LAYLA

Chapter Eight

I woke up to an exhilarating pain today. My lower abdomen was the source of it and my back was aching too, i still prayed subh Cuz the blood won't start now, and if it starts the pain will lessen but it will still be there.

I didn't do any nafilah or dua before and after my prayer. Just prayed and removed my hijab.

I need to get to the kitchen.

I didn't care about what I was wearing, it's was cotton shorts and one of Abba's shirt that I stole sometime ago. I only brushed my teeth before performing wudhu so if I come across Zayyad, my breath won't be smelly. I crawled out of my room but decided that I just look ridiculous so I stood up, supporting myself with the stair railing I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen. Beads of sweat were already forming on my forehead. I dread this day every month.

Girls with easy menstruation don't know how lucky they are.

I sat on the floor clenching my stomach and closed my eyes.I don't think Zayyad is home,he probably went to the gym or for a run around the estate. I really need help.

Normally when I'm experiencing this I drink lots and lots of warm water and it help but I have to take some meds too but my hatred for meds won't allow me to.

Is there injection for menstrual cramps? Cuz I'll definitely get it if there is.

Finally gathering some courage, Cuz there is no need for strength, this pain has drained me. I put a really big pot of water on the gas stove and let's it get warm. After which I put it in a really big flask and took my position back on the floor.

I don't know how much time passed but I was on my third glass of warm water when I heard the front door open. I knew it was him, I don't know what I was thinking coming down like this. And when I say like this I don't mean the way I'm dressed but the fact that I look like a total mess. I closed my eyes and rested the back of my head on the cupboard behind me, my legs sprawled in front of me. I heard Zayyad go up and I breathed a sigh of relief but stayed the way I am.

After about 10-15 minutes of staying like that I heard someone talk to me.

"What's wrong with you, why do you look this and what are you drinking"I opened my eyes slightly to look and he was really there, i gave him a small smile.

"Look like what"I asked,

Really? He asked three questions and that's what I chose to answer with, I'm just pathetic I said to myself, mentally slapping my forehead.

"Well you look sick, are u having an attack again, why didn't you call me, i told you to come to the hospital with me the other day but you refused, please come on, we are going now and where's your inhaler "he looked really concerned and that brought warmth to her heart.

"Zayyad I'm o.... "He didn't let me finish

"I'm not taking any of that,we are going to the hospital and that's final, no excuses. Common"he said trying to help me stand.

The pain increased as I tried standing and I leaned on him, "Zayyad please just listen to me, it's not what you think, I'll be Okay, it's my monthly..... " I trailed off

"Oh, oh my God, I'm so sorry, it didn't cross my mind "

"It's okay, now help me to the couch, i need to lay down and bring the warm water please"

He complied and I layed on my chest, a soft pillow under my stomach to suppress the pain. I stayed like that for some time before Zayyad left me. Oh well he isn't my babysitter but I felt a little disappointment. I closed my eyes to try to sleep but I felt a hand on my neck checking my temperature.

"It's fine, it will pass"

"Lay on your back" I don't know why he said that but I did turn and lay on my back. He curled his finger on the hem of my shirt but I stopped him before he could do anything.

"What do you think you are doing "I asked him, getting annoyed,

"Trying to make you feel better, trust me it works" he raised my shirt up a little just displaying my lower abdomen where it was hurting. Is this fool going to do this now? Did he try it with one of his girlfriend and it worked? Or is he just trying to take advantage of the situation? Then I felt something warm and soft been placed on my stomach, it was a white nylon bag filled with water, warm water, a little hot but still bearable.

I can't believe I was thinking about such bullshit when he was just trying to help, i mentally slapped my forehead for the second time today. True to his words the warm water bag felt soothing and I soon drifted off to sleep. When I woke up the pain had decreased but it was still there, he was sitting opposite me watching me sleep, God I'm sure he just lost any respect he ever had for me, i look really ugly when I'm asleep. Amina told me that, even took a picture once and it wasn't good. At all!

I turned, my back against him, then I remembered what I was wearing, my village people are after me today, i just woke up to embarrass myself today. So i sat up, the water bag was resting on the center table.

"How are you feeling now "he asked

"Better "my voice was raspy from sleep so I cleared my throat and answered again, "better, thank you so much, where did you learn to do that"

He just shrugged his shoulders but I didn't miss the sadness that appeared in his eyes just for a moment, i nodded and ran my tongue on my lips, it was parched and I cringed at that.

I stood up and made my way to my room "I'm going to clean up"I said before leaving"

"Yeah you should" he replied,

When I got to my bathroom I understood why he said that, I was stained, even the shirt I was wearing had a little bit of blood on it.

Should I just cry or die!!

I feel so embarrassed right now and I don't think I can look at him without wishing for the ground to open up and swallow me, what did I do to deserve this.

I cleaned up really slowly just to take time, when I finished I sat on my bed, preparing myself mentally to face him again, then there was a knock on my door and a 'can I come in'. I took a deep breath and went to open the door with a smile on my face, there he was, a saucer with a cup in on hand and a plate with toasted bread on the other. If my smile was fake before it definitely isn't now, i opened the door widely for him to come in.

"I added just a little bit of honey to the tea so I don't think you'll really like it but the ginger should help with the pain.

"It's perfect, thanks, it will do"I said taking the food from him, he sat on my bed and I got busy with my food. We made small talks.

I think he's amazing, but I couldn't help but wonder how my life would have been if I had gotten married to Nabeel.

But Allah knows best.