A Girl Nobody Wanted

6. My Only world

It was almost 8 when I arrived home after my shift. Both Shane's and Dad's cars were parked outside, but no one was in the living or kitchen. Both the kitchen and the living room was a total mess. Empty beer cans, soda bottles, and snack wrappers were all over the place. Books and magazines occupied a good portion of the living room floor.

I took a deep breath, trying to be calm. My leg hurt more than ever. "It seems I won't be able to give you a rest for a long time buddy" I muttered touching my aching right knee.

I knew they all might come down soon seeking for the dinner. So without going to my room and change I kept my backpack on the kitchen table and started preparing dinner.

"Where the hell you went? Don't you know I want my dinner ready by 8?" I heard my mom yelling, coming down the stairs.

"Just 5 mins mom... I am almost done"

"You and your 5 mins... you useless bi**h" she came and sat on the sofa turning on the television.

"What have you made for my lunch?" she again asked.

"Why mom? I prepared you some pasta. Didn't you eat?" I asked thinking she may have forgotten to check the refrigerator.

"Who call that piece of shit... pasta... no one can eat that... What do you think of me? you think I am a beggar to eat whatever the s**t you cook"

I didn't say anything. That is just normal. No matter how good the food tastes, she complains. I don't want any compliments, but why the hell she always complain?

I arranged the dinner table and shouted "Dinner Ready".

Just the normal routine, my dad and Shane need me shouting my brains out in order to get them to move from their dens.

They all were eating and chattering. Me... what do you think? I think you guess it right. I don't own a place in their dinner table.

So I was just cleaning the mess my mom has created all day.

Dad and mom were asking Shane about his day.

"Had lectures all day... all the lectures were just mind-blowing. I am feeling so tired" he said. yeah, really funny. A person who never goes to a lecture talks about how mind-blowing lectures are.

Mom and dad have no idea that Shane hardly goes to any lecture. In their eyes, Shane is so studious, so sporty, a multi-talented young man.

Then me... for my parents, I am good at nothing. All the good grades are purely out of luck.

When they finished dinner, I had cleaned the living room. They all came to the living room and sat on the sofa to watch TV. Mom and dad were watching TV, but Shane... his eyes are continuously glued to his phone. My parents think its really important to have some time together, as a family (I am not included in that family anyway...) every day. So Shane has to stay there even though he doesn't want to watch TV.

I went to the dining table to get the plates. They haven't left anything for me to eat, like most of the other days. There was enough food for all four of us. They have taken more food to their plates, more than they can eat. So in all their plates, there was leftover food. Their message was crystal clear. If I want to eat the food I cooked, I got to eat from their leftovers.

"There is nothing to worry, this is my life. I have been living like this in my entire life...Stay strong..." telling the part of me, who gets heartbroken every day by their wickedness, I started washing the dishes.

While I was washing them, one dish just slipped from my hand and fall into the sink with a loud bang. Thank God it didn't break.

"What you fu***ng break this time" mom shouted, walking towards the kitchen.

"Nothing mom... It didn't break..." raising the dish in her direction I said.

"you ignorant bi*ch... since it didn't break you think everything is okay? why the hell are you so clumsy. The only thing you have to is this cooking and cleaning, but you can't even do it properly... what is the use of your fu**ing life?" she kept on scolding me.

I knew that if I tell anything in reply, things will get worst. So I just turn around and continue washing. My leg was also paining like crazy. I wanted to go to my room as soon as possible and give my poor leg a break.

"you fu**ing turn away from me when I talk to you. How dare you bi*ch" without letting me even react, she pushed me from the back. I was not standing that steadily because of my leg. Reaching the maximum possible level of unluckiness, my right knee hit the pantry cupboard door!!!

I screamed with the intolerable pain. Both of my legs felt lifeless and I dropped to the floor, crying.

My screams made her even furious. She started to kick me mercilessly. I had no other option but to try my best to keep my right leg safe from her kicks.

When she feels, she has tortured me enough she stopped.

"I wish you never born" she finally said.

**********************************

I was lying on the floor and crying with the pain. I felt like cutting my right leg above the knee. I can't bear this pain... I just can't...

I thought I am going crazy. I couldn't think of anything clearly.

I got up after some time, by then they all have left the living room. They all should be getting ready to sleep peacefully after torturing me enough for today.

I sat on the kitchen chair and got my backpack. I searched for my pain killers anxiously and took all of them to my palm. I should take all of these!!! yes... I should...

Do you think I want to hurt my self, overdosing the pain killers? My life is pathetic and there is only pain living this life, but...Don't worry. I may not have the strongest mind, but my mind is strong enough to understand that I should not hurt myself for things other people do.

Then what is with all the pain killers? I am in intense pain. I can't bear that. I wanted to reduce my pain that's all.

I was about to take all the pain killers at once when I heard the faint vibration of my phone.

I took it out of the backpack and opened.

"Hope you had taken dinner princess. If not please go eat something. You have to take medicine as well." I was just staring at his message when my phone indicates a new message.

"It is killing me to see you in pain. I wish I could take all the pain from you. Please stay strong for a little bit more. I am going to make everything right for you my sunshine"

My sunshine!!! my heart melted. My eyes filled with new tears. But this time the reason for my tears was different. I felt a sudden urge to hear those beautiful words from his mouth while looking at those handsome eyes. I wanted so much to run to him, hug him tightly, and let him make me warm in his muscular arms.

"please... I don't think I can go through all these pain for much longer... please let me come to you...please let me feel the warmth of care and love for the first time in my life" I whispered, but didn't type it for him.

Anyway, I put all the pain killers back to the container, keeping just two of them in my hand.

"please go eat something" his words were echoing in my mind. I poured some milk for me and get some biscuits with cheese.

I went to the upstairs, took a wash and lie on my bed.

"I ate and took the pain killers" I typed and sent.

"Thank you very much for taking care of me today... Your texts mean a world to me..." I again typed and sent.

"Your texts mean a world to me" did I really send that as well. I sighed. What will he think of me... He may think I am so pathetic. He may think of me as a normal fangirl who is drooling over him. Why am I acting so stupid all the time?

I received another message.

I opened it when my heart beats double its speed.

"texting with you doesn't mean a world to me " yeah, I guessed. Who am I, when comparing to you... You may have so many other people texting you. You have your family, your friends. Everyone loves you.

My phone vibrated again.

"because you are my ONLY world" my heart stopped for a second, I forgot to breathe.

I couldn't remember anything that happened today other than his last text "because you are my ONLY world"

Do you think the same as I think? Is he... is he in love with me?