The Gift

Chapter 4: He’s a Magic Man-3

August

He considered trying to get some more sleep but realized he’d probably feel worse if he did. Besides, if he was beating himself up this badly while up and roaming, he could only imagine how much he would torment himself while trying to sleep.

August asked himself a dozen times why he’d said what he’d said to Doren and came up with the same answer each round. He was obviously losing his mind. To accuse Doren of trying to get him into bed, or even just suggest that Doren might consider trying, was about the worst thing August could have imagined himself doing on this trip. He was more than certain that Doren thought he was the most self-absorbed person that had ever existed. Doren had people offering themselves up with no more plying than a crook of his finger or flash of his smile. Doren certainly didn’t need him, and if Doren’s reaction could be trusted, Doren hadn’t given the idea a single iota of consideration either. And why would he?

August dropped into the chair beside the bed, frustrated and furious with himself. He wished he could call home and spend some time whining to his mother. Or a friend, if he had one willing to give some cheering up. But who would offer sympathy? Who wouldn’t tell him to stop acting like an infant? Doren wasn’t the one acting like a child. Doren wasn’t accusing him of playing ridiculous and unlikely games. August was the only one out of the two of them who wasn’t being professional.

So instead, he showered. He dried his hair and watched television until noon. And when his stomach started to complain he decided to search out a diner or café in the hotel to grab something quickly before they left. He was just poking his head into the hallway, when Doren stepped through the door of his own room. Doren looked awesome: tight black jeans, polished boots, and a gray shirt with long sleeves that looked two sizes too small but absolutely delicious stretched over his chest and flat stomach. August dropped his eyes quickly when Doren looked over and caught him staring.

Doren clicked his tongue. He took a long look. “You going for lunch?”

August nodded, too embarrassed to speak. Mere hours after accusing someone of impropriety and he was the one ogling like Doren was a centerfold.

Doren’s expression was still dark and unreadable as he walked toward August. His forehead was creased and his gaze was hard. Eyeliner circled his eyes, highlighting the blue and giving his gaze even more depth than it had already. He stopped at August’s door, leaned against the wall, and let his eyes roam all over August.

If August hadn’t been clenching the key card with all his strength, he was sure it would have trembled right out of his hand.

“Why do you do that?” Doren studied August’s eyes as he asked.

August swallowed. “Why do I do what?”

Doren was still watching August intently but his brow was smoothing, his face softening. “Why do you look at me like that if you really can’t stand me?”

August gave him a nervous laugh, and the moment it left his throat, he regretted it. He didn’t feel like laughing at all. “I never did,” he replied, stuttering. “I never said that I couldn’t stand you.”

“We literally just had that conver—”

“No.” August shook his head. “What I said was, we work together. That we need boundaries. I didn’t…”

Doren’s expression hardened again and August hurried to restart words. “I’m not an i***t, Doren. And I don’t want to assume you would ever even consider me as something interesting. I’m not imagining it would happen or throwing it out there to see what reaction I get, I’m just trying to make sure we set some ground rules. I see you just like anyone else does. You’re gorgeous. You’re sexy. Anyone would be a fool to turn you away. So, if I said something stupid, it was as much for myself as it was for you. There are just so many reasons that it would end up poorly if either of us acted on bad ideas—”

“Like?”

August frowned. They really needed to stop cutting each other off like that. “Like for one thing, you’re my superior and I need to respect you and take direction from you. That would get awkward if we slept together. And for another thing…” he fought to put his thoughts into phrases that would make sense and not sound cliché, “Well, I guess for another thing, I’m not that kind of guy. I know that sounds stupid and naive, but it’s true. I like to believe that s*x means something.” He waved off Doren’s opening lips before Doren could say anything. “I know. I know. I get it. I know that makes me sound ridiculously foolish and old-fashioned, and gay men aren’t supposed to think like that, so I’m probably not gay enough for your standards, but I’m sorry. That’s me.”

With a sigh Doren closed his eyes and looked up at the ceiling. He paused, his attention caught by something outside the realm of obvious, and finally said, “I didn’t even know you were gay.” He pushed himself off the wall. “And don’t worry, Auggie. This morning’s speech and this one was wasted air for you. I’m not interested in you like that.”

He began to walk down the hall, stopping when he’d only gone a few feet. “But I think it will be safe for both of us if we grab some lunch together before we meet the beast. We’ll need it.”

August pulled the door closed and walked up the hall to where Doren stood. They walked the length of it together. Then Doren shocked the hell out of August by grasping his hand at the door to the stairwell and holding on to it all the way down to the street.