As much as possible, I deny her the satisfaction of hearing me scream. I invoke curses on her, her sister, all of their ancestors, and all of the offspring they never had. I curse them in Spanish, Japanese, and Tagalog. I am creative and enthusiastic. She is unimpressed by my indignation, so I try apology. I tell her that I have seen the light and I will be the best little girl ever. I offer to please her in ways that are specific and obscene. I shout into the darkness. I shriek and sob.
It’s all useless monologue. If she says anything at all, I am unable to hear it. The unending pain is her reply. Promises earn no mercy. Begging makes her more cruel.
I spend hours spread-eagled face up. My ass scorching the concrete under us, while she straddles my face. There is a constant rash on my c
