Taming the School Heartthrob

THIS ACADEMIC YEAR is messed up. Certainly so. But I’d still cross my fingers and wish it wouldn’t be the worst. Please. Please. Ever since I started high school, I have known I wanted to be remarkable enough to be remembered. Throughout the years, I devoted my time to acing my subjects by gaining the highest scores in all tasks. I participated in class discussions and made sure I was part of not one, but several extracurricular activities. Now that I am in the last year of Senior High School, this is my last chance to prove myself. Or maybe my only chance to gather the outcome of my hard work. So, make sure that I smile when I need to; I show kindness when I have to. And I thought people would appreciate me for that. My parents, per se, would praise me during small talk at the dinner table but instead argue about other trivial things that always have to do with finances. It was one of the things that had grown on me, not because I was already used to hearing their arguments, but because I already felt numb, and accepted it as part of my chore: listening. It turned out, I'd been disappointed. Like right now. Despite how I desperately wanted these people to just see me beyond my facade—I will just keep on hoping. With a fake smile reaching my eyes, still, a little bit of grimace managed to escape from the side of my lips. “You don’t get to decide solely just because you are the president of the class!” I stopped talking and halted mid-step, then I stared at my classmates in front of me, scanning the entire classroom to look for the owner of the annoyed voice that shouted seconds ago. “What about that?” I said, trying to keep my cool. “You’re selfish!” shouted another. My brows arched. “How so?” I inhaled my anger and released an exhale, then displayed a smile. I will get through this day; it was already tough enough. “You make decisions that will only benefit you! What? Another quiz the next day to compensate for our previously low scores? Are you sure you’ll ace it? You are not even the smartest!” The entire classroom fell into deafening silence. I couldn’t muster to keep smiling. I felt the rush of anger from my shoulders to my neck and to my cheeks. I am flustered with anger at this point, but I can’t show that. I definitely can’t break in front of everyone. I stood in front of everyone. Not moving, not even able to open my mouth and explain my side. Footsteps nearing the door broke the silence. Then a guy walked inside the classroom, wearing a school uniform like everyone else. But there was something in him that would make you squint your eyes just by looking. His polo was unbuttoned, revealing his inner shirt and the ID chord bearing the school name hung messily around his neck. “That’s right. Y’all stop all the commotion, an honorable man is about to take heed.” A grin on the guy’s face replaced my smile as he kept walking. By then, all the possibilities that I’d still be able to regain my smile disappeared. He was holding onto one side of his backpack strap, unbothered by the way he carried his almost empty bag with only his wallet and cell phone inside, I suppose. It was what everyone noticed and said. His bag was not much of use if you asked me. Like his existence in this class, he seems to be rather showing his relevance this school year by meddling with arguments he wasn’t even part of. This guy… Our eyes met and I saw that playful shine in his eyes which made my blood boil even more. “Yes, Ms. Celestine Trina Yue?” He sat on his chair but never left my gaze. Like teasing me and challenging me at the same time. “Well, she just said what’s right. You’re not the smartest in this class. After all, everyone is aware of who that person is.” He laughed. Then everyone followed. This crazy piece of s**t. I thought all the rumors about him weren’t all true. That he can be insensitive and nonchalant but never to the extent of being a bastard. What a disappointment that all the bad things about him came out true to his real nature. He kept his grin as he settled on his seat, legs wide open and palms lazily tapping his desk. “You pretend you are but we all know you just wanted to please our lecturers. Without your pretentious smile and good-for-nothing cunning ploy, you wouldn’t be where you are now.” Tears started pooling from my eyes as I tried to speak but my voice came out a squeak. Words disappeared in my throat. My stomach sank. I stopped breathing for a while to endure the pain and not feel it piercing deeper into my ego. Like I was shot by an arrow without me knowing—helpless and defenseless, I took in the shot of sharp words. Apparently, we are slaves to the emotions brought upon by hurtful words from others. I hate that I am. I just have to get through Senior High School. I swallowed hard. “A-actually,” I paused to compose myself. I can’t cry. I shouldn’t. I gazed at him once again, trying to remember his name. Imprinting his features inside my head, a playful smile, his hair falling flawlessly to the side of his forehead and his silver necklace peeking through his inner shirt. I could get a glimpse of his chest and he never felt bothered about that. Instead, he gazed back at me, his chin up and his brows shifting up then down. I will remember you. And this day. I didn’t falter until I saw a scar just right above the side of his chest. I blinked twice and stared at his face, only for me to absentmindedly focus on his jaw. Quite sharp and well-defined though his physique… well, he’s not skinny. I grimaced before my thoughts ran wild. I had to do that—memorize how this jerk looks so that when I was unfortunate enough to meet him again anywhere on the campus, I would know how to treat him, making sure it would be the same as how he has treated me today. Taking a deep breath, I prepared to speak once again. “Actually, our adviser told me about that to inform all of you. I didn’t make the choice in the first place.” Before anyone could blabber and argue about what I said, the surroundings became silent as our first lecturer for the day arrived. I fixed my hair and then glanced at some of my hateful classmates to give them my sweetest smile. This was not the kind of being seen that I would have preferred for this academic year, but what choice do I get? I sat still in my chair and didn’t dare to look at the chairs behind me where the meddling guy was sitting. But why did I still picture his grin in the back of my mind? *** The last subject for the day concluded and so I immediately grabbed my things and walked near the door. I glanced at my watch and couldn’t help but smile, washing away the grim thoughts that wandered inside my head during class hours. I could feel the calmness of the wind when I walked towards the corridor and reached the wide open field of the campus. I exhaled. Then I waved a hand when I saw a familiar figure facing me not quite far from where I was walking. “Daniel!” I shouted as I jumped a little. He extended his arm and waved back at me. I stopped walking by the time he ran towards my side. “Hey.” “Hi,” I said, this time my smile wasn’t forced, not trying. It was genuine. With just a glance at this person, I felt like I could endure all the pressure in the world. “Do you have practice?” I asked as he wrapped his arms around me. I smiled while glancing at him doing that. The same smile that I had wasn’t present on his lips but his gaze and touch felt light and comforting. No words were needed, I immediately knew he had a good day. He’s been my boyfriend for 3 months now, yet I felt like I have been together with him for years. “Nope. It will be moved tomorrow.” “Great, then you can walk me home.” He caressed my hair. “Our driver is waiting for me outside.” “Ow… I’ll walk myself home then.” “I can tell Roger to drop you off at your house.” “But what if he tells your parents?” “No, he won’t.” “You can’t be so sure,” disappointment loomed in my voice. “What if they become suspicious?” “There’s nothing wrong with what we’re doing.” “Nothing wrong with what we’re doing—but with me?” “Your parents wouldn’t want to see you with me.” “Trina, you’re smart. And pretty, if I may add.” I was about to say something when my bag slipped over my shoulder and my things fell on the ground. Daniel leaned down and picked up my things with me. I grabbed my notebooks and he got a few of my pens. But something was missing… I glanced at my back but nothing more was scattered on the ground. My calculator… I saw Daniel glancing at his phone when it rang. “It’s probably your family driver calling,” I said. “You should answer.” “Trina, I’m afraid I have to go.” I pursed my lips, then smiled. “It’s okay. I got this.” “Are you sure?” “Yup—” nodding without second thoughts. “Be safe.” I nodded once again. When Daniel left, I immediately returned my things to my bag and ran back to our classroom. Only to find one person inside. I went inside without talking or making any noise. I glanced at the desks and under the chairs. My calculation is nowhere to be found. “Looking for something?” A male classmate shot up a question. I am not so familiar with his face or his name, so I just nodded. Worry was evident on my face—my forehead creasing and my brows wrinkling. Compared to the jerk earlier with a gruesome attitude, this classmate didn’t give me a disapproving look. Instead, he was giving a gentle yet curious stare. “Could it be that you’re looking for a calcu—” “Yes! A calculator!” I exclaimed, almost excited upon knowing that I had left my calculator. Maybe he saw it and decided to keep it for the meantime. “Right. Ceasar has it.” I paused. “C-ceasar?” I asked. Not so sure about my assumption. “The guy who interrupted you in the morning.” My excitement dropped and I palmed my forehead. Why would that jerk have an interest in my calculator? The male classmate probably saw the worry in my eyes, so he added, “He said he’ll return it to you tomorrow. He’ll keep it safe.” I nodded to the kind classmate, half-assured. “Thanks.” That jerk… he better keep my calculator safe.