The girl and her true love knight

Chapter 4

The whole situation was unbelievable. I married a guy who did not like my name. He had never mentioned it before. This is not the real Erick, I told myself. The real Erick is the guy I married. I squealed stealthily. He looked like a typical, tired husband. He wanted something normal, and I was not sure what he really meant by that.

I tried to breathe normally. We were almost in front of the restaurant - we could not afford to see that we had just had an argument. I was cold as ice.

- All right, tonight we will be Erick and Marie.

Agreed - he confirmed and relaxed a bit.

After that night, which ended well, after all, Erick started calling me Marie, even when we were alone. He said it would probably confuse me if Marie only called me when we were going out. I made sure the name change would come in handy. That way I will get rid of painful memories from the past. This way I can be whatever I want, a better person. Besides, Erick was glad, and the most important thing to me was that he be happy. I am Marie, I told myself, Marie, a married woman who lives in Dallas, works in Darlington.

Our marriage become like a gadget I had found out to operate. That I did not realize the way it definitely worked. I knew how to manage those things that kept the peace, meeting all those small and big demands to keep Erick in a good mood. When he was happy, he would be attentive, and when something was not to his liking, he would be depressed and angry. Sometimes it would be a few days before he returned to balance. His mood was like a thermostat controlling the temperature in our house. When we got to the first anniversary of our marriage, I realized that Erick’s bad days, for which I had to have an understanding and endeavored to correct every, even the slightest injustice, outweighed his good days. I had no idea how to help him and I thought it was all my fault. I knew that other people's marriages were not perfect either, but still, not everyone was burdened with their husband's needs all the time and had to walk on eggs. My parents certainly were not. On the contrary, it all revolved around mom’s needs and desires while dad would only show up from time to time to reassure her. Erick was still cooking with rage as far as my family was concerned. He became indignant at my father for now no longer giving us cash for the house. He persuaded me to call my dad and brothers and ask them to offer us what we need. He totally went crazy when I refused.

- You know that would not help,  I said, even though I knew it was not true. Regardless of my father, my brothers would give me whatever I needed. Especially Adam. We talked on the phone a few times and he would always ask me if we needed anything. I would always tell him that we needed absolutely nothing and that everything was great. I was afraid he would notice that something was wrong. If I said one word, everything will be revealed.

- Your dad will have to help us when we have children. He would be ashamed if his grandchildren lived in a shack. I guess that stingy carcass will give us something - said Erick.

What worried me was that Erick was willing to use the kids just to untie Knight's bag. I always told myself that I would have children when I was ready, but the last thing in a situation like this was a demanding and difficult child. It was enough for me that I had be with a demanding and difficult husband. I had never had trouble sleeping before, but now I have started having nightmares and that is why I would always get up totally exhausted the next day. I turned around a hundred times and woke Erick up so I would often go to sleep on the couch. I would shiver under the thin blanket. I started dreaming that my teeth were falling out or I was falling from a tall building.

- I was dreaming something totally weird last night,  I told Erick one morning while drinking coffee.  I dreamed that I was walking alone in the park and that my left leg fell off. Not a drop of blood, not a grain of pain. Like I was a Barbie. I was so upset and thought about what I was going to do without my leg, and then my right arm fell off under my elbow. I took it and I tried to take it back. I thought I needed that arm and that I needed to find someone to fasten it back. Then I am...

- Did you take the pill this morning? Erick interrupted.

I have been taking birth control pills since the very beginning of our relationship. 

- No, I did not, I always drink it after breakfast. Do you think my hormones cause the nightmare?

- No, I think you are causing the sea yourself. I ask because it is time for you to stop taking them. We should have children while we are young. he said