The Gamma's Dark Witch

34 - The Last Mark

(Nisha)

I dreamt of buttery warmth, eyes of the deep winter forest, and a soft humming floating on late summer air.

Cold, sharp air crowded the edges of the summer; it too soon replaced the contentness with the cutting edges of reality as it pushed back the summer breeze. There was a warmth that stayed, a contrast against the morning air that was fresh after relieving itself of the burden of rain.

Cameron's hand was settled on my hip; it was a heavy, warm weight, and every part of me felt attuned to where it rested. He was still sleeping. His dark blonde lashes twitched against closed eyes. His sharp, stoic features calmed in his rest, and he seemed more innocent, perhaps. His constant worries were erased, and he seemed almost boyish in a way.

I reached out to touch him on instinct, wanting to caress his cheek the way he caressed my body yesterday. Heat flushed between my thighs with the memory. I stopped before I made contact with him, not knowing what would happen if he woke up to me staring at him but knowing that it wouldn’t be good. I didn’t want to erase the look he had on his face last night and replace it with the regret I knew he would feel. Not yet, at least.

At this moment in the early part of dawn when the darkness still fought the light for the last few moments of power, this is where I could pretend. While we were suspended between sleep and reality. I could indulge myself, pretend that he wanted me as I wanted him. Pretend that this all made sense and that even if he did want me, we could exist in a world where it could work. Where I was free to not just roam but to roam where I wanted to. Where I had a purpose not given but chosen. But even if I had a choice and he wanted me, truly wanted me, which I knew was as implausible as me turning into a cat right now, it wouldn’t be that simple.

My shadows burst from me and tentatively swirled around him. They caressed his cheek, and I shut my eyes, trying to connect with them to feel the warmth of him past their cool velvety feel.

“Nisha,” Cameron breathed.

I blinked back open my eyes, and his were mere inches away. My breath hitched. He looked up, and I saw my shadows were flowing around him. Through his hair, down the gorgeous chiseled side of his face.

“Oh,” I half-whispered, gaping at the audacity of them. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to.” I tried to reign them in.

“It’s fine,” he said. His voice was soft, but his face slipped back into waking hardness.

I internally sighed and called my shadows back. I buried them deep along with the pang of hurt that I felt at the look in his eyes I tried to mentally prepare myself for.

He shifted and sighed. Despite my thoughts, I couldn’t help but notice the roll of his muscles straining under his shirt. What was wrong with me? I had been with men and a few women. I would consider all of them beautiful. There were even some I was attracted to past looks, some I got to know in a limited time in a place.

But he... He was different.

It was an initial attraction, an inital sense of knowing, of rightness that I don’t think I had ever felt before. I thought it might have been a mistake, but every time I saw him, I got the same tangle of emotions that settled deep beneath my stomach.

His clear disdain for me did nothing to dispel my attraction, and I thought that might have said something more about me. But with everything else going on, with the myriad of questions tumbling through my mind, it wasn’t something I could unpack at the moment. And it didn't matter anyway.

He clearly disliked me. It was easy for people to dislike my kind, and I would like to have said I was used to it. But with his… with all of his friends, his family being so open and welcoming. I felt the sharp sting of rejection even harder. He was the only one who reminded me that I was unwelcome in the beautiful paradise that was that ancient stone mansion nestled into the purple mountains.

But despite that, when he was around, I felt safe. He increased my nerves but settled my tension. He both excited and calmed me. I didn’t want to see him, but every time I heard some noise outside the room I was in, I hoped it was him. Logic and emotions warred not for the first time. But this was the only time I didn’t understand my emotions as well as I did my logic. I couldn’t make sense of or catalog it.

The scrape of the tarp brought me back to my senses. What was left of them, at least. Cameron pushed out of the cave and surveyed the area, looking for gods knew what, but I was sure he would find it. I quietly started packing so as not to disturb him and started to roll up our bed mats.

“It should be fine to travel all day,” he announced, almost making me jump.

I nodded. “Good.” I didn’t know what to say how to act after last night, but I guess we were just going back to normal. Which felt... Well, it coiled my stomach.

“I’ll get breakfast started and some coffee, and we can head out,” he said.

“That sounds good. I’ll finish up here,” I replied. And we worked in tandem, in silence that wasn’t comfortable but felt heavy and jerky. We were hyperaware of each other but in a way that felt like we were avoiding the other.

He handed me a mug of coffee, and his hand brushed mine, and we both pulled back. “Thanks,” I murmured, looking down.

“The area the next marker is, well, I think at least.” Cameron frowned into his mug. “I think we should be able to find it today.” I shuddered, thinking about the power I connected to yesterday. ‘I felt his gaze on me, slicing through the icy dread.

“Okay,” I said more confidently than I felt. The last marker, and then he would be able to ascertain the closest town or towns for us to try to track down a way to reach Soleil. “Has there been any news?” I asked.

He shook his head, looking at the faded, worn path in front of our hideout. “I was able to check in with them and my team at your cottage, but nothing of note.” He frowned again and dumped the rest of his coffee out.

The morning was fresh and bright. The rain washed away the mugginess of yesterday. We walked in silence again, and my thoughts swirled between remembering last night and the fear of the marker again.

“Can you try?” Cameron asked after what might have been hours.

I took a deep breath, and before I could think about it, I unleashed our shared power, searching and looking and eventually recoiling. I shuddered again as the power rushed back to me, coming back to me with a jolt.

“Nisha,” Cameron’s voice came soft. I felt the soft warmth of his hand on my lower back. As soon as I opened my eyes, he retracted it.

“It’s further; it felt more dull, I’m not sure.” I shut down the thought that the void might be getting easier to suffer.

“Can you direct us to it?” he asked.

I nodded. “We’re on the right path, but it was more... Left?”

I was focused on the path, but I saw his boots shift and turn to me. “When we’re closer, you can find the direction, and I’ll guide us to it.” I reluctantly met his gaze. “I’ll find it when we’re near. You don’t have to come.”

I swallowed and nodded. I felt like a child he had to coddle to protect from a fallen stone that was a marker of my people, my kind. I didn’t want any pity, especially not from him. But I couldn’t form those words. I couldn’t get them out past my throat.

He turned, and I followed in silence, sinking deeper into myself with every step.

When we neared it, I felt our shared power recoil deeper within me. I didn’t understand this visceral reaction when all I felt before was a mild sense of unease and discomfort. Why would the powers that connected all of us recoil from things that were meant to guide us? To help protect us.

“It’s off the path up there.” I pointed, and Cameron stopped trailing his gaze from my finger.

He nodded sharply. “I’ll go ahead.”

“I’m coming,” I sighed. He looked me over, and his jaw locked, but he didn’t argue.

We had to slow to wade through the underbrush and step over decay and rot of a forest forgotten, left to govern itself.

Cameron stilled as if he felt it, too.

That nothingness. That was hollow but screamed in its loud void.

Cameron looked back at me and reached out his hand. I placed my hand in his, and the warmth of it pushed some of the void away. Our shared power came back to the surface as if wanting comfort from him, too.

“This way,” Cameron said, gently tugging on my hand.

A few moments later, we stood outside, trees so thick, so overgrown, I was half-worried, half-hoping we couldn’t make it through. We circled it, and, of course, Cameron found a place just wide enough for us to fit through - him with some effort.

The place rang with the sameness. Another slab, slightly smaller than the last, a clearing where nothing grew, where all sounds quieted.

“This is not natural,” Cameron muttered, and I swear a shiver went through him.

He dropped my hand, and we did the same dance. I walked around trying to distract myself, and he rooted around the ground collecting samples that I didn’t want to admit that I didn’t want to have carried away from this place, carried so close to us.

I heard him shift again, a dull ripping sound, and turned to find his wolf. He walked up to me slowly and nuzzled his head under mine. I reveled in the sensation of his thick, soft hair. As he walked and sniffed around, I walked next to him, not taking my hand off his back. I was almost sad when he ducked behind the stone, and Cameron stood once again in front of me.

“Done?” I asked, trying to keep the hope out of my voice.

He nodded slowly, looking around, but he didn’t dig up any rusty relic this time, and that made me feel better for a reason I was unsure of.

He helped me back through the clearing, and neither of us dropped each other’s hand until we reached the faint trail. I don’t know if he thought that I needed the comfort, but I wished that he took comfort from me, as well. Either way, I would take the small offering, regardless of his intentions.

Only when we were a bit away, he pulled out a map and some gadget and made notes of where we were exactly.

“We could reach the closest town by nightfall. Then we can set out to try to find the smaller settlement you remembered. The town won’t be big, though, so it might be the same place,” he explained, folding the map back up and neatly tucking it in his pack.

The sun hung high above us, then started to dip as the trees became sparser. I both wanted to leave and didn’t. Even though we were only in the forest for three days, I felt that I was leaving something behind. I was afraid that things might change when we left and worried that they might stay the same.

A town, if you could even call it that, appeared as if we walked through a door to another world. It was made up of mismatched buildings; their paint faded with age. There was a quietness around it that seemed to seep from the forest, but it was comfortable.

“Do you remember this?” Cameron asked me in a whisper.

I shook my head. “The place we stayed, if I remember correctly.” I didn’t trust myself that this was even the right place. “It was even more secluded, without a road.” I pointed to the fading tarmac road that sprawled in front of the row of buildings.

We edged closer, the place still slept. “Let’s go.” Cameron nodded towards a building we passed that had light trickling through faded windows. “There.”

“What is it?” I asked, but followed him in.