AVOIDING COMMITMENT (Avoiding #1)

Chapter 2-3

“I hope you don’t mind, but I couldn’t leave without a hug,” he said, squeezing her a little tighter.

“Oh no,” she breathed, “I don’t mind at all.”

Jack placed her back on her feet, and she stared dreamily up into his eyes. He bent down planting a light kiss on her cheek before straightening up once again and making his way back to the driver’s side. Lexi waved as he barreled down the road, leaving her standing there breathless.

It had definitely been a date.

The next few weeks went by in a blur. Lexi and Jack were together as much as humanly possible. When he was working at the coffee shop, she could be found studying across from his counter. When her classes let out, he was waiting for her outside the old brick building with a steaming cup of her favorite brew and a slice of pound cake. She became a regular in their household, staying up late into the night playing video games. His roommates didn’t mind her coming over, because they loved the look on Luke’s face, when she kicked his ass at Mario Kart.

The only time they didn’t spend together was football games. Olivia’s legacy went back several generations, and Lexi usually followed her to their tailgate spot on North Campus, along with the rest of their friends. Jack typically had a space reserved with his buddies on East Campus. Since he was from Savannah, he tended to return there during away games, and Lexi found that she missed him more than she was willing to admit.

That’s how she ended up designating Sundays as movie night.

As she walked through his door, on this particular Sunday night, Jack pulled Lexi into an easy hug. She snuggled up into his sweater, inhaling the familiar smell of his cologne, as it lingered on his skin and in his clothes.

“This weekend seemed to drag on forever,” Lexi whispered.

“I know. I missed you too,” he said. He directed her toward the couch. When he looked at her again, he said, “You’re beautiful.”

A smile stretched across her face. “Thank you. You don’t look too bad yourself.”

She knocked her hip against his before sinking into the brown suede couch. He landed next to her. Throwing her dark chocolate boat shoes onto the carpet, she stretched her legs out crossing them on the coffee table.

“So, what are we watching tonight?” she asked.

Before he had a chance to answer her, his phone buzzed on the table. Attempting to be courteous, Lexi reached forward to hand it to him, but he was too quick. He eagerly snatched it up off the table and stood to read the name. After a brief pause, he silenced it.

“I’ll call them back,” he said.

He sank back into his place at her side. Then, he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into his lap, burying his head into her hair.

“You smell like Heaven.”

She giggled, smacking his hand playfully. “I showered before I came over.”

“Well…that’s a nice change.”

She smacked him harder this time, pushing at one of his arms that was holding her tightly in place. “Stop sniffing me like a dog.”

“Then stop smelling so damn good,” he said, breathing her.

His face was so close to her body that she could almost feel his lips against her bare neck. She stopped struggling and tuned into how her body was reacting to him. Her breathing had quickened, and her body was warm all over. His nose brushed lightly against her ear. She shivered, as goose bumps broke out across her arms and down her back at his touch. He didn’t let her go, and he didn’t back off. This was new, and she liked it.

“God, I want you, Lex,” he said.

He ran a line of kisses down her exposed jaw line.

Lexi’s closed her eyes. As his kisses intensified, moving from her jaw to her ear and then down her neck, she sighed heavily, c*****g her head back to allow him easier access. He laid her gently back against the couch, moving his body so that it was hovering just above her with one leg positioned between hers. Their eyes met briefly before his mouth went from one cheek to another experimentally. She sighed as he inched closer to her wet, trembling lips. She let loose a moan as he pushed himself against her.

She laced her fingers through his hair and gazed up into his crystal clear blue eyes, practically begging him to continue. He leaned forward to meet her lips. She sighed happily waiting for that moment, but it never came. Instead, his phone buzzed noisily in his pocket. His attention wavered, and he pulled back from her.

“Don’t stop,” she urged him. “You can call them back.”

The limbo he left her in was torturous. Her desire for him was overflowing, and they had yet to even kiss.

He smiled at her lovingly and kissed her cheek, before moving from his position on top of her. Fishing the phone out of his pocket, he took a look at the name, and once again silenced it.

“You’re right. I can just call them back.”

He hopped off the couch and quickly scooped her up into his arms. Lexi laughed unexpectedly, as he effortlessly carried her into his room, kicking the door open with his foot. She fell back against the navy blue comforter, her shirt sliding up nearly to her chest. She stretched languidly, allowing him a full view of her lean, muscled body.

He crawled from the foot of the bed up to her abdomen and left one lone kiss next to her bellybutton. His hands raked the bare skin, traveling upward from there. Sighing contentedly, his lips landed back on her neck. He darted his tongue against her tender skin, making her writhe.

“Oh, Jack,” she breathed.

Bringing his head up to look at her, she noticed his breath was coming in short puffs. She teasingly wiggled her hips from side-to-side and then in small circles, watching as he groaned on top of her.

“You’re so mean.”

“Really? I thought I was being really nice,” she replied, twirling her hips in a figure eight.

“A little too nice.” He sighed closing his eyes as she ran her tongue along his earlobe. “You’ve found my weakness.”

He grabbed her arms in his hands and pushed them above her head, forcing her back against the bed.

“Well, if I found your weakness, then you shouldn’t push me away.”

“I don’t want to push you away, but I’m going to take advantage of you, if you keep doing that,” he said, rolling over to the other side of the bed.

Lexi flipped her leg as he rolled, straddling his body. “I haven’t even gotten a kiss. So, I don’t feel as if I’m in much danger of being taken advantage of.”

“You are the most amazing girl I’ve ever met.”

He brushed his fingers across her cheek.

Her lips landed lightly on his and instantly, knew she wanted more. Just as he began to react, his pocket vibrated, making Lexi jump backward in exasperation. He swore under his breath.

“I’ll be right back,” he grumbled. Then, he yanked out the phone, casually adjusted his erection, and exited the room.

Falling back against the bed, she sighed heavily. She couldn’t tell if she was being too forward. Even though they had only been hanging out for a couple of weeks, she could tell he was really into her. She was unbelievably ready for his lips to be on her.

Normally, when she was in this position, guys were absolutely dying to get in her pants. Jack clearly wanted to kiss her…do more than kiss her. But he hadn’t even tried. She respected that he respected her, but enough was enough. She yanked her shirt back into place and sat up straight-backed against the black headboard, folding her arms across her knees.

“Sorry about that,” he apologized, as he came around the corner, scratching the back of his head.

“It’s all right.” Her smile had lost its fire. “How about that movie?”

They retreated back to the living room. Both attempted to forget that they had been so close to ravishing each other’s bodies only a few short minutes earlier.

As time went by, their encounters continued, each with as much or more intensity as the last. Then, they would stop, always just a little bit farther than the last time.

He captivated her thoughts and was even beginning to make his way into her dreams. The previous night, her dream had felt so real. When she had woken up to find herself in her dorm room, rather than wrapped in Jack’s arms, she had been so frustrated she had actually woken Jennifer up. It was safe to say, neither girl had been pleased.

The next day, Lexi forced herself to survive her three classes, before driving over to Jack’s house. She knew that he had the day off and was anxious to see him. After the exceedingly vivid dream, she could hardly concentrate without images of him pressed against her entering her mind.

She knocked on the door to announce her presence and then pushed it open without waiting for a response. Jack stood in the living room on his cell phone. He glanced over at the door and held up a finger, as if to tell her he would just be a minute. He moved into the bedroom and closed the door. So, she sat down on the couch to wait.

Jack wandered into the room a few minutes later, and she eagerly hopped up from her seat to greet him. The smile he returned to her was weak and he held up his hand.

“Lexi.” He said her name as if reprimanding her.

She looked at him concerned, her eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Sorry,” she said. She didn’t know why she was sorry just that he was off somehow.

“No, Lex, it’s fine. I just need to talk to you about some stuff.” He averted his.

Lexi took a good look at him. Large black circles ringed his eyes, as if he hadn’t slept the night before…for several days even. His clothes, which were normally in pristine condition, hung off him, wrought with wrinkles. He hadn’t even given her a hug, when she had walked in. Something serious was going on.

“Oh, okay. Well, go ahead. I’m all ears.”

He sighed heavily, finally meeting her eyes. “I have a girlfriend.”

“You, what?” she practically screamed at him.

His head fell to his chest and he wouldn’t meet her gaze.

“She doesn’t live here. That’s how you haven’t come across her. We’ve been dating since high school.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Tears unintentionally sprang to her eyes. “How can you stand there and tell me that everything we have is a lie?”

She pushed past him and into the kitchen, running her hands against the sides of the cool countertop in an attempt to calm herself. It didn’t work.

“It’s not a lie.”

She glared at him fiercely, her jaw locked tight.

“How?” Lexi asked through her teeth, smacking the countertop with the palms of her hands.

“Lex, I can explain.”

“Oh, can you?” she asked. “How can you possibly explain?”

He paused, achingly watching the tears stream down her cheeks. “Look, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, you’re sorry?” she retorted, throwing her hands in the air. “What good does that do? How does this solve anything? I don’t need your apology, and anyway you still haven’t given me an explanation. You said you could explain. Well, try. Please, try to explain to me how any of this can possibly be okay. How could you lie and deceive me like this? All those things that you said. God, did you mean anything you said?”

“Please, don’t cry. We weren’t even really together.”

She shot him a look of death. He threw his hands up in defense.

“I know we spent a lot of time together.”

“Enough time that the fact that you had a girlfriend might have come up, don’t you think?”

“Yes. I wanted to tell you so many times.”

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Jack. If you wanted to tell me, then you would have. Obviously, you didn’t want me to know. You wanted to double dip.”

“Oh, stop with that,” he said, taking her shoulders in his hands. “I stopped what we were doing before anything serious happened.”

“Before anything serious happened. Really? Are you serious?”

“Lex…I…”

She cut him off, not really wanting to hear his definition of what serious was.

“Is that what all those phone calls were? All those weekends at home? You were visiting your…girlfriend.” He nodded solemnly. “You let me go through all of this, let me feel like we were working toward something, while the whole time you were parading around with your girlfriend? What kind of person does that?”

“Lexi, please.”

She couldn’t listen to him pleading with her. She just couldn’t do it.

Suddenly, her voice shifted from despair to anger. “So, tell me, what did your girlfriend say when you told her that you had let some other girl sleep in your bed? What did she say when you told her that you would trail kisses across that same girl’s face and down her neck with countless promises for more? Hmm? What did she say when you told her how beautiful you thought I was, and how much you had never met any other girl as amazing as me? Was she happy? Wait, let me guess, you didn’t tell her. Of course not, because had you told her, then she would be the one crying right now. Not me.”

Jack brushed his hair back from his eyes and paced away from her. “Please, Lexi, God, I didn’t want this to happen.”

“You didn’t want this to happen?” Lexi asked in disbelief. “God, are you blind? Why did you even ask me out in the first place, if you were so set on not letting this happen? You didn’t have to. I was walking away. You could have and should have just left it at that. Just answer me that, since you can’t seem to answer anything else.”

“I hesitated. I wasn’t going to ask you out, but I thought that I could hold you back. That we could just be friends and maybe, you could even meet Danielle. Then we started hanging out, and I was in deep over my head. You were…are,” he corrected himself, “amazing. I didn’t want to stop what we had, and I never wanted to hurt you like this. But, by the time I realized I should tell you about Danielle, it was too late.”

“You’re right. It is too late. Good-bye, Jack.” She shoved him against the pantry door and marched toward the exit.

“Lexi,” he called, rushing after her. He latched on to her elbow and spun her around. “I told you, because I want us to still be friends. I didn’t want to hurt you.”

She struggled to yank her arm free, but he held on tight, not letting her loose. “Don’t feed me that. Let me go.”

He ignored her. “I’m not feeding you anything. The time isn’t right for us, but I don’t think that means there won’t be a time for us. Please, Lex.”

“You tell me you have a girlfriend. A serious girlfriend, of what, two or three years?” He nodded. “Then you tell me that the time isn’t right for us, but you think you might want to be with me in the future? How can you even ask that of me? How much more selfish and pigheaded can you possibly act?”

He winced. “I’m not asking for you to wait for me.”

“Good, because that’s never happening,” she said.

He forged onward. “I just mean, don’t give up on this. We haven’t even begun, and I don’t want us to be over.”

“You’re right. We haven’t begun, and we never will. Thank God, this was over before I let you fool me any longer, before I actually acquired feelings for you.”

He winced again. She said these things just to hurt him now, and it worked.

“Now, let. Me. Go.”

He finally released her.

“I really am sorry, Lex.”

“Save it,” she said. “Just do me one thing, Jack.”

She yanked open the front door.

“Anything,” he volunteered eagerly.

“Don’t you dare ever lie to me again,” she said as she slammed the door behind her.