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1321 Words
Lily POV
"Run...! Just keep running! We're going to make it...! My brothers voice ran through my mind. Just like it did every night.
This nightmare kept playing repeatedly.
I couldn't wake up. I couldn't force my eyes open. The scene kept playing over again.
I could feel my body grow cold...
Like a bucket of ice water was thrown on me.
I needed him... He was the only one who could make this all go away...
I could feel tears stream down my face.
Just wake up! Just wake up! That's all you need to do!
I kept saying those words in my head.
Just then I could feel my body being shaken.
The warmth started to slowly reach my body.
"Lily! Wake up!" The voice seemed to far, but it was right in my ear.
Soon my eyes shot open, then tears started to flow down my face. I pulled him closer.
"Did you have another dream?" He asked. I nodded, not really trusting my voice.
"Do you want to sleep in my room?" He asked. I could hear the tiredness in his voice. I felt horrible. He was tired because of me.
Because of this stupid nightmare I was having every night.
He picked me up bridal style and grabbed my blanket and we walked to his room. I heard voices speak to him as we went to his room.
"Is she ok?" One asked. I couldn't really tell who was talking, I was slowly going in and out of consciousness.
I couldn't hear anything after that. I was asleep.
When I had those dreams or nightmares, I needed to feel the touch of someone.
I hated it all the same.
After what my brother and I went through, a touch is what I craved.
I felt him set me down and get in the bed too. He put a pillow in between us and pulled the blanket over me and then himself.
"I-I'm... sorry I cause you so many problems... I will be a better sister to you..." I said no louder than a whisper.
"Don't apologize, none of what happened to us was your problem. I am your big brother for a reason. We saved each other from that death trap. Now get some sleep." He said. I nodded but I knew he wouldn't be able to see. I closed my eyes and listened to the sounds around me.
I could hear the leaves on the trees move.
I counted how many times the wind blew through them.
It was five.
Then I counted how many breaths my brother took before I knew he was asleep.
It was fifty.
When it was complete silent.
That was when the panic started once again, I hated the quiet but hated the noise. I closed my eyes and hugged my blanket closer. Keeping my eyes open until exhaustion took over completely.
When I opened my eyes.
Ethan wasn't next to me.
I could hear the shower run. I got up slowly.
Getting dizzy with every movement I made.
I forced myself to stand up. I felt gross and wanted to take a bath and I needed to get some schoolwork done.
I passed by two other bedrooms on the way. Thanking the universe that they were still asleep.
I looked at my clock. It read in big red numbers.
5:45
I decided against a bath until tonight. I wanted to shower quickly and get some breakfast done for the boys and make their lunch before I start any work.
I turned the water on letting the warm water relax every muscle.
I reluctantly washed myself and my hair.
I smelled of old sweat.
I made a mental note to wash my sheets as well as Ethan's.
I got out of the shower and quickly got dressed.
I just grabbed an old over sized shirt and a pair of panties.
Everyone in this house has seen one or another naked.
Not on purpose.
My brother and I were forced to be without clothes for days on end...
Even when we were older and that shouldn't have been ok.
I was comfortable and that's all I cared about.
Everyone was going to leave for work soon. I would be left alone all day.
I quickly went downstairs and opened the fridge.
What could I make that was fast?
I grabbed eggs and some sausage. I could pan fry them both and make them lunch at the same time.
I busted my butt around the kitchen plating everything and putting lunch together.
I was done in record time!
I impressed myself.
It only took a few minutes for everyone to pile down. I sat on the opposite side of the island.
Slowly feeling that sick to my stomach feeling whenever I was going to have a panic attack.
Everything nowadays has been a trigger.
I tried to rack my brain around what it could be this time. I searched around the room until I finally landed on the plate of food that I made everyone.
Meat...
I swallowed down the lump that was in my throat.
I have been a burden to everyone here.
They all probably hated me.
I'm sure Ethan hated me the most.
I was so needy and helpless....
Well that's what I was told by those who were supposed to protect me.
I could never do anything right.
Always messing everything up. I could do nothing right.
Those thoughts were put on the back burner when I heard footsteps coming down the stairs.
"Ooooo! Something smells good!" A voice said. I couldn't help but smile.
"I smell sausage!" Another one said. I couldn't help but let out a small laugh.
"Guys start eating were going to be late." Ethan said to his two friends.
They all worked for the same company.
Mind you it wasn't a legal one.
But they worked under the local police department. So, they didn't get into much trouble.
Only if they messed up.
My brother and his friends decided to get an apartment at the last minute.
It was in order to save me from the hell hole that we called a house with those so-called parents.
Ethan did everything he could to take the pain that they caused me away.
He had his own demons to battle and I couldn't let him take mine on as well.
We both started out going down destructive paths.
He started drinking and getting involved with the wrong people.
I started to crave someone's touch; it didn't matter who. I found comfort in one of his old friends.
Nothing came out of it, just heavy touching and making out.
I almost gave him the one thing I protected.
I caught myself and ended it right there.
I never talked to him again.
My brother goes to parties sometimes and I see him there.
I try to ignore him, but he always finds me alone and I don't know how.
After I told my brother what happened. Him and his current friends beat the crap out of him.
He was twenty and I was sixteen.
We never saw much of him after that night.
I shook that thought away and watched the boys in front of me eat like their life depended on it.
"We should be home around five tonight. We wanted to go out to eat." Ethan giving me a look which was his form of the puppy dog face.
I sighed knowing that I wouldn't win this battle.
"O-Only if I finish all of my schoolwork." I said. Ethan started air pumping the air.
He knew I would finish. Once everyone was finished eating, we said our goodbyes.
My brother and his friends. Making sure I locked the door. Once I seen their cars leave. I bolted up the stairs to my room and locking it. I closed the curtains and fell on my bed.
I tried to hold it in.
I thought that if I held it in nothing would happen.
I collapsed on my bed...
Having one of the worst panic attacks I've ever had. I pulled my knees close to body and just let it take toll on my body.
I laid there for what felt like hours.
Soon it was over. I had to slow my breathing, so I didn't have another one.
Word Count: 1397
Alright! The first chapter! How did I do? Howdoes the story sound? Its my first time writing this kind of story and I'm alittle nervous! Let me know what you think! LIKE & COMMENT
- Writer
