The Clingy Fiancee

Chapter Two

If I had enjoyed my previous month by lavishly spending money on myself, this month, I did the exact opposite.

I had never felt so hollow before – I had always been a sensitive girl when it came to people who loved me, so I usually didn’t give a s**t about others who didn’t care about me. And there only a handful of people that mattered to me; out of them, I could say that my mother was the only one who hadn’t hurt me in any way.

I had heard, seen and read people describing heartbreak as a ghastly thing, a time when your body refused to function and your heart refused to beat happily. The time went slowly, and your body demanded for nothing – knowing that the soul was so shattered that it needed healing.

I had never understood it then. I always thought people were exaggerating the numbness, the pain in the chest, but the past month had given me enough of a reason to believe in every single word.

I worked from home – the only sane thing I was doing, because come on, I needed the money. Other than that, I didn’t leave my house, starved myself for days and cut off all kinds of communication from the outside world. The air inside the house was stale – the windows and doors hadn’t been opened in what felt like ages and I hadn’t taken a bath, too.

I didn’t care, really. Everything was fine as long as the noise inside my head was quiet. Everything was fine as long as I kept my mind blank, because thinking meant remembering, and remembering meant missing.

And damn, I missed him so much.

Was it just me? Wasn’t he missing me the way I was missing him? Was I the only one suffering here, while he was enjoying his freedom and bachelorhood? He must be feeling something, right? We had been together for the past seven years. He had known me for ten years. Didn’t he feel hollow, that void in his chest that could only be filled by the one he lost?

The one who mattered?

I laughed at that thought, and then laughed some more till I was laughing hysterically. I kept laughing, yet the laugh sounded fake and hollow to my own ears. But I didn’t want to stop laughing, because I knew if I did, it would give way to crying and I had promised myself that I had had enough of being weak and pathetic.

Someone knocked on the door, but I didn’t give a f**k. He could keep knocking for all I cared and because this house wasn’t mine. The knocking grew incessant and the noise slowly started to irritate me.

“What the f**k?” I hissed and stormed towards the door, only to be shocked to see the faces of my Mother and my best friend, Mehak – the one who owned this house.

My mother immediately erupted into tears while Mehak looked at me, head to toe, with complete and utter shock.

“Oh God, Myra,” my mother sobbed, “Look at what you’ve done to yourself.” She cried, pulling me into a warm hug.

I didn’t return it – the warmth of the hug scared me because I knew I would cry again – I just clenched my fingers tightly around the doorknob and said nothing. My Mumma was here, my best friend was here, but I was scared to be happy because I was scared to feel again.

“What happened, Myra?” Mehak looked horrified and reached out to hug me, too, “You’ve never been like this. Did Neil do anything?”

Just his name acted like a trigger and my heart squeezed in pain, my stomach churning. Why couldn't they pretend as if he didn't exist for a few moments? Come to think of it, why was I overreacting to just his name? I usually got over things pretty quickly, processed it and let it go; then why was I taking two f*****g months to get over him?

Mehak ignored the two of us and barged into the house that was hers. And she carefully eyed the mess I had made out of it. She then looked at me while I tried to face her through my embarrassment. She huffed loudly after a moment, and then stomped away to open every single door and window to let air into the house.

"Can anyone tell me what has happened? I was expecting a joyful ambience and a shy Myra... But she is here...and in this condition. What happened to her, Auntie?" Mehak asked my mother. She probably thought that I couldn't speak to her without having a nervous breakdown.

"He broke off the engagement with her." Momma told her. I liked how she didn't act as if it embarrassed her that her daughter was dumped like a tissue.

"What?!" Mehak screeched, and had I had been more responsive, I would have had covered my ears. "Why am I getting to know about this now?"

"We got to know just last month, that too because he had called us to ask for her whereabouts. I had no idea she was wasting away herself this way the past entire month. I would've come sooner." My mother said regretfully, "And then she had an argument with her father, too."

"Oh great, he just had to worsen things, didn't he?" Mehak rolled her eyes as she gritted out the words. "Well you know what? I don't care, Myra. I want you and my house clean ASAP, and then we are going to have a serious talk.“

I looked at her and nodded. I was glad she wasn't pitying me.

***********************

"Myra," Mehak's gentle voice caressed my ears and I cherished the feeling of having my best friend around me again. Ever since she had moved to the US for higher studies, I had missed her too much, "You've never let any thing trouble you this much. Then why let a dumbass rule your life now?"

I sighed, not knowing how to really explain her things.

"It isn't the same. He was never something ordinary to me... I don't know how to tell you, but this time everything's different - I cannot pick myself up no matter how much I try to. I f****d everything up—"

"—No you didn't and don't let anyone tell you otherwise." She scolded me. "He f****d up everything, whatever you had for so many years just because he couldn't give up his independence for your sake. I would rather say Good Riddance. At least now you know he isn't and would never be the dependable kind of man."

My mother frowned at her, obviously not liking how she had put him in bad light. Mehak was un-apologetically blunt, something I loved about her, and most of the times, I was like her.

Was she right, though? Was he really not as dependable as I had thought him to be? Did I really force myself so much on him that he grew tired right after proposing to me?

"Hey, sweetheart." I woke up when I felt a kiss pressed against my temple.

"Come on, we're here."

There was something different about Neil today. Ever since we had woken up in the morning, he had been hyper and everywhere in the house. I was pampered like a baby, and it was really cute to see the love of my life getting so excited over my day off.

Then he had said he would take me out for dinner in the evening, but he had worn me down thoroughly with his insatiable love making in the afternoon. We went to the roof of the restaurant, and I was surprised to find it empty. There was a small orchestra playing cheerful songs and I loved the atmosphere right away.

I had fun over dinner, and I had to admit that dates with him never became boring. If I had ever thought that I would get used to all of this pampering one day, then I was so wrong.

"It's been seven years since we have been together, right? Right since you were seventeen, I remember."

"I remember, yes." I smiled at him, my heart beating for him as I played his words to me over and over again.

"It's going to be the rest of our life, someday," He said, his tone growing serious and I gasped. We had never talk about lifelong commitment. I had always thought talks about marriage and distant futures together would scare him off.

I didn't mean that I was more committed to the relationship than he was; it was just that I wanted him to come around himself than him feeling obliged.

"And you, Myra Bhatt, I love you so much and I want to make you mine, officially. I want your name to be Myra Bhatt Singhania, and I want you by my side as long as I live. Marry me, Myra?"

Guess what? 'As long as I live' didn't last so long since he kicked me 'from his

side' quite long ago.