Nothing but Trouble

Chapter 16

CHAPTER 16

YESTERDAY, I THOUGHT I had a headache. Now I knew the truth. That wasn’t a headache; it was a mere ripple on a millpond compared to the tsunami raging between my ears this morning. Whose idea had it been to drink all that wine? If I remembered I’d be having a few choice words with them.

I had two priorities. Coffee and painkillers. And was that bacon I smelled? I lurched out of bed and stumbled towards the kitchen. Annabel was coming the other way, her face like thunder.

“Oh, look what the cat dragged in.”

I’m sure I looked a fright, but there was no need for her to be so blunt about it. “Good morning to you, too.”

“Had a good night last night, did you? Trying to punch above your weight’s never a good idea.”

“Sorry?” What was she talking about?

“With Connor. He may only be a stable lad, but even he would never stoop down to the gutter.”

My face must have betrayed my confusion, because she just laughed at me, a drop of spit landing on my cheek.

“Bloody hell, you really are as stupid as you look. You can embarrass yourself by getting drunk with Connor, you can follow Connor around like a lovesick puppy, and he might even take pity on you and f**k you, but you’ll never have Connor. You might as well stop living in your fantasy world and get over yourself.”

I was left open-mouthed as she stomped off.

Was I being that obvious? I hadn’t thought about it, hell, I hadn’t thought about anything last night. My synapses stopped firing after my first pint of grape juice, but did my subconscious? Had it gone on a hormone-fuelled rampage? I sagged back against the wall, shaking. Did I like Connor? Yes, I had to admit that despite his faults, of which I could compile a double-sided list, I did. Something about him drew me in and fired me up, made me clench my thighs together to relieve the ache between them whenever he was near.

But Annabel was right, wasn’t she? Connor was the sun and I was a moth. I’d burn up before I got anywhere near him.

Suddenly, I didn’t want paracetamol any more, or coffee. I wanted to cry. I made it back to my room before the first tear fell then crawled back into bed and soaked my pillow.

Soft knocking disturbed me a few minutes later. “I’m...” sniff, “busy.”

“Too busy for a bacon sandwich?” Connor’s muffled voice came from the other side of the door.

Oh heck, I couldn’t let him see me like this. My nose was running, and I hadn’t combed my hair. I always looked as if I’d stuck a finger in the mains in the mornings, and with my hangover, the effect had to be worse than usual.

But I really, really liked bacon.

“Could you leave it outside?”

“Sure. I’ll just set it down on the floor.”

I waited until I heard his footsteps walking away, then shuffled over and opened the door.

“You bastard. You snuck back.”

He held the plate just out of my reach, looking better than should be legal at that time of the day.

“I heard what she said,” he said softly.

I couldn’t meet his eyes. All I wanted to do was slam the door, but he blocked it with his foot. Sodding bacon sandwich. My appetite had fled, and I didn’t even want it any more.

Connor took a step, forcing me backwards. And another, and another, until the back of my knees hit the bed and I fell onto it. There was a clatter as he dropped the plate onto the nightstand.

“Look at me.”

I couldn’t. They say eyes are the window to the soul, and I didn’t want him to see mine.

“Look at me, Ella.” He reached down and tilted my chin so I had no choice. He saw me in all my tear-streaked glory.

“Annabel’s a b***h and she’s a bully, and she believes the world should fall at her feet. When I didn’t, she took it out on you. She talks s**t, and you need to ignore her.”

“I don’t know why she’s so upset. It’s not like she wanted to take you home to meet the family.” I paused. “Sorry, I shouldn’t have said that, but it’s true.”

“She told you that?”

“I overheard her talking to Felicity.”

His laughter wasn’t what I expected. “Babe, no girl wants me to meet their mother. Well, one girl did, only her mother was divorced and as soon as her daughter went out the room, she grabbed my junk and told me I should pick vintage over Beaujoulais Nouveau.”

I tried to laugh and ended up choking as my throat had gone dry. After my coughing fit subsided, I wiped my eyes. “She never said that?”

“Swear it’s the truth.”

“What did you do?”

He stared at the wall and let out a thin breath. “Tried the vintage.”

My jaw dropped. “Are you serious?”

“As a coronary.” His tortured sigh tugged at my heart. “Ella, I’m not one of the good guys. My life’s a train wreck, and I’ve hurt more people than I can count.” He ended on a whisper. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

My voice came out as a croak, which was fitting as I was the frog nobody would ever kiss. “There is good in you. I’ve seen it.”

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “Eat your breakfast, Ella. I’ll see you outside when you’re ready.”

Eating the bacon sandwich was like chewing leather wrapped in cotton wool. Nothing to do with Connor’s cooking, more my state of mind. If it hadn’t been him who made it, I’d have dropped it straight in the bin.

As it was, I abandoned it halfway favour of crawling into bed again, but the second I pulled the duvet over my head my phone beeped with a message.

Terry: Mike came round again. He thinks you’re avoiding him. I’m supposed to be meeting him for a beer tonight—what should I say?

Great—I’d managed to block Mike and Terry from my mind for a couple of days, but now they lined up front and centre again. Why couldn’t they both just leave me alone? I started a new list to go alongside Edith’s for when I got back, and evicting Terry came at the top of it. Yes, Grant had offered to help, but he’d already dealt with enough of my mess.

Mike, well, I had no idea how to get rid of him, but I kept my fingers crossed something would come to me over the next seven days.

And while I was thinking about home, I needed to call Jaz. We usually went out every week, and I’d missed her. That and I wanted to check Stevie hadn’t burnt the house down.

“Hang on a sec,” she said as soon as she picked the phone up.

In the background I heard her chiding Stevie, then she came back. “He’s worked out how to unstrap himself from his buggy. Every time I turn my back he’s escaped again.” I pictured her tearing at her hair. “Do you think they make straitjackets in an extra small?”

“Social Services might get upset about that.” Although they hadn’t cared when one of my foster brothers set fire to my hair, or when my foster mother locked me in my room and forgot me for two days.

“I know, you’re right. Sometimes I just don’t know what to do with him.”

“I’m sure it won't last forever.” Was being possessed something a child grew out of?

“I hope not. I’m getting to the end of my tether. Amir and I tried to go out for dinner yesterday, but Stevie bawled so loudly we got asked to leave before the main course came out.”

“I’ll babysit for a night when I get back.” I’d regret it, like I did every other time, but Jaz was always there for me so I braved Stevie at least twice a month.

“You would? That’s fantastic. I’ll have something to look forward to.”

And I’d have something to dread. Last time I’d spent an evening with Stevie, the little devil chewed one of my new ballet pumps. “Of course I will.”

“So how are the horses?” Jaz asked, sounding a bit brighter.

“I’ve been riding a mare called Folly. She’s a sweetheart.” I filled Jaz in on everything except Connor then rang off with a promise to get together for a catch up as soon as I got back.

Okay, I’d successfully wasted half an hour. Connor had been waiting for ages, but I couldn’t face him. What did one say after a revelation like his? He made out he was the devil, but I’d felt the flutter of his wings.

Instead of venturing outside, I picked up my phone again and fired off a message to Grant and Todd, just a quick text to let them know everything was fine. I even included a photo Connor had snapped of me on Folly yesterday, just to prove I really had been on a horse.

Then I did the same with Demi. She’d be asleep after working the late shift, but at least I wasn’t ignoring her.

Foot tapping, I scrolled through the menus on my phone, but it was no good. I’d run out of friends and excuses.

Mouth furry and skin greasy, I stumbled through to the bathroom, then stifled a scream when I caught sight of myself in the mirror. Not only did I look like I’d been standing in a wind tunnel, my face reminded me of a coal miner after a twelve-hour shift. Whoever said that brand of mascara was waterproof should have been done for false advertising.

And what was more, Connor saw me like that.

I shook my head, tangled blonde rat-tails flapping around my face. What did it matter? I wasn’t a fine wine, anyway. I was more… Ribena.

When I swallowed the last of my pride and ventured outside, Connor was cinching up Folly’s girth. I tried to smile at him, but I don’t think I pulled it off.

“Are you ready to ride?” His voice held a tightness that hadn’t been there yesterday.

“I guess.”

I got on by myself using the mounting block then Connor drilled me through more exercises. Turn this way, go that way, speed up, slow down. It might have been repetitive, but each time I did it, it got a little bit easier.

Apart from cantering, that was. I still bounced like a sack of potatoes every time I tried it.

“How do you get your bum to stay in the saddle?” I asked Connor.

“Practice, that’s all. We’ll go out for a hack later, and you can try a longer canter in a straight line. That way you won’t have to think about anything but your position.”

And not falling off, of course.

“How’s it going?” Jenny asked over lunch. We’d staggered ours so the Uglies ate first and we didn’t have to talk to them.

“Good, apart from cantering. That’s a disaster.”

“You know the secret, don’t you?”

I shook my head. “What secret?” If there was one, I’d have sold a kidney to find it out.

“A damn good shag the night before. Really opens your hips up.”

I spluttered apple juice onto my plate. Luckily Connor had stepped outside to make a phone call so he didn’t hear that little suggestion. “You’re kidding?”

“Not at all. I’ve always scored higher marks in dressage if we’ve gone for at least two rounds the night before.”

I glanced out of the window, where Connor was still pacing up and down with his mobile clasped to his ear. “Even if it did work, there’s a small flaw in that plan.”

She followed my gaze and smiled ruefully. “I wouldn’t suggest trying anything with Connor. He’s...well, he’s complicated. But there are plenty of nice guys in the village. How do you fancy a girls’ night out?”

I got her point about Connor, but was the alternative any better? “Last time I did that, I acquired Mike.”

“I know most of these guys. I’ll steer you clear of any weirdos.”

“You promise?”

“Cross my heart.”