The Beta Wants Me

Chapter Seven

" You're sick of feeling numb, You're not the only one, I'll take you by the hand, And I'll show you a world that you can understand, This life is filled with hurt, When happiness doesn't work, Trust me, and take my hand, When the lights go out, you'll understand. "

                                  -Three Days Grace

                                            ( Pain )

KAI COACHMAN

[August 28th 2020]

"Yes, ma, I'll be home tomorrow to help you," I tried to keep my voice down.

I don't know why my mom thought it'd be a smart idea to call me at literally one a.m in the morning but it was like the Coachmans' to make no goddamn sense. It just sucked because her ass was so loud that I had to put her at literally the minimum level on my phone and it still sounded like I was on speaker when I wasn't.

"Where do you spend your days anyhow? You sitting outside acting homeless, Kai?" Ma said, her voice growing louder.

Insert eye roll.

"You'll never catch me outside," I mutter.

"Why's that?" She questions.

"Because I f*****g hate bugs. My blood is probably tasty as hell because I attract a lot of them," I say, irritation lacing my tone as I began to remember back in my middle school days when I'd play outside constantly and always come back inside the house with bumps all over me. I hate bugs so much.

"Your mouth will be filled with dish soap in a minute if you don't keep those curse words out your mouth," she threatens, "it's getting late—"

Well no s**t, it's literally 1 a.m. I will remain salty that she called me this late when I was supposed to be getting my beauty sleep. You think I just magically wake up and look perfect? No, that takes sleep.

"—come over early tomorrow, the internets broken."

I rolled my eyes.

"The internet is not broken, ma—"

"It's broken Kai, my computer won't turn on. Don't argue with the woman who carried you for nine tragic long months," she scolded, attitude in her voice.

"Yeah, okay," I didn't argue any further because I was tired and now my stomach was making loud noises telling me it was time to get a late night snack.

"Love you," she says before hanging up.

I blink as I sigh and toss my phone to the side. She had that habit of wanting to say the last word and hanging up afterward before I could even get a word out. I've grown accustomed to it but sometimes I'd like to say, 'love you,' back because I did love my mother a lot.

Who wouldn't love the single person in the world who did what they could to make sure you were fed, had a roof over your head, and put up with your tantrums? I was a handful of a child and I always wondered why my mom didn't throw me in the trash already. I was too much, even for myself sometimes.

Nonetheless, I appreciated her even though I didn't always feel this love for her. My face screws into a frown as my thoughts begin to roam freely and memories of the past flash in my mind. I intake a sharp breath, shaking my head and willing the pictures that filled my mind to disappear.

I don't want to remember those things anymore.

I swallow thickly and throw the comforter off my legs and stand, stretching my body a bit. I look around the room for a bit, memories of Declan picking out this room for me fresh in my mind.

When Bolt and I graduated earlier this year, Killian practically insisted that Finnick live with him and claimed it was painful being without him; I, For one, think he just wants to get his ass 24/7. Anyways, Declan wanted for me to do the same and share a room with him but I declined because I needed my space and I knew very well that Declan would never keep his hands off me if we actually shared a room together.

It was like he was horny all the damn time with how frequently he has his hands on me, it could also be the fact that I'm a whole meal. But regardless, we've been living in the pack house ever since and May visits often because she's mated to Chris.

I open my door and shut it quietly, making sure I didn't make a lot of noise. It was a normal thing for me to get late night snacks because I was a fatass who was always hungry but apparently there were some complaints that I was too loud. Even when I'd tip toe, they still heard me and I suppose it was because of their super werewolf hearing. They'd get over it, my hunger was very important.

I walk through the fifth floor until I catch sight of the elevator and I press the button to get to the first floor. I enter, allowing the steel doors to close and watch the arrows going downwards on the screen with the melody the elevator plays drifting into my head. It wasn't that cheesy music that an elevator usually plays but it was a selection of music that was actually tasteful.

The doors slide open and I walk out, careful that my footsteps aren't that loud. Again, I walk through the floor until I find the modern kitchen with steel appliances and marble decor and enter. I pull open the fridge, look inside, then close it. Turning, I pull open a cabinet and grab a bag of Lays chips and Milano cookies. I would make something but I realized how lazy I am and that I'd have to wash the dishes if I made something so I decided against it.

Carbohydrates, high fructose syrup and saturated fat it is. My metabolism was amazing anyways.

I begin walking, again, to the living room but shriek aloud and nearly drop my precious food when I see Bryn sitting there on her own. Her head is dropped in her hands, occasional sniffles escaping her. I sigh, realization that I have to actually be a good person coming to me.

I walk over to her and drop the big bag of Lays and Milano cookies between us. She notices my presence and quickly wipes her face.

"I wasn't crying," she lies.

"Those tear streaks on your face say otherwise," I chuckle and she curses quietly, wiping at her face.

I'm silent and so is she until my stomach grumbles and I rip open the bag of chips and pull out a bunch to stuff into my mouth. She looks at me before looking at the bag.

"Can I have some?" She asks, her voice sounding sore as if she'd been crying for hours.

I nod and she grabs a handful, chewing on each chip as if hoping their flavor would dissolve her problems.

I actually felt somewhat bad for her as I looked at her. I wasn't a werewolf so I could never experience the pain she must be feeling but the vibes she gave off made it known that she was hurting.

"I'm sorry," I began to say, looking away from her, "about everything."

"If anyone should apologize, it's me," she says, "I have to apologize to Declan too."

"Don't, he'll most likely still hate you either way," I advise.

"That's probably true," she tries to laugh but it comes out forced and I cringe.

Again, silence follows except the munching of the chips as we chew them. She opens the pack of cookies and looks at me as if asking if she can have one and I nod. She takes one of the delicious treats out and shoves the whole thing in her mouth. I gap at her before shaking my head, looking down and laughing silently.

"I feel like nothing ever goes my way," she says all of a sudden.

"Tell me about it," I mutter, fully understanding where she's coming from.

"When I was seventeen, everyone I knew was finding their mates and I was told by everyone to wait and that my mate would come soon so I waited and waited...and waited and before I knew it everyone around me had a mate but I didn't," she breathes a shaky breath and I put a cookie in her hand as if to cheer her up. She looks at the cookie in her hand before looking at me and smiling sadly.

"I remember two years ago feeling this pain in my chest, it felt like my heart was ripping itself to pieces," she hiccups, wiping her glossy eyes with one hand, the other hand held the cookie that she took a bite out of, "that pain now makes sense."

"I'm sorry," was all I knew how to say.

I didn't know how to comfort people and it always made me feel awkward when I had to comfort others. The only person who I've successfully been able to comfort was Bolt but it was hardly anything.

"It just sucks that I never even got to meet her, you know?" She says with a mouth full of cookies.

I nod quietly, unable to say anything. I wasn't sure Bryn would've been happy to even meet Lyn considering how much of a b***h she was before she died and I have this gnawing feeling that Lyn would've rejected Bryn because she was too up Killian's ass.

"How did she die?" Bryn asks, looking at me.

I didn't know how to answer her or what to say. How do I tell her that the pack her alpha, and step-brother, wants to become allies with, killed her mate two years ago? You don't.

"An accident," I tell her, technically, it isn't a full lie.

She says nothing in response and, again, I allow the silence to consume the atmosphere.

"Thanks for talking to me, I'm gonna head back to my pack now," she stands and I furrow my brow, wondering why she even came here, "Elijah is here talking to Killian and I came with."

"It's one fifty-six a.m," I say in confusion.

"Alphas spend hours talking about pack related business," she smiles gently before waving goodbye and leaving.

I sit there for a while before releasing a breath and turning to grab my cookies but they were gone. Automatically I knew Bryn took them and if it was any other situation, I would be pissed that someone took my food, but this time I let it slide.

I would still be shady about it though.

Kay, so this was maybe boring but this was a necessary chapter to include for future reference so I hope you enjoyed it either way.

~xoxo, Babybird.