INSANE (Book one)

Chapter 16

Song for this chapter: There you are by Zayn

Ares Knight

Humming a random song that seems to always be on my mind these days, I opened the car door and got out a little too quickly. A spell of dizziness hits me and I wobbled a little, holding onto my forehead. It seemed like the two day rest I got when I went to the mountain shack eased my sickness, but it didn't heal it. I was hell bent on not going to the hospital, and I wasn't going no matter what. Sighing, I walked over the other side of the car and pulled out Reina inside her baby carrier. Her dark innocent eyes glints in the sunlight and a soft breeze that blew whipped over her golden blonde hair. I smiled down at her.

"you are a true beauty, Queen" I awed, walking into the building of my company. My phone rang just as Reina squealed when we entered.

"dada!" she chirped. All eyes turned to me, the Boss with the baby. I ignored my awestruck employees and just continued to make my call.

"oh man, she's so cute!"

"oh my God, she's a beauty"

"she looks just like him"

"oh my dear, look at the eyes!"

"dammit, he sure has something to be proud of"

The comments went on and on, and I pretended to be so engrossed in the phone call I was making. Dean had texted me earlier that he went to the port to pick up a package and also, one of my employees called in sick for the day. I think it was the person in charge of the print office. I had never been so glad to reach my office. I set Reina down on the plush couch in my large office then plopped myself against my desk, exhausted for no certain reason. After a deep breath, I willed myself to work. After thirty minutes, I got a check sent through my email. It was supposed to be a printout sent to my mother under my name but it was mistaken. I sighed in annoyance. Now I had to go to print it out and send it to her. And I had to do it myself because I trusted no one with it comes to my real family. My public image was simple: my parents died a year ago.

I looked over at Reina her doe eyes were wondering over the ceiling I got up slowly and walked over to the couch then picked her up. I walked out the door, gave my receptionist a mere nod and took the elevator all the way down to the third floor where the print office was located. I got in and set Reina down on the occupied desk littered with paper. I left her busy mumbling baby squeals and sounds. She was going to be very talkative I can tell, just like her mother. I started whistling incomprehensive tones as I prepared the printer. It was was an easy work, but I preferred to be the boss. My ringtone went off and I pulled it out my phone from the pocket of my suit jacket, seeing Dean's name flashing on the screen. I glanced momentarily at Reina before walking out and answering the call.

"what's up, bro? You there yet?" I greeted, leaning against the wall. I heard the horns and the sound of air whipping around.

"oh man, this is bad! This is so bad, Ares!" he shrieked, tyres screeching. My heart skipped a beat.

"what? What happened?" I asked in alarm, pushing off the wall. Horns blared again.

"s**t! Jasmine, Ares! She ran away. She ran away with Austin and she threw away her phone to cut off the tracker!" he grimaced.

My mind swirled and my heart stopped for a beat. The dizziness came back. My heart began to beat again but it was like it wanted to break out of my rib cage.

"oh f**k! Holy s**t! Oh God!" I babbled, running my hands through my hair, my vision blurring.

"I can't find her, Ares. I'm so f*****g scared right now!" he complained tearfully. But we can't just sit around and do nothing.

"Dean we must find her. Meet me back at the house when you come back. I'm gonna rip that scum into f*****g pieces" I gritted, my knuckles whitening.

"I'll f*****g kill him". I cut off the communication and ran my hands through my hair.

"oh Jaz, what have you gotten yourself into?" I mumbled, my eyes welling up. I shook my head and blink back the tears. I decided to go back inside. I opened the door and my face fell, my heart sank.

Where's Reina?

I scurried inside and looked around frantically.

"Reina?!" I called in fear. I began looking under the desk. I left her right there!

"Reina!" I called again, my eyes widening in panic as reality hits me like a blow. "holy f*****g s**t!" I swore when I can't find her anywhere. I staggered back against the table, a sudden migraine hitting my head. Where is she?!

"holy mother- Holy f**k! s**t! Reina!" I shouted. I sprinted out the door with super human speed. I was running, running like my life depended on it or like I was losing my mind. I hadn't even realized I've reached the last floor until I bumped into an employee hard.

"Reina!" I called, tearfully. This is some sick game. Where's my f*****g baby?! - I thought as I pushed people around. But then it hit me: where am I even running to?

"Boss are you okay?" Kayla, my receptionist asked when I fell to the ground the migraine getting the best of me. My temperature was high, I couldn't think straight. My sister and now my baby. 

"get the f**k away from me!" I bellowed, standing up and walking right out the glass entrance.

**********

Leah Knight

I walked into the house with a smile on my face, the rubber under my shoe squeaky against the floor. That day was fun. Bianca's kids were really welcoming and I was so happy. I told Bianca to stay back for the weekend with her kids and this could be a time off for her. She needs to rest. I walked into the living room and a pang of fear hits my chest, but later the smile returned when I realized it was Ares that was sitting on the couch.

"hello Your Majesty" I cooed, walking up to him. His body was rigid and it was as if he had zoned out.

"earth to Ares" I called, waving my hand over his face. But when he snapped out of it, I realized his eyes were bloodshot. I frowned.

"Ares are you okay?" I asked in concern. His hair was a tousled mess, a sign that he had been running his hands through it. His clothes were rumbled and it was as if he was holding back thousand years. Jeez, what happened to him?

"Ares" I called to get his attention. I find myself doing that a lot. He stood up suddenly and engulfed me in a hug, burying his face in my neck.

"what's wrong, babe?" I asked, suddenly afraid. But then it hit me like a thunderstorm. I didn't hear Reina's cry.

"Ares where's Reina?" I questioned, fear gripping me. He kept quiet for long, just rocking us back and forth with me in his arms. Something is not right here.

"could you just f*****g say something?" I murmured.

"I'm so sorry" he croaked out, his voice thick. Okay, he's scaring the s**t out of me! I pulled away from him. What's going on?

"Ares what is it? Where's Reina?" I rushed, panicking. He looked down not being able to find his voice.

"I can't find her". It was barely a whisper, but I heard him loud and clear. My breathing became heavy, my heart pace quickening.

"what do you- what? What do you mean you can't- you can't find- What........." I babbled incoherently, staggering back. He kept silent.

"Ares where is she? Where's my baby?!" I yelled, tears welling up my eyes. He didn't answer me and I got my response.

"Ares f*****g say something!" I screamed, eyes blurring.

"I can't find her! I've looked everywhere, she's been stolen. It's a sick game being played-". I shoved him in his chest.

"a game with my f*****g baby?! Do you have any idea how I feel right now? Just one day, Ares. One f*****g day that you couldn't handle! Is it that hard to just f*****g stay with her and keep an eye on her?!" I yelled angrily, beating his chest repeatedly and I cried.

"Leah I didn't know how it happened. I tried-"

"you tried what, Huh?! I can't believe you, Ares. You don't how hard I've tried!. I raised her by myself. All by my f*****g self! I was in the emergency room for 12 f*****g hours all alone! I fell down the stairs all alone. I called 911 while I was still f*****g bleeding. I lost a f*****g-" I shoved him again "bag of blood! You don't know what I've been through. Because you were never there for me. And just a f*****g day, you lose my baby. I'm a mother, Ares. You know what? I don't even blame you! You had no brothers or sisters, you had no one! You were the only child. How can I expect you to know what I've been through? You're sick in the head" .

With one last shove, I ran upstairs, tears streaming down my face like a f*****g waterfall. I locked the door to our room and slid down the floor against it, crying my heart out. I felt so much for Reina right now. I couldn't even think straight! I couldn't even imagine what she's going through. She was just almost a year old. Almost. I felt really bad and worried. But mostly, I felt like s**t for talking to Ares that way. I crawled away from the door then got up while holding vanity table for support. I carried Reina's picture that was on the table and peered into it, zoning out. But after a long stare at her dark eyes that looked exactly like his, I slid down on the floor with tears on my face.

"oh baby" I cried, touching the photo. I held it close to my chest and cried myself to sleep.

Ares Knight

I walked into my home office with the teddy bear that Eros gave Reina grasped in my hand, deathly calm. I shut my door behind me and went over my desk, dropping the teddy bear on the floor.

*play song*

I was so calm about everything, I was almost afraid of what would come next. No. I wanted what would come next. I was looking forward to it. I was excited. I grabbed the matches on the desk and lit it before throwing it on the teddy bear. I leaned against the desk, legs crossed, pouring myself a glass of drink and quietly sipped it as I wares the teddy bear burn.

you have no brothers............you're sick in the head.......you have no one............i don't blame you.............

Gripping the glass tightly, I smashed it against the wall and it shattered into a thousand pieces, just like my heart. The crackling and ugly smell of cotton burning in fire was sickening, awakening my monsters.

"Ahhhhh!!" I screamed and kicked the table making it trip and fall off the papers and stuffs on it. I allowed myself to shed the tears. Tears of a long time ago that had been caged in me. Eros had f****d up big time. I knew it was him. I know it, I just had that nagging feeling that it was him. And I was sure as f**k going to kill him.

I leaned back against the table, heads to the ceiling with my eyes closed. Leah was right, I was sick in the head.

mommy do you think I'm insane?.............you're a precious child Ares, not at all insane................ Ares what have you done?............. Ares stop!.................... Please Ares, my baby................ You're f*****g sick in the head

The last thread holding onto my sanity snapped. Grabbing the photo frame on the desk that was tilted, I threw it against the mirror. I grabbed my laptop and threw it to the glass window. All I could hear was the shattering of glass against the tiled floor. It was sickening and the monster in me loved it. I thrashed my home office, smashing and hitting things. At a point, I began banging my head hard against the wall and punching my fists into it when I realized in had nothing else to destroy but myself.

But I couldn't feel the pain anymore. I could only feel the pain in me from the monster breaking free, and the pain in my heart as it was ripped in half. I willed myself to cry my heart out, screaming at the top of my lungs. I pressed my back against the wall, my eyebrows, forehead and knuckles bleeding as I slid down the wall. I pulled my knees to my chest sobbing, feeling so vulnerable and feeling like the seven year old a long time ago. I had idea who to save.

My sister or my baby.

It was like 2005 all over again. The migraine came back with full force, my sickness attacking me once more. Right then, my only wish was to die. My situation was complicated, dreading. I was awfully sick, my sister ran away with a bastard, my baby got kidnapped and my wife hates me. I wonder why life would take its toll on me in just a day. Just a day and everything is completely out of control.

I was out of control

"Ares?..........." her voice was like a broken tingling sensation to my ears. I pulled my face from my knees and looked up at her. She was looking around the thrashed room I once called an organized office. Glasses broke under her sneakers as she slowly approached me. I struggled to get up from the floor, using the wall for support. She stood in front of me with innocent teary sunset eyes, all red and puffy. My greatest weakness was her tears. I hated seeing her cry, it creates a physical pain to me that even if you cut out my heart and feed it to me, it would probably be less hurtful. Before I could say anything, she engulfed me in a hug. Automatically, I wrapped my arms around her to give her comfort.

I've f****d up big time.

*end song*

"I'm so sorry" she weeped, her voice rough. "I shouldn't have said what I said earlier, it was so cruel of me-"

"no, Leah no. You wouldn't take back any of your words. I'm the monster here. You were right. I didn't know how it felt like to have a family. I had only you. No brothers, no sisters, no nothing! All because I threw them away. I'm a bad person Leah, I keep telling you. I'm a monster". She pulled away and cupped my cheeks in her hands, her face red like tomatoes from too much weeping.

"I told you to stop saying that" she complained, sniffing. I stared into her eyes, she has the right to know.

"you don't know what I've done, Leah. Don't trust me too much" I mumbled sadly, taking away her hands from my face and leaning against the sorry excuse for a table.

"then tell me, Ares. What got you feeling so bad about yourself?". She stood in front of me with crossed arms.

I sighed when I realized it was time to tell her the story.......