Chapter Eight
1210 Words
Jim
I moved my fork across the plate at a sloth’s place. In my head the fork was my father and the tiny piece of carrot was me. I directed the carrot to a closely gathered group of peas and in my head I could hear the peas hungrily scream, ready to devour the carrot. As the carrot neared the group of peas, the peas began gnashing their teeth menacingly yet the fork did not stop, it kept pushing the carrot. Pushing and pushing, the peas’ screams grew louder and louder…
“James? James are you even listening to your father?”
I snapped out of my f****d up imagination and flitted my eyes to my father. He was staring at me intently, his glasses perched carefully at the bridge of his nose, his ashen hair combed back neatly to pave way for his large forehead.
At that moment, I decided I was glad to have inherited my mother’s physical features.
“Yes I was mom. And no dad I haven’t made any new friends.”
Silence filled the dining table as everyone awaited my father’s reaction. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw my little brother, Sean, launch a single pea across the room. Neither my father nor my mother noticed this. A pang of guilt stabbed my chest. I had robbed my Sean of a normal childhood.
“We talked about this James. You cannot keep being a social pariah at Scanton High. The parents of those kids are very influential and with the elections coming up…Son, for once in your life do something for someone other than yourself.”
Heat rose in my cheeks, a bitter taste formed in my mouth. I suddenly felt sick.
“May I be excused, I am not feeling well.”
“Typical James.”
I averted my gaze toward my mother. She was sipping wine from a tall, wide glass. It occurred to me that I had never seen that glass empty.
“What is that supposed to mean mom?”
My mother snorted before releasing a loud burp. Sean chuckled and my father sighed. I held my mother’s gaze.
“It means that every time s**t gets uncomfortable-"
“Language Marissa there is a child at this table…”
Now is when you notice?
“Sorry sorry my bad. Let me try again…”
I flinched as my mother loudly cleared her throat. My father silently cussed, Sean continued to chuckle. I held my mother’s gaze.
“When things get tough you tuck in your balls and run-"
“Jesus Marissa! Upstairs now!”
I watched as my mother slowly stood up, grabbed her glass of wine and hobbled out of the dining room.
“Are you happy now James?”
I gritted my teeth and swallowed the hot bile that was bubbling in my throat.
“Look at me James! Look at me while I am speaking to you!”
I trained my eyes at my mother’s figure as she struggled to make her way up the stairs. One of these days she would lose her footing, and she would tumble cracking her skull when her body hit the ground.
“I f*****g said-"
“There is a kid in the room remember?”
I shifted my body weight in my seat to view Sean. His signature mischievous grin was nowhere to be seen and his eyes were glassy with unshed tears.
“Hey…go up to your room, I will come read you that story you like…”
A ghost of a smile appeared on his lips. Progress.
“And I will sing that song you like…the one with all the Spanish words…”
His eyes lit up, he blinked back the tears.
“And you will give me your truck?”
I shrugged my shoulders and leaned against the table.
“I don’t know dude, can you drive a truck?”
Warm liquid trickled in my stomach as Sean’s face broke into a wide smile.
“I am Vin Diesel’s renarnation…”
“That’s not a word dude. The word you are looking for is rein-car-nation.”
“Renartion?”
“Rein-car-nation.”
“Rencartion?”
“Rein-car-nation.”
“Enough! Go to bed Sean.”
The mischievous grin that had made its way to my brother’s mouth vanished. He lowered his head, stepped down from his chair, and silently left the room.
“Keep this up and you will have two sons who hate you.”
My father clenched his jaw and folded his hands into fists. Pride churned my insides.
“I got a call today. First day back and you are cheating, smoking, showing up late in class…First day back and you already landed yourself in detention…Is this your way of getting attention? Because James you have it, you have our undivided attention.”
“I did not ask for it. I never asked for any of it.”
My father blinked rapidly at the words. I saw a flicker of concern, at least that was what I imagined it to be.
“Son, what happened with Sara and-"
“Don’t you dare say her name.”
My father let out a hefty sigh and leaned back in his chair.
“How…how do I help you?”
I felt my throat clog with scorching tears. I suddenly felt exhausted and weak.
“Get me out. Let me leave Scanton High. Let me leave town. I will enlist in the army…I will work in a goddamn factory in the city…Just please, let me go.”
The latter words came out in a hoarse whisper. I locked my eyes with my father. Will he finally listen?
“Your mother, God bless her drunk soul, is right. When s**t gets tough you tuck your balls in and run for the hills…You are not leaving Scanton and if you think for a minute that you can run away, I will find you and I will lock you up in that nuthouse for another year. Now you will go upstairs, read your brother a story and you will go to bed. Tomorrow you will go to school and you will behave yourself. Am I clear James?”
My whole body had gone numb. I tried opening my mouth to cuss at him, to give a clever retort but I just couldn’t.
“Good. Oh, and before I forget, Coach Jenkins called me at the office today. He wants you back on the swim team. I am going to bed, turn off the lights when you do so as well.”
Long after my father had left the dining room, I sat there, unmoving, mulling over his words. When I finally reached upstairs, I silently approached Sean’s room. He was fast asleep, his arms wrapped around a large stuffed toy. Staring at him, I realized I could never run away. I would not want to lose the privilege of coming to visit the only human being left on the planet that I actually love.
A humorless chuckle escaped my throat at the word. If I had to choose who to kill between the guy who invented algebra and the one who created love, I would definitely kill them both.
- Writer
