Falling for the Rogue

I look into his eyes and don't know what to say. "It's very simple, Rachel," Sebastian says again. "Do you love me?" How can I not? He is gorgeous. A few inches over six feet, he towers over me, complete with bulging muscles and broad shoulders. He has a perfect smile, eyes so green they practically glow, and thick, blond hair. Everybody loves Sebastian. And every girl in our pack wants him. Of course they do. Not only is he gorgeous—but he is our Alpha. And he's not just any Alpha, but the strongest Alpha of all the packs we have ever encountered. I know all about strong Alphas. My Dad is one, and I grew up in a pack house that was respected, where my Dad's every word was obeyed. I was always raised to be a Luna. Our two packs decided to make an alliance. I was told by my Dad to move to this new pack. Only now I realize that they had a reason: they wanted me to make the alliance firm by marrying this new Alpha of this new pack. Sebastian. It's almost like I never had a choice. Of course, when I arrived at this new pack, Sebastian sought me out right away. Even in this crowded pack house, filled with jealous girls. I guess I should feel lucky. But when I look into Sebastian's eyes, I just….I just…don't know. Is he really my mate? I'm just not sure. How I am supposed to know? I'm only 17 and my 18th birthday is still a few days away, and I haven't even shifted yet. I keep wondering—when I shift, will I know for sure then? Or should I have known already? "I…." I began to say to Sebastian, "I do….really like you." His face falls with disappointment. "But you don't love me," he says, his voice dropping. "I didn't say that," I say. "But you won't say that you love me," he says. I want to reassure him that I do. I want to take him into my arms, hug him, hold him, kiss him, tell him everything he wants to hear. That our whole lives will be perfect. But for some reason, I just can't. And even worse—our wedding is only days away. Sebastian leans in close and takes my face in his hands. His hands are big, strong, and yet so smooth. I feel my heart melting as he caresses my cheeks, as he leans in close, so close, our lips almost touching. "Say it," he whispers. "Say that you love me." I feel my knees getting week, my stomach fluttering. It is hard to think with him this close. I want to say it….I really do… "I…." I begin. "I…." But then my voice trails off. For some reason I just can't get myself to mouth the words. “I feel something for you,” I say. “I really do. And I know that when I turn 18, I’ll know for sure.” “But I am 18 and I know for sure,” he says. “Isn’t that enough?” “I’m not saying that you’re not my mate,” I say. “Or that any girl wouldn’t be lucky to be with you. I’m just saying I need a bit of time to figure it out. Can’t you just give me some time?” He frowns. “Our wedding is only days away. You will be 18 then.” “That’s my point! Our wedding is on my 18th birthday. I want to know before. I feel like you and my Dad arranged this whole thing and that I was never even given a choice.” He shakes his head. “Rachel,” he says. “Packs are coming from far away. This has been planned. You told me you loved me.” “I said that I really like you,” I said. “And that I hope that I will love you when I know for sure.” He smiles. “You are just playing with words,” he says. “I can see it in your eyes. The way you look at me. You may be confused, but I am not.” I feel even more confused. Is he right? "It's easy," he whispers, his lips coming so close to my neck that I can barely breathe. "Just say I love you Sebastian. I can't wait to marry you. I can't wait to be your mate. I can't wait to be with you forever. To be Luna of this pack." The words sound so beautiful, so perfect, in his silky voice. I want to say them. Because a part of me thinks he might be my mate. But I also have this feeling, some sense so deep inside that I don't even know what it is, that tells me that maybe…there is another. Another mate, waiting to be found. Sebastian slowly backs away. A tense silence falls over us. I can see the hurt on his face, and it pains me. He looks disappointed. "Fine," he says, his voice firmer, darker.  "Don't say it. But you better figure it out. And soon. Our wedding is days away. Packs are coming from all over. And I won't be embarrassed." “Is that all you care about?” I ask. “Being embarrassed?” He leans in closer. "And one more thing," he says. "I don't like girls who aren't into me. You're not the only one who holds all the cards. If you keep this up, I might just reject you and choose someone else." “Like who?” I ask, feeling a pang of jealousy. He smiles mysteriously. “I think you know exactly who I am talking about,” he says. I do. Violet. The girl who hates me most of all. “And don’t forget—you are not Luna yet. And as Alpha of this pack, I have the right to banish you anytime I wish.” And with that he walks out and slams the door. I stand there, shaking inside, feeling worse than ever. Did I just lose my mate? And then, if possible, things get even worse. Because when I look up, standing there, in the doorway, spying on me, is the one person who I dread most in the world.