The Beta's Cursed Mate

Roomates

“Hey, babe.” I looked behind the couch as he strolled right up to me and placed a kiss on my forehead. I smiled, craving that attention. I savored it still.

“Hi,” I pulled him closer for a kiss, not wanting to overdo it, before going back to flipping between the pages of a textbook that seemed like it should be harder than it was.

“How many classes do you have left?” I didn’t know why he asked, he knew my class schedule better than he knew his work schedule.

“One, the last one in a few hours, and then I’m done.” I slammed the book shut, leaning my head back on the couch. I couldn’t concentrate on it anymore, I was just trying to pass the time anyway.

“Cool.” I eyed his comfortable walk, the walk that I saw men, no boys compared to him, try to emulate when he walked past them through campus.

My heart clenched knowing that he was all mine, I was lucky to have him and whatever he saw in me, I wasn't sure.

He walked past me on the couch and to his office, the room that used to be my old roommate up until he moved in at the beginning of the semester.

When my roommate moved out for an internship across the country, he moved in. Almost immediately, it went from him staying over every night to bringing his stuff here, and maybe I asked him to or maybe it just felt right. Either way, he didn’t leave.

“Rodney?” I asked him and he paused. I took a curl in my finger and twirled it. It has become a nervous habit of mine recently.

“Hmm?”

“What’s your schedule like next week? Did you still want to try to go hiking?” His face darkened with something imperceptible.

“I can’t anymore, besides the weather is supposed to be s.hit. If you wanted to do something during your break, maybe you should have asked me before, when we actually had time to plan it, Bella. Not f.ucking a day beforehand.”

My stomach dropped, I’d been asking him every week for the past month and he told me that it was too far to plan and we should wait. Play it by ear were his words.

I bit my lip and fought back the trembling that jolted through me. I should be used to his mood swings by now but every time they got to me.

“I swear, I can’t keep up with you sometimes.” He shook his head and went to his office, closing the door behind him abruptly enough that it made me jump.

A pit settled into my stomach, the calm sadness that wrapped around me like a familiar blanket.

He was right. I should maybe have made a plan, I should have brought it up more often.

He has been working since he graduated in December. We met on campus last semester and since then we became almost inseparable. Much to the chagrin of my friends, I didn't really see anymore. I pushed away that thought yet again.

I didn’t really know his schedule, worked from home with a lot of conferences and it changed at the drop of a hat. It was hard to keep up with and I knew that the unpredictability exhausted him. He liked to know what was going on always, he liked to be in complete control.

I should try to be better for him, be more of a comfort and less of an added stress in his already busy schedule. I settled my gaze at the closed door, hoping he would come out and apologize, pulling me into a massive hug as he used to when he snapped, but he never came.

I shoved the textbook into my backpack and slung it over my shoulder, grabbing the keys from the table on my way toward the door. I might as well drive to campus early and study in the library, it was too cold to walk in the dead of winter.

“Where are you going?” I jumped. I didn’t even hear the office door open behind me.

“Campus, I have class remember?” I said a bit too harshly.

“Your class doesn’t start for another few hours.”

“I’m going to study.” I turned back towards the door.

“You can study here.” It wasn’t a suggestion.

I turned back to face him, “I just need some space, and I like working at the library.” I tried to explain

“You know I hate it when you leave when you’re angry," He raised a thick eyebrow and leaned against the doorframe, "It just makes things worse between us.” I didn’t know what to say.

He was right. I was angry and confused. Simmering in my anger at the library wouldn’t do either of us any good.

“I just need some fresh air.” It was true, he crossed his arms and rolled his eyes, clearly annoyed at my antics.

“Just sit down, stop being so d.amn dramatic all the time.” He was right again, I honestly didn’t want to leave, I much preferred studying from home.

“Fine.” I dropped the keys on the counter and sat back on the couch, pulling out my book again and idly flipping through it.

He studied me for a while, not moving from the doorframe of his office, his door closed behind him, before unfolding his arms and turning away from me.

I loosed a breath, I was hoping he would come to comfort me. But what did I need comfort for? I really was as dramatic as he said I was. I was never like this before.

My friends would call me easygoing. My mom said I was so relaxed. Words Rodney would never associate with me.

I can’t remember when I stopped being myself, it happened so quickly, and so slowly.

____________________

I stared at the angry gray clouds out the window of my last class. Thankfully, this one wasn’t hidden in a basement of an old building like many of my previous engineering electives had been.

You would think that engineers would have modern and up-to-date buildings, but a lot of our general classes were held in dark rooms that were well past their prime. I was so thankful to be passed that stage and moved to the parts of the building that actually had light and some semblance of modern architecture.

“Penny for your thoughts?” My classmate-turned-study buddy nudged my arm and pulled me from my musings.

I looked at Sam’s blue eyes and smiled genuinely. He tugged at his sandy brown hair and waited for my answer.

“Just happy to be done for a week at least.” It wasn't a lie.

“Then a few more weeks until complete and utter freedom.” He crossed his hands and leaned back in his chair.

Yeah, that. I hadn’t decided what I wanted to do after graduation. There were some incredible internships that I could do over the summer, but I wasn't sure if I was ready for them.

I had already applied to grad school, but again, I wasn’t sure if I wanted to take a break before jumping into classes again, especially as intense as the ones that I wanted to take. Something recently has been telling me not to take that next step. I'm sure this is something that a lot of soon-to-be graduates felt.

“You’re still thinking about applying for a job right away?” A small frown crossed his face and I tensed. I hope I wasn’t prying.

“I have a job proposal actually, but not exactly in the same field. I’m trying to figure out what I want to do, but I think I’ll take it for a while at least. A jobs a job right?” He shrugged, and I nodded, but I don’t think either of us agreed with what he said.

“Hear back from any of the grad schools ms. Hacker?” He asked. I shook my head, smiling at the nickname.

I wanted to become an ethical hacker, someone who hacked into security systems to find their failures and weaknesses before real hackers could exploit them.

“You know you are already brilliant, you can probably just skip grad school and go hack into the Pentagon.” I laughed.

“I wish that was the case,” I shrugged off his compliment.

I have been busting my a.ss since high school. I took a coding camp during my Sophomore year of high school and have been obsessed ever since. On top of classes, I’ve joined campus groups, taken additional classes specifically related to ethical hacking outside of school, and basically learned whatever I could from whomever I could. I had such a passion for it and I was excited to be able to have a career that I was so passionate about.

Something flickered inside of me as I realized I hadn’t been attending those groups as often as I used to. I missed a conference that I was invited to attend in Washington last semester and even skipped the annual hackathon that our college hosted.

“It is, you’re going places, Isabella.” I forced a smile on my face and turned back to the professor pretending to concentrate even though we were sitting so far away that it was easy to get distracted.

I made a mental note to sit closer for the last few months of class. I was slipping behind in some of them. Even though the topics were relatively easy for me to understand when I had them explained, they were a lot harder when I tried to learn them myself and took a lot more time than I had at the moment.

I rubbed my temples, exhaustion settling in.

Ten minutes left of class and my body was telling me to go home. I craved my space, my couch as if I was addicted to it. Those feelings were so much more intense when I knew I was about to start heading home, almost as if my couch was literally calling for me. I internally laughed at the thought.

A week on the couch to play catch up was exactly what I needed, even if Rodney wouldn’t be there with me.

“I forgot to ask, do you mind if I borrow your notes from last week? From the days I missed.”

“Sure,” He flashed a smile, “They’re at my house though. I started a new notebook, check out this bad boy.” He closed his notebook for me to see a shiny black cover.

“Very nice,” I laughed.

“Pick them up tonight?”

“Sure, thanks.”