The Alpha's Choice

Chapter One

-Jake’s P.O.V.-

To start over is not as easy as choosing a new path and walking it in hopes of a better future. It’s like a push and pull. I try moving forward, forgetting the lull of the past, the lull of her, and then there is a sound that sounds almost like her voice, a blue that’s almost like the color of her eyes, a dream that seems almost too real.

Almost

That’s the key to it all. That almost. Because I turn and there is someone else behind me, I look closer and the blue is too washed out, not quite as alive.

I wake up and she is always gone.

“I think that ending marked your new beginning.”

I wonder if it really did because I can’t quite escape the past. My feelings are too attached to it. All that love, that regret.

“Whatever will you do with it Alpha?”

“I don’t know.”

The words come out before I can stop them, and the girl beside me stirs. I hold in a curse as her eyes blink open. It seemed she hadn’t been as deep into her slumber as I’d hoped.

“Jake?” Her gaze finds mine, concern flashing through her eyes as she takes in my state. Ellie, that’s her name. She has a nice smile and kind eyes. I think that’s what drew me in tonight, the kindness in her eyes. They were the wrong color, though. Brown, rather than blue. Not grey either, though those eyes were rarely kind. “What time is it?”

“I have an early morning,” I blurt out, excusing myself. “I’ll see you another day.”

I am lying again. I chose a place far away to avoid ever seeing her again.

“Wait I-“

The door slams shut behind me before I can hear the rest of her sentence.

Once outside the room, I let myself breathe for the first time. It’s a long, drawn-out breath that leaves me in an instant. There is something draining about pretending. It seems as if I am always waiting for that moment of recognition, for that connection that never quite clicks.

I am always in a constant state of anticipation.

Sighing, I begin moving away from the door. The shock of my quick exit must be fading off by now. It’s best if I move to avoid any confrontation.

“Was she not to your liking, Alpha?”

The silky voice travels up my spine, and I still. “How’d you know I was here?”

Athena smiles, eyes flashing mischievously. “You frequent this place more than most. I come from time to time, hoping to catch a glimpse of you.”

“You miss me?” I lean back into the wall, folding my arms over my chest.

“Maybe.”

I raise a brow. “Hard to believe, given how rarely you visit.”

“I am not one to infiltrate wolf territory for sentimental reasons.” I give her a look, and she hides a smile with a flip of her hair, a habit of hers I’ve become accustomed to. “Anymore, anyway.”

“No exceptions?”

This time she doesn’t hide her smile. “None.”

I fall back, pressing my hands to my chest as if I’ve been hit. “Ouch, you are awfully cold.”

“I am sure you’ll find someone to keep you warm.” Her eyes flash, and I find myself looking away. “What other things have you been up to?”

“Not much,” I mutter, eyeing the door I just walked away from. “The pack is still in the process of recuperating, so I don’t leave the territory a lot.”

“Except for when you are here,” she says.

“Except for when I am here.” I lift my gaze to hers again. “Missing me can’t be your only motive to approach me, can it?”

She shakes her head. “No, it is not.” When I urge her to go on, she continues, “Witch problems. It seems something is happening around here. Or something will happen. I’ll be around for a while.”

I nod along. “That’s nice. Why don’t you-“

Athena pulls on my hand suddenly, and I stumble after her. We move just around the corner as a voice calls out, “Zack?”

Athena raises a brow at me. I shrug. “I didn’t want to tell her my actual name,” I whisper. “It was supposed to be a one-time thing.”

“Just like us?” She asks. Her hand is still wrapped around my arm.

“Can’t exactly blame me for that one,” I tell her. “You were using me.”

“Very fair.” She lifts a hand and taps me on the chin. “I hope you are successful in your rebuilding. I just wanted to ask you to communicate with me if something out of the ordinary happens.”

“Only if?”

She smiles, eyes shifting to the room I stepped out of. “Yes, only if. Enjoy the rest of your night.”

--

Finding the keys to my office turns out to be harder than I expected. Zack and Ashley seemed to be working together in their deviousness.

I open the door, just as I hear what seems to be a war cry and someone’s body crashes into me. I let out an ‘oof’ as the door opens and we both fall into the room gracelessly.

“Zack,” I breathe out, cursing internally. He was getting better at catching me unaware. That or I was too damn tired nowadays to bother.

“I told you I didn’t want to see you in the office tonight,” Zack tells me, getting off me with a displeased look on his face. “The pack won’t fall apart if you enjoy yourself for a moment.”

“I did.” I allow my gaze to flicker elsewhere. “It was fun. Somewhat.”

“Huh.” Zack smiles, albeit a bit tightly. “Well, at least that’s progress. Sorry man, you just haven’t gone out much since that weekend. And that was four months ago.”

“Don’t remind me.”

I still remember arriving to the beach, hoping to join the vacation mood Zack had been preaching to me about. The pack had settled for the most part by that point, and I was able to slip away without much of a prior notice.

Allison had been the one to greet Zack and me. She welcomed us as pleasantly as you’d expect from her, then told Zack where he could find Eliza. Zack had thanked her and left, not before patting me in the back and telling me to enjoy myself of course.

“There is sunblock in the dining room table in case you need any,” Allison commented, eyes hidden beneath shaded glasses. “I’ll be at the pool. Enjoy your stay.”

I thought of asking where Claire was just out of habit, but Allison was already heading outside. She had become quieter since the war ended. Less prone to keep a conversation going. I wasn’t sure whether it was something exclusive to me as the man who had killed her mate, or whether she simply was grieving in her own way.

Either thought saddened me a bit.

I grabbed the sunblock from the table and made my way to the beach. The sun was at its peak today. I almost reconsidered and went back inside, but upon realizing how long it’s been since I’ve received proper sunlight, I simply continued walking.

Claire is sitting by the shore when I get there, wet hair splayed across her back. She is wearing a bikini, and I have to take a moment before I approach her without staring.

“Nice castle you got there,” I say, keeping my eyes on her face stubbornly.

Claire jumps at my voice, then she looks up, eyes wide. “Jake, you came.”

“I did.”

She smiles. “Good. I was hoping you would.” She fills up a bucket with more wet sand. “We all deserve a vacation after what happened.”

I nod, then look towards the ocean as I hear something. In the distance, I notice a tiny figure. “Wait,” I pause, “is that Landon?”

Claire’s smile brightens and she lets out a laugh. “Yeah.” She follows my gaze. “I told him to find me a shell.”

She stands up, walking into the ocean a bit before raising her hands to her mouth. “Landon!!!”

I notice the figure move, and I can just barely make out Landon’s features as he waves.

I wave back awkwardly. It seems as if I am intruding into their space even with how large the beach is. However, I ignore that thought for a moment, telling myself this is the last time.

I glance at Claire, taking in her smile, her face. It would be a while before I see her again. She and I no longer had a bond between us, and we needed to live our lives the way we were now meant to: apart. Otherwise, I won’t be able to move on.

Right now, though…

“I’ll build a better castle than yours,” I declare before sitting down.

Claire’s gaze immediately snaps back, eyes narrowing. “Is that a challenge?”

“It is.”

“Bring it on, then.”

“One would think you’d be dedicating yourself to other activities now that the pack is settled,” Zack says, “What are you even nitpicking at?”

“Important strategies,” I lie. Truth is that peace had lessened the conflict within the pack significantly. Not to mention that the absence of Elora, who was a traitor, helped dissipate a lot of the tension. I spent my time at the office because I needed something to focus on, even if it was something menial.

“You can say that to someone else who is dumb enough to believe you.” Ashley walks into the room casually and sits down right next to Zack. “I recognize that paper on your desk from the past two weeks. You’ve been on it for longer than needed.”

“What do you suggest I do, then?” I stare at them expectantly. “I am not drinking or anything and I am getting proper sleep. Just let me work a little.”

“But you are not trying to move on,” Ashley states, “And you are lonely.”

“So are you.”

Zack makes an alarmed face, but Ashley takes it without flinching. She’s never cared much for my tendency to snap when defensive. “I got a suggestion for you. If you follow this one request I have, I’ll leave you be. For a while, anyway.”

I glare at the end of her sentence but lean forward anyway. “Well?”

“There is this event,” Ashley explains, “it’s for mate less males and females to meet. I’ve known about it for a few years now, though I’ve never attended. It sounds fun though.”

“So, you are suggesting,” I begin, “I walk into this event and find someone new?”

“Try at least.”

“Ashley…”

Ashley meets my gaze. Out of everyone here, I believe she is the one that could understand me the most. There are things that either of us can’t fully understand about each other’s situation, of course, but that pain of losing something so vital to your being is similar.

“You told me you were working on it, Jake.”

I choke on the denial that was about to leave my mouth.

I place the remaining bottle of sunscreen in my bag, then force the zipper shut. The sun hadn’t even come up yet, but I felt like I needed to leave before I lost the courage to.

I clutch the envelope tightly in my hand. It had been free of wrinkles when I first placed the letter there. Now it looked completely worn out.

I take in a deep breath. “I don’t think I am ready.”

I force the envelope back into my pocket. It was too soon. I was still able to have fun with her. There was nothing else to it. It didn’t have to be anything other than friendship.

Just as I start thinking of unpacking, I hear a noise coming from the kitchen, followed by a muffled laugh.

“I told you to be quiet,” Claire’s voice rings out. “Do you know how many supernatural people there are here?”

“I am aware,” Landon replies. “But you are the one who nearly knocked me over when you saw a bug.”

“It was staring at me!”

“It was not.”

“I swear to you it was!”

“Fine, it was.” A pause. “Now can you let go of me so I can cook?”

“Not really.”

My heart sinks dangerously low. I take out the envelope from my pocket and leave it on top of my bed. Then, I grab my bag and sneak out the window, my mind made.

There was no going back to this now.

I nod at Ashley once. I can’t manage more than that at the moment.

Zack and Ashley catch it at the same time. Zack is the first to speak up. “Will you?”

“Are you sure?”

I hold in a growl. “Yes.” I press a hand to my forehead, stress creeping in. “Why not?”

Their whoops of excitement fill the room only a moment later.