The Fallen God's Redemption

Chapter 4: Shadows Test

Thicker than any shadow I had ever seen, the gloom in the Realm of Night was total. It seemed alive, sticking to my flesh, burrowing into my mind, casting doubt on all I thought of. It was not just darkness. Every step resonated in the nothingness, each sound twisted like someone was lurking right beyond my view.

The blade at my side pulsed gently, as though it detected the odd character of this location. Its dark force calling, providing strength and clarity in return for the control I so sorely craved, whispered to me. Keeping my hand motionless at my side, I battled the want to sketch it. I had to pick my moments carefully even though I would soon enough need its strength.

The shadows changed, gathering into almost human forms but not exactly as I descended deeper. Their shapes twisted and they moved in terrible quiet, their features blurring. Then I saw it: my own face, twisted in a cruel sneer mocking me with a sickening familiarity from the darkness.

A shiver crawled down my back. Though it was not me, it was me. The blade had awakened a part of me I had buried, this shadowy reflection.

The man sneered, stepping nearer with a hateful voice. "Do you remember me?"

I started to grind my teeth. "You are only a shadow with no power of its own-a twisted version of myself."

The shadow laughed-a dark, hollow sound resonating throughout the domain. "No power, you say? Maybe you forgot, Kaelan, but I was the one who kept you going when most required. I am the part of you that welcomed conflict, that delighted in conquering, that never wavered when life was destroyed along our path.

"You're nothing more than a ghost of what I once was," I spat, not allowing it to enter my head. "I've moved beyond you, beyond that."

"Moved beyond? The shadow grinned, inching forward with icy entertainment. "so why are you pursuing power once more in the Realm of Night? Though it's only a thin layer, you hang to your humanity. Strip it away, then you remain me.

It circled me, its piercing eyes unrelenting. And with every syllable, my own uncertainties felt weighty down on me. This environment, this trial-it was more than a test of will. It was a trial of identification, of the very core of who I was.

My voice steady but quiet, I continued, "I am not you."

Once more, the shadow chuckled, disparaging me with every gesture. Then prove it. Show me that you can face what is inside without giving in to it.

And with that, the shadows surrounding me started to change and turn, creating people from my past-faces I knew, lives I'd taken, comrades I'd abandoned in the service of power. Their voices crossed, a chorus of charges and denials.

"Did you believe you might get away from us?" One person snorted, its eyes ablaze with resentment.

Another murmured, a sick smile flickering on their lips: "You are nothing but a god of death."

I closed my eyes, inhaled steadily. These were leftovers, shadows of the past, nothing more. They couldn't damage me. But with every whisper, their words sank into my consciousness and undermined my will.

Feeling the familiar weight of my blade, its dark force thrumming against my skin, I held its hilt. Calling to me, it promised to quiet the voices that tormented me and offered release.

"Kaelan...."

Soft and familiar, my name sliced over the night like a lighthouse. I turned and my breath choked in my throat.

Just beyond my view there was a man covered in light. Her face hidden, she moved with an ethereal grace; nevertheless, I knew-I knew-it was Lyra. Her presence was like a salve, relieving the pain in my heart and quieting the whispers of uncertainty almost consuming me.

"Lyra?," My heart thumping, I stepped forward.

Her vision flickered, fading into darkness, leaving only a terrible echo of her voice as I approached though.

"Kaelan...

I stretched out, my hand hanging empty-air. She left just stillness and gloom behind her. My heart spun, a flood of desperation building inside me.

"Is her real?," asked I insisted, looking to the shadowed form of myself. Lyra is caught in this place?

The smile on the shadow was nasty. She is as real as the uncertainties you hold, Kaelan. She will also remain unreachable as long as you hang onto them.

I became enraged, a burning impulse to stop the voices, to escape this warped world and find her, to clasp her in my arms and swear never to abandon her again.

But I recalled Nyx's caution as my hand extended for the sword. To use it carelessly would be to turn into a monster of might without aim, strength without pity, the deity I once was.

Still, the shadows taunting, accusing, drove me to the verge. The power within the sword calling, begging me to release it, to embrace the darkness so much a part of me, felt within me.

"Did you really believe you might flee what you are?" The shadow stepped forward, its eyes shining with terrible gratification. "Your lovely humanity is a falsehood, Kaelan. You shall be a god of death always. You will always be my counterpart.

My mind racing, my hand clenched around the hilt of the blade. I recognized the reality of its words, the kernel of darkness inside me, a soul component that would never really vanish.

But there was also a memory, a promise. Lyra's face flashed before me; her smile, her warmth, her unflinching faith in the man I had selected to become.

Drawing the sword, I felt dark and seductive power flow through me. I did not let it, though, let me spiral. Rather, I concentrated on Lyra's memories, on the motivation behind my visit-that love had pushed me to reject gods and forsow power.

The shadows withdrew, hissing, their forms changing under the weight of my will. Neither was I the mortal I had become nor the divinity I used to be. I was something in between, a balance of power and goal, force and restraint.

And when I gazed at the warped mirror of myself, I saw it for what it really was-a shadow, a legacy of a past I had left behind.

"I am not you," I responded, my voice calm and full of the conviction I had battled so hard to locate. You also have no control over me.

The form of the shadow flicked, its eyes enlarging with something almost afraid. You believe you are able to reject me? You believe you can discard the blood on your hands, the life you have lived?

I moved forward, blade in hand, fixed sight. "I have no need for forgetting. I have to put things right. And you- "' Rising the blade, I felt the blackness pulse under my hand: "You are only a memory."

I swung the sword across the shadow one single, forceful move, feeling its form dissolve under the weight of my attack. The voices, the charges, the whispers-all stopped, leaving me in the dark by us.

But in that calm, I experienced peace not known since my fall. After confronting the worst side of myself, I came out stronger knowing exactly who I was and what I was ready to do.

The Realm of Night grew calm as the final traces of the shadows vanished, the weight lifting leaving only a quiet, constant resolve in its place.

She covered the knife and turned back toward the road ahead. Though I knew now that I would make it through, that I would face whatever challenges remained with the power of who I had grown to be, the Realm of Night was not yet behind me.

A voice chilly and far resonated in the darkness as I moved forward.

"Well done, Kaelan," she replied, her tone tinged with a disconcerting pleasure. But your next trial resides outside the Realm of Night. Then you will be deserving to use the actual power of your prior self.

My spine started to chill. Though the road ahead promised much more difficulty, I had barely survived this test.

Still, I pushed forth, ready to meet whatever lied beyond Lyra's face in my mind and the memory of my will fresh in my heart.