My EX's Mafia Twin

4. Ice also burns [Part 2]

"I wasn't exactly expecting a welcoming hug, but to cut off my hand?" Killian shakes toward the floor, shoving the glass into the back pocket of his worn jeans. "Ice princess, you're still just as cold."

"What the hell are you doing here?" I growl, moving backwards as he chases after me. My bare feet tread blood and burn with the glass I stepped on in the bathroom, but I keep moving blindly backwards, almost in circles as he walks towards me.

I stare at him, never letting my guard down.

Killian lifts his shirt, tears with his teeth at one end and rips off a long strip, never taking his eyes off me. Keeping his stride steady in my direction, he roughly wraps the fabric in his hand, squeezing his wound tightly and I keep backing away until I'm cornered in the corner of the room.

"You have to reconcile yourself to the idea of having me around, Katarina" he says slowly, stopping in front of me. "Demyan Ivanov will only leave you in my hands, he trusts no one else."

I laugh, this doesn't make any f*****g sense.

And I could cry with rage, but I refuse to do it.

I refuse to cry over this f*****g situation.

"Who are you?"

"His right hand."

I close my eyes, denying.

"What are you into, Killian?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"What did you do after that last day?"

"Do you really want to know?"

"Where did you go?"

"Do you really want to know?" He repeats again, his breath fans across my face, but I refuse to open my eyes, refuse to let him see the pain in them.

He's just gone... gone.

Gone.

And now this?

What the hell is going on?

"When I think you can't get any worse, you show up here, being the right-hand man of a f*****g mobster."

"Your father."

"He's not my father."

"He is."

"What are you doing, Killian?" I ask him in desperation, finally opening my eyes and looking at him.

Killian slowly details me and I detail him as well. My eyes fall on the scar on his face, but he doesn't even flinch as I stare at his terrible mark. It's as if he doesn't care, so insensitive to everything that it scares me. Even I don't reach that degree of disinterest.

"I did what I had to do to survive."

"No," I deny.

"Reid left me no choice" is his dispassionate answer, "you always knew I was the bad guy, is it really so surprising to see me here?"

"It can't be just a coincidence."

"Are you sure?"

"Don't f*****g play games with me."

Killian laughs, the sound echoing in my ears.

"You think I'm here for you, to save you?" He asks, tilting his face slightly in hurtful mockery. "I'm not your prince in shining armor, Frozen, I'm not my brother, I'm not here to save you... I'm here to sink you deeper."

"I do not believe you."

"I went against my own brother, my twin, no less, why do you think I wouldn't go against you?" He leans towards me, whispering in my ear, "You think you're so special, Katarina Volkov?"

I grind my teeth, chasing away tears.

"Of all the people out there, it can't be a coincidence that you're with my biological father."

"Coincidence? No, it's not a coincidence."

"What?"

"Who do you think gave him your DNA to confirm his paternity?"

I look at him, hurt, but struggling not to let him see how deeply this all hurts me.

"Why?"

"He was the pawn with the most power, the only option left to me after Reid shut the doors on me," he says simply."

I throw my head back, trying to read him, but his eyes show me nothing.

He never has.

This can't be true.

"Was it you who helped him get to me?"

"Ding dong, you got it right" he pulls my hand, but even though I struggle against him, Killian is stronger and holds me while he stares at the blood still gushing from my wound. "It was very easy, I just gave Demyan tools to have your family in his power. You were a fair exchange. You in exchange for keeping Elijah's secrets in the closet, coupled with a nice cash check. Even your mother didn't object."

"What?"

"Elijah has dirty business, very dirty business... I just put that information where it belonged."

I feel like I might puke.

"Son of a bitch."

"The rest was easy, easier than I thought it would be."

"I don't believe you."

He laughs, but his laugh is as empty as his eyes.

"Then don't believe me," he says, evidently not giving a s**t about my opinion of him.

I don't have to ask how the hell he managed to find out the truth behind me, behind my mother, behind my real father. Killian is a hacker, dammit, and even though Reid tried to deny it and ignore that fact all his life, I know exactly how far his reach goes and how he uses that to his advantage.

But for him to use my past, one I didn't even know about myself, to his advantage is something I didn't expect.

I thought I would never see him again.

But here he is, the one who pulled the strings to make all this happen.

I hate him.

I always hated him.

But today I hate him more than ever.

The whole world vanishes in front of me, my whole life is shattered.

My past, my present, my future.

Everything shatters, leaving me with nothing.

And the main culprit is here, right in front of me.

I lean toward him, struggle to grab the glass in his pocket, but he pushes past me and throws it out the window.

I want to kill him.

Or at least give him a serious wound.

So I look toward the bathroom door, look toward him and back toward the bathroom. My feet run there to wield another sharp glass that I can bury him with all my might, that's what I want, to wound him as deeply as he is wounding me.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, his arm lunges at me, levers me at the waist and pushes me roughly onto the bed.

I bounce against the mattress, my whole body does, especially my head which is thrown back against the hard headboard. I brace myself for the pain, but it never comes, instead my head bounces against something warm and protective. I slowly open my eyes to find Killian above me, his injured hand cradling my head, protecting me from the blow.

"Taking care of your merchandise?"

"Keeping you from killing yourself" he answers, staring at my lips, his eyelashes hiding his eyes a little from me. "With you dead, your father wouldn't pay me."

"Son of a b***h" I whisper with all the hatred I can muster.

I hit him with my arms and legs, hard, even my fist hits his face. He curses, but nimbly moves my body, until he has me tied to the f*****g bed like the sacrifice he and Demyan turned me into.

I roll, up, down, struggling for freedom.

"Let go of me."

He ignores me and moves to the bathroom, meanwhile I breathe wildly, ignoring both the physical pain and the emotional pain, concentrating on the rage.

When Killian returns, he brings a first aid kit. 2

I watch him as he drops to his knees on the floor in the corner of the bed, looking down at my bound hand to begin cleaning and cooking it with utmost dedication.

I grind my teeth, swallowing back tears.

I f*****g hate him, I hate him.

I always hated how easily Killian got to me, how easily he got under my skin, always showing that f*****g selflessness I so envied. And that's because while my insides were roaring with a thousand conflicting feelings wanting to explode towards him, Killian was always the same petulant, arrogant, apathetic motherfucker who didn't care about anyone but himself.

And seeing him there, healing me with concentration and dedication, giving me a little of what I secretly always wanted from him, but giving it to me in a totally wrong situation, breaks me a little.

And a stupid tear escapes from the corner of my eye.

I turn my face away in the opposite direction, blinking upward to chase away the rest of the tears. Just before that single tear falls onto the fluffy fabric of the mattress, Killian rises to his full height, leans toward me and moving my face with his jaw, kisses my tear, disappearing it into his mouth.

I close my eyes, inhaling his scent that expands in my lungs like a drug. His nose moves almost imperceptibly against my cheek and I can swear he inhales my scent too, but he moves away too fast, so fast that the thought disappears as quickly as it came.

And I feel so much on the surface, my heart feels so bruised and my soul so shriveled, that I put up no resistance as he moves away and begins to clean and heal my feet.

Killian works in a heavy silence that makes me uncomfortable, but he doesn't seem to mind.

I just want him to finish and leave, I just want him to let me deal with my own pain.

I count the seconds that feel eternal, only the sterile sounds of him cleaning and healing my feet can be heard. I struggle with all the emotions inside me, until he finally finishes and leaves without giving me another word.

I stare at the ceiling, there bound and at peace with this grateful solitude.

No tears come down, none come out.

I ache and feel like I'm dying inside, but without even trying, my exterior remains stoic, just as Elijah Campbell taught me how to handle pain since I was just a child.

I grew up to be this, a perfect ice princess.

But ice burns too.

And there, I swear to myself.

I will burn them all.