Baby Brother

Sticks and Stones may break my bones may break my bones But words will rip my skin to shreds Control how many calories I eat Control what’s in my grasp Break a mirror Remove all forms of connect Cry in shadows with grinning masks shining in public Tie a rope around wooden beams Get a knife Abuse medication and drugs Sticks and stone may break bones But words will be the death of me -- Mirabel sat against Antonio’s bed, humming a lullaby under her breath. Phone buzzing on her lap as message after message from social media. Staring at her phone, she sighed as she moved to pull her long brown hair into a ponytail. I want the pain to stop, she thought. Looking at Antonio as her shoulders drop, comments floating around her head. Words whispered behind her back, sent to her over f******k or commented on her ** posts. Comments from people she didn’t even know about her appearance and how she didn’t deserve to live. That she should stop taking up the air, Mirabel could only hope that Antonio never experienced the same pain. Antonio was a balm against the bullying, only eight years old. That balm was no longer enough to keep her going and there was a hole that was growing in her chest. Thin lines covered her hips, upper thighs, and upper arms. No one looked beyond the wrists. Each scar was a battle she lost; emotional pain turned into physical. She could watch a type heal, even if she slowed it down by picking at it. She had been done with life when she was nine, years after Isabella’s birth and just before Antonio’s. She made it to seventeen, which was an enormous number when she was young. For years she hadn’t said anything about the bullying, Mirabel was just seeking attention when she said anything and was being a typical drama queen. An attention hog when she was no longer in the spotlight… there wasn’t a point in telling Mum or Dad or anyone in her life. She was just being stupid. “I love you,” she softly said kissing his forehead and tucking in his blankets. Mirabel knew she would be free soon; the pain was going to stop. She had put a notebook in Isabella’s room and Antonio’s.f pain  The one for her parents she would take with her into the bathroom, putting it onto the counter away from the water. Mirabel was glad that her family slept deeply. “I’m sorry, I’m going to go now,” she said walking out of the room. She felt lighter, lighter than she had been in years. The buzzing of her phone didn’t matter, their words held no more meaning since she was going to be done with them soon. They wouldn’t be able to touch her. She was going to fly with the birds and sing their soft words. “Baby Brother don’t be scared,” Mirabel said as she slipped into the bathroom, it was the poem she had written for Antonio. Her bedroom was clean, she allowed Isabella and Antonio to take what they wanted from her room. She wouldn’t need them. “Baby brother, stay out of the room, there are some things you don’t need to see,” Mirabel said turning on the tap. “Baby brother I love you, it’s me that isn’t welcome. Baby brother you’re never alone, I’ll be watching you from above.” Pausing, she turned the tap off and stepped into the tub. She was still in her pj’s, picking up the blade from the razor she had pulled apart in the morning, and hiding it in the bag where she kept her toothbrush and makeup. “Baby brother please smile through the pain, we’ll see each other again, hopefully when your old and grey,” Mirabel said as she looked at her cuts, she wouldn’t be going horizontally, nor she would be following her veins. She had been told that this was the quickest way to go, and that water would hurry up the process. “Baby brother, you’re far too young to understand what went wrong. Baby brother, please forgive me, for taking my last breath. Baby brother, please live, don’t let your demons win. Baby brother stays strong, believe in yourself. Baby brother, goodbye. Please forgive the disaster who could no longer handle her pain.” Mirabel made a line down her arm, blood pooling up around the blade, she paused for a moment before a thought went down her arm. She hadn’t gotten the blade deep enough, she could have gotten it from the cat if she didn’t know its true origins. There was still time to go back, she thought. Dismissing it. She’ll continue with the poem, it would remind her of the reason she had done this in the first place. “Baby brother live a life filled with laughter and joy. Baby brother; goodbye.” The rest of the cuts were easy enough to complete, she gave herself a new one after each sentence and as the world started to spin. The good memories came back, and she didn’t want to die. She wanted the pain to go away, she didn’t want to take her life but now it was far too late as her eyes started to close on her. Falling backwards into the water, she had lost too much blood, and no one knew her plan. She was dead a few seconds later.