The Assassin's Destiny

Chapter 6: Ever in my thoughts

Chapter 6: Ever in my thoughts

Penelope

             It has been days since Argent dropped us off at our rental home. The first couple of nights were a little tense because we kept expecting someone to break down our doors. We even slept in the same bed together. However, as the days passed, we both began to loosen up. I still jump when I think I spot a woman who looks like the woman who took us in the distance. But I quickly talk myself down and recover. I don’t think I will never forget that woman for as long as I live. Argent believes that she might have fled the country after the raid or that she even went underground because she can’t risk being caught. It also helps that Mateo has passed by to hang out with us. Lyria was grateful.

             The girl loves to cook and bake, especially when she’s stressed out, which means that Mateo would leave the house full. Unfortunately, Argent hasn’t called or visited. I tried not to let it bum me out, but I’m sure Lyria could tell. I tried to keep my cool and not ask Mateo about it, but it was very difficult. Like a fool, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about him. I’ve even dreamt some very erotic dreams starring Argent.

             Lyria and I were sitting in our small living room, drinking wine, and watching television when she brings up the subject. The soft cushiony brown couch is very comfortable, and we’re both huddled beneath cotton throw blankets.

             “You like him, don’t you?” She asks after taking a small sip of her wine.

             “Who? Mateo? He’s not my type.” I reply in hopes of redirecting the conversation.

             But Lyria is not fooled. The girl has always been far more perceptive than anyone gives her credit for. “You know who I mean, you a*s. I know what your type is. But in case you don’t, let me give you a rundown. He’s tall, muscled, and gorgeous, with golden hair and eyes that are so intense that they burn like the sun. He’s also a bit older, but not in a bad way.”

             The breath leaves my body. She described Argent perfectly.

             “Hey, I’m not judging.” Lyria murmurs with a sweet smile. “Argent is delicious, and I could see that he liked you too.”

             “We’ve kissed,” I mumble in reply.

             Lyria’s eyes open wide with shock. “What? How? When? Why didn’t you tell me before?”

             I shrug my shoulders. “It happened a couple of times. But he regretted it every time that it happened. Mostly because I was the one that initiated it. He was nice about it, but it was seriously embarrassing. That’s why I didn’t tell you. s**t, I like him so much, Lyria. I can’t stop thinking about him, and he has probably forgotten about me.”

             Lyria slides across the couch and rests her head on my shoulder with a comforting sigh. “I’m sorry, sweetie. Guys suck.”

             A chuckle escapes my lips. Lyria totally hit the nail on the head. “How about you?” I turn my head and c**k a brow at her puzzled expression. “You and Mateo seem to be a lot…closer,” I state with a knowing smirk.

             Lyria’s lip quirks in the corner. “I mean, he’s cute in that hipster nerd kind of way. But I don’t know...maybe…we’ll see.” She replies craftily. If I know my friend, she’ll have Mateo wrapped around her little finger by the end of the week.

             That night, I lay in bed; my body aroused beyond endurance. My legs move restlessly across the cotton comforter, my n*****s bead, and my folds are swollen as need courses through my body. I close my eyes and imagine Argent’s beautiful golden eyes gazing into mine as his lips settle over mine with firm pleasurable strokes.

             Unable to bear it another moment, I reach for my phone and shoot him a text.

 Lyria and I are thinking of taking self-defense classes. What do you think about Capoeira? I’d look badass making some dancing ninja moves.

             Before I change my mind, I send the text and wait.

             I know that it’s a long-shot that he’ll respond to my stupid text. To my surprise, his response comes a second later.

             I think you’d do great. However, I suggest starting with something a little less strenuous.

             My lips turn up with excitement as I read his response. I want to throw my arms in the air, dance around the room with joy, and shout. He texted me!

             What would you suggest then? Maybe I can rock out some Karate or Judo. Jacky Chan, watch out, Penelope is here!

             His response is a bit slower this time. I’m sure it’s because he’s laughing at the image I’m projecting.

             I think Judo would work for someone as small as you. I’ve taken several forms of martial arts if you’d like a lesson. I don’t know if you’d beat Jacky Chan yet, but I imagine you’d outshine him eventually.

             My smile widens at his response. He said he’d give us Judo lessons, which means that maybe I will see him again.

             I look through my phone and find a funny emoji of a cartoon breaking a board and send it to him.

             I’ve seen what a badass you are, so I wouldn’t turn you down for lessons. Is there anything else you suggest?

             Argent responds.

             It depends on what measures you take to be safe. What do you do when you’re at home?

             I bite my lip and consider a way to steer the conversation toward a more intimate conversation. Do I dare?

             Well, Lyria and I place one of our highest heels near the living room door in case we need to shank someone. I lock the door when I shower, and I’ve considered not sleeping n***d anymore. Lyria suggested we find a guy to stay the night, and I’m tempted because I like sleeping n***d.

             A blush spreads across my face at my last words. What is he thinking right now? I wish I could see the expression on his face when he reads the text. Is he wondering about him being the guy? The mere idea makes my heart skip a beat.

             Stomach-churning, I nearly fly out of my skin when my phone vibrates with a response.

             I like the idea of your heels. Hiding a weapon in plain sight is very smart. As for the n***d part, I’m sure anyone who broke in would stop in his tracks at the sight of your beauty. However, if sleeping n***d is so important to you, you should get a dog.

             I won’t pretend that I’m a bit disappointed by his response. I mean, he said I was beautiful, but he didn’t offer to protect me. God, I hate this feeling of uncertainty. Thankfully, the feeling doesn’t last when I receive another text.

             Are you n***d now?

             Anticipation coils in my stomach while I consider my response. Glancing down at my faded pink tank top and lacy pink thong, I lick my dry lips and sit up on the bed.

             Maybe I am. Do you sleep n***d? I reply flirtatiously.

             My heart thrums in my ears like a drum at the idea that he might be imagining me n***d. I feel like I’m drowning with every second that passes, and I receive no response.

             I don’t. In my business, that would be reckless. However, If you insist on sleeping unclothed, you should consider a protector or just wear something comfortable.

             This is it. This is the opening I’m looking for. Yet, I’m too nervous to say anything outright, so I hedge.

             I love the feel of the sheets on my skin because it’s so hot here. I guess a protector it is. Any suggestions?

             My phone vibrates with a response a minute later.

             You’re playing with fire, Penelope. He replies.

             He’s right. I am playing with fire. But it’s too late to go back, and I don’t think I want to. Before I can chicken out, I remove my shirt and panties and lift the nearly sheer sheet across my chest. Ruffling my hair, I spread it across my shoulders becomingly and lift my cell phone up. The camera clicks several times until I’m content that I took a good picture.

             Sifting through, I pick the best one. In the picture, my eyes are languid, my hair looks sexy and wild, and my lips are inviting. You can see the top of my shoulders and the outline of my breasts beneath the sheet. I don’t think about it for another moment. Instead, I send it and wait nervously for a reply.

             Minutes feel like hours at that moment. Did I push him too hard? I know he said it wasn’t a good idea, but I know he’s attracted to me. I felt it in the way he kissed and touched me from the first moment we met. I know he thinks this is some kind of hero-worship, but I truly am attracted to him. I’m beyond attracted.

             You’re so beautiful. He responds

             If I’m so beautiful, then why are you resisting me?  I answer swiftly

             He answers quickly this time

             Because I don’t want to hurt you. I’m going to be blunt with you, Pen. You deserve the truth. I was married with a child once, and I lost them. I loved Lauren, and my little girl was my light. After they died, I promised I would never be with anyone else. You’re so young and innocent. All I can offer is a night of s*x, and it would only be a night. You deserve better than that. You deserve a man who would love you and the gift you’d give him.

             Tears gather in my eyes at the thought of his loss. His honesty is a brutal hit to my romantic heart because I want him. But I also know that he’s right. I can never just be a casual roll. I’d want more, and he’d never give me that. However, it still doesn’t stop my traitorous body and heart from wanting him.

             I swallow my tears as I type my reply.

             I’m sorry for your loss, Argent. I know how much it hurts to lose the ones you love. The loneliness and the heartbreak are like a wound that will never heal. As much as it pains me, you’re right. I deserve a man who wants all of me. A man who is not afraid to love, and maybe someday I will find him…goodnight.

             His solemn words resonate through my head as I place my cell phone back on the side table.

              He doesn’t reply. I don’t expect him to, though. However, it doesn’t stop the tears that roll down my face. Thinking about it now, I realize that his rejection hurts because I might be a little bit more emotionally attached than I thought. I guess it’s good that he shut me down now rather than later. Because if I’m feeling this hurt now, it would have been worse after we slept together. No, things are best this way, even if my heart hurts with the idea that I will never get to be with Argent.