The Awakening

Breath

It happened fast. Before she could think, she was on her knees covering her chest. She hadn't had this feeling since high school. One single long and hard drilling pain in her chest that forced her to bend over as the seconds went by. Her neck tensed, she couldn't breathe. Amra watched with horror as she crumbled to the floor and next thing she felt was him kneeling behind her. He had not hesitated for even a second.

"Follow my voice. Breathe." He pleaded, slowly wrapping his arms around her from behind and holding her tight. She was shaking and struggling to catch some air.

"Relax your body, and the air will come back. Lay on me. Breathe."

Tears started falling from her eyes as she tried to understand what Amra was saying. A voice that was telling her to relax, but she felt the pain was too strong.

"I am here, I won't let you go until you are better, trust me."

He held her tighter and she noticed how he was gently forcing her to press her back against his chest, making her break her curled pose.

"Give in." He whispered softly.

Her mind suddenly became clearer, even though she kept her eyes closed, she felt as something warm and bright was around her, distending her muscles, softening her own embrace.

"That's it. Slowly. Let it go."

She heard him clearly, and felt her fists opening, her arms slowly lowering, her chest became numb. The pain, so deep and sharp, was disappearing, replaced by a numbness -- a confusing but much more preferable sensation.

"Now... breathe."

She gasped and began to breath heavy and fast. She started to shake and sob, and he held her tight, not letting her go. Her face tilted to the side and pressed against his shoulder as he slowly rocked her back and forth. The air was filling her lungs, giving her back some lucidity. The last time she felt like this, she fainted and woke up at the hospital. Doctors never found anything wrong with her, deciding it was just a panic attack. It happened a few more times, randomly, without any specific reason, but she hadn't felt it in years. And it was never this strong.

She felt very tired after the pain that consumed her. Amra was breathing slowly in her face, and she couldn't open her eyes yet. She might had been better now, and able to stand up and walk some, but he felt so good, she wanted to stay. He lifted a hand to brush some hair away from her face, and with the tip of his fingers touched her tears. She turned her head towards him, and her eyes opened half way. He was looking at his fingertips, rubbing the tears, then looking down at her. She was biting her lip again and he closed his eyes and shook his head.

"Amra... what have you done?!"

She could have possibly turn her head towards him if she wanted to, but she felt too weak. She closed her eyes instead and waited to obtain more strength so she could explain to Pronab what had happened. Amra did not move, but she knew that entering the room to watch them as they were now could lead to misinterpretations.

"We need a doctor, just to make sure."

"A doctor?! What happened?"

"She couldn't breathe. But she is better now."

"For a moment I thought."

"You should know me better."

"I am sorry."

She heard them talk as if she wasn't there, and perhaps they thought she was unconscious. She heard Pronab leave the room and return seconds later, or perhaps minutes? Saying that the medics were coming and he had to let her go. But she didn't want him to let her go, she felt safe and calm where she was, she didn't want to leave so soon. She struggled to open her eyes and looked for Pronab who was kneeling close to them.

"I just..." She paused. "I need water, and, just give me a few minutes to recover. I will be fine."

"Miss Woodward, the medics are in the living room please let me take you there. Amra needs to stay here. Come, let me help you stand."

Very reluctantly she stood up with the help of the both of them, with an arm on Pronab's shoulder, she walked to the living room. Out there she found a doctor with a nurse, both walked fast to assist Pronab and they sat her on the sofa. Checking her pulse and her blood pressure. After a few more minutes she told them she used to have these attacks years ago and they always came with no reason. The doctor wrote down some indications and then set an appointment to check her at his clinic. He said she needed some rest but she was in good condition, he advised her to be careful until they could have some tests done on her to find out more. Doctor and nurse left and Pronab walked them out, when he got back he was looking worried at her. She smiled and shook her head softly.

"I am going to be ok, trust me, I have been there before."

"You should get tested and try to be more careful, it's just weird that doctors never found out why you had them before, let's hope they do now."

"I never worried since I never had them again, until now... I will go to the clinic and get everything done in order, don't worry."

"That's ok. By the way, your friend is back at her hotel, I took care of it."

"What? Vanessa? I said I was going to pick her up."

"It's pass 4 in the afternoon now, I got here at 2:30 like Elaine asked me to."

"That can't be right, it can't be... I am losing my mind."

Pronab looked nervously at her. Caliope shook her head and tried to understand what was happening, she had been there no more than half hour when she had her panic attack, had she passed out at some point? Did Amra hold her all that time? She couldn't understand how she was losing track of time so much lately.

"I think you should go rest now, my driver will take you to your friend's hotel and after that you need rest, I will talk to Elaine and you can take tomorrow off."

"I can't... I was supposed to finish my work tomorrow."

"I insist, don't worry, take a day, and then return more relaxed."

She started to think she might need that day off more than she wanted. Spend it with her friend who had been hurt and hospitalized. She should sleep more, and slow down. She nodded to Pronab and stood up.

"Thank you... I will just say goodbye to Amra and go."

"Don't worry I will tell him you left to rest, he knows you are ok now."

"Ok... I will go then. Thank you."

"My pleasure, please get some rest and we will see you here in two days."

She picked up her bag and went down the elevator. At the entrance there was a guy who was expecting her, informing her that he was the driver of Mister Pronab, and he would take her to the desired destination.

She arrived at the hotel and dismissed the driver, calling on the reception for her friend. Once she came down and held her in a tight hug she smiled at her then got a bit more worried.

"How have you been? You look pale honey, I thought you forgot about me again, but nice touch to send me a limo driver and all, I felt like a star!"

"I am so sorry I missed picking you up, but glad you returned in style."

They went to have a coffee at the hotel's restaurant and there Caliope told her friend about how she had been feeling odd lately, her lapses of missed time and how she had a panic attack today, like she used to years before. Vanessa expressed her concern and agreed it was an excellent idea for her to take a day off. She even arranged a day in Central Park for them to enjoy a picnic, fresh air, relaxation and no worries to help her recover. Caliope agreed it was perhaps what she needed, and maybe all the past events, were only signs to prevent her from this panic attack, in which case she should be more than glad that it was all going to stop now.

After some hours, they had a nice dinner then Caliope departed to her home, promising to pick Vanessa up the next morning for their day out. She hailed a taxi and returned home. Every time she got there, it all became a routine. Cooking, some cleaning, shower, reading some, and then lay on her bed to sleep. She was so tired, she skipped them all and went straight to bed, happy that she would be spending the time with Vanessa the next day.

Next morning, Caliope took a shower and prepared for a simple day in the park. She went to pick up Vanessa and they rented a car for the day.

Going to Central Park was something that they both enjoyed, the day was sunny and the weather was just perfect. They found a spot to lay a blanket with their little basket of prepared food and both sat next to it. They started to talk about old memories and some adventures, laughing and chilling. Caliope was a little sad to know that Vanessa was called back to work so she would have to leave at night, but she was very happy that they could pick up on their friendship and make it stronger, they hadn't seen each other for a long time but when they met again it was as if time hadn't pass at all.

At the afternoon they picked up all their belongings and returned to the car, making sure everything was in place before leaving. They went to an art gallery to buy something for Vanessa to take home. After a while watching the different styles and types of paintings and structures, she picked an old statue of a cowboy she was fond of. After returning the car they went back to the hotel where Vanessa packed her bags and paid her bill. Caliope had promised to take her to the airport and they went together in a cab. It was hard to let her friend go, but she knew they would keep in touch. After a long and almost embarrassing hug, they said goodbye and promised to talk soon.

It was late and Caliope was not really hungry, she wanted to sleep and felt very tired. She set her alarm clock to the usual time and easily felt asleep.

Next morning, getting back to her routine was easy. She got in the car with Marco and left for the residence. Miss Clark was so happy to see her fine and in good shape, she said she would give her more days if it wasn't that she was starting to need her books in order. They both laughed. Miss Clark said goodbye and left with Magna, leaving Caliope again alone. No, not alone. Amra was there, in his room, and she hadn't seen him since her panic attack. She wanted to thank him, but she was scared to knock on his door.

Finally she finished all the cataloging on the books of Miss Clark's library, and put labels on each group in order. And now, what else to do? She check the clock, it was only noon. After having for lunch of a sandwich and juice, she went to the living room, sat down on the sofa looking around, took out a book and started reading.

It was about 5pm when Miss Clark returned from her usual working day. She asked how things were going and Caliope showed her the finished work on the library. Miss Clark was very impressed and after Caliope explained her all the categories she made, she found herself with a green card to go home.

The next day Miss Clark left her additional paper work to complete. She was challenged this time to select more nonprofit organizations to receive grant funds from Miss Clark's enterprise. By the end of the day she had selected two humanitarian movements that helped street people and ex-convicts to find work and help them find a new life out of the streets. She was proud of herself.

The following days went by in a similar way, and though she was happy to have work to do, keeping herself busy, she never saw Amra around anymore, and it worried her that it could have been something she had done. Perhaps she got too close to him, or maybe he was gone. Miss Clark never talked about him, and she thought that even stranger.

Another weekend came along without any interesting events, and so did the next two. She was quite familiar with her tasks and even went with Miss Clark to her company offices a few times to see the results of her work. She still hadn't seen Amra and sadness settled into a part of her life because of this.

Miss Clark held her hand and kissed her cheek when she said goodbye, wishing her another happy weekend. Caliope left with her p*****t and returned home. There was normality back in her life, routine, but it felt strange and undesirable. Why was she missing him so much when he hardly knew him?

That night she sat on the floor with her back against the bed end, and started thinking what she did wrong. Tears starting to fall from her eyes and she did not hold them, the tears felt well, she needed to let go that frustration inside.

The ring of the door sounded almost far away, but enough to wake her from her trance. Slowly she got up, rubbing her tears with the back of her hand and walking towards the door. She looked towards her clock on the bed table and it was nearly 11pm, she wasn't expecting anyone.

As she got to the door, that strange and familiar sensation crawled in her skin, her eyes widened as she rushed to open it. There, she found Amra looking down at her with the saddest eyes.