Once Burned

Chapter 1-3

“Did you sleep all right last night?” she asked, forcing a tenderness she didn’t feel into her voice.

“Yeah, I guess.” Noah paused, and when he spoke again, he was more cordial. More her little boy. “It was nice not having to share a room with Spencer.”

“I bet it was.”

“How come we have to live with him and his mom, anyhow? He’s such a butthead.”

And… there was Max again. “You know why.”

“Yeah. We’re too broke to afford our own house. But we’re not too broke for you to go to Montana for a week and a half.”

“Noah Steven Ulrich!” Lindsay barked. She heard her mother utter the exact same on the other end of the line.

“That was an incredibly rude thing to say to your mother!” Debbie Miller snapped. “Give me that phone and get your backside to your room right now!”

Lindsay flinched at the c***k of a door slamming.

“I don’t know what’s gotten into him,” her mother said. “That was absolutely uncalled for.”

“He’s right,” Lindsay replied, her voice catching on the lump in her throat. She swore under her breath and wiped furiously at her eyes to stop the tears from spilling down her cheeks.

“No, he’s not. Your best friend is getting married tomorrow, and Evie deserves to have you at her wedding.”

“It won’t take ten days for me to get her married off. That’s a lot of money I’m not at work to make.”

“Maybe so, but even if you worked every single one of those days, it wouldn’t be enough for you to move in to your own place, so he’ll just have to get over it.”

Lindsay sniffed and tried to subdue the pounding guilt, but it was a difficult meal to swallow. This had been her life the last eight years, so she should be well used to it by now, but it never got any easier. It just ground her down a little more with each passing year, and it would only get worse as Noah got older and the things he needed got more expensive.

“Not to add any more to your plate,” her mother said, “but Noah told me today that Peewee football is starting up soon, and he’d like to play again this year.”

“Crap, I forgot.” This time, Lindsay let the growl out. Speaking of expensive needs…. “None of his gear from last year is going to fit.”

“Max is going to help with that, right?”

Lindsay snorted. Max had been less than thrilled that Noah wanted to play football last year and had gone so far as to blame Lindsay’s “obsession” with the sport for Noah’s desire to play it. She could lie and say she needed the money for school clothes, since her parents weren’t going to let her talk them out of paying for those, but she couldn’t bring herself to do it. She wasn’t that person. “I’ll call him and ask.”

“I’d do it right now. Otherwise you’ll find an excuse not to ask. Better yet, don’t ask him. Tell him he needs to support his son.”

Sighing, Lindsay admitted that her mother was right. “If I get it out of the way now, maybe I’ll be able to enjoy my trip.”

“Exactly. I need to go deal with my grandson, so I won’t keep you any longer. Love you, baby.”

Lindsay could hear the wink in her mother’s playful tone and smiled despite the torrent of despair. “Love you, too, Mama. When Dad gets off work, tell him I love him, too.”

After she hung up the phone, she allowed herself a few moments to regain her composure before she dialed her ex’s number. Several deep breaths were evidently not enough to quell the anxiety, but she made the call anyway. Just get it over with.

“Hello?”

She flinched at the sound of his voice with the familiar jolt of loathing and longing. “It’s Lindsay.”

“Where the hell are you calling from? Four-oh-six?”

“Montana. Evie is getting married tomorrow.”

“And she’s in Montana?”

“Yes,” she replied, her jaw clenching.

“I can’t say as I’m surprised the little pudgeball had to move all the way to Montana to find herself some blind cow’s a*s to take pity on her.”

Lindsay’s hand twitched. If he had been standing in the same room instead of four hundred miles away, she would have slapped him for that. “I see you’re still pissed that she called you an insufferable a*s, but I guess the truth hurts.”

“I presume you didn’t call me to exchange pleasantries, so just put Noah on the phone already.”

“He’s not here.”

“What do you mean he’s not there?”

“He didn’t want to come, so he’s staying with my parents.”

Silence met her response, and Lindsay had plenty of time to ponder the accusations he’d surely make.

“Why wasn’t I consulted about this?”

“I didn’t consult you because I had to beg you to take him for a week not so long ago, This time, Lindsay let the growl out, and then you couldn’t send him back to me fast enough.”

“It was a bad time. I had all those city planning meet—”

“Bullshit. It’s always a bad time, Max. You just don’t want to be troubled with the reminder that you, Mr. Perfect, screwed up once upon a time. Say what you want about me, but at least I’ve shouldered the responsibility of raising our son without bitching about every little inconvenience.” Lindsay drew a deep breath and plunged ahead without giving Max time to form a rebuttal. “And since we’re on the topic of responsibility, Noah needs new football equipment because he’s outgrowing everything. Do you think you can help out without turning it into a battle like you always do?”

“You know how I feel about him playing football, Lindsay.”

She gripped the phone so tightly her fingers ached, willing her voice to remain level. “He wants to play, and he’s good at it, too.”

“What if I refuse to help pay for his gear?”

“Then I’ll find a way to pay for it myself.”

“You would, wouldn’t you? What if he gets hurt, Lindsay?”

Pulling the phone from her ear, she started at it, certain she hadn’t heard him right. But no, she had. His words echoed in her mind again and again with each thud of her heart. Nope. There was no keeping a leash on her anger now.

“Funny how you never give a s**t about Noah until you want to malign me,” she snarled. “So f**k you, Max. I’ll find a way to pay for his gear and I’ll make sure he knows you refused.”

“I didn’t ref—”

She slammed the receiver down on the base and jumped to her feet, then paced the length of the bed for almost a minute, flexing her fingers at her sides to keep them from curling into fists. Rage trembled through her. Damn him. He had a singular talent for infuriating her, but right now, she had to put on her happy face—the one she had perfected waiting tables and could affect without giving anyone around her a clue to the turmoil beneath it. She located a small mirror hanging on the wall beside the window and stared at her reflection, willing her expression to smooth.

I am strong. I am honest. I am enough.

She repeated those thoughts to herself until most of the anger had left her eyes. With fury still seething, it would be impossible to totally erase it, but this would do.

Turning away, she surveyed the loft and set herself focus on the series of tasks she needed to tackle to prepare for Evie’s wedding rehearsal and the dinner to follow. First, figure out to wear. Then freshen up her hair and makeup.

Opening her suitcase, she pulled out a lavender sundress with a hem that was a perfect balance between flirty and innocent. She changed out of her travel-wrinkled jeans and tank top into the soft dress. Her ivory lace ballet flats would go well with it, so she dug them out and slipped her feet into them. Then she took out her makeup case and hairbrush and stepped over to the small mirror again. After applying minimal eye makeup and lip gloss—forgoing the more elaborate makeup she used for work—she ran her brush through her long, deep red hair and decided to pull half of it back with a silver floral-patterned barrette to keep it out of her face for the day’s activities. Glancing over herself, she pronounced herself presentable for the informal rehearsal.

“All right, Evie,” she called as she descended the stairs. “I’m ready to see this gown of yours.”

Evie appeared through the door to the master suite still dressed in her jeans and T-shirt. The rehearsal was supposed to be an informal affair, and Lindsay would probably be a tad overdressed, but hopefully that would help her keep a lid on things and remind her of what was important tonight.

“Come on in.” Evie jerked her head toward the master suite. “I’ve laid it and your dress out on the bed.”

It wasn’t difficult to make the appropriate compliments about the bride’s dress; with its cascade of red silk roses, the gown was stunning and the cut would flatter Evie’s curvy build. Lindsay’s and Skye’s bridesmaids dresses were beautiful, too. The red, mercifully, was on the blue side and would complement rather than clash with Lindsay’s deep copper hair, but she couldn’t resist teasing Evie regardless.

“I still say I’m going to look like a tomato.”

“You will not, and once you try it on you’ll see I’m right. But that’ll have to wait,” Evie retorted. “It’s time to head over to the main ranch house for the rehearsal.”

As if on cue, Skye strode into the room with her camera bag over her shoulder. “You ladies ready for this?”

“Yep. Let’s get this thing done so we don’t screw up the real deal tomorrow,” Lindsay replied.

If Evie noticed anything strange in her friend’s choice of words, she gave no sign. Skye, on the other hand, had always been the more intuitive and regarded Lindsay with a quizzical frown. At Lindsay’s subtle headshake, Skye nodded and kept her questions to herself.

They piled into Evie’s SUV and headed over to the main house of the C-Diamond Ranch. It was a sprawling, two-story affair laid out much like Evie’s place but at least twice the size. As Lindsay listened to the plans for tomorrow—how, where, and when everyone would be getting ready—she watched Skye practice her craft, at once proud and jealous that her best friend had been free to pursue her dreams while she’d had to set hers aside.

“How is this going to work? You being the maid of honor and the photographer?” Lindsay asked to distract herself.

“Evie found me an assistant—a college kid. She promises me he’s good.”

Lindsay tipped her head to her friend’s camera bag. “You’re going to trust him with your baby?”

Skye shrugged. She leaned in close while Evie was chatting with the minister who would be performing the ceremony. “Are you all right?”

Not trusting her voice, she only nodded.

They walked through the ceremony a few times, and all the while, Lindsay managed to keep her smile in place and make friendly small talk, but irritation continued to gnaw at her. She suspected it would come bursting out of her at some point and prayed she could contain it at least until she was alone tonight with Skye and Evie after the rehearsal dinner. Why did she keep letting Max do this to her? And why, oh why, after he’d spent years making it perfectly clear that he had long ago lost all interest in her, did her heart still jump when she heard his voice or saw him?