Leo's Hands

Steve’s death

Steve’s death

I sadly came back to my friend and I found him still laying on the ground on his back, with his head turned to the side and the knees bent. He gasped. I licked his hand. He slowly turned the head, then with a superhuman effort he managed to lift an arm to pet me behind the ear, like he always did. His hand was so cold that gave me a shiver. I closed my eyes, enlightened by an idea I stretched to stick my nose in the pocket of the raincoat, in the search of the mobile phone.

«It’s useless, I forgot it at home... I’m sorry my friend, I’m afraid that this time it’s really over...» he murmured with a sad face understanding, my intentions, then he looked at me with glossy eyes and I let out a desperate growl.

Reading the resignation in his eyes I understood that there was nothing to do anymore, so I crouched down to his side, as close as possible to try to give him a bit of warmth. After a few instants he was shook by a cough, then another and another one.

«I’m sorry» he whispered one last time, then he closed his eyes forever.

There was an abyssal silence left, never heard before, interrupted just by the whistle of some gusts of cold air that came in from the big broken window. They brought the sour smell of the gunpowder, that mixed to the one of my friend’s blood was really nauseating. But I didn’t go away, he was my friend and I wouldn’t have left him alone for the world! He was there next to me, still, he was there however he wasn’t here anymore. He ignored me, and I couldn’t understand why.

“It’s not fair... you can’t leave me like that, we made an oath! Always together, until the end... you promised me!” I thought.

That had always been our jinx quote, he had repeated it every time before going into action. Two words, a wink and then away, together towards the danger. Those words meant that if something bad were to happen, (we knew well that it was a possibility, given the profession we had), we had to leave together. But no, after years of a deep friendship and actions taken shoulder to shoulder (or perhaps I should say shoulder to paw), suddenly he left me alone that way! And the worst thing is that I felt guilty, I kept repeating to myself that if I had been more careful and decisive, maybe things would’ve gone differently. Instead I had too much faith in him, I waited too long before jumping through that bloody window!

A memory suddenly snuck up on me giving me a soft thread of hope. During the training weeks, when I was still a little more than a puppy, he often took me to play in the countryside. There we would roll on the grass, immerged in the warm and scented air and in the never ending flying of the colourful butterflies. We fought until he suddenly faked death. What a fright he gave me, the first times! Terrified I licked his face and I shook him with my paw, right after he jumped on his feet laughing like crazy. I knew it was useless, but I tried anyway...

“No, it’s not a prank!” I thought desperate.