Basorexia

Drunk Memories.

M A Y S O N -

From what seemed like minutes of walking from Tyler’s grasp to my door up the stairs, I could already say I hate parties. I couldn’t pick what I hated more: the overwhelming sea of drunk people or the aroma of freshly smoked weed that burnt my nostrils. Parties with less than five people were more my style. You can almost always control the other person and breathe fresh air when you want to. The only ‘parties’ I attended were with my best friend Leif and a few friends in secondary school. I was happy to not find any naked bodies on my bed when I walked into the room. I guess the party hadn’t made its way upstairs yet. I could feel the vibration of party music through the carpet, the door muffled most of the noise from outside my room. Waiting for Tyler, I had fallen asleep on my bed. The faint light from outside no longer shined through the windows, it was pitch black. I could still hear the party music blaring downstairs; it was louder than before, which I didn’t know was even possible. I coughed hard, feeling my throat burn.

My mouth was dry, and my tongue was tingling from the party pack of sour skittles I devoured on the drive from the mall. My throat stung every time I swallowed, demanding more than my own saliva. I needed water. I remembered that Tyler specifically told me to stay in my room, which was probably for the best, but I wanted to go downstairs so badly. Simply for the water and nothing more. Screw what he said, he's not my dad and I’m not grounded! Walking out of the room, it was much darker than before and the music was so much louder. A few bodies were laid out on the stairs knocked out, a rainbow collection of solo cups everywhere I looked.

‘Here we are, turn away now. We are the warriors that built this town’ the music sung, blasting so hard I had to cover my hands over my ears until they adjusted. Party people screamed along to the music that echoed off the walls, very out of pitch may I add. Okay, in and out, get the water and back upstairs before Tyler can notice. He had told me that he would only be a few minutes then meet me, but he never came by. Or if he did, then he didn't wake me up. Even if he had peaked in and seen me sleeping, he should have woken me up! Walking down the stairs, I inched past the few who were deep asleep on the staircase. Suddenly, the home I had spent no more than two days in seemed to be much bigger. My eyes scanned the walls as I was bounced between strangers' bodies like I was in a pinball machine. After recognizing some of the art decorations on the wall, I made it to the kitchen barn doors.

"Hey, what can I get you?" A good-looking guy asked me in a white shirt and blazer. He must be a bartender or something. He had a dark five o’clock shadow and his hair swooshed back. The style reminded me of something out of a Grease movie. He had clear braces, but they didn’t look bad on him like they would on most people. His arms were painted with black and white tattoos from knuckle to shoulder.

"I just want water."

"A what?" he asked me, struggling to hear me over the blaring song. My eyes scanned over the hundreds of different glass bottles on the counter. They were all different shapes and sizes, some unlabeled even. I noticed some cups had been left on the kitchen island and grabbed one with a clear liquid inside. The Brooks seemed like the type to have fancy water in glass bottles instead of plastic ones. He just nodded, grabbing a bottle from below him and pouring it into a cup for me. He had mixed a few extra things into my drink I didn't ask for, but I was too nervous to speak up. It wasn't so bad in the kitchen. It was still loud, and you could hardly hear your own thoughts, but people would only come and go. They didn’t stick around very long. Sipping the drink, I cringed slightly at the different taste of the sharp, cold liquid. It carried a hint of cherry lime in it. It was strong, but bearable. Something about it making me want to take another sip.

"This is good, what is it?" I asked him a bit louder after he had already refilled me three times.

"Smirnoff," he said, laughing, realizing I didn’t know what that meant, “Vodka darling.” My heart dropped. I had only drunk alcohol once before and it was a shot at a party Leif and I went to. I quickly shot down any drinks after that one shot made me sick and haven’t drunk since. Sighing, I didn’t see a reason to stop now. I didn’t feel sick, and I didn’t feel guilty. I was already three cups in. I gestured my empty cup towards him. The guy sighed with a smile, nodding as he took my cup and filled it up again. "It is what I'm getting paid for." he said, handing me a cup. Unlike a official bar, he didn't have a reason to tell someone no or cut them off. The brothers probably paid him by the hour, so he didn't have to rely on tips or worry about declined credit cards.

At this point, I honestly just didn't care what was going on. The bass vibrated through me every time my feet hit the floor as I jumped up and down feeling lighter than a feather. At some point, I had wandered out of the kitchen and onto the main dance floor. I knew quite obviously that I was drunk. I knew where I was and wasn’t falling on my ass, but my sense of decision-making was far gone. I danced along with a group of random people I didn’t know. Maybe they were from another school since they didn't seem familiar. We all jumped to the beat in a large cluster, not caring that occasionally we would collide, stumble, laugh, then dance again. I screamed along to the songs but couldn’t hear my voice from the noise around me. A rainbow of lights flashed throughout the giant front room. All the furniture had been moved, only a setup DJ booth was against the wall and lights all around us. As I looked around, downing the last of my cup, my eyes caught on a taller boy. His mess of curls bounced on his head as he partied. A bunch of people danced around him, cheering as he took a swig from his cup. He was obviously very drunk, but at this point so was I. Squeezing through the crowd, I pushed and shoved bodies towards the blonde.

As the beat dropped, a rain of strobe lights covered the crowd. My vision came in fast pictures as everything moved. Crunching my cup in my hand, I threw it to the ground, making it to the group of people. I stood on my tiptoes glancing over the shoulders of people. Finally, I watched as the man turned around. His large smile didn’t leave his lips as he took a sip from his cup, eyeing me over the shoulders of the girls in front of me. I watched as a girl pulled on his arm, attempting to get him to dance with her. Taking a quick glance towards me, he leaned over to say something in her ear. Her look of lust faded into annoyance; you could tell she was shocked he had turned her down. A small smirk crawled up my lips, I knew he had just turned her down and chose to come see me instead. Within a few strides, he was standing in front of me. I could smell the mixture of alcohol and his cologne all over. A few curls stuck to his forehead from sweat. My heart pounded in my chest as I stared at him. Without any alcohol in my system, I would have slapped him for never coming to check on me like he said he would. But in this moment, I was fueled by alcohol and adrenaline.

His large frame leaned down to speak in my ear, “Look who came to the party.” He chuckled. As he pulled away, my eyes danced all over his face. Before he got too far, before I realized what I had done, my fingers were around his neck and my lips were slammed against his.

I groaned, rolling over in bed and pulling the sheets over my head. The bright morning sun blared into my room. My head was pounding, and my eyes were throbbing. I can’t remember anything from last night. The last memory I have was walking into the kitchen for a glass of water. So, this was a hangover... it sucks. I stood to my feet, stumbling to the curtains and yanking them closed. It helped slightly, but every time I opened my eyes my brain was screaming to keep them closed. I grabbed my jeans off the floor and pulled out my phone from the pocket. My screen was flooded with texts from unsaved numbers. The only contact I had saved was from my best friend Leif. The last text he sent me sat at the top of all my messages.

‘Who knew you could party like that?!'

Wait? Leif was at the party? It was possible that I had gotten so drunk I had told him to come join me. Leif also wasn’t a stranger to partying, so he could have come on his own and found me there too. After turning down my brightness to save my eyes the pain, I went to message him. I didn’t bother to read all the other messages since it hurt enough to text; I would accomplish that when I was able to stand still without my head pounding.

‘What r u talking about?’

I placed the phone between my skin and the waist band of my tie-dye pajama pants. Groaning, I pushed the bedroom door open. Several solo cups clinked together as I kicked them out of my way. Cups and bottles sat on every ledge around the house. Surprisingly, the house didn’t smell awful. I made my way down the stairs quietly, trying not to wake the brothers. I didn’t have to remember anything to know they had drunk more than me. I threw myself onto the couch after swiping a few cups onto the floor with others. I pulled a fuzzy blanket and the television remote off of the coffee table and flicked on SpongeBob as I felt my phone vibrate on my skin.

Leif had sent me a video and a following message with a winky face emoji. Confused, I slid up on my phone screen, unlocking it, and pressed play on the video.

It was obvious Leif, or whoever filmed it, was very drunk while taping. The camera bounced around to the music. From the swaying vision I watched as a few hundred people jumped around on the dance floor to the song Handsomer by Russ. Cups full of alcohol swung around in the air, different liquids spilling onto people who were too drunk to notice. People grinded on one another and others made out in the crowd. I get that it was a good party, but the video wasn’t telling me much else. I kept watching the five-minute-long video. Halfway through, the camera turned to a group of girls dancing on a table with the crowd screaming out for them. I threw the phone to the side as my attention got stolen by SpongeBob. I then heard Leif’s loud whistle, “Get it May!” I scrambled over to grab the phone and rewind back.

In the corner of the crowd, you could see two people stumble out. My jaw dropped, I instantly recognized that it was Tyler and me. My legs were clutched around his waist and hands clutched in his hair. His hands gripped onto my hips as he pushed me against the wall. His lips left mine and his head buried into my neck. My eyes fluttered shut as I bit my lip and hands clutched onto his shirt. Leif cheered out towards me and then the video ended.

I was frozen, in absolute utter shock at what I had just seen. A wave of excitement rushed over me for a split second at the thought of making out with Tyler. I knew there was a good chance no one would recognize me if the video got out. I was wearing my baggy green hoodie and had the hood up, plus the video was a little blurry and we were only in the corner of the video, not front and center. If it hadn't been for our clothes, I wouldn't have even been sure it was us. My biggest fear would be Tyler either remembering or seeing the video and recognizing us. Part of me hoped he had been so drunk he didn’t remember anything. The whole thing was new to me, it had been completely erased from my memory due to alcohol. Whimpering, I curled my toes as I shook the image out of my head. It was hot and a turn-on, but now was not the time.

I stared up at the ceiling, knowing there was nothing else I could do at this point. Leif obviously was the one who took the video, but I know he doesn’t have the best judgment under the influence. I replied to Leif with a few emojis of shock before throwing my phone to the other side of the couch. I didn't feel like getting into a texting war with him right now, so I switched my phone to Do Not Disturb mode. Grabbing the pillow beside me, I took a deep breath before releasing a scream into the cushion. I stood up from the couch, jumping as the sound of crunched solo cups under my feet scared me. In an attempt to keep my mind clear I decided to clean up. I found the trash bags under the sink and followed the trail of trash around the house. I filled up three bags from the living room and then went to the stairs with the fourth.

Making it halfway up the stairs, I realized I had left my phone on the couch. I wanted it in case Levi or any of the other unknown numbers texted me important information. I didn't have privacy settings on, which meant if someone picked up my phone they could read any of the new messages I had without unlocking it. I still didn't know if either of the brothers were awake or in the house. The last thing I needed was one of them to read the messages. I ran down the steps, not paying attention to where I was stepping. Suddenly, a sharp pain shot through my foot, causing me to crumble onto the stairs. One of my steps had landed right on a piece of glass from a broken bottle. I felt the sharp sting as it pierced through the bottom of my foot. I screamed in pain, sliding down the wall, holding my foot. Hot tears streamed down my face as I tried to hold in all the cries not to wake anyone.

“Mayson?” - well never mind. Tyler stood at the top of the stairs in basketball shorts that barely hung onto his hips. He ran down the stairs, avoiding all the trash. I looked away, sobbing quietly, not wanting him to see me crying. Tyler squatted beside me, looking at my foot that I clutched in my hands. Even with the pain, it was hard to look at him, not knowing how much he remembered from last night. I squealed as he pulled slightly on the glass. It was stuck on my sock. I listened to Tyler sigh. Suddenly, I felt his arms around me, lifting me off the floor without a word. He placed me on the kitchen counter and searched through the cupboards. The pain had suppressed into a dull ache as long as you didn’t touch it. My cheeks were warm and soaked with my tears. I wasn’t good with pain. Tyler came back with scissors, tweezers, and a damp cloth. He started to cut around the glass and pull the sock off my foot.

“This is going to suck.” He warned me, carefully grasping the glass with the tweezers. I rolled my eyes looking at him.

“No really I didn't-” Tyler yanked out the glass, catching me off guard, and quickly pressed the wet cloth on the bottom of my foot. “Asshole!” I screamed, I tried to pull my foot away, but Tyler had it tightly in his grasp. Tyler let out a chuckle, but he tried to hold it in as he checked my foot.

“It isn't deep, luckily.” He said, holding the rag there until it stopped bleeding, then applied a band-aid.

“Oh, just peachy.” My voice was full of sarcasm, giving him a fake smile.

He laughed, shaking his head, then turned away from me and to the fridge. How was I supposed to just ask him? Hey Tyler, do you remember last night when we made out? He came back with a cup of coffee and an ice pack. Handing me the cup, he rested the ice pack on my foot. He told me that he had added some pain meds into the coffee for me, which I was grateful for. We stayed right there in the kitchen. Tyler leaned back against the cabinets across from me as I sat on the kitchen counter.

“Hunter always somehow manages to get me drunk before I can shut down the party.” He rolled his eyes. I could tell he was apologizing about not coming up right away without saying sorry.

“So uh,” I swallowed the lump in my throat trying to decide on what to say, “How much do you remember about last night?” My body got tense and I could feel my heart beating faster.

Tyler scrunched his eyebrows, looking at me confused. “Uh, well-” he sighed, looking at the ground as he thought in silence, “loud music, blurry lights, and booze. That’s really it.” He counted on his fingers, and he spoke, then shrugged his shoulders. “Why do you ask?” He questioned me.

Heat rushed to my cheeks as I slid off the kitchen counter, landing on my good foot and keeping the other up. “Oh um, just was wondering.” I lied, turning away to hide my face from Tyler.

“Mayson, you can hardly walk.”

“I’m fine, I’ll just hop.” I struggled to bounce across the kitchen floor towards the living room. Suddenly, I felt Tyler's arms around me as he picked me up to take me to the couch.

“Put me down!” I yelled, punching him in the back. My efforts did little to nothing. Tyler flipped me onto the couch, standing over me with a smirk on his face.

“See how easy that was?” he asked. I did not response, only huffed and reached for the remote. Tyler took a seat beside me, kicking his feet up on the coffee table.

“Oh yeah, I do remember one other thing from last night.” He didn’t look to me, his eyes stayed glued to the television.

“Oh, and what's that?” I tried to keep calm.

I could see his head turn out the corner of my eyes. A subtle smirk curved at the end of his lips. I could feel my heart pound in my throat. He leaned towards me. I could feel his warm breath on my ear.

“Look who came to party.”