Damgeen High School Musical (Tagalog)

Chapter 6

Application

Damgeen.

What kind of school would be named like that? Just hearing it was making me cringe. They didn't tell or consult me about this. Tapos ngayon ay meron na agad akong school?

I'm having a bad feeling about it. Lalo na at bukod pa roon, mas hindi kaaya-aya dahil doon pa pala mismo nag-aaral ang lalaking iyon! Great!

As much as I want to ask them about that matter, I still couldn't as of the moment. The feast was done but the other dignitaries who wished to stay were still here. Including that guy!

I can't believe this! Really!

Pagkatapos ng dinner ay napagkasunduan na pumanhik sa living area. Bagot akong sumilip sa malaking orasan at hindi makapaniwalang mag-aalas otso na! Ang dami naman atang oras ng mga 'to?

They were only five right now. Kasama roon iyong Rave Jackson na abala sa pakikipag-usap din sa mga matatanda.

"Mom, I'm sleepy. Akyat na po ako sa room ko."

I tried begging her to let me go upstairs but she seemed determined and firmed on her answer. No.

I groaned and shook my head in disbelief.

"May mga bisita pa, Mich. It's disrespectful to leave when they're still in our house. They are guests," sa tono niya ng pangangaral.

Tamad akong tumango at napakamot ng kilay.

"Mabuti pa at samahan mo roon ang Dad mo. You're a very socialized girl so you might help him with our guests."

"I'm only socialized with my acquaintances and friends, Mom. I don't usually do the first move."

"Mich! Sa negosyo, hindi ganyan-"

"Labas lang po ako sandali. Pahangin lang," paalam ko.

Sa huli, tinanguan niya na lang ako at bumuntong-hininga. Kumuha muna ako ng isang wine na naka-serve sa table bago tuluyang lumabas ng mansiyon nang hindi tinitignan ang mga nasa living area.

I suddenly want a stick. But I know my parents would smell me so it isn't a good idea.

Mayroong lounger sa lanai pero mas pinili kong tumayo lang, nakahalukipkip, hawak ng kanang kamay ang wine glass, habang nakatanaw sa payapang swimming pool.

Sa totoo lang, kailanman ay hindi ko talaga nakahiligan ang negosyo. I know I'm still young and it's too early to talk about ends but really, I don't see myself in managerial works.

Maybe because I was too drown and fancied by music before? Or something related to immaturity and young age? I don't know. Ngunit wala pa talaga sa plano. Socializing with casual and civil people is far different from socializing with business ventures underneath the sheets.

I sipped on my wine. Pagkatapos ay marahan iyong pinaglaruan sa pamamagitan nang pag-ikot sa baso habang nakatanaw pa rin sa kawalan. Hanggang sa hindi ko na napansin, napalakas na pala at hindi na kontrolado, dahilan kung bakit natapon nang kaonti ang alak mula sa baso!

"Oh, my gosh!"

I didn't spill a wine on my dress but it was such a waste! Wala na ako masyado pang gana kung kukuha pa ng panibago sa loob. Napailing na lang ako at nilagok na nang tuluyan ang natira pa.

"Spilling wine is a bad omen."

Napabalikwas ako sa gulat nang biglang may sumulpot mula sa dilim. I panted merely. Pero nang nasilayan kung sino ang salarin, halos masamid na ako sa nalunok ko nang alak.

"W-What are you doing here?" My voice croaked as Rave Jackson neared me.

I was torn between running away or remaining with my stoic posture. Sa paraan naman ng kanyang paglalakad, hindi naman iyon agresibo. Ngunit ewan ko ba. Parang kahit wala naman siyang ginagawa, nakadikit na sa sistema na hindi siya iyong tao na dapat kong pakisamahan.

"It's getting boring inside talking with the ancient people," he said nonchalantly.

What a pretentious nutjob, putting up a polite and golden boy demeanor pero demonyo talaga. Napailing ako at tanaw na lang ulit sa swimming pool.

"Being with you is the bad omen," I whispered under my breath.

"Huh?" lito niyang tanong.

Peke ko lang siyang ngitian dahil nakaisip din naman agad ng palusot. I may be a bad liar but I'm good at banters.

"Ang sabi ko, saan mo naman narinig iyon? It's an old ancient superstition," I snickered as I emphasized the word ancient.

He sported a scowl on his face as he fished something inside his pocket.

"So you don't believe in superstitions, huh? I bet you ain't the type of fantasy girl, too."

I smirked sarcastically. "Nah. I just happened to know a newer version of superstition than yours. Spilling wine on a table brings good fortune and happiness to the household."

"Where's the table then?" walang amor niyang sambit.

Hindi ko na sinagot at nagpatuloy na lang sa paghinga. Well, too boring that breathing was all I could do here. Hindi ko nga ba alam kung bakit nagagawa ko pang kausapin ang lalaking ito nang kaswal, e, halos magbugahan na kami ng apoy noong nakaraan sa mall!

"So..." aniya nang mukhang nakuha na sa wakas ang kung ano sa bulsa. "You're a singer?"

I heard a static sound on my ears. Pansamantala akong naestatwa sa kinatatayuan. How did he know?!

"H-Hindi," I said as I cleared my throat, remained situated on my spot.

"Really?" he confirmed tenaciously.

"Tss."

"Instrumentalist then?"

"No."

"Composer? Conductor?"

"Kondoktor siguro, pwede pa."

"Tang inang biro 'yan."

"Pwede ba?!" iritado ko nang harap sa kanya.

Natigilan ako. He's now puffing his cig. Napalunok ako habang pinapanuod siyang itakip ang isang kamay sa gilid ng kanyang lighter para takpan ang apoy na hinahangin.

"Hmmm?" he followed up when he noticed me zoning out, cigar pressed between his lips, putting back the lighter inside his pocket.

As if a cat got my tongue, no words came out of my mouth. Ni hindi ko na alam kung ano nga ba ang pinag-uusapan namin. I was disturbed!

Inipit ng dalawang daliri niya ang stick bago muling bumaling sa akin. Binuga niya ang apoy at sumipol sa dulo.

Ngumisi siya. "I see. You smoke?"

Umiling ako at humalukipkip pa lalo.

"I-I'm not a fan of coffin nails."

He chuckled playfully. "The look on your face says otherwise. Come on, have some. Here..."

Mabilis niya akong nilahadan ng isang stick. Namilog ang mga mata ko at lihim na napalunok.

"A-Ayoko."

"Why?" sundot niya noon sa aking braso. "Because it's bad for your vocal cords? Ahh, singer."

"Lecheng hindi nga sabi, e!" bulalas ko sabay kuha na ng yosi.

Humalakhak siya, mukhang natutuwa na sa nangyayari. Sinamaan ko lang siya ng tingin at nilahad ang kamay para sa lighter.

He crouched a bit. My eyes widened when he just kindled my stick by blowing on his to mine!

Pagkaayos ng tayo, bilib na bilib siya sa kanyang sarili nang humarap sa akin. Hinimas niya ang kanyang baba, animo'y pinag-aaralan ang mukha ko.

Umiwas na lang ako ng tingin at tinitigan ang yosi. I suddenly felt so bad having even a stick on my hand. If he's here, for sure he won't let me and reprimand me right away...

I shook my head to cut off my thoughts and just puffed on my cig. Medyo naubo pa ako dahil nabigla.

Heck, I know for sure a stick is too much for a day. That means a cig is not really good for my voice and I should avoid it every day but... who cares? Hindi na naman ako kakanta kaya ayos lang ito dapat! At isa pa, kasama ata sa mga nasira ko noon ang vape ko!

"Hey. Haven't I seen you someplace before?" Rave suddenly blurted out.

Hindi ko iyon inaasahan. Sa pag-aakalang kanina pa lang ay namukhaan na niya ako, talagang ayos na ang tungo niya sa akin nang lapitan niya ako ngayon.

My eyes panicked. What if he didn't really recognize me and once I told him I was indeed that girl, he'd go flipping the chairs and throwing darts at me again?!

What should I answer?!

Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.

No. With a face like that, I'd probably never forget about you if I saw you before.

I swallowed the lump on my throat with those ideas and shook my head. Napahigop ako ng yosi dahil sa panandaliang kaba. Either way, I'd just put myself between the devil and the deep blue sea!

Humalakhak siya at napaapir sa sarili nang mukhang may napagtanto. Napapikit ako nang mariin at muling bumuga ng usok.

"Ang sabi ko naman sayo, galingan mo sa pagdadasal..."

Napaatras ako nang humakbang siya nang isang beses patungo sa akin. Napasinghap ako.

I clenched my jaw. "f**k off."

"Stop me then, Miss Maddison..." he almost whispered menacingly, especially with what he addressed me.

Miss Maddison. I echoed on my mind.

Another step and I felt the cold surface of the wall behind me. Rave halted and cornered me, tossing the cigarette on the ground and stomping on it, grinding it with his shoe very firmly.

He dramatically bit his lower lip as he examined my face. Inabot niya pa ang baba ko at inangat para ilebel ang aking mga mata sa kanya.

What the heck?

Napamura ako at tulak sa kanyang dibdib ngunit naagaw niya iyon!

"You really aren't a religious person, huh? I bet you forgot praying..." he smirked.

I almost rolled my eyes!

"Sadyang malas lang para makita ka pa."

He glowered at me. "That hurt, you son of a bitch."

His jaw worked but a cocky grin remained on his lips. My blood turned cold and my heart was in my mouth. Hindi ko maintindihan ang sarili kung bakit hinahayaan kong gawin ito sa akin ngayon ng lalaking ito!

"You're not an *instrumentalist?"

Kumunot ang noo ko. He looked persistant about that matter. Pake ba niya?!

"Hindi nga!"

"Singer. No?"

Ang sarap magmura!

"Hindi rin!"

He tilted his head and narrowed his eyes on me. "Then... why Damgeen?"

Napakurap-kurap ako. "B-Because why not... D-Damgeen?"

My lips quivered with the school name. Muli siyang tumawa. His adam's apple moved when he swallowed as he finally let go of me.

"Oo nga naman... Bakit hindi, Michaela Maddison?" he uttered devilishly.

I grimaced. It would be nice to correct him but I was too desperate to stop this trivial bullshit.

Kung noong nakaraan ay handa pa akong sumugal ng kayamanan para lang humaba pa ang mga patutsada. Ngayon, hindi ko na masikmura ang lahat ng nangyayari.

He's too overwhelming to endure. It's too... suffocating. Para bang isang mapanganib na taong ang daming tinatagong lihim. He's asking me series of capricious questions but whenever I looked at his orbs, he seemed to know the answers pretty well despite my little fibs.

Huh. Rave Jackson, what are you up to?

Hindi na rin naman nagtagal nang isang oras nang tuluyan nang nagpaalam nang unti-unti ang mga bisita.

Just like what they wanted me to do, I tried my best to plaster my sweetest smile when we sent them off. But not until my eyes met Rave Jackson. Lahat ata ng tamis sa ngiti ko ay tinangay ng isang kumpol ng langgam. I frowned and went inside the house right away.

Hinintay ko pa munang makapasok sila Mom at Dad. Hilary was already inside her room. Bagay na pinagkait nila sa akin kanina. Very not so fair.

"You can now go to your room, Mich. Good job today," bungad sa akin ni Mommy nang naabutan pa nila ako sa living area.

My eyes drifted to Daddy. Naabutan ko itong niluluwagan na ang suot na necktie, bakas na bakas ang pagod sa kanyang hitsura kaya naman nagdalawang isip pa ako kung ngayon na ba kakausapin tungkol sa eskuwelahan.

Damgeen is not very familiar to me. Lalo na at wala pa namang nababanggit sa akin ang mga magulang tungkol doon.

"Go up to your room now, anak. It's time to rest," si Daddy.

Napabuntong-hininga ako. Tumayo na at napagpasyahang bukas na lang magtanong tungkol doon.

Pagkatapos maligo, balak ko sanang i-research na muna ang tungkol doon ngunit naantala nang tumunog ang phone pagkalabas ng banyo.

I let my towel hanging on my shoulder as I reached for my phone on my nightstand. Pumunta ako sa balkonahe at nakita ang pangalan ni Natasha sa screen.

"Hello?"

"Michaela Singh!" she yelped in a high pitch.

My face furrowed. I sat on one of the chairs on the coffee table at the balcony before responding.

"Natasha Gayle Garduque."

"Oh, my gosh! You won't believe what I'm going to say!"

I grimaced. "So what's the point of telling me?"

Hindi niya pinansin ang pambabara ko. I heard her sighed miserably.

"Umamin na ako kay Emmanuel..."

"H-Huh?"

Umamin?

Sa mga oras na iyon, para akong nabingi sa narinig. Sinubukan kong tumawa habang napapailing na kalaunan, hirap na maniwala sa sinabi ni Natasha.

"Nagpapatawa ka ba, Nat? Tapos na ang April 1, ha?" biro ko kahit parang pinupunit na ang puso ko.

"I wish you were still here, Mich..." malungkot niyang bulong mula sa kabilang linya.

Bahagya akong nahabag para sa sarili nang narinig ang nangingig niyang boses.

Natasha has always been positive, cheerful, loud, and other traits that a typical chatterbox possesses. Kaya ang bihira niyang pagseseryoso nang ganito ay hindi ko pa rin nagawang makasanayan.

"What happened?" tanong ko, pinagpapaliban na muna ang sariling nararamdaman.

She laughed haywire. "You know... It sounds crazy and corny. But I've been hanging out with different guys because... I-I need to divert my attention."

My lips parted. Tingin ko, alam ko na kung saan patungo ang usapang ito.

Bumuntong-hininga na lang ako at napamasahe sa sentido. I chose to remain silent and let Natasha pour her heart on this conversation.

"Kasi alam kong imposible. Emmanuel is not the type of man... or bi, who'd settle for people close to him. A-Alam naman natin iyon, 'di ba? Kaya... sinubukan kong kalimutan kasi alam kong wala akong pag-asa dun. Sa tagal nating magkakaibigan, natuto akong magpapalit-palit ng boyfriend kasi... kasi desperada..."

Natasha's laughters were tearing my hearts apart. Napapikit ako nang mariin nang unti-unting nararamdamang guilty ako sa paksa na ito.

"Alam mo ba ang sabi ni Emman?" muling tawa ng kaibigan. "P-Pasensiya na raw kasi... m-may iba siyang gusto."

Kinagat ko ang labi, tuluyan nang nasasaktan para sa kaibigan. I don't want to assume, alright? But based on our encounters, I'm pretty sure it was me? Pero... posible rin namang hindi lang ako ang gusto niya, hindi ba? Puwede rin namang... biro lang iyon.

Our last moment together flashed on my mind. May mahinang boses na nagsabing totoo ang lahat ng iyon at dapat kong paniwalaan.

"How is it possible, Mich? E, papalit-palit din naman iyon ng gusto!" Natasha snapped.

Natigilan ako, hindi pa rin makasagot.

"Do you know anything about it, Mich? Alam ko namang mas open sayo si Emman, e. Please... In case you have an idea, tell me... Kahit kasi gender noong gusto niya, hindi niya inamin sa akin!"

Tila mapupunit na ata ang labi ko sa sobrang diin na ng pagkakakagat ko roon.

"I-I don't know, Nat..." Bahagya pa akong umiling. "I'm... sorry."

I'm sorry about lying...

Sandaling natahimik ang kabilang linya. Ginapangan agad ako ng kaba.

"Nat?" I tried calling.

No response.

My brows furrowed. "Natasha!"

Then her humorless laugh echoed on the line. Sa pag-aakalang tungkol iyon sa kung anong dapat kong ikabahala, nagsitindigan ang mga balahibo ko.

"Mich..." she called blandly.

Now I'm shitting bricks. "O-Oh?"

"Aalis na siya. Sa... ibang bansa na mag-aaral."

Namilog ang mga mata ko. "S-Si Emmanuel?"

"Oo. Kaya... nagawa ko na ring aminin ang nararamdaman ko. Dahil next week na ang alis."

From guilt, to forlorn, then spite. Tuluyan nang nawala sa isip ko ang pakay sana sa gabing iyon. Pagkatapos ng tawag kay Natasha ay agad kong hinanap ang number ni Emman at tinawagan iyon.

At first, his line was busy. Lalo akong nainis. I tapped my foot on the ground as I waited for a while. Kung ano-ano na ang nabubuo sa utak ko sa mga sandaling iyon.

Tulad ng... bakit wala akong alam tungkol doon? Bakit hindi niya sinabi last week noong nag-housewarming party? At bakit naman... kailangan pang lumipat? Sa ibang bansa pa!

Halos tumirik na ang mga mata ko sa kakarolyo. Ang layo ko na nga! Mas lalayo pa siya!

And on top of that, why am I so damn furious about this? Ano naman ngayon kung sa ibang bansa na mag-aaral? What does it have to deal with me?

Napaungol ako sa iritasyon. Kasi kung mahal ka niya, dapat ka niyang panindigan!

Teka. Panindigan saan? E, hindi naman ako buntis! Damn it!

Kaya naman, bago pa lumala ang kahibangan ko, muli ko nang pinindot ang call button at halos pataubin ko na ang mesa nang sa wakas, sinagot na niya!

"What's the-"

"Ano 'yung nabalitaan ko?" putol ko agad sa kanya.

Hindi agad ito nakapagsalita, mukhang lito pa sa bigla kong pagsambulat.

After a while, I heard him sigh.

"I've been facing many things right now-"

Natawa ako. "Okay, pasensiya! Nakakaabala pala ako kung ganoon?"

"No, Michaela. What I mean to say is... which one of those news did you hear about?" he answered throatily.

Bigla akong nahiya para sa tono ko kanina. I bit my lip and firstly calmed myself before answering.

"N-Natasha has... feelings for you?"

Now that it dawned on to me, I realized I was merely breathing. My heart tugged a little but I still managed to keep a stiff upper lip.

"Yeah..." he confirmed hoarsely.

"Oh... O-Okay..."

Iba pala ang pakiramdam kapag sa kanya na nanggaling. Parang mas... totoong involve nga siya roon. At mas naging malinaw sa akin na nangyari ang senaryong iyon nang wala ako. Imagining them talking in private suddenly kicked my heart for some reasons that I don't understand.

"Pinaliwanag ko naman, Mich. Na... may iba akong gusto," dagdag niya.

"G-Gusto?"

Ako nga talaga?

I heard Emman cleared his throat. "Ibig kong sabihin, may iba akong mahal."

My heart raced in a heartbeat when I heard his random correction. Hindi iyon ang ibig kong sabihin kaya inulit ko 'yung salitang iyon!

Heat flooded my cheeks. Napatikhim ako.

"I-I mean, may iba kang gusto?"

"Mahal..." he still corrected.

Napahilamos ako gamit ang kamay, bigla nang hindi kinakaya ang usapan.

"S-Sino?" I asked with a small voice, still hesitant.

Emmanuel wasn't able to respond instantly. Lalo tuloy akong kinabahan at nagsisi na tinanong pa. I shouldn't have said that!

"Kilala mo kung sino."

My heart ached in so much something I was feeling that time. I'm still not sure about that something. But I'm certain it's a positive feeling.

Posible pala iyon. Na maging positibo ang pakiramdam ng munting pangingirot sa puso. Mayamaya, natagpuan ko na lang ang sariling napapayakap sa nakatiklop na tuhod, binabaon doon ang aking mukha.

"Tss..." Iyon na lang ang nasabi.

Bigla ko tuloy naisip. Katulad din kaya ni Natasha, napaamin lang din si Emman dahil... mapapalayo na ako? Dahil sa takot na baka huli na ang lahat? Kaya naman mas mabuti pang sumugal kaysa masayang ang pagkakataon?

Kung ganon, ang lupit pala, ano? Like a paradox, you'll just have the courage to confess your feelings, that you want them to know it and be with them closer than ever, exactly when you're bound to lose them...

Bahagyang bumuntong-hininga si Emmanuel pagkatapos ng sandaling katahimikan.

"I'm leaving," he almost whispered.

Napapikit ako nang dinama kung gaano karahan ang kanyang boses sa pandinig ko. I buried my face on my knees and bit my lip.

"It's okay. I understand... You can leave. They all do."

"Mich..." he uttered with a fraction of difficulty.

Napailing ako. "I-I mean... I don't know."

Umahon ako mula sa pagkakayuko at tinanaw ang kawalan.

"It's... It's fine, I think. And I understand. I have... nothing to do with it anyway. You know, uh... I'm just... g-gonna miss you that's why..." I stopped when I realized I wasn't sure where my statement was heading.

Tinikom ko na lang ang bibig at napasinghap. The silence stretched longer than usual. Tingin ko rin kasi, posibleng maging siya ay hindi na rin maintindihan kung ano ba ang gusto kong mangyari. Ayos lang. Kasi ako rin naman, naguguluhan pa kaya hindi ko siya masisisi.

Later on, I heard a rolling sound of a glass material against a plastic one. When the background noise went unsteady, I figured he probably went outside his balcony, too.

"Do you want to... you know, get a drink sometime before I... go to US?" he asked.

My lips twitched.

"No," I declined firmly.

"Hmmm. Alright..."

His disappointment almost broke my heart. But what would I do? If I let that happen, it would probably harder to let him go!

Hindi ko na nasundan pa kung paano natapos ang usapang iyon. Basta ang alam ko na lang, matagal pa bago ako hilahin ng antok noong gabing iyon dahil sa dami ng iniisip.

Kinuha ko ang papel na pinaglistahan ko ng mga pwedeng pagkaabalahan ngayong bakasyon kinabukasan. I was done with familiarizing the subdivision. Hindi pa man nalilibot nang buo, ngunit dahil hindi naging maganda ang una kong karanasan para doon ay pinagpaliban ko na lang muna.

Decorating my room. Hmmm. I'm just halfway done with it but for now, I think researching for my new school would be better for that day.

Hindi ko na naabutan sa mansiyon sina Daddy pagkababa ko. The mansion was sullen when I went to the kitchen. Sinubukan akong pagsilbihan ng mga kasambahay, panay mga bago iyong nakikita ko.

I sighed and let them do that. Naghintay na lang ako sa dining room. I don't want to fire up the househelps' issues about my attitude and treatment to them so I think it's fine. Simpleng breakfast lang naman. Hindi nagtagal nang umakyat na rin ako sa room ko.

Aaminin ko, lubha akong naapektuhan sa naging usapan namin ng mga kaibigan. Who would have thought that Natasha has secret feelings for Emmanuel? Who... happened to have feelings for me, too?

Napapailing ako habang binubuksan ang laptop. Sa tagal naming magkakasama, hindi ko lubos ma-imagine na matagal nang ganoon ang sitwasyon. At pilit lang na tinatago ang mga nararamdaman.

I lowered my sight to the laptop and clicked on a search engine. Tinipa ko roon ang pangalan na narinig ko.

Damgeen.

At first, I was doubtful. So I added the word 'school' to be more specific. And luckily, I've got plenty of informative articles and websites displayed before me!

Damgeen: A Legit School of Superstars

Damgeen Setting the High Chair of Stage Performance

Cultivating Talents at Damgeen: Apply Now!

Talent Scouts, Preparing for Another Semestral End of Damgeen

Damgeen Receives ISO 9001:2015 Certification for Quality Management System

Damgeen Won the Most Prestigious Music School for Consecutively 14 Years Now

Palalim nang palalim ang bawat paglunok ko habang parami nang parami ang nabubuong ideya kung anong klaseng eskuwelahan ba ito.

Only the titles and article headlines but I was already shivering to death.

What the heck? Damgeen High School Musical? Are you freaking kidding me?!

I've been in an informal music school before, alright! But an academe this prestige and opulent devoted for music? This isn't normal anymore! This is crazy!

Siguro kung noon ay kikinang na ang mga mata ko sa pagkamangha para doon. Ngayon, para akong nilulusaw sa kaisipang sinadya iyon ng mga magulang. They knew I'm already neglecting my lifestyle for music now. They're doing this on purpose. That's for sure!

"This is for you, Michaela," si Daddy sa ikatlong beses sa hapag.

Halos itaob ko na ang mesa para lang intindihin ang lohika sa argumentong iyon.

"Paanong naging para sa akin, Dad? Ipaintindi niyo naman sana. Lahat na lang, para sa akin!"

"Are we really going to discuss this over the dinner?" problemadong tanong nito.

Abot-langit ang pagkokontrol ko sa sarili hanggang sa natapos na kami sa hapunan. Mom and Dad invited me over their study. Nasa kanya-kanya silang lamesa nang pumasok ako at saka lang sumunod nang pumunta na ako sa couch.

Dad put his glasses down on the coffee table, clasping his hands when he sat down beside Mommy.

"We're already working on your papers, Mich. Our decision is final."

Nalaglag ang panga ko. "H-How can you do this to me?"

"This is for your growth, anak..." si Mommy na ngayon.

"This is a total torture! Sa ibang normal na eskuwela na lang, Mom, Dad... Mabubulok lang ako sa school na iyon!"

Umiling si Daddy. "You'll get a hold of it in no time, honey."

I rested my elbows on my knees. I cupped my face in disbelief

"Ayoko na..." My voice croaked. Umiling ako. "Don't make this hard for me..."

Naramdaman ko ang mainit na palad ni Mommy sa braso ko habang nakatuon pa rin sa kamay ang aking ulo.

"Just trust us, Mich..." aniya.

I rose from my hands. "How can I trust this one if I'm in oblivion?"

Natahimik silang dalawa at nagkatitigan. Napatikhim ako at tumayo na mula roon.

"I'm tired of arguing about this since you already looked undeterred with my feelings," walang gana ko nang sabi.

Mom sighed. "Please, Mich. Don't stir anymore storm in the teacup."

Dumiretso na ako sa pintuan at inabot ang seradura.

"Let's just get this over with then. Damgeen, it is. But don't expect me to be compliant for the rest."

Walang utang na loob? Walang modo? Fine. Bakit hindi natin panindigan?

Simple lang naman ang hinihingi ko. I just need them to cooperate. But seriously? I smirked humorlessly.

Damgeen High School Musical... Do they really have to push it? Maraming academic high school dyan! Mas may growth nga doon, 'di ba? I thought they want me to take over the business they'll soon to venture? What's with the sudden change of heart?

Hindi naging madali para sa akin ang mga sumunod na araw. I tried my best to evade them. Tuwing papakainin ay nakikisuyo na lang ako kay Manang Tina na iakyat sa kuwarto ang pagkain ko.

Hanggang sa dumating ang Sabado at araw na ng pag-alis ni Emman. He only left me a message. I cried for that night. I will miss him. I need him but I know I shouldn't be a burden.

Siz Emma:

Mich, today's my flight. I wanted to see you before I leave but I respect your decision. I understand and I'm sorry for everything. I know you've been through a lot these past few months and I even added a share to it. Then leave after.

I want to prove my intention for you but for now, I can't. Iniisip ko na lang na sapat naman ang mga panahong nasa tabi mo akong tuwing kailangan mo ako. Pero alam kong hindi.

Babalik ako, Michaela. Babalik ako sayo. But for now, I may be physically absent but I'll make sure to be available when you need me. And lastly, please, shortie? Don't forget where you came from. Don't neglect who you are. Don't neglect music. When I return, I want you to sing for me. Just like before.

Look after yourself for me, alright? Behave well with people. Not everyone can stand that attitude. Don't party. Don't wake up in a stranger's house. Wala pa ako para iuwi ka. Don't smoke. Study your t**s out. And please, change my profile name to Emmanuel from now on.

Until then, Michaela. Remember me the second time.

Pinikit ko ang mga mata pagkatapos palitan ang kanyang pangalan sa contacts ko.

"Remembering you is not the hardest part, Emmanuel," I whispered, now admitting my long denied feelings. "Unloving you is..."

I spent the rest of the vacation like a lifeless soul. That year's vacation became the most unproductive vacation I've ever had.

Bumuga ako ng malalim na hininga bago buksan ang pinto ng sasakyan. In front of me is the prestigious school where I was forced to study. Grievance creeped on my system.

If I ever had another choice aside from this, kahit siguro pampublikong high school ay papatulan ko na. Mas nanaisin ko pang mamuhay ng ordinaryong high school life kaysa makipagpaligsahan sa eskuwelahang ito.

I did my thorough research though. Kahit papaano ay may nalalaman na rin ako sa mga palakaran na naroroon sa kanilang official website. Kaya naman nang nakapasok na ay alam ko na rin kung saan dapat didiretso.

"Transfer application for grade 12," I informed the admission staff nonchalantly as I laid down my records.

The middle aged woman poked her eyeglasses to check my papers. Mukha atang hindi narinig ang sinabi ko kaya nang nakita ang mga records kasama na ang TOR, saka lang nakapagreak doon.

"Huh? Miss, hindi kami tumatanggap ng application nang ganito ka-late."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "Inasikaso na po ng parents ko ang application. I'm just here to submit the hard copies of my requirements and records."

"Huh?"

Muli niyang kinuha ang plastic folder ko at pinagulong ang kanyang swivel chair patungo sa kanyang katabi. After a while, an older woman moved her eyeglasses downwards to me, as if examining my face.

"Michaela Singh?" she asked critically.

I wrinkled my nose. "Yes?"

She narrowed her eyes one last time. Completely perplexed, my lips parted when the older lady beamed out of a sudden.

"Siya ang anak ng mga Maddison, Jenny!"

"Ganoon ba? Iba kasi ang apelyido, Ma'am."

After that incident, they were finally able to accommodate me properly. At dahil naasikaso na nga ng mga magulang, hindi rin nagtagal at natapos na rin ako. They took a picture of me for my school ID but I couldn't remember myself striking my most photogenic pose.

I just couldn't feel being cooperative and amenable with all these.

After my errand, hindi ko na napigilang mapatanaw sa paligid. I must admit, entrance must really depicted the upscale lifestyle and abundance of the school that I imagined.

Dalawang linggo na lang kasi ay magsisimula na ang klase. Dahilan kung bakit bahagya akong kinabahan kanina nang sabihin sa admission na hindi na sila natanggap nang ganito ka-late. Akala ko talaga, denied ang application ko!

Hindi ko alam kung matutuwa ba dapat ako o matatakot para sa mga magulang kung nagkataon. Sa huli, ipinagsawalang-bahala ko na lang iyon at pumanhik na kung saan nakaparke ang SUV namin.

Isang grupo ng mga kabataan ang nakasalubong ko papasok naman sa establisyimento. Medyo napukaw ang atensiyon ko dahil mukhang mga estudyante ng Damgeen at panay tawanan habang naglalakad, may mga dalang art materials.

"First day na naman! Sino kaya isasalang sa *fanfare?"

"Mga *rookie na naman!"

"Pero, 'di ba? May pasabog ang Kaharayan?"

"Depende. Kung papayag magpasapaw iyong VOTY."

"Sayang nga! Ga-graduate na sila!"

"Sus! Sila- Hoy! Ibaba niyo ako!"

I don't think I can stay too long in this place. Nilagpasan ko na sila nang tuluyan. Pagkakita sa driver ay kumaway na ako.

April 14, 2020