Fated Love

Chapter 1-2

Penny’s heart slid to a stop, much like a horse refusing a jump at the last possible moment, then slamming into the obstacle. She had given herself a tiny bit of hope based on the fact that Lady Adina said there was no betrothal between Olivia and Mr. Santiago, so to hear her cousin say those words caused her world to stop spinning.

Her cousin leaned in closer to Penny and gripped her shoulders as she whispered, “I wish Aunt Edgar would drop that entire debacle. Neither one of us wishes to wed the other. Just because she walked in on me and Nate—er, Mr. Santiago—kissing, doesn’t mean we have to wed. His kiss wasn’t even that good. It was very much like kissing a rock, and… well… I cannot possibly marry someone who cannot kiss.”

Penny stepped away from Olivia’s grip. She was about to be ill. Nathaniel had kissed Olivia. He’d kissed her cousin, and the only thing Penny could think was Nathaniel had kissed her as well. For the past year and a half, she’d cherished the one and only kiss she’d shared with Nathaniel, remembering it fondly as a tender display of the affection they’d had for each other.

“Now, Mr. Carswell, or Mr. Timmons, back in Edinburgh, they can kiss and make a girl feel the most delicious things. As can Lord Blackmon.” Olivia shivered and fanned herself hurriedly with her gloved hand. “But, Mr. Santiago? The poor man doesn’t know what to do.”

“Excuse me, please,” Penny turned away. She forced herself to keep her composure. She couldn’t show weakness to her cousin, for who knew how she would use that against her. “I must finish readying myself for the evening. We can talk about this more later.”

Only there would be no later. If she could make it until her mother planned to go to Edinburgh to visit her friends, Penelope was leaving.

Olivia must have sensed Penny’s upset because her expression quickly changed to one of concern. “I’m sorry,” the younger girl said, with a false, apologetic tone. “I assumed you would have kissed men before. All the girls in my set of friends have kissed men. Some, many men. I’ve only kissed a handful and found it—”

Penny felt light-headed and somewhat ill, then excused herself to rush to the dressing room before she vomited in front of her cousin. Olivia continued chattering behind her, having now taken a seat at her dressing table, though Penny couldn’t hear a word of what her cousin was saying. The image of Olivia and Mr. Santiago in a romantic embrace was now forever burned into her brain, and the thought that he might have enjoyed Olivia’s kiss was causing her to breathe too rapidly. If she wasn’t careful, Penny thought she would faint. She could not let that happen. Not in front of Olivia who would then make use of it by embarrassing Penny in public with her exaggerating recitation of events.

Her cousin continued her idle chatter while Penny waited for her maid. Olivia went on and on about kissing, and how unhappy she was about being forced to wed. “He is handsome and has a modest inheritance—though he’s now partnered with Laethan in his rail-making business,” her cousin said, “so hopefully he’ll be incredibly rich one day. And if that’s the case then I suppose I could do worse.”

Olivia spoke of things Penelope would never speak of to someone she was only passing acquainted with—which was what Penny considered their relationship. She knew they were cousins, but they were not friends. She’d only met the girl maybe three times in her entire life. How on earth did Olivia know how much his inheritance was? Or who his relations were?

It broke her heart that she and Mr. Santiago had rarely spoken of his relations. Penny knew his uncle was the Earl of Chawsbridge, and that he was the one who’d helped him secure a job translating for a diplomat. But mostly what they spoke about during their rides in the park usually related to horses, and what he’d studied in Barcelona at university, and what he’d done since bringing his recently-widowed mother to England for an extended stay with her sister, also a widow.

Penny thought she nodded at her cousin’s nonsense, she wasn’t sure. She thought she smiled, but she wasn’t certain of that either. Only one thing rang clear in Penelope’s head and heart—Mr. Santiago had kissed Olivia.

Penny had been such a fool. Such a hopeful and blind fool. She never questioned his explanation of going on a job to another country as a translator for a diplomat. And, if he’d lied about caring for her, his job was probably a lie as well.

Olivia was obviously intimate enough with the man as she called him by a name Penny would never have presumed to call him. Penny had only known him for all of five weeks. At this point, Olivia had known him longer than she had. She’d likely been intimate with him in ways that Penelope had wanted to share with her Mr. Santiago—and that made her even more sick. Nathaniel wasn’t even Olivia’s first kiss, as she’d admittedly kissed at least three other men. Now she understood why Lady Adina didn’t believe there to be an understanding between the two. Lady Edgar believed her charge to be compromised, and the honorable thing for the gentleman to do was to marry the girl whose reputation he sullied. He likely wasn’t the first to ’sully’ her cousin, but he was the one who got caught.

Penelope was about to be ill. She wanted out of this conversation as quickly as possible before she humiliated herself in front of her cousin by bursting into tears.

Her maid, Annie, entered carrying the jeweled pins to finish styling Penny’s hair, and right then decided she couldn’t go through with it. She couldn’t sit through dinner, and the conversation to go with it, in the company of her cousin or her Aunt Edgar. Penny begged her cousin’s pardon and understanding. “I think I’m more exhausted than I first believed, and need to rest. Traveling over several days is exhausting.” She took a pin from her hair and handed it to Annie.

“You do look rather peaked. Perhaps I should send for Doctor Gowrey. He’s a guest here for the party as he is my brother’s maternal cousin, and he has just finished his exams and is now a practicing doctor in Edinburgh. He’s rather handsome as well, but he’s in trade, and—”

“If he’s a doctor then he’s a professional,” Penny corrected, “and an educated man.” Her cousin was such a peabrain she couldn’t even differentiate between the two.

“Oh, well… No matter, Aunt Edgar looks down on men who are in trade.” She backed toward the door. “I’ll send the man right up.”

Penelope stopped her. “No, please. All I need is my maid to help me out of this dress. I’m suddenly not feeling the thing. Please send my regrets to those joining you all for dinner. I will look forward to seeing you tomorrow if I am up to it.”

Olivia nodded and hurried into the hallway, closing the door behind her. Annie removed the rest of the pins in Penny’s hair as tears began to fall down her cheeks. She should never have come. Never agreed to this harebrained idea of making him jealous.

Once Penny had her nightdress and warm robe on, she sat in front of the fire and waited for her friends to come get her for dinner. She didn’t have to wait for long.

Charlotte arrived first, Isabel being notorious for taking longer to ready herself for anything, even a ride in the park. They each hugged her when she’d told them about the conversation she had with her cousin. Penelope tried to compose herself as she spoke, but was in tears again before she was finished.

“I’m not sure I can do this. I think it was a mistake for me to come here. If I could…” Penny sniffled back the tears. “If I could find a good enough reason to leave here now, I would.” She wiped her face with the back of her hands.

A few months ago, when she’d learned that he was back from his assignment, and in Scotland, she’d spent six days sick to her stomach that he had returned and not notified her. Upon waking on the seventh day, she vowed she would not go backwards in her emotions.

Her heart had mostly healed. Or, at least that’s what she’d told herself every day since the day she learned he was betrothed to mutton-brained Olivia. This was supposed to be the perfect opportunity to prove to herself that she’d been wrong about Mr. Nathaniel Gregorio Santiago del Andaluz. That he was not the man she’d thought. That he was, in fact, a scoundrel and a horrible blackguard. A man who stole a lady’s affections, and kisses, and said things to soften her to his ideas and plans.

“Penelope, I have to ask…”

It had been a glorious morning in the park, one she had planned to treasure always.

She would never forget the bashful grin on his face, the way the gold flecks in his coffee-colored eyes glowed from the sunshine breaking through the morning cloud cover. It had been after their usual brisk ride through the park, at a time when there were perhaps a handful of grooms out exercising their masters’ mounts, and the week before London was overrun by the families of the members of parliament and the official start of the season. Penny had been staying with Charlotte in London for several weeks as her father was working to get an agenda change for the upcoming session of parliament. Isabel joined them two weeks before the season began.

Nathaniel’s voice had trembled, much as her entire body had each time she was in his presence. His English, while grammatically perfect, was spoken with his native Spanish accent. The timbre was deep, warm, sensual. It had enveloped her heart, and she’d fallen for him so quickly that it defied all logic.

She and Nathaniel walked side by side, leading their horses and cooling them after a vigorous ride, with Charlotte and Isabel still mounted on their geldings. Her friends blocked their guards’ view of Penny and Nathaniel, and the two of them kept far enough ahead that her friends could not hear their conversation.

“Would you be amenable to me… asking your father… for permission to court you? With the eventual outcome being… ?”

He had lifted her hand and kissed the inside of her wrist above her riding glove, on her naked skin. To this day, Penelope still felt the quivering low in her belly just thinking about the feel of his hot, wet lips on the sensitive flesh above her palm.

“I understand we haven’t been acquainted long, and, while I might not know what this assignment is that I’ll be taking, or when I’m leaving, I know I want you as my wife. That is if you would also want me as your husband, because if you say yes, I will come back as soon as possible. And… The only woman I want in my life is you. Please… Would you do me the honor of marrying me upon my return?”

He’d been so nervous that she could hear the vibration in his lightly accented English.

More tears spilled over and tracked their paths down her cheek. When Isabel hugged her, it brought her out of the past and back to her room at Lyden Castle.

“Your mother said she would take us to Edinburgh with her next week if we wanted to go,” Isabel said.

“I may take her up on that, for this may be more than I can bear, even if he doesn’t come to Lyden,” Penny replied. “Though if you and Charlotte are enjoying yourselves, you should certainly stay. Do not let me be the one to end your party.”

“Let’s not think of that just yet,” Isabel said.

“Isa’s right. Any thought of leaving early is premature,” Charlotte added. “We’ll know more after dinner with Olivia and Lady Edgar.”

“I wish I knew when the earl was arriving with his friends. They will likely arrive together. And if I could leave with mother without having to see Mr. Santiago, I believe I will,” Penelope said. “The countess, my great-aunt Adina, said she didn’t know when they would return because the men were installing new equipment at the earl’s mill. I believe he purchased it before he came into the title, and is reluctant to give it up.”

Her maid entered the room from the connecting dressing area and stood silently a moment. “Yes, Annie?”