What have we became?

Too much pain, too much blood

KATHERINE POV

"You won't do anything to me, you're all barks and no bite. Why don't you cut the act and call your daddy for help?" Rivera spits out little bits of blood while talking, I must have broke something. Good. 

"Calling my dad would mean no fun. He will put a bullet between your eyes. Clean and quick. But the thing is, I want you to suffer." I'm talking as calm as I can, regulating my breath, enjoying every bit of adrenaline that runs throughout my body. I keep walking in circles.

"I'm not gonna talk." Rivera barks like the dog that he is, now more than ever, chained to the wall and beaten up. It just makes me smile, how hard is he trying. 

"We'll see about that. But first thing first, I want to show you my Christmas present. This knife, really cute, isn't it? And sharp as hell!" I run the tip of the knife on the palm of my hand and Rivera is watching every move I make. I make a step closer, caressing his cheek with the blade. I can see my own reflection his is dull eyes, a sinister look and an empty smile.

"You're not scaring me, little bitch." He shakes me off, in a desperate attempt to get away from me. It's fascinating how men defend their pride, even when this leads to death.

"Do you know how to skin an animal for his fur?" I get back on my track, walking around the room, playing again with the knife in my hand. With calm and measured steps, I want to drive him f*****g crazy.

"... w-what?" Rivera goes even paler than before, and I can feel a smile of satisfaction on my mouth. Finally, I broke in.

"You start from the ends of the limbs, wrists and ankles, cut a circle all around and then pull the skin up, ripping it from the flesh." I kneel down in front of him, a few inches away, running the tip of my knife on is arm, up and down. He's sweating and shivering. 

"I'm gonna ask it one more time. Who sent you?" I whisper in his ear and then I look directly in his eyes. but he spits in my face. Oh, wrong move. I tilt my head and smile. I suddenly snap and pull the hair on his nape, making Rivera's head tilt in an unnatural position.

"As you wish, sweetheart. I'm really happy about the choice you made. I have some steam to blow off anyway and staying in a hospital room for more than a week is not so fun." I block his left arm on the wall and dig my knife in the skin, starting to shape the circle. Blood begins to flow on my hands and he screams as I complete the circle on his wrist. Tears roll down his face but he won't look up.

"Should I start pulling? Or you're gonna tell me what I want to know?" I press my hand on the deep cut to stop the bleed.

"I'm n-not..." He shakes his head and I interrupt his sentence right away.

"Wrong answer." I slide two fingers under the skin and I grab it, tearing it slowly apart from the muscles. His screams fill the room and I bet that everyone in this house can hear them. 

"STOP! STOP PLEASE!" Rivera trows his head to the ceiling, the veins on his neck are on the verge of exploding, his face couldn't be more red.

"What? I didn't hear you. " I shout above his screams and keep pulling his skin. All the anger and the sadness come to surface. It's his fault that I'm injured, it's his fault if Nathan hates me now. I let his arm go as he think that this is over I stab him in the shoulder, right where he shot me, with all of my strength.

"AAAARRRGHHHH" He crashes against the wall and looks terrified at his wrist. I turn the knife before roughly taking it off. Blood runs down his shirt to the floor, covering the tiles.

"Still nothing?" He's breathing heavily but doesn't talk, so I slam the other arm to the wall and jab the knife through his hand. It gets stuck in the concrete. Then a start pouncing and pouncing him in the stomach, where the other bullet hit me. Rivera is on the verge of trowing up when I stop and take is chin in my hand, squeezing his face. I force him to look at me in the eyes.

"Have an answer for me?" I whisper slowly and as I reach for his arm again his eye widen.

"T-Torres.. I work for him." I stop my hand mid air and turn back at him with a big smile.

"Good boy. If you go on like this I will stop ok?" He nods, or more like shakes his head the best he can. I step back and grab a towel, wrapping it around the arm. 

"Start talking. How did you know me?" I take a gauze and press it on the shoulder, stopping the bleed. 

"I didn't know. No one knows your face, but I do know your father. I searched the dock until I saw you, you two look so much alike. But the other guy saw me, so before he could do anything I shot him. You were too far away to hear him falling." I blink a couple of time. Is it possible that someone else recognized me? I cannot let that happen. I will search his equipment and his phone for photos.

"Ok. Now I want you to tell me everything you know about Torres. Private life, headquarter, safe houses, shipments, allies. s**t like that." I take a deep breath, recomposing myself. I've got s**t to do.

"The hell it's gonna happen." He shakes his head. Yet another wrong answer. I rip off the gauze and blood starts to flow again as he groans in pain. Good.

"Oh, I'm fine with that." I smile and he looks at me terrified. I remove the towel from his arm, grab his skin again and I throw a fist on his heart, where was the third bullet. 

"YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD STOP!" He's shaking uncontrollably, breathless, anticipating the pain.

"It was you that broke the deal, my love." I dig my fingers again under the flesh and it's like opening a waterfall. Dark blood flows down, creating a red pool around us.

"I'll talk! I'll talk! Just stop!" He screams his lungs out and I twist my fingers a couple to times before pulling the out. I cover his wrist with the towel again and he starts singing like a bird. Torres is so screwed right now. 

"This is everything I know. Are you going free me now?" I burst into laughter and he freezes with his mouth open.

"You're so funny!" I pat him on the shoulder, digging my thumb in the wound left by the knife.

"But we had a deal!" He cries and tears up.

"I never said that I would free you. But I want you to always remember me, even in the afterlife." I stroke his cheek, offering sweet smile.

"W-What do you mean?" I remove the knife that I left in his hand and I carve the shape of KM on his forehead. He screams and shakes but I pull his hair to keep his head still.

"YOU ARE A MONSTER!" I raise my knife and I stab him in the heart mid-scream. I twist it and look directly in Rivera eyes, watching the life leave his body. His head falls on his chest and I step back.

"Goodnight sweetie, see you in hell."

MARCUS POV

The screams stops and I hear the door being unlocked, I froze. Katherine comes out slowly and I can't believe at my eyes. Fresh blood dripping from her hands, blood on her clothes, face and hair. She grabs a towel and wipe her hands like if it was water. 

"There's something on Torres here, listen to it. I'm going to take shower and then go to bed. Please, tell dad that I'm tired and I don't wanna talk about this s**t ok?" Kate hands me a recorder and look at me with a completely empty gaze.

"Sure Katie.." She nods and heads upstairs, with measured steps, calmly, like nothing ever happened. I watch her leave and stand there speechless. Katherine has just tortured and murdered a man in a horrific way and acted like a robot.

"Boss?" I answer the phone with trembling hands.

"How's the situation?" Even Boss' voice seems hesitant, we both know what she's capable of when rage takes over her.

"She just left Boss. You won't believe what I saw, it seemed like Katherine jumped in a pool of blood. And I'm not joking." I hear a sigh and I can picture him, closing his eyes and running his finger through his gray hair.

"And the man?" Oh no. The hell I am gonna go in there.

"I have not watched yet, Boss." My voice trembles, these kind of thing doesn't bother me, I can stand blood and death. It's just.. how can my little Katie do such things?

"Take a look, please Marcus." That 'please' doesn't mean anything, I know that's an order. I gulp and slowly lean over to see and I drop my phone. The blood has almost arrived to the door of the cell and she even marked him on the forehead.

"Marcus?! What the hell is going on??" I quickly pick up my phone, before the blood reaches it.

"Come here Boss. It's worse than the last time." Jesus. f*****g. Christ. That girl is a war machine.

KATHERINE POV 

I stay in the shower as long as I can, until the tip of my fingers are wrinkled, till the water stops to be red. I'm feeling completely empty. I'm a monster, no wonder why Nathan hates me. I don't deserve a guy like him, and he deserves a good girl. But why we can't let go each other? I feel a massive hole in my chest. And it hurts every second, every breath that I take. Oh Nathan.. the biggest fear is that eventually you'll see me the way I see myself. I drag my emotionless body to bed, I'm exhausted. I'm falling asleep when I hear my phone buzzing. Who the f**k is now? 

"Hello?" I couldn't sound any more annoyed.

"Hey stranger.. " f**k.

NATHAN POV

I hear her gasping for air, then silence.

"Are you there?" I'm walking in circles in my room, maybe I shouldn't have called. But then her voice came to me. 

"Y-Yes, I'm here." just a trembling whisper, not at all like the Katherine I know.

"I thought you hated me:" Hate?! I care about you so much that it hurts. I bite my lower lip to stop my word. 

"Yeah about that.. I wanted to talk to you." I take a deep breath and stop in front of my window, London's lights dancing all around, the Tames reflecting everything seems almost alive.

"This doesn't sounds good. But I'm listening." Her voice is suddenly harsh.

"It's not fair what we're doing to each other." I collect all my strength and spit the word out as fast as I can.

"What do you mean?" Her tone cuts like a knife, this is the Katherine that I know. The whisper from before is completely gone.

"I'm keeping you on your toes, waiting for me to come back. I'm not yours and you're not mine, I can't expect you to act like if you were. And you neither." I close my eyes and I hear her breathing.

"Nathan.." I raise my hand in the air, like if she was here with me. I can almost see her beautiful face reflecting in the glass window.

"Let me finish Katie, please. " I shake my head. s**t. Don't get carried away, She always has this effect.

"What I'm trying to say is, why don't we take this time we have alone to think and clear our mind?" The phrase comes out hesitant and she stays silent for a while. Then I hear her sigh. 

"Maybe you're right.. I'm not exactly able to think straight when your here. " She skips a breath, almost like she talked before thinking. I didn't think that I had this much of power on her. Her presence his so strong, even if we're miles away. She's always with me. 

"Maybe you'll be able to realize that I'm not the girl for you." She goes on and regain control of herself. Her voice is cold, it doesn't even sound like hers. My heart drops in my chest. 

"I didn't said that." But Kate cuts me off right away.

"I know, I'm saying it. I want you in my life Nathan, but I don't want to hurt you, you deserve the best in this world." I can't and won't let her finish. That's not what I meant.

"Katherine, don't push me away." Another sigh on the other side of the phone, this time is out of exasperation.

"I'm not pushing you away. You're my best friend Nathan, one of the most wonderful people I've ever meet. I'm not used to feel this powerless and emotional!" Her voice grows higher and she's almost screaming at the end of the phrase. I open and close my mouth before recollecting my thoughts.

"It's me? It's because of me that you feel like that? " I hold my breath till I hear her voice, gone back to just a whisper.

"Yes, you make all my emotions run wild Nathan. And it's not like me. I don't want to ruin our friendship, seriously, it means too much for me." I close my eyes. Be strong, cut this f*****g string.

"And for me too Katie. So, what are we now?" I shake my head in denial. Who am I kidding?

"We're best friend. Two smoking hot best friends!" She tries to laugh but I can feel that it is forced.

"I have to sleep now Nat, it's been a pretty exhausting day here. Goodnight." Kate hangs up before I can say anything and I stare at the screen of my phone like a dumbass. I'm happy with this? Absolutely not. I'm feeling any better after what I did this past weeks? Absolutely not. I lay in my bed, staring at the ceiling. And now?

KATHERINE POV

I open my eyes as the light shines through the curtains. My body is aching so bad. All the adrenaline of yesterday has left me and my wounds are screaming now. The hole in my chest is still there, still huge as hell, but at least Nathan won't get hurt now. It's for the best. Keep that in mind Katherine.

*A few days later.*

"You're kidding me right now Katherine Morgan Moore." Maddie screams through the phone in a desperate try to overcome the ocean's sound. 

"Unfortunately, Maddie, no. But you know it too, it's for the best. I got distracted on that mission because of him and what happened? I almost died and he suffered." I'm sitting on the window sill, swinging my legs from the third floor in the hot summer air. 

"Yeah, I know. By the way, what happened to that sick bastard who shot you? " I gaze around, San Francisco is sparkling in the distance under the sunset warm light.

"I dealt with him, don't worry." I gulp trying to not get angry again.

"Was it that bad?" Maddie is hesitant, she never asked something like this before. And I won't tell a word, I don't want to lose my best friend too.

"You don't wanna know Maddie."

*The next day.*

I can't sleep, I can't focus on anything, I barely eaten the past few days, since I tortured Rivera and spoke with Nathan. Everyone is going crazy over me, they treat me like a ticking bomb, and I feel like one. I shut out the world, no emotions, like a zombie. All I can think is Nathan, his words, my words and everything seems so wrong. After everything that he said and did, how could he accept my words so easily?

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK 

"Can I come in?" I look at the door and Marcus head pops out with a big smile.

"Yeah." I roll my eyes and turn back, letting my gaze wandering in the horizon.

"There are leftovers if you want. " He places a tray on my nightstand and comes closer to me, slowly, like you would do with a wounded animal.

"No thanks." I cut him of and turn my back at him, my stomach is closed shut, my head is pounding and I just want to be left alone.

"Katie.." Marcus put his hand on my shoulder and, like he pressed the big red button in movies, I'm going to explode.

"What?! What do you want from me?! Leave me alone!" I snap and turn around, slapping his hand away from me.

"That's it! I'm sick of you behaving like that! You need to react for God's sake!" He grabs me by my shoulders and almost shakes me, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"Why?! Tell me, why?! I've nothing left. I can't train, I can't go on missions, I can't leave this f*****g house and I have this huge weight on my chest, I feel like drowning!" I clench his shirt in my fists and I shout at him, an inch from his face. He pushes me away and almost growls in anger, running his finger thru oxygenated hair. He then points his index finger at me.

"That's not the Katherine I know! Stop complaining and start to get your s**t together!" I try to slap Marcus but he blocks my hand a few inches from his face. We're staring at each other with so much anger, still holding the position. I don't know what, but something inside me switches on. I pull Marcus on me crashing my lips on his. He grabs me by my waist, squeezing my hips, while I run my fingers through his hair. Everything is so rough, passionate, but then..

"Katherine, stop." He breaks the kiss and looks deeply in my eyes, he never rejected me.

"What?" I'm panting, while his hazel eyes search my soul.

"What's going on?" I shake my head, I really don't want to talk right now.

"I don't know what you're talking about." Marcus' eyes narrow, digging deep inside of me but I look away.

"Cut the act. Talk to me, you don't have to hide." He cups my face in his hands, his soft touch is my breaking point, I just can't take it anymore, he looks so worried. I burst in tears, covering my face, I'm so ashamed now. I feel him hugging me, stroking my hair, and I cling to his shirt sobbing out of control.

" Katie.. calm down. Talk to me, I'm here for you." I sink into his chest I tell him about my phone call with Nathan, how mad he was but how easily he let me cut the thing off between us. 

"I did what I did to Rivera cause my disappearance had ruined thing between me and Nathan. I poured all my anger on him. I'm a m-monster Marcus, I'm a f*****g monster. " I let go of him and start walking like a desperate around the room.

"Shh, calm down pretty face. He deserved to die for what he did to you." Marcus follows every move I make, looking me with all the affection that I ever seen. Affection that I don't deserve.

"Yeah, die. Not suffer the pains of hell. You saw the state he was in, did you? And you know what the worst part is? I enjoyed watching the life leaving his eye! I'm evil Marcus." I groan and fall on my bed, taking my head in my hands.

"You regret the way you made Rivera suffer?" I feel Marcus sitting beside me and placing his arm around my shoulders. I nod in response.

"This means that you're non evil Katherine. This means that you have a kind heart. You have to learn just how to control it." I look up to him through the tears. A blurry version of him is kindly smiling at me.

"Thank you Marcus, for being my friend." I lean on him and he strokes my hair.

"It's a pleasure, beautiful." I giggle and look in his dazzling eyes.

"I'm not your beautiful." I glare at him but can't help it and smile when his face light up.

"There you are, this is the Katherine I know!"

MARCUS POV 

It's been a month and an half since the shooting and after my conversation with Katherine, she slowly started to go back to normal. She has regained weight and apologized to everyone for her behavior. We started to train again one week ago and she seems pretty determined to kick my ass asap. And I have to admit that it's getting harder and harder to beat her, she's improving faster than I thought.

" Are you ready little girl? " We're at the gym, stretching our muscles. Kate is staring at me, the light of the dare in her eyes.

"Bring it on." We begin circling each other, never breaking eye contact. Katherine does a fake on top and I don't realize the fist that comes crashing on my stomach, taking my breath away. Holy s**t!