Monster's mate

Part XVI

Three weeks passed. Not once did I see him after - the incident. I was still in shock. I needed psychiatrist therapy. But there was no therapy here. Only empty walls and cold silence. Other alpha male wolves were serving me with great fear and with no questions asked about the incident. I could only guess what was their version of what happened that night. Did they thought that I, myself, cut the tongue of their leader? Or that he did it because I asked him to do it? Is that why they feared me? Because they thought I had power over him?  If they only knew the truth. Everyone in this place has more voice than me. Everyone has more freedom than I have. Every voice is more heard and respected by him than mine is. I am hopeless. 

I was tired of him not loving me. I was tired of me trying to get his affection. I won't try anymore. I am done. He won. His bloody and ripped tongue is still in front of my eyes. Is this my punishment? 

I went in one of eight kitchens in this place that was only used by me and well- him. So many kitchens and not one is only mine. With every going inside of any of the kitchens-  I risk to see him inside.  And guess what- After three weeks I saw him. 

He was sitting and starring in front of the kitchen sink. I entered the room but he did not even blink. He was not eating. Was he waiting for me?  Of course he was. How could I even think that his presence was purely coincidence. 

"How did you know when I am going to be here?" I asked. But then I remembered his tongue. He can't answer me. He can't talk anymore. 

I looked at his face and he was starring directly at me with the face that was telling me -do you still think you are hard to predict-? 

He did not look distressed about his new disability. At all. Was there anything on this world that in fact can distress him? Other than my clumsy attempts to seduce him. 

"Well I am glad we had this nice chat." I said mockingly. "I am looking forward to future conversations between us." 

I was already getting ready to leave the kitchen since food was not tempting enough to stay and bare with his presence when I noticed paper in front of him. Was that for me? I stepped closer to read the content. 

"Don't do it. You won't survive." 

"Do what Roy?" I asked. He stayed quiet. "Answer me." Even, if he wanted, he could not answer me.  

"I see. You don't have pen to write down your answer. You know, If you marked me, it would be much easier- then I could at least read your thoughts." Even though I said it mockingly there was slight hope that he would consider this request. 

"I don't want you in my head." One of the Alpha's behind him said and I looked at the new wolf with confused face. When did he enter the room? Was he here all the time? Am I that bed at spotting people? 

"Who the hell are you?" 

"I am Marco. His translator. Since I am one of his pack members, I am able to read his thoughts. I will be here when he needs me to be here in order for him to speak with you."  He sounded nice but I was not having it. 

"Marco,  I don't want you here. My brother did this to himself so he should take responsibility and see how is it like to live with disability." I purposely used the word -disability- looking straight at my brother.

Marco flinched not used for anyone to speak with this tone about his leader. Especially in front of his leader. But my brother seemed unaffected by my insult. Instead I could see him mind-liking Marco about matters he considered are important for me to know. 

"Don't try to run away from this place. You won't even make it 100yards away from the main wall." Marco's voice was rough and confident but he could not compare with my brother's dominant one. Oh, how I will miss his voice. 

"If so, why warn me?" 

"He doesn't want you dead." Marco responded but I knew it was his own words not Roy saying him to say that. 

In quick and smooth moment Roy's strong arms were holding Marco's neck pressed on the wall. Roy roared so low and aggressively that I got scared for being in his presence. Luckily, not too long after, he released him and sit back on his place. 

Marco was trembling but somehow managed to say "I am sorry for daring to speak with you personally. From now on my only use is to be my masters voice. Never my own." 

"Don't worry about it Marco. If you want you can speak with me personally." I don't even know why I was trying so hard to defy my brother. 

Marco looked a bit relaxed. But not enough to do the same mistake twice. He waited for mind-link from Roy and only then he continued. 

"No one can speak with you personally. Not Marco, not any he or she- wolf." Marco said and was once again used merely as Roy's tool for conducting his thought into formed words. 

"Why do you even bother brother?" I wanted to say - why when you don't love me.- But I couldn't. Not in front of the Marco or anyone for that matter.

Unexpectedly, Roy approached me and this time I was the one to flinch. Was he going to hurt me? 

He pressed me into his body and sniffed my hair. If I knew this would happen, I would had washed it. His hug only hurt me deeply. It reminded me of the things I wanted and could not get. 

"I want to be loved. Like women. I don't expect from you that. Not anymore. But you can't forbid me of finding my own partner."  

"I am sorry sister." Marco's voice from behind responded instead of Roy's. 

I looked at him confused. What was he sorry about? Was he sorry for not giving into me? Into temptation? 

"You can never have partner or mate. I am sorry for taking that away from you." Marco continued. 

"I can brother. I am capable of loving and being loved." 

"You will have to learn to live without it." 

"Why, Roy?" 

"I will kill anyone who approach you." 

I start trembling in his arms. I tried to push him away but his grip was too strong. He was so damn strong that from the outside It didn't even look like I was struggling or trying to escape his iron grip. I bet Marco didn't even notice my desperate attempts. Even, If he did- what difference would it make. I was by myself. All alone. 

"There is no happy ending for you. I am the only ending possible for you" Marco's voice echoed but Roy's heart spoke. 

This was horrible. He didn't want me for himself but couldn't give me to others too. For the first time I wished I hadn't plot the death of the Sara. Maybe her death drove him crazy. Maybe, if she was alive, she could sooth his temper. 

"If you try something with another he wolf, I will also disfigure your face. No one will want you then. No one, except me." Marco said. 

"I will run away from you." I said half numbly as If I was speaking it to the wall with whom I could have never rationalize with. 

"Do you wish for me to permanently damage your leg bones? Because I will do it, If I have to." Marco once again translated my brother's thoughts. 

"I can't live like this." My voice was now barely a whipper but he heard it. 

"Don't you think I know that?  I know your abilities and limits better then you do, Selest. That is why we will do something we haven't done before. I have something in mind. It will cure our family." 

What did he had in mind? Even though Marco was speaking, I could feel the change of Roy's posture and emotion. 

"What is that?" I asked and could see Roy mind- linking Marco. In response, Marco blushed for the first time.

"Every Monday I will come at your room at 20:00 and when I come I want you already naked." 

"What?" 

"No strip performance. Only you and your naked body. This is very important. Then you will masturbate and I will watch you. I won't touch you. I won't approach you. You won't see me. You won't notice my presence but don't be mistaken- I will watch you." 

"And why the fuc.k would I do that?" I asked still bot believing what I was hearing. For a moment he was still but then he mind linked Marco. 

"I want to enjoy you, without feeling guilty. If we have to cross some kind of line, this one is the least severe one." 

"Will you touch yourself also?" My embarrassment totally disappeared. Marco blushed once again on my question but then responded with "No." 

Even though he responded with no, smile formed on my face.