Measure for Measure

Act 3, Scene II

Enter, on one side, DUKE VINCENTIO disguised as before; on the other, ELBOW, and Officers with POMPEY

ELBOW

Nay, if there be no remedy for it, but that you will

needs buy and sell men and women like beasts, we

shall have all the world drink brown and white bastard.

DUKE VINCENTIO

O heavens! what stuff is here

POMPEY

'Twas never merry world since, of two usuries, the

merriest was put down, and the worser allowed by

order of law a furred gown to keep him warm; and

furred with fox and lamb-skins too, to signify, that

craft, being richer than innocency, stands for the facing.

ELBOW

Come your way, sir. 'Bless you, good father friar.

DUKE VINCENTIO

And you, good brother father. What offence hath

this man made you, sir?

ELBOW

Marry, sir, he hath offended the law: and, sir, we

take him to be a thief too, sir; for we have found

upon him, sir, a strange picklock, which we have

sent to the deputy.

DUKE VINCENTIO

Fie, sirrah! a bawd, a wicked bawd!

The evil that thou causest to be done,

That is thy means to live. Do thou but think

What 'tis to cram a maw or clothe a back

From such a filthy vice: say to thyself,

From their abominable and beastly touches

I drink, I eat, array myself, and live.

Canst thou believe thy living is a life,

So stinkingly depending? Go mend, go mend.

POMPEY

Indeed, it does stink in some sort, sir; but yet,

sir, I would prove--

DUKE VINCENTIO

Nay, if the devil have given thee proofs for sin,

Thou wilt prove his. Take him to prison, officer:

Correction and instruction must both work

Ere this rude beast will profit.

ELBOW

He must before the deputy, sir; he has given him

warning: the deputy cannot abide a whoremaster: if

he be a whoremonger, and comes before him, he were

as good go a mile on his errand.

DUKE VINCENTIO

That we were all, as some would seem to be,

From our faults, as faults from seeming, free!

ELBOW

His neck will come to your waist,--a cord, sir.

POMPEY

I spy comfort; I cry bail. Here's a gentleman and a

friend of mine.

Enter LUCIO

LUCIO

How now, noble Pompey! What, at the wheels of

Caesar? art thou led in triumph? What, is there

none of Pygmalion's images, newly made woman, to be

had now, for putting the hand in the pocket and

extracting it clutch'd? What reply, ha? What

sayest thou to this tune, matter and method? Is't

not drowned i' the last rain, ha? What sayest

thou, Trot? Is the world as it was, man? Which is

the way? Is it sad, and few words? or how? The

trick of it?

DUKE VINCENTIO

Still thus, and thus; still worse!

LUCIO

How doth my dear morsel, thy mistress? Procures she

still, ha?

POMPEY

Troth, sir, she hath eaten up all her beef, and she

is herself in the tub.

LUCIO

Why, 'tis good; it is the right of it; it must be

so: ever your fresh w***e and your powdered bawd:

an unshunned consequence; it must be so. Art going

to prison, Pompey?

POMPEY

Yes, faith, sir.

LUCIO

Why, 'tis not amiss, Pompey. Farewell: go, say I

sent thee thither. For debt, Pompey? or how?

ELBOW

For being a bawd, for being a bawd.

LUCIO

Well, then, imprison him: if imprisonment be the

due of a bawd, why, 'tis his right: bawd is he

doubtless, and of antiquity too; bawd-born.

Farewell, good Pompey. Commend me to the prison,

Pompey: you will turn good husband now, Pompey; you

will keep the house.

POMPEY

I hope, sir, your good worship will be my bail.

LUCIO

No, indeed, will I not, Pompey; it is not the wear.

I will pray, Pompey, to increase your bondage: If

you take it not patiently, why, your mettle is the

more. Adieu, trusty Pompey. 'Bless you, friar.

DUKE VINCENTIO

And you.

LUCIO

Does Bridget paint still, Pompey, ha?

ELBOW

Come your ways, sir; come.

POMPEY

You will not bail me, then, sir?

LUCIO

Then, Pompey, nor now. What news abroad, friar?

what news?

ELBOW

Come your ways, sir; come.

LUCIO

Go to kennel, Pompey; go.

Exeunt ELBOW, POMPEY and Officers

What news, friar, of the duke?

DUKE VINCENTIO

I know none. Can you tell me of any?

LUCIO

Some say he is with the Emperor of Russia; other

some, he is in Rome: but where is he, think you?

DUKE VINCENTIO

I know not where; but wheresoever, I wish him well.

LUCIO

It was a mad fantastical trick of him to steal from

the state, and usurp the beggary he was never born

to. Lord Angelo dukes it well in his absence; he

puts transgression to 't.

DUKE VINCENTIO

He does well in 't.

LUCIO

A little more lenity to lechery would do no harm in

him: something too crabbed that way, friar.

DUKE VINCENTIO

It is too general a vice, and severity must cure it.

LUCIO

Yes, in good sooth, the vice is of a great kindred;

it is well allied: but it is impossible to extirp

it quite, friar, till eating and drinking be put

down. They say this Angelo was not made by man and

woman after this downright way of creation: is it

true, think you?

DUKE VINCENTIO

How should he be made, then?

LUCIO

Some report a sea-maid spawned him; some, that he

was begot between two stock-fishes. But it is

certain that when he makes water his urine is

congealed ice; that I know to be true: and he is a

motion generative; that's infallible.

DUKE VINCENTIO

You are pleasant, sir, and speak apace.

LUCIO

Why, what a ruthless thing is this in him, for the

rebellion of a codpiece to take away the life of a

man! Would the duke that is absent have done this?

Ere he would have hanged a man for the getting a

hundred bastards, he would have paid for the nursing

a thousand: he had some feeling of the sport: he

knew the service, and that instructed him to mercy.

DUKE VINCENTIO

I never heard the absent duke much detected for

women; he was not inclined that way.

LUCIO

O, sir, you are deceived.

DUKE VINCENTIO

'Tis not possible.

LUCIO

Who, not the duke? yes, your beggar of fifty; and

his use was to put a ducat in her clack-dish: the

duke had crotchets in him. He would be drunk too;

that let me inform you.

DUKE VINCENTIO

You do him wrong, surely.

LUCIO

Sir, I was an inward of his. A shy fellow was the

duke: and I believe I know the cause of his

withdrawing.

DUKE VINCENTIO

What, I prithee, might be the cause?

LUCIO

No, pardon; 'tis a secret must be locked within the

teeth and the lips: but this I can let you

understand, the greater file of the subject held the

duke to be wise.

DUKE VINCENTIO

Wise! why, no question but he was.

LUCIO

A very superficial, ignorant, unweighing fellow.

DUKE VINCENTIO

Either this is the envy in you, folly, or mistaking:

the very stream of his life and the business he hath

helmed must upon a warranted need give him a better

proclamation. Let him be but testimonied in his own

bringings-forth, and he shall appear to the

envious a scholar, a statesman and a soldier.

Therefore you speak unskilfully: or if your

knowledge be more it is much darkened in your malice.

LUCIO

Sir, I know him, and I love him.

DUKE VINCENTIO

Love talks with better knowledge, and knowledge with

dearer love.

LUCIO

Come, sir, I know what I know.

DUKE VINCENTIO

I can hardly believe that, since you know not what

you speak. But, if ever the duke return, as our

prayers are he may, let me desire you to make your

answer before him. If it be honest you have spoke,

you have courage to maintain it: I am bound to call

upon you; and, I pray you, your name?

LUCIO

Sir, my name is Lucio; well known to the duke.

DUKE VINCENTIO

He shall know you better, sir, if I may live to

report you.

LUCIO

I fear you not.

DUKE VINCENTIO

O, you hope the duke will return no more; or you

imagine me too unhurtful an opposite. But indeed I

can do you little harm; you'll forswear this again.

LUCIO

I'll be hanged first: thou art deceived in me,

friar. But no more of this. Canst thou tell if

Claudio die to-morrow or no?

DUKE VINCENTIO

Why should he die, sir?

LUCIO

Why? For filling a bottle with a tundish. I would

the duke we talk of were returned again: the

ungenitured agent will unpeople the province with

continency; sparrows must not build in his

house-eaves, because they are lecherous. The duke

yet would have dark deeds darkly answered; he would

never bring them to light: would he were returned!

Marry, this Claudio is condemned for untrussing.

Farewell, good friar: I prithee, pray for me. The

duke, I say to thee again, would eat mutton on

Fridays. He's not past it yet, and I say to thee,

he would mouth with a beggar, though she smelt brown

bread and garlic: say that I said so. Farewell.

Exit

DUKE VINCENTIO

No might nor greatness in mortality

Can censure 'scape; back-wounding calumny

The whitest virtue strikes. What king so strong

Can tie the gall up in the slanderous tongue?

But who comes here?

Enter ESCALUS, Provost, and Officers with MISTRESS OVERDONE

ESCALUS

Go; away with her to prison!

MISTRESS OVERDONE

Good my lord, be good to me; your honour is accounted

a merciful man; good my lord.

ESCALUS

Double and treble admonition, and still forfeit in

the same kind! This would make mercy swear and play

the tyrant.

Provost

A bawd of eleven years' continuance, may it please

your honour.

MISTRESS OVERDONE

My lord, this is one Lucio's information against me.

Mistress Kate Keepdown was with child by him in the

duke's time; he promised her marriage: his child

is a year and a quarter old, come Philip and Jacob:

I have kept it myself; and see how he goes about to abuse me!

ESCALUS

That fellow is a fellow of much licence: let him be

called before us. Away with her to prison! Go to;

no more words.

Exeunt Officers with MISTRESS OVERDONE

Provost, my brother Angelo will not be altered;

Claudio must die to-morrow: let him be furnished

with divines, and have all charitable preparation.

if my brother wrought by my pity, it should not be

so with him.

Provost

So please you, this friar hath been with him, and

advised him for the entertainment of death.

ESCALUS

Good even, good father.

DUKE VINCENTIO

Bliss and goodness on you!

ESCALUS

Of whence are you?

DUKE VINCENTIO

Not of this country, though my chance is now

To use it for my time: I am a brother

Of gracious order, late come from the See

In special business from his holiness.

ESCALUS

What news abroad i' the world?

DUKE VINCENTIO

None, but that there is so great a fever on

goodness, that the dissolution of it must cure it:

novelty is only in request; and it is as dangerous

to be aged in any kind of course, as it is virtuous

to be constant in any undertaking. There is scarce

truth enough alive to make societies secure; but

security enough to make fellowships accurst: much

upon this riddle runs the wisdom of the world. This

news is old enough, yet it is every day's news. I

pray you, sir, of what disposition was the duke?

ESCALUS

One that, above all other strifes, contended

especially to know himself.

DUKE VINCENTIO

What pleasure was he given to?

ESCALUS

Rather rejoicing to see another merry, than merry at

any thing which professed to make him rejoice: a

gentleman of all temperance. But leave we him to

his events, with a prayer they may prove prosperous;

and let me desire to know how you find Claudio

prepared. I am made to understand that you have

lent him visitation.

DUKE VINCENTIO

He professes to have received no sinister measure

from his judge, but most willingly humbles himself

to the determination of justice: yet had he framed

to himself, by the instruction of his frailty, many

deceiving promises of life; which I by my good

leisure have discredited to him, and now is he

resolved to die.

ESCALUS

You have paid the heavens your function, and the

prisoner the very debt of your calling. I have

laboured for the poor gentleman to the extremest

shore of my modesty: but my brother justice have I

found so severe, that he hath forced me to tell him

he is indeed Justice.

DUKE VINCENTIO

If his own life answer the straitness of his

proceeding, it shall become him well; wherein if he

chance to fail, he hath sentenced himself.

ESCALUS

I am going to visit the prisoner. Fare you well.

DUKE VINCENTIO

Peace be with you!

Exeunt ESCALUS and Provost

He who the sword of heaven will bear

Should be as holy as severe;

Pattern in himself to know,

Grace to stand, and virtue go;

More nor less to others paying

Than by self-offences weighing.

Shame to him whose cruel striking

Kills for faults of his own liking!

Twice treble shame on Angelo,

To weed my vice and let his grow!

O, what may man within him hide,

Though angel on the outward side!

How may likeness made in crimes,

Making practise on the times,

To draw with idle spiders' strings

Most ponderous and substantial things!

Craft against vice I must apply:

With Angelo to-night shall lie

His old betrothed but despised;

So disguise shall, by the disguised,

Pay with falsehood false exacting,

And perform an old contracting.

Exit