Hated By All, Loved By Four

:─❦•:The Dual Mate Conundrum pt 1:•❦─:

•❅──✧❅Sebastian’s P.O.V.❅✧──❅•

Did you know that werewolves have an ancient, unbreakable bond with the moon because our heightened senses are attuned to lunar phases? Legend has it that a werewolf's strength and abilities change subtly with the moon’s cycle—even on nights when we don't fully transform. During a waxing moon, our stamina and healing speed increase gradually, but on a waning moon, we experience heightened sensitivity to sounds and scents, making us excellent trackers. Only during the new moon do we lose these enhancements entirely, which is why werewolves often avoid traveling or fighting during this vulnerable time.

This is a fun fact for wolves of the Saint Valentine pack, at least it’s partly true. My therapist looks at me, his eyes focusing on every movement I make. There was something about being in the presence of vampires that made me feel like I was in the middle of a war.

Vamps will always be on top.

“How was your day, Mr Valentine?”

I have the routine memorized by now. I don’t actually share anything with this man. I doubt he actually wants to help me but instead gathers information to use against my dad. Out of my group of three, my father is the best. Maybe second to Mal’s dad, who was as much of a sunshine as his son.

I know some people are here because their families have given up, or their families want them to be perfect, but I’m here because the guilt of what happened a few years ago continues to haunt me and I can’t seem to let it go.

People will teach you self-defense, and other valuable lessons in this life, but they can never teach you how to deal with Survivor’s guilt. I guess it’s survivor’s guilt, but maybe it isn’t. I just feel really guilty. I hadn’t meant for that to happen.

I wish I could go back and undo it.

I obviously say none of this, instead staring at the dark figures that cling to the body of the therapist. He’s miserable. In this world, I’m not truly blind. I see darkness with my other eye. That means the darkness or the light that surrounds each person. It doesn’t work unless I activate it but I never turn it off.

People are full of so much malice. An evil entity that ties itself to our bodies. In the corner, I see my mother’s decaying form. She sneers at me, her judgmental eyes fixed on me. When I blink, she’s gone. Like clockwork every day, she’s not brave enough to speak to me. Afraid I’ll repeat my actions.

“Mr valentine?”

“Huh?”

“How was your day?”

“It was fine.”

He nods, jotting down something. I know what the diagnosis is. I’m not a fool.

“Are you sure? Have you been having nightmares? Finding it hard to sleep? To move? Does your eye still bleed?”

“At times. I’m sleeping fine. Malcolm and I share an apartment.”

“we’ve discussed this, Mr knight cannot be your solution to everything.”

“I find that hard to believe.”

He sighs. “i really want to help you, Mr valentine. I don’t want you to graduate from here feeling the exact same way you were when you first arrived. So try to be open with me, and try some of the exercises we’ve discussed.”

I nod like a programmed bot. “Okay.”

“Did anything new happen in your life?”

“I dreamt of the sea, and this school going underground.” his fingers immediately tense, and I noticed the darkness surrounding him growing. They’re not welcoming us, yet they’ve built their livelihood on taking care of our kind. So odd.

Such lies. This school is a foundation of lies.

“I see, did anything stand out to you?”

“No.”

“Is that the truth, Mr. Valentine?”

“Were you in my dreams?”

“No.”

“Then you shouldn’t be asking me that.”

“Okay, why don’t we do some meditation to clear the darkness from your mind? Remember your mantra. You have nothing to be sorry for. You are free of all guilt.”

He doesn’t know I feel guilty, he’s just taking a wild guess. He does this alot since I’ve chosen not to be honest with him. You can’t trust anyone in this school. Besides my trio. The meditation helps, I forget that I’m troubled and feel a sense of ease. And the sound of waves all settles in my mind as I shut my eyes and ignore the darkness.

Being blind... partially, it is kind of blind since I can’t see normal things with it. Where was I going with this? A sense of ease.

Recently, Malcolm, Kaito and I felt a connection out of nowhere to this girl. Tomato soup girl... well, Valeria is her name. I’m not sure what to make of her. I think she’s okay, she’s quite pretty but she’s an anomaly.

Having two separate mate bonds is unheard of. No, really it is unheard of. Who in the world has that? You can share the same bond with several people but to have two separate bonds? It’s kind of a vampire thing but even that is rare.

Why would anyone fate us with her? No hate, I just don’t get it. I barely understand why I, the saddest person I know, and Malcolm the happiest person in the world formed a soul bond. Now I’ve got to deal with a mating bond too?

Once the session was done, I headed out of the building. Down the road letting myself think while I walked.

A mate bond, and a soul bond. Two different bonds can be intense for someone like me. But a soul bond, while it is complete between two people, a fated mate bond can make that soul bond turn into something new. No one has a name for it because it has never happened.

Did you know that when a werewolf loses their mate, the emotional pain is so intense it can physically weaken them? Legends say that a werewolf’s bond with their mate is deeply woven into their spirit, and losing that connection leaves a scar that never truly heals. Some werewolves experience what’s known as the "Fading," where their strength and senses slowly diminish over time. The once-vibrant glow in their eyes dulls, and they may lose their natural resistance to cold and fatigue. Only in the presence of close family or a pack can they regain a flicker of their old vitality, but it’s fleeting—just a reminder of the loss they’ll carry for the rest of their lives.

I have a bunch of these. Some of them are happy, and some of them are sad. I like to know things about my kind. I don’t really care, I just like to share the fun facts with myself.

I was on my way to the apartment where I lived when I noticed the blonde girl was watching me again. She seemed flustered that I caught her, and she slowly raised her hands to wave at me. I’m not sure why I did this, but I walked up to her and asked if she wanted to watch a movie with me and Malcolm. She’s immediately taken aback, her jaw dropping and seconds later she lets out a little squeal.

Is there something on my skin?

Her eyes are like saucers as they stare at me and she nods absentmindedly. She looked like she was lost in my gaze, lost while looking at me. It was... interesting to say the least. My family aren’t exactly the most liked people in the world due to an incident that happened years ago. Like almost four decades ago. It seems so far long but people remember.

“Why are you around this area anyway?” I’m sure her apartment isn’t anywhere close to this place. I began walking again and she fell into the rhythm with me.

“I was walking without thinking. I do that alot. I got some bad news, you know... met my therapist for the first time. No one prepares you for how unnerving it is to be assigned a vampire therapist.”

That I could relate to. I’d been unhappy when I first found out I was going here. To be honest, I was the one to ask Malcolm to come with me. No, I said we should run off so I don’t end up here. Mal had said no for one reason, he wanted me to get better. And he said he’d make sure I wasn’t hurt, or tricked by one of the vampires. I had been so angry I told him I’d run off on my own, but Mal knew I wouldn’t. He knew, I knew, hell even Kaito who was being sent there knew the same thing. I needed to remove this guilt before it drove me to insanity.

So I caved.

Surprisingly, Valeria was okay talking about the lack of stars in the sky at night. And how she knew the sun was there but she couldn’t see it. Then she spoke about Osaka and wondered if she could see some beautiful parts of the town near the school. I listened halfheartedly. She reminded me of Malcolm in a way. In the way that they didn’t need me to talk.

Valeria, I know nothing about but it seems like talking helped her. Once we got to the apartment complex, we took the stairs. I don’t take elevators, I’m claustrophobic. There’s a story there, but really it was mostly my fault rather than hers.

Valeria didn’t mind, but she also didn’t like taking the stairs. By the time we got to the sixth floor, she was huffing and puffing and crawling. I found myself eyeing her strangely.

“Don’t mind me, I’m just not the athlete I used to be,” she says with a grim smile. The look in her eyes was quite like the one I see in myself sometimes in the mirror. It was a self-conscious look. Like she thought being exhausted from walking up six flights of stairs made her appear... strange? If that’s the right word.

“You used to be an athlete?” I say instead, not sure what else I could have said. It’s nothing against her, I’m just an odd person.

“Oh yeah, I used to be skinnier too.”

I crouched and patted her on the head. “I used to be a bit chubby.”

She looked at me from head to toe. “You must have been really cute, or is that just a normal thing you have? Great looks.”

I blush a little and smile. She was definitely a weird person. “Yeah I guess, but that was before I got an eating disorder.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

I shake my head. “Don’t be. I’m still cute, right?”

“Oh most definitely, mate. You’ve got this angel look going for you.”

There was only one door down this floor and it opened. Malcolm came out before I could say something. He was dressed in his loose gray pants and a black t-shirt he stole from Kaito.

“He does, doesn’t he?”

Valeria looked at him, she looked embarrassed and Malcolm gave me a wink. Not sure what that wink meant, I helped her up and thanked her for the compliment. It wasn’t strange for me to get compliments, I just don’t believe them. I only take compliments from Mal and Kai. Even then, it’s hard for me to accept it. It’s a me problem.

“I invited Valeria.”

Mal looked surprised. “You did?”

I shrug. “I figured, we’re befriending her. Why not include her in our movie nights?”

Mal smiled at me, and he stepped aside. Telling Valeria to come in I followed slowly behind her but I was stopped by a hand on my waist.

He tugged me into his body, grinning wolfishly like a man on the prowl. “Bad day with your therapist?”

He can read me well. I moved my hands up, wrapping them around his neck. I hum, inhaling his scent. It’s a spicy musk. Almost intoxicating enough to make you cough if you get too much of it. His fingers run up and down my back, trying to ease my stress.

“Are you comfortable with her being here?”

I smile, Malcolm is kind of the best person in the world. If something is bothering me or Kaito he’ll be the first to notice, the first to ask, and the first to give up on it. I clutched him tightly, letting my body soak in his presence. I didn’t say anything, but he could guess. So he walked us both back into the house.

If anyone deserves two mates, it’s probably Malcolm. I’d say Valeria is lucky, but she’s also fated with Kaito and me. We’re not exactly the best catch. But that’s not something I want to worry about. With Malcolm I only see brightness, and a little streak of darkness likely tainted by his friendship with two manic alphas.

Sometimes I wonder... I peered over his shoulder and spotted Valeria seated on the couch. I unlocked my other eye, and surprisingly.... the darkness surrounding her was intense. It was not what I expected from a girl who only seemed to be lacking a wolf. Seeing the amount of darkness on her body made something click in my brain.

Of course, she’s fated to us. Darkness is attracted to darkness.