in life, latched on to him. She was beautiful, popular, from good ‘stock’ (so his parents approved) and she acted like the ground he walked on was blessed. Little did he know it was only because her family was going broke and he was a nice guy with a fat wallet.

She manipulated him at every turn, nothing was good enough, everything he did was wrong. She was dramatic. Screamed, threw things, held his balls in a vice (metaphorically) because the diamond earrings weren’t expensive enough, the car didn’t have the top package with heated seats and he didn’t get it in a custom colour. Stuff like that. She sulked and pouted and made him grovel.

Every now and then, after she got everything she wanted, this woman would spread her legs and reward him with s*x. She just lay there like a corpse until he was done. That was until he stopped being intrested in s*x because it bombed so bad. Then the accusations started. Apparently he must be cheating, obviously didn’t love her enough - her solution… her way for him to prove himself? Marry her.

Big ring, fancy, expensive princess wedding. Whatever she wanted he booked it. Paid for it. A month before the wedding he walked in on her f*****g the best man in their soon to be marital bed. Pretty cliche eh?

Ewan dodged a bullet but still felt like he had been through the ringer and who could blame him? His Ex apparently. He was a useless f**k, premature, d**k was to small - you name it the b***h said it. Cut him down when he was already haemorrhaging.

“I can’t believe she did you dirty like that.” I held his hand across the picnic table.

“Well, I can’t believe I didn’t see it. I’m a total moron letting her play me like that.”

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Ewan, she’s a manipulator. She knew what she was doing. Abuse, through and through. At least you got out before she had you pinned down with a wedding certificate. No doubt in my mind that she would have divorced you and cleaned you out.” He squeezed my hand at my words.

“Yeh, true. Still, I mean it was s**t, but it was my life you know - I loved her. There was a plan and now all those years are just burned up; total waste.” Ewan closed his eyes and just breathed for a minute. When the regret and sadness were pushed into whatever corner of his head he was keeping them in he looked into my eyes.

“Ewan?” Bloody hell Nell, don’t ask. Too late, I didn’t have a back up question and this one was coming out. “If you had taken me up on my proposition would I have been the first person you slept with since your Ex?”

“Yeh.” He nodded.

“Well, we had dinner… offer ’s still on the table if you want it. No pressure, Ewan. I just want you to know you are desirable.” I tried not to shiver, it was getting late and a little cool out.

“It’s been over a year since I’ve done the deed, I’m gonna be shit.” His hand went loose in mine and there was bitterness in his words.

“Practice makes perfect and the practice is the fun part…” I couldn’t help the dirty smile that crept across my face. “Come on, we can pretend we’re a pair of horny teens. We can just make out.” I winked and got up from my seat. Damn my ass was numb.

“Making out sounds fun.” Ewan relented.

In the back of the car Ewan was nervous. There was a little shake in his hands and he kept clearing his throat. Normally I would be turned off. The clearing the throat thing is just a bit - eww, but after what he just told me I don’t blame him for shitting a brick. What he needed though was to get back in the saddle. The therapy is really good, he should totally stick with that too but sometimes you just gotta give it a go and see what you get.

I kissed him first. Showed him that I was into this. His lips were soft and unsure, the kisses that he returned were, well they weren’t horrible… they were just bland? I guess. No heat, just going through the motions and his hands were being kept firmly to himself.

“One sec.” I spoke into his mouth before twisting awkwardly in the car to reach the radio. “That’s better, don’t you think?” I leant into him as music filled the car.

Then I got on his lap. Feet against the door.

Then I took his hand and put it on my breast. Heat was pulsing but Ewan was cringing.

“You remember,” I spoke between kisses, “how I did a U-turn?” I ran my tongue across his lip. “I summoned you to my car not knowing anything except that you were a school crush and looking fine.” My hands traversed his chest over his shirt. “I don’t care about your money, your job, your connections, your house.” His breath quickened, I could feel him rising to the occasion. “You were always such a sweet guy.” My tongue danced with his and he moaned. It rumbled in his chest making me feel wet. The leather seats creaked as we shifted with the kisses.

“Nell?” Ewan called me. There was a flush in his cheeks and hesitancy in his voice. I wiggled in his lap, rubbing his erection with my blossoming flower.

“Yeh?” I whispered into his ear, before going back to kissing his neck.

“Did you, er, bring a um…” He was somewhere between embarrassed and distracted. It was kinda cute.

“Yeh. You wanna?” I practically growled, waving the condom.

“Please.” He begged.

“It’s been on open invitation this whole time… you don’t have to beg, Ewan.”

“Ok, then I’m RSVPing yes.” He chuckled, finally relaxing.

“You wanna do it here or go somewhere?” List be damned. Plus this was kinda cramped.

“Here’s good, I’ve never done it in a car before.”

“Me neither, little tick on the bucket list.” We chuckled together. I shimmied off my pants and the cute, lacy hipster panties I was wearing. Ewan gulped, his hand on my thigh. “Go on.” I smiled and spread my legs a little. Anticipation had my heart picking up it’s tempo. Slowly Ewan slipped his hand between my legs, fingers gently fondling the soft, heated, and very slick, flesh.

“Mmm.” He moaned, sliding a finger inside of me. “Oh, yeh, it’s so hot and wet.” His d**k was really hard under me now. The thought of climbing on that pole had me grinding on to his hand. A little excited, I forgot the tight space and hit my head. Shrugging it off I bowed my head putting it on Ewan’s shoulder.

“Oh, gauwd.” My gyrating found a sweet spot. “Oah, Ewan, mmmm.” I hummed.

“You like that, baby?” He crooned, finding some confidence, adding another finger and stroking my insides. I let the ‘baby’ thing go. Dude needed a break.

“Not as much as I'm gonna like your c**k stuffed inside me.” As I kissed him I gasped. Those fingers had rhythm. “Ah, Ewan, f**k. Are you ready for the main event?”

“God, yes. I want you so bad.” He nuzzled my cheek, hot breath cascading inside my blouse and down over my chest. My sweet love tunnel was desperate to suck on something more substantial.

“Then stop finger f*****g me and get your d**k out.” My words were playful and broken by hard breaths.

“Oh, yeh, right.” Ewan smiled and shook his head. Maneuvering in the small space (well, luckily there was a lot more space in here than my little car) I positioned myself so that I was straddling my crush. One of my knees was on the buckle for the seatbelt. Ouch. Ewan was unbuckling his belt in a fumble. I would have laughed if I didn’t think he would take it the wrong way. Belt finally undone, along with the button and zipper, he lifted his hips and shimmied down his jeans along with his boxers.

Dick free, Ewan suddenly flushed with embarrassment.

“You ok?” My hand stroked his cheek, as I wondered about his change in demeanor.

“Um, it’s just, well, I’ve only ever been with my Ex…” His eyes flicked down to his hot rod. “It’s…” Ewan swallowed nervously, “I mean, do, do you think it’s…” His eyes; they kept going from his crotch to my face. What on earth was he trying to ask me? Oh, oh, gawd… really? Was that a thing? Oh I’m being stupid, of course it’s a thing - I’ve heard of p***s envy before.

“Wow.”

“Is that a good wow, or a bad one?” He tried to sound like he didn’t care, a bit off hand, but the anxiety was shining through like a torch with the power of a thousand candles. I really shouldn’t have told him I work in the porn industry. Makes people self conscious. Sure I told him I’m crew not an actress but he knows that I’m still getting to look at a lot of d**k; top shelf d**k.

“Ewan, you worry to much.” I opened the condom and a stray thought crossed my brain as I fiddled around putting it on. Eric, the condom fitting champion, would of had this sorted by now… Thank goodness Ewan couldn’t read my thoughts. Got little blush emojis floating up through my brain. “This is a perfectly delicious looking d**k. In fact there is a whole section of web space reserved for this kind of d**k. Google ‘coke can c**k’.” I could practically see his ego getting refilled… right now it was time for me to get filled in my coke can slot haha. Not a thing, but my p***y is still screaming ‘gimme!’.

“Holy f*****g Jesus.” My fingers were digging into Ewan’s shoulders as I forced that thick meat right up in my hole. I was so full. Mmm, I was going to go fuller still when I got me some double pen. “You like my tight p***y sucking on your thick d**k Ewan?” He breathed heavily, hips fidgeting eagerly.

“I didn’t know you had such a dirty mouth Nell.” He blushed. Loooord this man was too cute. The squeaky leather turned up it’s game as I turned up mine.

“Not a dirty talker, eh?” I grinned and ground down harder on his c**k.

“Not really.” My cute crush gasped, enjoying my awkward thrusting.

“That’s ok, baby, just relax and I’ll make you feel good.” Mmm, I kinda liked that - calling him baby. Certainly wasn’t going to call him daddy… creepy. Ugh, it is on my list though, eww.

Squeak, squeak, squeak. So off putting.

“Yeeh, that’s good. Oh, oh, yeeeh.” Ewan gave me continuous praise about how awesome my gyrating was but at least he had relaxed. Eyes closed, leaning back in the seat he was just enjoying me pleasuring him. I was enjoying it too. His girthy p***s was giving me the good kind of stretch and the angle was just right. Ewan was in good shape but he wasn’t ripped. There was this tiny bit of belly podge (increased by how he was slumped in the car) and every time I moved it was rubbing my clit.

Glorious.

My breathing was heavy. I was betting we were fogging up the car titanic style. The fire was roaring in my nethers and the orgasm wasn’t too far away. Yes, yes, yes! I picked up the pace, lifting my hips a bit more and really feeling his thickness as I slammed down.

Ewan pitched forward with a gurgling sort of noise, followed by an explicative, followed by being very still.

“Sorry.” He whispered. Diary, I am telling you, that little broken whisper nearly, god damn, broke my heart.

“Ewan?” I took his face in my hands. “Was that good, baby? You c*m nice and hard?” I nuzzled the side of his face while whispering in his ear. He nodded. There was a swallowing noise. I think he was trying not to cry. “You wanna go back to your place for a night cap and round two… We could go back to mine but my Ex is there.”

“You’d go again? Even after I…” Came prematurely. I finished his sentence in my head.

“Ewan, really it wasn’t that quick and you are not the first guy to c*m before the woman. Anyway, practice makes perfect and I loooove practicing.” I climbed off him so he could grab the full condom before things started to get messy. “Drop me at my car and I can follow you to yours, or I can just go home. Take the drive there to think about it.” I fished in the foot well for my panties and pants.

Number 30, sort of just cramped s*x. If there hadn’t been so much squeaking and I hadn’t been having to think about not hitting my head or ignoring my knee being stabbed I might have made it up that hot and sweaty climax mountain.

Sooo, Diary, I was totally expecting Ewan to drop me in the parking lot and go home to sit in misery but he didn’t. We went back to his. He opened a bottle of wine. We had a few glasses and I brought my new bag of toys into his bedroom…

Oh yes, oh yes Diary Number 37, butt plugs.