Ten years have passed.
I dreamt of him almost every night.
The lingering of those cold but gentle touch, your silver hair that shines in the dark, the safeness I feel when you carried me in your arms.
My "Omi". My first love.
The sound of the nature grabbed my attention.
"I must be out of my mind"...
"To fall in love with the man who does not exist"...
"He is not real."...
"I don't even know his face."
"Uurrgggh."... "Damn those surreal dream!"... I shouted.
"I'm sure grandma must be hungry..." I organized my thoughts and hurriedly go back. Just before I even arrived, a neighbor told me a terrible news.
"Your grandma is gone..." those words echoes through my mind.
I rush inside the house, I found grandma lying on her bed peacefully.
"Grandma..." tears falling down my cheeks as I called her name. I grab her hand, the warmth that she always give me slowly living her body. She was fine when I saw her sleeping this morning.
" Why?..." "How?"... I sobbed in disbelief. Reality hit hard, she is gone...the agony of losing someone, the regrets, and the grief are ineffable. A sudden flashback of our memories together. Time stopped. My mind went black.
Grandma's funeral and other stuff was settled. I can't even remember what happened or how did I manage to overcome the situation.
Maybe some part of me is denying the fact that she is no longer here. Only time can tell and heal my suffering.
Days passed, I'll be leaving this town.
I'm moving to the city to continue my studies.
The decision was made long before my grandma died.
I look at the beautiful scenery in front of me one last time. I take a stroll, say my goodbyes, then visit my grandma's tomb.
I sat down and saw a blackthorn flowers in my grandma's tombstone.
"I wonder who put the flower here."... I ask myself in bewilderment.
I look at my grandma's tomb.
"Grandma, I'll be leaving soon.
Please watch over me wherever you are." ...my heart was crushed while saying those words.
"I'll try to visit you more often. I promise."
Suddenly, I remember the place of the blackthorn tree .
Desire in my heart urge in me to go there.
I say my goodbye to grandma and walks slowly where the tree is.
The flowers of the blackthorn tree blooms beautifully. Seeing them makes me remembered my "first love".
I stretch out my arms to reached the branch to pick some flowers. Carelessly, a thorn pricked my finger.
I put it in my mouth to stop the bleeding.
I'm gonna miss this place.I lean on the tree and close my eyes.
"I will be leaving tomorrow".
"Will I'll be able to keep seeing you in my dreams?". I mumbled to myself.
I wish time will stop even for a second.
To imprint the smell of the grass, the flowers and trees.
The fresh and gentle wind that touches my skin, the sound of the bird singing.
With a heavy heart, my resolve is shaken. I don't want to leave.
I pull myself together, thinking about my future gives me determination to go on.
I get up and open my eyes, grabbed the flower and take my leave.Then, something caught my eye. I turn around and saw him.
His skin is white as snow, those cold-blue eyes pierced the deepest part of me. I was awed by his silver hair.
I could hear my loud, fast beating heart.
I'm worried that he would notice.
What is this warm and fuzzy feeling?
He looks so familiar.
He stared at me and didn't utter a word.
I stare at him astonishingly.
"Have we meet before?."... the first word that came out my mouth. I was dumbfounded by my question and scolded myself repeatedly.
He tilted his head and answer.
"Maybe we did or maybe we didn't." ..
I am puzzled by how he response.
"Haha"..."I must be mistaken you for somebody else". ..laughing nervously to hide my embarrassment.
Its a stupid question to ask.Did I expect for him to answer yes? I curse myself over and over.
"Maybe". ..he chuckled.
"Are you waiting for someone here?"... he added.
"Oh no. My feet just lead me here."... I answered.
"This place is beautiful isn't it? ...proudly said and smile.
"Beautiful indeed."... he smile and look at her.
"Well, it's nice to meet you but I take my leave first."... "Have a good day."... my heart aches when I said my goodbye.
He nodded and smile.
I took a glimpse of him. He is looking at the vast blue sky. I wonder what's going on in his mind. There's a yearning inside of me that wants to meet you again. As I start to walk away, there is a mixed feeling of happiness and sadness when I leave that place. Hoping and wishing someday our path will cross again.