INSANE (Book one)

Chapter 10

Leah Knight

I walked down the stairs, fixing the sleeves of my sweater. Ares wasn't in the bedroom, so from the sounds of pans and kitchen utensils clicking together, I realized he was in the kitchen. And sure when entered the kitchen entrance, I saw Reina's baby carrier over the dining table. Ares had an apron over his Sunday attire: Grey sweats and matching hoodies.

"heyyo" I greeted. He looked up and smiled at me when I laid my hands on the pillar stone of the kitchen serving as counter.

"Hey beautiful. What do you wanna eat?" he asked me, casually chewing a gum. I find him so attractive right now. He looks attractive everytime. Like magnet.

"French toasts and hot chocolate" I giggled. He rolled his eyes at me.

"so basically, you wanna cook breakfast" he says. I laughed.

"well pardon me. You could do it" I replied.

"no I can't. You make the best ones" he pouted, holding two frying pans as if he was confused. I smiled at him.

"it's okay. You could help" I said, rounding the counter and walking over to his side. I grabbed the two pans out of his hands and put them aside.

"okay. What's the first step?" he asked. I rolled up the sleeves of my sweater and pulled my hair up in a loose ponytail.

"help with the eggs" I replied, breaking two eggs into a mixing bowl. Ares nodded and copied my actions. I heated up the oil in a pan and grabbed a slice of bread from loaf. I dipped it inside the mixture of eggs, sugar and soya spices. Ares does the same with a separate pan.

Soon, we made a dozen of French toasts and at the same time, Ares helps with the hot chocolate. As we waited, I decided to make coffee. As I was making it, Ares wrapped his arms around my waist and buries his face in my neck making me giggle like a high school girl.

"this is so amazing" he murmrs, happiness evident in his voice.

"what is?" I asked, almost done with the coffee.

"our love" he sighed. I sighed happily and turned around, leaning upwards to kiss his lips.

"thank you for finally making me realize it. I'll never run away from it again, Ares" I said truthfully.

"I love you". It was the first time he actually said it after so many years. And he made it completely impossible not to believe him. And in his eyes, shining was whole hearted love, doesn't seem so far away again. It was there, bright and vibrant.

"I love you too"

**********

I started cleaning up the plates after Ares and I finished off breakfast. I placed the ceramics gently inside the sink and Ares followed with the dirty coffee mugs shortly after. I decided to clean them up. Ares leaned against the sink, watching me with a smug smile while I started washing the dishes.

"why do you like staring at me with that smile?" I asked, not looking at him. From the corner of my eyes, I saw his face stretch into a full grin.

"because I can't get enough of that Aphrodite in you" he mused. I threw back my head and let out a hearty laugh. This man never fails to amuse me.

"you're such a smooth talker" I giggled.

"call me whatever you want beautiful, I just always like speaking the truth" he shrugged. He picked up a plate I washed and grabbed the hand towel to dry the water off. Through the corner of my eyes, I stared at him. He was a good father, a homely person and the most loving husband a woman could ever ask for. I just love everything about him, good or bad, love or hate, stupid or serious, funny or okay, I don't care. I love everything that comes from him. Even pain is beautiful when it comes from him, if you know what I mean...............

A pricking sharp pain alighted my finger and I instantly winced which alarmed Ares. I looked down at my hand and saw blood dripping from a slight cut. I got from a knife as a result of trailing out of reality.

"oh my God, are you okay?" Ares fumbled as he quickly dropped a bowl he was drying to come to my aid. My eyes watered with tears when he rushed towards me. He clasped my injured finger in his hands, blowing a soothing air on it.

"I'm fine, I'm fine. It's just a cut" I replied trying to stay cool. Ares took my hand and led me to the stool, sitting me down. He then quickly rushed back to bring the first aid kit in the storage room. The minute he kept the white square box on the counter, he took my injured hand that was still bleeding. But let me just say he had stared at it for too long with an expressionless face. I furrowed my brows in confusion.

"Ares" I called his name to bring him back to reality but my attempt was in vain. As some of my blood dripped on his hand, his head snapped sideways almost too quickly. His dark hair curtained his pale alabaster forehead and he shut his obsidian eyes tightly.

"Ares!" I called a bit louder this time but my voice bounced back on me in the empty kitchen. His veins popped out a red reflecting colour against his forehead and his other hand grabbed the side of his head as if he was having an internal war or trauma. Okay, now he's scaring the s**t out of me!.

What was wrong with him? My other hand almost reached out to touch his face as if trying to calm him down. His breathing was becoming raged and heavy. The warmth radiating off his body was turning into fire. Instantly, he dropped my hand that he had been holding and pushed back the stool so hard, it landed on the floor with a loud thud. I flinched back from the sound, his behavior blinding me and making me forget about my injury. What was wrong with him?

Finally, he opened his eyes slowly. I realized they were blood-shot and darker than sin. For the first time in my life, he made me scared. But I didn't show it, because I know he could get hurt. Instead, I tried to figure out what happened to the guy that was drying kitchen utensils up earlier. I swallowed hard and stood up slowly, my heart beating wild against my chest.

"Ares........." I trailed off, trying to reach out and hug him. But you know what? He turned so suddenly around that I couldn't even register what he was trying to do and walked out on me. I tried not to be affected by this. He was just having a hard time. But why? Because of stupid cut? It's sounds impossible.

I forgot to add one up earlier............simple or complicated.

************

when the days are cold and the cards all fold and the Saints we see, are all made of gold........ And the blood runs still......... But with the beast inside, there's no where we can hide................ Look into my eyes, it's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.............

A knock sounded on the wooden door of my room and I lowered the volume of the TV, looking over briefly at Reina's crib to see if the sound had woke her up. I sighed in relief, you have no idea how hard it was to lull that cry baby into sleep.

"come in" I called. The doorknob twisted and Ares's head poked into the small space.

"Hey" his voice was raspy, as if he had spent the whole day not talking. Maybe he did. Because it was ten o'clock in the evening. But at least he's back to normal now. I forced a smile onto my face, because I was still not sure.

"hey. Is everything okay?" I asked, not sure I can invite him into my room after what happened. I still need to try and understand him if I can love him.

"yeah, it's fine. You think you got a minute?" he asked, also not offering to come in without permission. I sat up right on my bed, my heart slowly quickening it's pace.

"yeah. What do you wanna talk about?" I asked, maintaining the distance.

"I don't know. Netflix and chill?" he asked, pushing the door open and raising up two bags of snacks and goodies. I stared at him, realizing that was what I wanted before chuckling and nodding. He just knows me too well. I'm almost jealous.

"of course" I replied, beckoning him in. He stepped in and pushed the door close with his foot. Ares dropped the bags on the bed as I fixed the sheets while he switched the channels on Netflix. Finally, he settles for **The Fault In Our Stars**. Ares had never hit me to be the type of person to watch Romantic films but as usual, he had proven wrong again.

*******

Halfway through the film, Ares who was sitting behind me on the bed as I concentrated on the TV, leaned in and nibbled on my earlobe, making my body quiver a little. Even the slightest touch from him has power over me. God, Ares is going to be the death of me. I slightly shifted against him and this causes him to tighten his grip around me. He rested his forehead against my shoulder blade, heaving a long sigh. My eyes was still glued to the TV.

"I'm sorry" his raspy voice finally said, his breath hot against my skin. I swallowed a little, then took a sip from the Can of Coke in my hand.

"for what?" I asked, wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. Ares sighed once again.

"for what happened earlier" he retorted. I sighed, zipping up my mouth and not wanting to talk about it. The more I think about it, the more my mind drowns in a turmoil. It was in a confused state that it actually makes my head ache. But no matter how much I am dying to know what went wrong with Ares that time, I still kept mute, pretending to be engrossed in whatever the movie was talking about. By that time, I had completely lost interest in Netflix.

Ares is impossible......and he can't be too possible for you, darling - The girl's voice rang in my ears.

"I know it's hard for you, Leah" Ares's voice cuts through me. I closed my eyes and opened them.

"Hmm" I hummed. His fingers started playing with my hair, something he does to calm me down or make me feel comfortable or relaxed.

"there are a lot of things that are hidden in this world. Alot of things that you see, yet they are invisible. You are the only person who knows me better than anyone, yet you are the last person that would ever want to live with the beast inside me". His words were weakening and so was his tremendous voice. I turned my back around to look at him in the eyes, my eyebrows furrowing. Talk about confusion. What was he saying anyway....

"what do you mean?" I asked. He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear and half a smile, searching my face with his blanketed eyes.

"two can't play this game, Leah. I have to be the endgame of it"

"you're speaking in riddles, Ares" I bored. He rested his forehead against mine, cupping my cheeks.

"I know you find it difficult to understand me. I know you find it difficult to love me. But I just need to tell you that at a point, you'd find it impossible to love me. I'm not insane. There are a lot of things you don't know about me and most of them are better left unsaid. They are those things that made me the person I am. You don't need to be scared of me. Even the beast in me better knows not to hurt you only rather pet you and cherish you. I would never hurt you. Not even with a g*n to my head, Leah. With time Leah, you would know all these things. But at the right time, just bear with me and try to understand me. I love you so much and I can never hurt you. Please stay with me and don't walk out of my life. Without you, death would be life for me. We can work through it together. I'd give you everything. Just don't walk away-"

I cut off his romantic speech with a soft kiss. I pulled away and my hand to his cheek, taking moments to savour the sweetness of his lips.

"there is one thing you didn't get correct, Your Majesty" I pointed out. Ares threw back his head a little and laughed.

"oh really? And what's that?" he asked, squeezing my hips gently and biting his lips, his eyes full of love and admiration.

"whatever happens between us, it can never be impossible to love you. What seems impossible is me leaving you. What seems impossible is my life without you. Because as long as there's no you, there's no me. I don't know how to make you understand this but Ares, you are the other half of me. In fact, you are my whole. Cause you are the only person my heart beats for. You are the only person who I ever want to love. You are the only person I ever want to want. No matter how bad things get with you, I'd never leave. Instead, I'd embrace it together with you. I don't know if I have to get those words imprinted at the walls of your brain. I ran away once, because I was afraid. But when I run away this time, it's to get to where you are, Your Majesty"