The Human Alpha

[]=-Chapter 2-=[]

Christian’s POV

I was over at one of the tables making myself a plate of food when I felt a hand clasp my shoulder. I turned my head to see Ethan, my best friend, and future Beta, standing beside me with a happy smile on his face. He, like me, had already started assuming the Beta role from his father, Samuel, but wouldn’t truly become Beta until I became Alpha.

“Hey man, the run is going to start soon. Do you want me to stay here with you?” he asked the same question that he always asks when runs happen. He was a good guy, always trying to make sure I didn’t feel left out since I didn’t have a wolf and couldn’t run with the pack, but every time he asked, it just made me feel bad that he even had to consider staying out of the run so that I wouldn’t be alone. No Beta should have to stay behind with their Alpha during pack events.

I tried to keep a smile on my face when I replied, “Nah, I’ll hang out with Jayce. Besides, it’s not like runs happen that often. Go have fun with everyone.” It was hard to ignore the achy feeling in my heart from my own words, knowing that I would never be able to experience the fun of running with my pack. That hurt a whole lot more than anyone could imagine. Luckily, as I said to Ethan, runs don’t happen often in our pack. Some packs do weekly hunts or runs and some do monthly on the full moon, but our pack just does runs when major events happen. It was something that started the day I was born actually. The whole pack was buzzing with excitement and joy for their new Alpha pup, so my dad decided to lead the pack on a run that night as a way of expressing their happiness and getting some of their built-up energy and excitement out. That was the first time our pack ever went on a run, and now, 26 years later, it is still a common tradition during important events for us.

Ethan looked me right in the eye, almost seeming as if he were searching for any hint of a lie in my words. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it will be a good time to catch up with him after his and Abbie’s trip,” I replied as I looked around the room, simply just to avoid looking him in the eye. “Now go on, it seems like everyone is starting to head outside.”

Ethan turned and headed towards the door of the dining hall along with many other pack members who were participating in the run tonight. “Alright man, I’ll see you tomorrow.”

I headed over to where Jayce was sitting, still talking to Abbie, who ended up being the last of the ones who could run that still lingered inside. As I approached, I overheard some of the conversation they were having.

“Come on Abbie, you need to go on this run. I’ll be fine,” Jayce attempted to assure my sister, but she just shook her head.

“No, it’s fine, I will stay here with you.” Abbie looked up when she finished her sentence and looked at me. She must have realized that I was nearby with her heightened senses.

I took the seat on the other side of Jayce. “You can go, Abbie. I’ll hang out with Jayce.” She didn’t seem convinced, so I added a bit more, hoping it would persuade her. “You have been gone for months, and this run is solely for your return to the pack. You have to go.”

“But I feel bad just leaving Jayce behind. Besides, I don’t care about runs as much as the other pack members do.” She shrugged.

I looked at Abbie for a moment, feeling some frustration set across my features. “I wish I could run with my pack but that is something I will never be able to do. You should run with them any chance you are able to because you are lucky to have the chance to do it.” I looked down at my lap. “Just do the run for me since I can’t,” I muttered. I didn’t want to guilt trip her into running, but I just found it unfair that she was able to run and didn’t want to, while I wanted to so badly and couldn’t.

“Okay, I will.” Abbie stood up and looked at both me and her best friend. “I’ll see you guys later.” We both waited until she was out the door, then turned to look at one another again.

“Come on, we can hang out upstairs in my room.” I stood up and headed toward the door with Jayce following close behind. It only took a few minutes for us to get up to my room, where I turned on the gaming system for us to play games on. We didn’t hang out often, but when we did, we would spend most of our time playing video games.

Just when we had started the game, Jayce glanced over at me. “Thanks for convincing Abbie to go on the run. I always hate when she misses out on pack events just because I’m not a wolf.” His mom is a human and his stepfather, his mother’s mate, is a wolf, so he mostly grew up in the same position I did. The main difference between our situations is that he doesn’t have the Alpha position looming over his head at all times.

“Of course, man. I don’t want her to miss out on those things either. It will be better when she finally finds her mate.” I paused to look at Jayce, remembering what Averie asked our parents and me earlier. “I assume by the fact that you both came home alone that she didn’t happen to find her mate while you were on your trip?”

Jayce shrugged, not sparing a glance at me as he continued to play the video game. “You know how Abbie is about mates, she never wants to talk about them.” He swallowed audibly and scratched the back of his neck. “If she had a mate, I think she would tell you since you’re her family, but there is a chance that she just doesn’t want a mate at all.”

“She’s a werewolf,” I stated matter-of-factly. “No werewolf just doesn’t want a mate.”

“I’m not a werewolf, so I wouldn’t know.” Jayce paused, turning to look at me. “Then again, neither are you.”

His words hit me like a bullet to the heart, and I wanted so badly to be mad at him for saying what he had. I mean I am an Alpha, you can’t just disrespect your Alpha like that, most Alphas would have taken his head just for thinking something like that. I couldn’t be mad at him though, because deep down I knew he was right. I wasn’t a werewolf; I would never be. He knew it just as well as anyone else. Honestly, he might know that fact better than everyone else, since both of us grew up in the same boat. Almost everyone else around us were werewolves, while we were nothing more than weak, worthless humans.

“You are right, I’m not a werewolf,” I finally spoke after several moments of silence. “Maybe I am wrong about my sister, I just want her to be happy and, according to everyone else, it seems like the key to a wolf’s happiness is having a mate.”

Jayce made an expression that I couldn’t read. “There are plenty of humans in the world who don’t have mates and are still beyond ecstatic with their lives. We don’t need mates to be happy, they are just a bonus that some of us get and choose to keep, while others prefer to go without.” Jayce was very wise and I almost thought he should be the Alpha instead of me. I mean, if a human had to be an Alpha, he would probably make the best one between the two of us. Unfortunately, that isn’t how the Moon Goddess decided to have things be.

I thought for a little bit and decided that maybe Jayce would be able to help me with some of my inner turmoil. “You know, my dad isn’t going to pass the Alpha position over to me until I find my mate.” For once in my life, I actually felt like I had someone I could talk with and relate to. Someone who understood what I was going through. Jayce may not be an Alpha, but he was a human who was raised with wolves, and he had intelligence beyond my years. “I don’t know if he has even considered the possibility that I won’t have a mate. I mean, as you said before, I am just a human. We don’t always end up having mates.”

Jayce didn’t even hesitate before speaking, almost seeming as if he was waiting for me to express these worries to him. “There is someone out there who was made for you, whether you share the mate bond with them or not. The Moon Goddess wouldn’t have left you without a Luna. When you meet whoever it is, you will just know that they are the one meant to be with you.” Jayce offered me a genuine smile before standing up and pulling me into a hug.

“How do you know?” I whispered, not expecting Jayce to actually be able to hear me.

He pulled away from me, looking at my face with a sure expression. “I just do. I’m certain of it.” The smile on his face gave me assurance that he wasn’t lying, so I just gave him a little nod. Once he knew that I trusted him, he took a step back. “I’m going to wait in Abbie’s room for her return if you don’t mind. Just try not to worry too much about your future as Alpha. The Moon Goddess has a plan, all you need to do is put some faith in her process.”

“Thank you.” I sighed out the words, feeling my body relax. I knew he would be able to ease the tense feeling I felt when it came to the thought of having a mate. I’m not sure how he knew just what to say, but it was exactly what I needed to make me feel better.

I waited until Jayce closed the door behind him so that I wouldn’t seem rude and then ran over to it and twisted the lock, double-checking that it wouldn’t open before stepping back over to my bed. I fished out the black-backed journal that I kept hidden under my mattress, flipping toward the end of the book to find an empty page to sketch on. There were only a few clean sheets left in this book before it would join the others in the box stowed in the back of my closet and I would have to buy myself another one.

The pencil that I held in my hand glided across the paper, leaving a smooth path of graphite behind it. I always loved the way my hand and brain seemed to work together to create seemingly effortless, yet intricate designs. The relaxation I felt from even the smallest of sketches delighted me in ways that nobody else could understand.

There wasn’t a single person that knew about my little hobby, despite the fact that I had been drawing since I was six, and I planned to keep it that way. It was my little escape from the real world, and I didn’t want anyone to ruin that for me. This was the one thing that I had that was solely mine, and I refused to share it with anyone else. It was my secret pleasure and I didn’t want anyone to ruin it for me.

I have no clue how long I sat in my bed, working on this one singular drawing, but when I finally finished, I was more than proud of the piece I had created. It was a drawing of me in the middle of a shift. Not something that could ever happen, but it was something I had imagined for the longest time.

Many times over the years, I have drawn similar images of myself as a wolf, wishing it were something that could actually happen. The longing I had to stretch my legs while running through the woods, feeling the leaves crunch under my paws and the wind in my fur would be something that would never be fulfilled except for in my own fantasy world of my drawings. At least that version of myself got to experience that joy.

The sudden knock on my door startled me and I quickly slammed my notebook shut, shoving it under my mattress and tossing the pencil across the room before rushing to the door to unlock it. I ran my fingers through my cappuccino-colored hair as I opened the door, to find my sister, Abbie, standing there looking at me.

“I just got back from the run and saw your light was on. Is everything okay?” She asked, glancing around my room as if she were looking for something to be out of place. Maybe she heard the pencil hit the wall, and was trying to figure out what it was.

“Yeah, everything is fine. I was just playing video games.” I swung my hand back toward motion to my TV and Abbie’s eyebrows raised slightly. I followed her line of sight and noticed that my game system must have shut itself down after the length of time I spent not using it, proving to Abbie that I had been lying.

Abbie let out a little sigh. “I’m sorry for upsetting you about the run.” She frowned, clearly thinking that I had been sitting in here this whole time pouting about the fact that I couldn’t run with my pack. I’d rather have her think that than know what I was actually doing, so I didn’t correct her.

“It’s fine, it’s just hard not being like everyone else.” I avoided eye contact, not wanting her to see that I was lying. I was never the best at hiding the truth, so it was a surprise that I managed to keep my art a secret from everyone for twenty years. “Sorry for pushing you to go on the run even though you didn’t want to.”

Abbie shook her head. “No, you were right. I should take every chance I get to do stuff like that with the pack. Sometimes I take being a wolf for granted, and that isn’t fair, so I am sorry about that.” She turned to head toward her room, pausing after a few steps and looking over her shoulder at me. “You know, if I had the chance to change things, I would make you the werewolf and me the human.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she continued down the hall toward her room and I retreated into my own, shutting the door and turning out the lights before flopping onto my bed. Maybe Jayce was right about Abbie earlier; she really is different from most werewolves.