Shoulda Been a Cowboy

“Look at this one,” Charlie Bradley said, handing his iPhone to his coworker. They were having lunch in the cafeteria of their high-rise office building in downtown Chicago. “Hmmm…” Danny Burke replied, swallowing a mouthful of turkey club. “Never gonna happen.” “Yes, it will,” Charlie answered stubbornly. “This time he promised I could make the choice for our vacation.” “Charlie,” Danny said, dipping a French fry into a mixture of catsup and ranch dressing, “how many times has Jared Clarke said ‘you choose,’ and then when you picked a place to eat or somewhere to hang out, said ‘Naw, we’re going where I want.’” Charlie knew Danny was right. Charlie’s boyfriend, Jared, rarely took Charlie’s interests or desires into consideration. All during the seven years they’d been together it was always Jared who decided when and where they would eat, dance, or vacation. And they would almost always vacation in some city with a gay district or gay resort. After awhile they all looked the same to Charlie: gay clubs, nude beaches, all indistinguishable from one another. Even when he looked at pictures years later he couldn’t tell where they had been taken. But this time Charlie had made Jared promise to go along with his choice, and Charlie’s choice was a dude ranch that catered to a gay clientele. He’d always had a thing for cowboys. Ever since he could remember they were a turn on for him. Many of the bookmarks on his computer at home led to sites that featured cowboys in all manner of activities…many of them erotic. “This is gonna be different,” Charlie said, nodding his head for emphasis as he took the phone from Danny. “Listen to this: Stallions and Studs isn’t your typical dude ranch. Located on 1,200 acres of prime ranch land in beautiful southwestern Idaho not only does it have all that you choose a western vacation for: horseback riding, trail rides, cattle herding, rodeo, campfires, and more, but it also sports a climate-controlled, clothing-optional pool with hot tub and sauna, a country western bar with a live band for dancing, our five-star Chuck Wagon Restaurant, and a full service gym and spa with Swedish massage. Mack MacIntyre and his staff will make sure your western vacation will be the best you ever had. Come spend a week or two with us, and let all your cowboy fantasies come to life. Your satisfaction is guaranteed.” Charlie looked up from his iPhone’s screen. “There, see. Not only got all the cowboy stuff I’d like, but all the crap Jared likes as well. This time he’s gonna say yes.” “Never gonna happen,” Danny said again, dipping another fry and taking a swig of his Coke.