Becoming His

Chapter 1 Tobias Sherwood wrinkled his nose at the clothes in his closet. Sure, he loved the vibrant blues, purples, greens, yellows, and pinks. And a few reds, of course. But just now he would have been happier with brown, black, or gray. He adjusted the pink polka dot Turbie Twist he had wrapped around his wet hair. It had a tendency to lean to the side whenever he tilted his head. He also wore a big magenta bathrobe. “What about that Charlie Brown shirt you had on when you came to visit me in the hospital?” Kirk Matheson asked from Toby’s bed. Not that Kirk was in Toby’s bed. Yuck. They’d been best friends since grade school. Kirk lay on it, trying to help, supposedly, Toby get ready for his day at the television studio. Toby had managed to get an invitation to see Lucas Cartwright filming the detective show he starred in on cable. He could barely stand still. “I gave it away to a homeless man,” Toby explained. “You what?” He’d seen Kirk earlier lying on his back, his feet dangerously close to Toby’s pillows, staring up at the ceiling. “I was downtown and this homeless guy liked my shirt so I gave it to him.” Toby shrugged, even though Kirk couldn’t see it from his position in the bedroom. “You know what they say about giving the shirt off your back.” “You are just too good sometimes.” “I don’t think that’s possible to be too good,” Toby said absently. “Anyway, that wouldn’t have been the look I was going for anyway.” Kirk sighed. “What were you looking for?” Toby c****d his head, listening. He heard the distinct sound of a tin being opened. He walked out of his walk-in closet and slapped Kirk’s hand just as he reached inside the Almond Roca container. “Hey!” Kirk scowled as Toby snatched the tin away and stuck the lid back on. “I told you, stay out of my Almond Roca.” “Geez, I just wanted one.” “I don’t share my Almond Roca. There are chips in the kitchen. Eat those. Or ice cream in the freezer.” “Damn, you’re such a selfish prick sometimes.” Toby raised a carefully shaped eyebrow. “Next time buy your own.” Kirk grimaced. “It’s not like they stopped making it, you know. You can buy more.” Narrowing his eyes, Toby opened the container, fished out a gold wrapped English toffee and threw it at Kirk’s head. “And they say I’m dramatic. But that’s it, you get no more.” Kirk smiled. “What look were you going for?” Tugging his bottom lip with his teeth, Toby walked back into his closet. “Well, the truth is, I wanted to look less…flamboyant.” Kirk appeared in the closet doorway. He leaned against it. “You do know Lucas has a girlfriend, right?” “I know that. Melinda.” “Melissa,” Kirk corrected. “Whatever. I’m not going to the filming to score with Lucas.” “Even though you know he’s bisexual?” Kirk asked. “Yes, even then. I’m not a home wrecker. I just want to see the show ‘cause I like it.” Toby sighed, completely disappointed with his closet. “When you say less flamboyant, what do you mean?” He eyed the array of colors in Toby’s closet. Toby stared at Kirk for a second, wondering exactly how to put this without his friend making fun of him. He was so not in the mood for that. “I want to appear normal.” “Normal how?” He rolled his eyes and waved his hands. “Straight.” Kirk’s jaw dropped. “Oh, stop bugging your eyes out, meanie. I can be straight.” “Tob, do you see what you’re wearing right now?” “This is in the comfort of my own home,” he said. “But Lucas knows you’re gay.” “I know that, but this is a studio. I don’t want to embarrass him or anyone, so I figured if they are nice enough to have me there, I could be straight.” Kirk crossed his arms. “You aren’t embarrassing. Why should you have to change yourself for them?” “Please, don’t pretend people don’t stare at me sometimes like I’ve grown two heads. I know they do.” “Well—” Toby waved his hands in dismissal. “It’s just for a day. I’ll make my hair look flat and boring and go without makeup and wear neutral colors.” “All right.” His friend nodded. “But, even if you dress the part, um, Tob, you…er…well, if you open your mouth they might guess.” He frowned. “I can talk like a straight guy.” “Let’s hear it,” Kirk urged. Toby rolled his eyes, but went along with it. “Hot damn! That chick is f*****g hot!” Kirk blinked. “Did-did you say f*****g?” He felt his face go flaming hot. “Yeah.” “But you think it’s crass and trashy.” “I still do but straight guys use it all the time.” “Well, sure, but I don’t know if it sounds quite right coming from you. Stick to the hot damn and the chick is hot,” Kirk suggested. “If you say so.” Toby turned his attention back to his closet. “I suppose I’ll wear jeans. Everyone wears those anyway.” He grabbed a pair of his favorite. He guessed some people might find it strange he even kept his jeans on hangers, but well, he hated wrinkles. “No, not those.” Kirk yanked the hanger out of his hand. “Those are the ones that look painted on your bubble butt, aren’t they?” Toby smiled. “Yeah.” “If you are really determined not to stand out as gay at the studio then trust me, those aren’t the ones to wear.” “Oh, right. Straight men wear those baggy ones that fall off their asses and show their…er…unmentionables.” He blushed, unable to bring himself to speak the word “crack.” So, okay, he was a total dork. Fortunately, Kirk had become quite used to his eccentricities. Kirk sorted through his jeans and handed a pair to Toby. “Try these.” “Those? I’ve been meaning to throw these away. They’re too big for me.” “Yup. Perfect.” Kirk glanced at the shirts on the other side of the closet and pointed at one. “How about that blue one.” Toby glared at him. “That is not blue it is aqua.” His friend smiled. “Aqua, then.” He pulled the shirt out and assessed it. “I don’t know. I suppose it’s better than some of the others.” “Exactly, and you don’t have time to go pick something out at a store.” Toby waved a hand dismissively. “Wait for me out in the living room.” “All right, but hurry, I’m supposed to go have lunch with Elijah.” He pulled on the jeans but decided they were so baggy he needed a belt. Unfortunately the only belts he had happened to be adorned with rhinestones. Well, that couldn’t be that different than the ones cowboys wore with horseshoes and the like, so he went with the belt. Then he couldn’t decide whether to tuck in his buttoned down aqua shirt or leave it out. Tucked in looked too horrible and he just couldn’t do it, even if a straight man would. Taking off his Turbie Twist to reveal his still damp hair, he studied the crayon yellow mass critically. Normally he would spend hours fixing it in a you-know-you-want-me style. But now he just combed it flat and grimaced. He reached for his blush and lip gloss and then his hand froze. He would be sans makeup. You aren’t trying to attract Lucas. And he really wasn’t. Sure, Lucas was drop dead gorgeous. He’d been watching the guy’s detective show even before meeting him in person, briefly, at the hospital after Kirk’s and Elijah’s bus accident. He’d even checked out Lucas’s website so he knew the guy was bisexual and had a girlfriend. So Toby had a teensy tiny crush on the man. He had no intention of acting on it while Lucas had said girlfriend. Toby rolled his eyes at his own appearance and left his bedroom. He’d wasted enough time.