1. HER
1578 Words
Liv
I sighed deeply as I looked outside the window, at the eternal sunset of Hell. Avalon and Elric were constantly mind-linking me and asking when I would come back to them. I just gave them vague answers, because I just couldn’t bring myself to tell them that I’ve no clue. I just know that will be much longer than they thought, than they expected.
A couple of days have already passed since Laius asked me to stay with him, and I could feel my other mates’ uneasiness growing through the bonds. Maybe, the fact that I didn’t even give them concrete answers only added up to their restlessness. Goddess, I suck as a mate, but being a mate of 3 dominant, powerful and old-as-dust Kings is not that easy. Anyways, I couldn’t make them wait anymore, I’d to give it straight and talk to them.
First, I mind-linked Elric.
~*~
Elric
I was working in my office, trying to occupy myself for the time to pass faster when I heard my mate’s sweet voice in my head.
“Elric,” she called.
“Liv!”
I could hear her breathing deeply even through our bond, and it only aggravated the edginess I’ve been feeling lately by being without her, without the other part of my soul, without my love.
“I decided to stay longer here in Hell. Laius needs me here and I think that’s the right thing to do for now.” She said
I gulped hard, what I dreaded most was happening, Laius got her. I’m afraid that he’s maybe even manipulating Liv somehow. However, even though it pains me immensely to do so, I have to try to respect her decision. I have to consider and respect my mate’s own choices. Not like I’ve done in the past.
“So, you don’t know when you will be back? Is that what you mean, my dear? I could go to see you there, Liv, in Hell,” I uttered.
“Yes, that’s what I mean. I think you shouldn’t come, at least not for now.” She answered, and I sighed deeply.
“As you wish. But try to come back soon, it is not easy to be without you.” I told her.
~*~
Liv
“As you wish. But try to come back soon, it is not easy to be without you.” Elric said and my heart sank a bit.
“It isn’t easy for me either. I hope to be back soon.” I said, before I sighed deeply. Damnit!
I cut the link with Elric. But before it, I could feel his frustration and distress flowing through our bond, and I couldn’t take it right now. I was already dealing with Laius emptiness and darkness, my own conflict, and the angst to be away from my mates. I so couldn’t add more to this heavy load.
My poor Elric. He should be fine, he isn’t being consumed by darkness, he’s always quite ‘put together’. And now that the bond is closed, he will be totally alright. I was trying to convince myself of that. I don’t want my Elric to suffer one bit.
I breathed deeply, trying to shake off my own uneasiness, and decided to rip the other Band-Aid off too and mind-link Avalon. Delaying the talk wouldn’t help anyways.
“Avalon” I called him through the small opening of our bond.
“Liv, when are you back?” He asked, sounding a bit edgy. He is almost always so stressed and angry.
“I don’t know yet. It’ll take longer than I thought. I will stay here for some time.”
“No! You should come back now! I can’t be that long away from my mate. That is not how it works.” That overbearing male stated, his words nothing less than a command. I huffed.
“Excuse me? Are you commanding me again? Can you just stop being so bossy and demanding, Avalon?” I snapped. I was still feeling hurt, his words, our latest discussion couldn't stop popping in my mind from time to time. I just can’t avoid thinking about it. Why does everything have to be so hard? I sighed.
“Just come back, we can discuss my bossiness here.” He said in an annoyed voice.
“No, I won’t!”
“Livia, come back! I am your mate. You belong by my side.” He demanded once more.
“I already gave you my answer… I need to go.”
“Don’t you dare, Livia!” he retorted angrily.
I cut the link. But before it, I got a tiny glint of his emotions. I could feel his rage and hurt. He was hurt. I didn’t see it coming, and well I couldn’t deal with that now. That will be a problem for ‘future Liv’.
How can someone deal with their own emotions and the emotions of 3 mates that overflow their bonds? The Goddess wasn’t nice to me by giving me such a job. Yeah, having 3 mates was like having 3 full-time jobs, there aren’t enough hours in a day. If I could meet the Goddess, I would give her a piece of my mind.
Anyways, I decided to erect walls in my bonds with Elric and Avalon. This way they wouldn’t be able to sense my feelings or share the intimacy of being inside my mind. We won’t be able to communicate by mind-link either. It hurts me to do this to my mates and to myself. But I just can’t do anything else. Dealing with their feelings and the consequence that such feelings would provoke in me was an even worse option.
I really hope that by closing our bonds and cutting the mental link, they will start missing me less and won’t be in pain. I really hope that closing the bond will make it better for them.
~*~
3rd person POV
She couldn’t have been more wrong. Having the mental link cut was extremely painful for any mate. Even when mates were physically apart, having their mental bond open could bring them some comfort.
Mates were not made to be apart. They were parts of the same soul and being without each other was torture.
~*~
Avalon
She left me, rejected me once more! Damn female! I couldn’t undergo it all over again. ‘She doesn’t like me as she likes her other mates’, these words echoed in my mind. Continually.
But, f*ck! This time without her, made me realise... The light of realisation broke between the shadows and darkness that were consuming my mind.
I miss her! I miss Livia! HER. Not a mate. Not a bond. HER.
My fire. She isn’t only a spark of life to illuminate the darkness and vanquish the death that is growing inside me in my damn long life. A life in which I held too much power and didn’t share myself with anyone. She is fire. Pulsing life, radiating energy, shining spirit. She wouldn’t only illuminate the dark places in my soul, she would overtake it, devour it. And what if the darkness is all that is left in me? And after she takes it in her flames, I would become just a handful of ashes?
Nevertheless… I wanted to burn.
I want to love her, love her in my own way, love her MY love. Challenge her, tease her, tame her and see her breaking free and smile in awe at her freedom. Take her in my arms. Look at her eyes knowing that she is my match.
Livia isn’t like the meek women that would bend to me, live only to satisfy my desires. She would rather make the floor come to her knees than kneel down to the floor. She would also challenge me, tease me, drive me crazy, and even make me a better man. Give me warmth and burn me as well.
She is no easy love, but nothing could be more worth it (as she is).
Some part of me knows that what I need is to let my walls down and let HER in.
But I couldn’t risk it.
What if she didn’t accept me once again?
~*~
Laius
I took all the necessary measures to avoid that Avalon and Elric could take my Sugar away from Hell, away from me.
I locked the gates to Hell with an ancient demonic spell, no one could leave or enter the Realm. I also sought the help of my old battlefield comrade, the Vampire King, Alexus. He sent some troops to guard the gates of Hell if someone managed to break the spell. I must have all my bases covered. A hoard of demons was also in guard. All Hell was hell-bent in guarding their Queen, my Queen.
- Writer
