Book 1 Chapter Eight
1058 Words
Walking home from the grocery store that same day was hard. The whole entire time I was walking, only one thing was going through my head.
How was I going to tell Tyson?
Sure after everything Tyson did to me, he didn't deserve to even have my presence with him, but this baby is his and he deserves to know. r**e or not.
I know telling my mom would be easier than telling Tyson. For one, my mom wants what's best for me and right now we don't have the money for a baby and second, she's my mom and she went through the same process as I am going through right now so she should understand on my behalf.
So when I walked into my house, I planned on telling my mom. That way I could get this done and over with.
"Mom?" I call out as I place my coat on the table and look around the tight area.
The sliding door opens, revealing my mom in a long sweater and jeans. Her hair was up into a messy bun and her green eyes smiled over at me as she walked over to me.
"I got worried that you weren't going to make it home before the storm hit." She says pulling me into a hug.
I laugh awkwardly and pat her back as I shake my head. "I barely did. Can we sit down? There's something that I need to talk to you about."
"Sure. Do you want me to heat up some hot chocolate? A new episode of The Bachelor is on tonight and I thought we could watch it together."
I smile at the thought and nod my head. "Yeah just let me go and put my bag down."
My mom smiles and walks the short walk over to the stove while I walk over to the bedroom. I set my bag down next to the bed and look over at the small mirror hanging on the wall and scrunch my nose up.
My blond hair was a birds nest with hair all over the place and tangled up in the middle, on the ends, and on the top. I seriously look like I just got hit by a truck instead of the wind.
I hear my mom humming a random tune as I walk out of the room and I put a fake smile on so that I wouldn't give anything away.
I take a seat on the small portable couch that the trailer came with and looked at the laptop on the table with a sigh.
The ABC app was up and loaded, the face of the Bachelor smiles over and haunts me as I just stare blankly at it as it would magically talk to me.
My mom walks back with two mugs in her hand and a smile on her worn out face.
I knew she was tired and I probably shouldn't have accepted the invitation of having her stay up later than she should be, but I couldn't ignore the fact that I need my mom and I really needed to talk to her before someone else found out and told her before I could.
When my mom hands me the steaming mug, I thank her as she takes a seat on the couch. She reaches over for the laptop but I stop her by placing my hand over hers and take a deep breath before speaking.
"Mom, can I actually talk to you for a second?"
My mom freezes under my touch but looks at me none of the less and nods her head.
"Of course you can talk to me about anything sweetie." She says smiling at me.
I nod my head and stare down at the mug that I held in my hand and bit my lip. The warmth that the liquid held and started to surround the mug gave me little to no comfort as my mom sat back making my hand drop to my side.
We sit in silence for a while, the only sound coming from the harsh winds blowing against the trailer indicating that the storm was near and was ready to strike.
"Aaliyah, honey what's wrong? You can tell me anything." My mom says putting her hand on my hand that was resting on my lap and giving it a reassuring squeeze.
I smile at the small gesture and nod my head. "I know that. It's just," I let out a breath and shake my head. "I just don't want you to be disappointed in me."
"Honey you know I could never be disappointed in you. I may get a little hurt or upset, but I could never be disappointed in you."
I nod my head and close my eyes, afraid to see the look in her eyes after what I was about to tell her. Afraid to watch the disappointment come across her eyes.
She may say she won't be disappointed in me now because she doesn't quite know what it is that I have to tell her, but I know that once I do tell her she will because once I tell her she'll feel disappointed because I did the exact same thing she did and she'll claim it will be her fault when in fact it wasn't because I didn't defend myself when I need to the most.
She'll be disappointed because she'll say I was throwing my life away when I could be making a future for myself.
Even though she won't say it out loud, I know that deep down that all she wants me to do is live the life she never could. To not let some small mistake make me throw my life away.
She wants me to live my life and she'll probably say I can't because I'll be stuck doing the same things that she does every day and knowing that I'm the reason behind all of her pain hurts me, but I know deep down she loves me and she wants me to live the life she couldn't but when she finds out that I'm pregnant she'll be disappointed I just know she will be.
Pushing away all the negative thoughts away, I squeeze her hand back before whispering the words that I was afraid to say.
"Mama I'm pregnant."
- Writer
