My Runaway Bride (English)

  Kim's POV   “Oh my God, Kim! You look so stunning in that gown!” Carl Trey exclaimed when they got the chance to see me inside the dresser. They're all so happy to see me, I can see it in their eyes. They've been happy for everything for me, all that they ever wished is my happiness in this lifetime. I faked a smile. I turned to the mirror and I saw that pretty girl they're saying. She's wearing a beautiful wedding gown and she really looks so stunning. But I guess there's something wrong, there's something missing. There's no sign of happiness on her face. Those beautiful lips aren’t smiling, it's a hard passive line today. She should be happy right? But why isn't she smiling? She's getting married, her dream is about to happen. She's marrying the man of her dreams, the man that she ever wished to have. They're getting married today, why is she not happy? Why is she so broke? Why is she so sad? I didn't know that this can happen. I didn't know that despite our wishes being granted, we can still be sad. I thought our wishes, our hopes, our longings will make us happy someday, once we achieve them. But I guess it's not true.   People can dream of becoming someone but cannot be fully happy when they are on it. People can wish something but can still be unsatisfied when they already have it.   “Kim? Oh my gosh, I told you that gown will make you even more beautiful. Look at you, you look so beautiful in white!” From the mirror, I saw Naomi entering the room. She's wearing a pink dress because it's the motif of my wedding and she's one of my bride's maids . A huge smile is plastered on her face, looking satisfied and happy for me.   “You look mature!” She exclaimed when she's already infront of me. She looked at me happily. I faked a smile.   Sean and Samantha entered the room too. They both smiled at me when they saw me. Sean is the best man and Samantha's my maid of honor.   Sammy smiled at me bitterly. She knows what I'm feeling, she knows I'm not a bit happy of this wedding. She never left me, even when it's hard to be between me and Armie, she still made sure that I can lean on her. She made sure Armie and I can lean on her, she made sure not to be bias. “I'm so excited!”   “You should be! This is the day! Finally, Kim's gonna be an Ekelund!”   I watched my friends laugh together, get excited together. How I wish I can be this happy for myself, how I wish I can be selfish just for once. But even when this is what I've been dreaming for, I still can't be happy. I can't be happy when I know I've hurt two people, I can't be happy for myself, maybe because I never wanted to break people for the sake of my own happiness.   “Dylan already texted.”   That was our cue to start moving. Naomi and Cuttie helped me with my gown while getting out of the hotel. This is where I spent the night. Carl Trey, my parents and Xian also stayed here but on different rooms.   Xian didn't see me this morning, he went to the church earlier with Dylan. My friends had the choice to wait for me at the church but they wanted to see me before going there so we'll be in convoy.   A white limousine with flowers on its hood is waiting infront of the hotel. The chauffeur opened the door for me. Carl Trey helped me get inside properly before she hopped in to join me. I'm supposed to be alone on the way to the church but I want a friend to accompany me. Naomi, Larry, and Samantha can't be with me because they're bride's maids so Carl Trey's here to be with me.   "Are you ready?" She asked me.   I sighed, I looked at her and nodded.   She held my hand and gently squeezed it. "After this day, you will be an Ekelund. I'm so happy for you Kim."   I smiled. She told the chauffeur to leave and as soon as we left the hotel, my heart started racing fast.   Can I really do this? Can I really marry Xian even when I know I just forced him? Even when I know I just took him from Armie, from a friend? Can I really do this to the both of them?   The loud beating inside my chest is hurting me. It's like it's telling me I should stop right now, I should stop while we're not yet on it. I should stop, it's not too late to stop and change my mind.   But our families wanted us to be together, they already spent too much and backing out right now is not just a waste of their money but also a waste of their time and effort and an embarassment for us.   I felt the sting of unshed tears on my eyes. I wonder how Xian feels right now, I wonder if he hates me for putting him up on this situation.   He loves Armie so much, I know that. They grew up together, they know each other so much and they've been in a relationship for quite long, we all know that they'll end up together in the end.   But I came into the scene. His family is indebted to my parents, mom and dad helped them survive from bankruptcy. And my mom knows that I like Xian secretly, she knows I like him so much since we were kids but the chances to be with him wayback is just impossible because he lives overseas. We only get to see each other on important occassions and when our friends would want to meet.   My mom used the chance to ask for this marriage, she used their family's debt to put us together.   I know my mom just loves me so much, because I'm their only daughter. I know they just want me to be happy, I thought it's gonna make me happy but I just realized that it will just make me miserable.   If I continue this marriage, then I'll probably sleep with a heavy heart every night. I'll probably be forever guilty because I ruined two people, because I broke two people for my own happiness.   Xian broke up with Armie because of me. He gave her up so he can pay for their debt of gratitude to my family. Armie got mad at me because of that, our friendship is ruined.   I felt my tears falling down my cheeks. I tried to wipe it away before Carl Trey sees it but it's too late. Her eyes widened when she saw me crying.   "H-hey, what's wrong?"   I shook my head, "Please stop the car."   "What?"   "Just please stop the car," I cried.   The chauffeur heard me and he immediately maneuvered to the side of the road.   "But why?" She looked outside the window, we're already near. "Kim this is not a nice joke. What's wrong? Why are we stopping?"   I looked at her, she looked at me with eyes full of concern. I shook my head one more time and she immediately knew what I mean.   "Oh no Kim.."   "I can't do this, I'm sorry."   "But why?"   "I..I just can't." I covered my face with my palm and cried.   "What are we gonna do now? Do you want me to call them? Do you want to talk to your mom?"   I nodded while crying. She fished for the phone on her bag, she handed it to me immediately.   She sighed, "I don't know what's wrong but if it's what you wanted then go on and call them, I'm here for you Kim."   I nodded. Oh God, I'm so thankful that she's here. I'll go crazy if I'm alone here. I dialled my mom's number with trembling hands.   I know they'll get mad at me for this but I know my mom will understand me too. She's the only person who can understand me deeply. I know this will be a big embarassment not just for my family but also to Xian's family but I will make sure to apologize after this.   My mom answered just after a few rings. "Hello Kim? Where are you?" I can sense excitement on her voice and it broke me evenmore.   "Mom.." I tried my best not to trail off but then failed. "I'm sorry."   "Kim? What's wrong?"   "Mom I'm so sorry.." I cried. "I can't marry Xian, please tell him I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."   I didn't wait for her response and I just ended the call immediately. My heart is so broke, I just lost the chance to be with him but I know it's nothing compared to the pain I've caused him and Armie.   I know this will be a big problem for our families but I know this will be gone soon. I know this will be over soon and I hope I made the right decision.   I'll be  forever sorry for what I've done but I don't want to be forever guilty. I can’t marry a man who can’t love me back, so it’s better  to runaway.     **