Hallows: Merciful Death

This Isn't Who You Are

Papa Roach ft. FEVER 333 & Sueco- Swerve

B.B:

Holland falls to the ground crying when the guys let him go. Stacy spits on him before she storms off to get back to her party. I crouch down next to him taking the rag out of his mouth gently. He looks up at me with absolute fear in his eyes. A part of me knows how wrong this is. There's no autonomy to my actions. No, it's the complete opposite. I acted based on an absolutely selfish desire. I did it for all the wrong reasons and it feels so f*****g good to give into it. To give into the heteronomy of my impulses. There is no justice or proof of morality. Just a selfish act to feel alive again. More animal than reasoning.

"This was a very impulsive thing to do, buddy. I get that. Dilly did always tell me that I needed to be a little more centered. She said that if I didn't reign in the darkness that it would make me do something I might regret one day. But you know what? Not today. I feel fairly pleased with myself. You guys?" I ask, looking up at the guys.

"Yeah," they laugh.

"Got the whole thing on video," Dylan, Marco's boyfriend holds up his phone. "I'm going to f**k to it later,"

"That's sick," I laugh as I straighten up. "I hope you've learned your lesson, Holland. I want you to know that things could have been a lot worse for you. I could have ruined your life, ya know? But I didn't. You'll heal up. Step back and re-evaluate your place in life.

"Maybe you'll meet a cute Mormon girl who'll make a man out of you at BYU. Doesn't that sound nice? I hope so. You have an opportunity here. Don't squander it. I left your little boy toy in your ass. I suggest you pull it out with one quick tug. It's pretty lubed up from all the blood. Remember, the cap has sharp edges. Take care of yourself, Holland. Let us know if you need anything,"

I dust my dress off, making sure I didn't get any blood or dirt on it.

"You didn't get dirty, did you?" Carson asks, scanning my body with his icy eyes.

"I don't think so. I hope not. This is my favorite Valentino," I answer. He reaches for my gloves when I take them off. "You guys want a drink?"

"Yes," Luc grins. "I could use a drink. I'm feeling a bit parched,"

"I'll get them," I wave them over towards the Whitmore mansion. "Do you guys still have those joints?"

"These cute little black ones?" Carson chuckles. "Yeah, we packed them all,"

"Great," I let out a heavy sigh.

There's a sense of peace now. The darkness is beginning to fade. The high of it is gone. The numbness in my bones is returning but not like before. I feel a little like myself again. Did that really just happen? Did I really just ass f**k that kid in the middle of one of the biggest parties this week? I grab three cups and began to fill them with JD's honey whiskey. Shane and Caiuss approached the table as I put a salted lime in my mouth after carefully taking the peel off. I don't let them know I'm aware of their presence but I'm aware of a lot of things right now. Not all of it seems real.

"You've seen Holland?" Shane asks.

"Who?" I ask looking up at him feeling a little dazed.

"Holland. You walked out with him a while ago. I haven't seen him in a while," he looks me over.

"Oh, yeah. That guy. I saw him out front,"

"Tt," Caiuss scoffs and walks away. I grin flashing my teeth.

"So, this is you now? You f*****g those two devil wannabes too?" Shane almost growls. It's so unlike him to show too much emotion being blue-blooded and all. He hides his judgment with an imperiously stoic expression on his handsome face.

"No, I haven't f****d them," I shake my head. "Not yet,"

"You aren't this person, Bella. I know you. You're a good girl," his eyebrows knit together disapprovingly. I laugh.

"You think so? You should go check on your friend. I'm very disappointed in the company Rosa lets you keep now, Shane. You're better than this or maybe I just expected something more, ya know? Maybe this is who you were all along. Maybe this is who we were, always. I should go. I wouldn't want to get you in trouble with your girlfriend. I know how she can be," I circled my index finger around my ear teasingly.

"I'm sorry about how s**t went down, B.B,"

"Don't worry about it. We've both moved on. We're past it, right?" I meet his gaze challengingly. "You're over it. I can see how much you love her,"

"I do love her," he says monotonously.

"But?" I feel like there's a but in there.

"No buts," he shakes his head.

"Perfect. Then there's no need for you to apologize. We'll probably be seeing more of each other now that I'm... feeling better," I laugh. "Have fun tonight, Shane. You deserve it, pal,"

I picked up the three cups in one hand and walked away.

"Why were you talking to him?" Carson demands when I approach. I hold up the cups. He takes one and Luc takes the other leaving one for me.

"He was asking about his friend," I roll my eyes.

The three of us turned back to see Caius run back inside and grab Shane by his jacket, he says something in a panicked rush, and then runs back out the front door. Shane looks in our direction. I turned around completely and lifted my cup to him. We all do. He shakes his head and runs after his buddy.

"I think they found him," Luc chuckles.

"Ten dollars he still has the bottle in his ass," Carson smirks.

"Ten on him having Caius pull it out," Luc bumps him playfully.

"Nah, Shane pulls it out," I turned to look at them. They laugh. I looked between the two of them. "Are you guys okay?"

"Are you?" Luc shoots right back at me. "You seemed a little-" he wiggles his body a little. "Unhinged,"

"I was a little upset," I admit. "I did have to hold a crying Stacy in my arms all night. But I feel a little better. Like things are looking up for me, you know?"

"Good," he smiles taking a swig from his cup.

"I really like this side of you," Carson whispers against my neck. "Try to reel it back a little. Channel it, take the wheel. If you let it out like you did tonight, someone is going to get hurt and I don't want it to be you, B.B,"

"I know it feels good at first. It scares you, whatever you see. That's your demon. Deal with it however you need to but make sure it never takes over completely. It's there for your convenience. Not the other way around," Luc adds. I look between them wondering what the hell they're talking about.

"What do you see, B.B?" Carson asks.

"A snake," I answer looking into his icy blue eyes. How do they know I see something?

"What color is it?" Luc asks.

"Black," I answer. The two of them exchange what I can only decipher as impressed looks.

"The black mamba," Carson smirks. "Ooof,"

"What is that? What does it matter?" I demand.

"It matters," Luc nods. "It's a crow for me. The red devil for Carson. It was the golden viper for Delilah. Some have more than one. Like your dad. It takes time for it to fully manifest. You've been fighting a black f*****g mamba for two years now. I'm not worried about you a single bit, Blackstone. You fed tonight, it should satiate it for a while,"

"What is this?" I ask, placing my hand on my chest. What is he even saying?

"A curse," Carson answers. "We're cursed, B.B. Hellbourne's Elite. All of us. But Blackstones, you guys have it the worst. You are the original sin. The ones that brought the demons to this side," he looks me over with a sad glint in his eyes. He cups my face to keep me from looking away. "I'm only going to say this once, Belladonna Blackstone.

"You belong to us now. Do you understand? You're mine and Lucien's. Process it however you want. Fight it for all I care, but you will give in and if you let some asshole put his filthy f*****g hands on you again without our permission, I'll hold you down while Lucefollows through on his promise. You got it?"

"I got it," I whisper feeling a cold chill run down my spine.

This sounds insane, all of it. A curse? A black mamba? Demons?

"Good girl. Luc wants to dance. Don't you, Luc?"

"Hell yeah," he grins widely.

"Be a good girl and go dance with him, princess. There's no need for the fun to be over just yet," Carson smiles wickedly.

"What about you?" I ask when Luc interlocks his fingers with my own to pull me away.

"I'm already having the greatest night of my life, B.B. My little snake is home. You have no f*****g idea how much I've craved you. I didn't know how much longer I had to wait. I'm glad you're where you belong now," he tips my chin. "Now go. Remember, I'm watching,"