Go, August, Go! FS2 ENGLISH

five: apologize

It took me an entire minute to completely comprehend that he was standing in front of me. The plan was changed. He confronted me instead. Panicking, I glanced over his shoulder to look for Randy but he was nowhere. So did the car. When he noticed my action, August glanced behind him to see whoever I was looking for. He found none, of course. I used that chance to peek at my back, too, and checked the narrow street. It seemed to be a shortcut going to a broader commercial establishment around the circle park. And at this time of the hour, the place was crowded and inviting. However, when I glanced back at August, his eyes were on me again. His eyes were literally sending me chills.

“I’m asking you,” he firmly said.

My lips quivered. I did my best to look him squarely in the eye but out of panic, I turned around and was about to run when I had changed of mind. Taking deep breaths with closed eyes, I convinced myself that I must do it now. Once everything is done, everything should be well, too. There’s no reason to wait for the right time when we are both here now, anyway.

With enough conviction, I faced him again and found him staring down at his wristwatch. It looked more expensive than expected but I didn’t mind. I shifted on my feet when his eyes narrowed at me. I gulped and raised my chin, trying my best not to be intimidated by his towering heights. I was used to it with Sandro and his cold eyes. But August’s eyes were blazing. As if it was his main intention to let him know how much he despised me.

“Fine,” I breathed and raised a brow. Irritation dripped with my tone but I didn’t mind. It was better than being anxious. “You remember me. There’s no reason to hide and runaway—”

“You were not hiding,” he interrupted. “You came here to see me. I won’t be surprised how you find me here. What do you want?”

This man doesn’t beat around the bush! My jaw fell. “W-Well… I’m not stalking you, okay? Let’s make that clear!” I exclaimed as the thought horrified me. I didn’t want him to have the wrong impression. “Our car was passing by and I saw you step out of here…” My thumb pointed at the one-story building next to us. “You remember me, right? So, the reason I came here was that—”

He glanced at his watch again. He must really be busy.

“I want to apologize,” I blurted out, bringing his attention back to me. But I didn’t look up to meet his gaze. I kept it on his chest. “What I did was childish. I didn’t think about the weight of my actions towards other people. I was panicking—you appeared out of nowhere. My stupid mind just works—”

“It is a stupid idea,” he agreed with a nod. I even nodded at him once before I realized it. My eyes were wide. He’s indirectly saying I was stupid, right? But then, he only agreed with my statement, so I pursed my lips and swallowed the irritation. “Look, Mr. Mister. I didn’t know you'd be locked up in jail for the entire week. You’re clearly innocent and I thought you could make the truth come out if you only defended yourself but you didn’t. You see, all I wanted that day was to get out of that place and… save myself.” He should have done the same thing for himself.

“You should go,” he said after a moment of silence. I gulped as the chill ran down my back. “Don’t show up here again.”

“W-What…?” My fingers fisted around the handkerchief on my hand. It was sticky against my touch because of the spiller drinks. “I’m apologizing. I feel really sorry. I cannot sleep well thinking of what I did. I know it was wrong of me. I—”

“What exactly are you here for?” he demanded. My lips parted. He was like an unmoving, yet speaking statue. His only movement was from the muscles on his face as he raised a brow, or clenched his jaw, and the barely moving lips.

“To… apologize?” Even I was confused with my reason. I had to go back to why I was in the coffee shop. I had already told him that! “What I did is wrong—”

“You cannot sleep, you say?” His head moved. He tilted it on the side to regard me like a kid.

Absent-mindedly, I nodded. “Yes.”

“You’re here to apologize?”

“Y-Yes.”

“What else?”

“What?”

“You’re done with your business. You heard my answer—”

“Huh? You haven’t answered me yet!” I exclaimed with wide eyes, failing at hiding my irritation. “You just told me to go and not to come back…” I trailed off as I realized what that meant. I nervously bit on my lower lip as blue eyes penetrated me. “You’re… not going to forgive me, are you?”

His eyes squinted dangerously. I took a step back and glanced down at about our two-meter distance. “We don’t know each other. Forget about it.”

“But I know you now. I saw the news. I also read some articles about you.”

I looked away when something dark crossed his eyes. I guess it was one wrong move to tell that to him.

“I… realized what I did when I heard about you. That you just got released—” I jumped when he took a step closer to me. His eyes gleamed with unspoken threat. I gulped loudly and did my best to soften my voice. “We… bailed you out.”

“If you’re here for the money—”

I gasped in disbelief. “Why am I here for the money…?” Seriously? Does he think I’m here to get the money? I don’t even know how much Sandro paid for it. Can’t he understand? This meeting wasn’t intentional. I accidentally saw him. I got in the shop when he left and I didn’t expect him to return. I was just… curious. And now that we were actually standing with each other again, I grabbed the chance to apologize! I admitted I was sorry. Of course, I’d mention what I asked Sandro to do to tell him how sorry I was.

Yet, how could he still glare at me like I wasn’t trying to be sorry at all?

“Don’t come back here, miss,” he enunciated. The way he addressed me made me feel like a woman and yet he glared at me as if he was trying to get some sense from some stubborn school kid. “If you’re here to make sure I won’t spill the truth to the public, please, be assured that I won’t. They had the chance to enjoy my life for years; I’m trying to enjoy it for myself now. Be gone and don’t see me here again.”

My lips parted but they closed as his menacing gaze made me shiver. I tried again but words were left in my throat when he turned around and went back to the coffee shop. I was left there dumbfounded, biting on my lower lips, and clenching my hands on my sides.

His voice was void of emotion, different from when we first met. He even had a smile on his face then. He smiled at the customers, too. But what he had in his eyes as he looked down at me was rage if not a vacancy. Indeed, I had been so stupid to be deserving of that treatment. I couldn’t even dare to blame him. He had all the reasons and the right to treat me differently.

He was right. Was I expecting to be easily forgiven just because I did help him out of the jail when he was supposed to be in there in the first place? Should I expect him to accept my apology when I should be because of what I did?

What am I supposed to do with this guilt in my chest now? It’s just getting denser, heavier, and stronger. It’s draining me out!

"They lack professionalism. They cannot just quit just because they wanted to!" Mom exasperatedly explained over dinner as my tutor decided not to continue again when she learned that I failed. I did excel three ranks higher. That was not a failure. We should at least look at the good things in everything, don't we?

I internally rolled my eyes and shifted on my seat, instantly uncomfortable with the shift in the topic. I thought I would be done with it without talking about my school stuff. I was wrong.

Through my lashes, I looked up at the Dad who leisurely wiped his lips with the table napkin. I found his eyes on me. My gaze landed back on my plate.

"They're not quitting. They at least finish the semester. Even I won't stay if there's no progress. Who would maintain just a low rank at that age?"

The overall class total for 11th grade was 200. Apparently, there were lists of students lower than me. My grade wasn't that bad. What was important was, I was moving upward. Just a slow pace, but better to be slow than have no progress at all.

They don't expect me to reach the top lists overnight, do they? I could study for the whole semester straight, but those who were on top were indeed exerting extra sweats and effort. There's no way I could beat them!

My dad's glare pricked holes in my system. I gulped and took a small bite of my steak. My dad wasn't entirely stern. He was most times, especially when it was about my study, which obviously had little progress. Plus that my Mom had been reporting to him about my friendships with Levi and his friends. Most times, we bonded as a family as long as they were not business. Unfortunately, that was something I could count with my fingers.

"Sandro said you never met with those scoundrels again," Mom said and I almost shrugged. I knew it. She would mention them again. "You better be. You should continue that and focus on your next exam, Roxette."

"I'm trying my best, Mom."

"With three ranks higher?" she exclaimed in disbelief. "For goodness' sake, Roxette, you're in the 11th grade! Another year and you'll move to IUM. Do you think your average will be enough for you to qualify?"

I gently put down the knife and fork before reaching for my juice to take a sip. Dad watched the rest of my food I hardly touched as he cleared his throat.

"She'll be working on her failed grades this semester, too, and retake it. She'll be busy going anywhere. Finish your dinner, Roxette. I'll ask my secretary to look for your new tutor. You'll be overloaded this semester and I hope you do well this time… I already told you the consequences of failing yet again."

I heaved a sigh and reluctantly continued with the food. Mom disappointedly shook her head and opened the topic about their previous board meeting in Ganghan Group. We were on the shipping line and a business partner to the Ganghan Group as they had lots of investors when it came to international ventures like hotel chains, malls, clothing, estate, airlines, and all. Name it. Ganghan Group was literally the empire, a pioneering International corporation that's why my parents couldn't leave it despite all the stress on and about the company.

And I was told that was how the business world worked—no wonder why all those on the top lists of IHM school ranking usually were cold and apathetic. IHM and IUM prepared them for their future and so far, they were already living the standard.

And I was getting sick of it and the thought of keeping the wealth to the wealthy and the power to the powerful.

"You didn't leave your books in school?" Sandro noticed the three books sitting with me in the backseat. "I heard they're still looking for a new tutor." He didn't see it earlier as Randy picked me from the school driveway while he talked to someone in the school office. If I was right, he asked someone to confirm if I was not secretly meeting with Levi. And I knew Mom ordered him to.

"I know," I sighed and straightened on my seat as we entered the familiar street. "I'll be studying on my own now. The house bores me, so." I shrugged without looking at him. He just followed my line of sight.

"In a coffee shop?"

"In the Bree Café, yes." I nodded and picked up the books. "I saw the other day how nice the place actually is. It's also starting so they don't have local patrons, yet. I want to be one."

He fell silent for a moment. Randy pulled the car near the curb as he waited for Sandro's response, who silently approved that he had stopped.

"If this is yet another—"

I rolled my eyes and showed him the pile of books. "I'll be very busy, Sandro. I'm sure my parents told you about my hectic schedules starting now. I'll be back before dinner, don't worry."

Before I could get out of the car, he stepped out and opened the door for me. My heart skipped a beat as I breathed the calm wind. The blended scent of flowers, sweets, and coffees was in the air. I had to gulp down the resurfacing anxiety down the pit of my stomach and push myself towards the establishment.