When I walked into my house an hour later, the kitchen was empty and the bedroom light to my room was off. I saw nothing of my mom's that indicated that she was home and I don't know if I should be glad or sad.
I knew I needed to talk to someone about what happened at Tyson's. I don't know how to look at it. Was I raped because I didn't like it or gave consent, or was it not considered rape because it only lasted for twenty minutes?
Groaning, I walk over to the sliding door of the bathroom and push it open. The single shower light and the toilet next to it makes the bathroom cramped as I slowly take my clothes off and put my dirty clothing on the small sink. I then step into the shower and turn it on as the water splashes down my body, I grab my body wash and start scrubbing at my skin, hoping to get the feeling of Tyson's hands off my body.
~*~
Once I was done and out of the shower and change into my pajamas, I lay down on the bed I share with my mom and close my eyes. I try to sleep but the images of Tyson touching me and his lips trailing down my body are implanted into my mind like some stupid song by some annoying artist.
It was like Tyson ruined something inside of me again and this time the damaged couldn't be cured by weeks and days of healing.
I really needed friends. I don't care if it was some old guy off the internet or some little kid from the park, I just needed someone to talk to right now because the only person I can talk to isn't here.
Sighing, I roll onto my side and stare at the alarm clock on the nightstand and watch boringly as the numbers change every minute before sleep takes over.
~*~
"Aaliyah, darling if you don't get up now you'll be late for school." My mom's voice rings through the air as her soft hand brushes some of my hair out of my face.
I open my eyes, blinking rapidly as the sun hits my face. My mom stood in front of me smiling with her diner uniform on and points at the kitchen.
"I made your favorite, Nutella and waffles."
I instantly smile and stand up from the bed. I kiss my mother on the cheek and run to the table where a stack of waffles covered in Nutella sat in front of a push back chair. I grinned and shot my mom a smile before digging in.
"Mhm. This is an amazing mama. Thank you!" I say taking in another bite.
My mom laughs and takes the empty seat in front of me and starts eating her waffles. We sat in silence, the only sound was the music coming from the radio yet even that was quiet.
I watch my mom eating her waffles as she reads the old magazines that sat in a pile in the middle of the table, silently wondering how to tell her about what happened last night.
Should I say, 'oh by the way mom, Tyson invited me over to his yesterday and I thought we were only going to be doing our project, but instead we had sex.'
Nah, that doesn't seem right. Maybe I should be just straightforward about it. Like, 'hey mom, I think I was raped..'
My mom looks up from her food, her blond hair falling into her eyes as she does so. She raises her eyebrow at me and I bite my lip and look down at my half-eaten waffles.
"Is there something bothering you Aaliyah?" She asks taking a bite of her waffle.
I bit my lip, the metallic taste of the blood touches my tongue making my nose scrunch up.
"Mom, what exactly does it mean to be raped? Like what are the boundaries?"
My mom sets the newspaper down onto the table and looks at me with her eyebrow raised.
"Why do you ask?" She asks making me look down at my hands and start picking at the chipped nail polish, an old habit of mine.
"Nothing." I lie and look up at her and smile. "It was just a question. We're talking about self-defense in school and I was just asking."
My mom stares at me for a while before smiling and nodding her head.
"Alright. Well if you must know," she says shaking her head with a laugh. "It's just basically not giving the male or female the consent in s****l favor, resulting into you being helpless in a situation."
I nod my head and look at the paper with a frown. "How serious would the situation be in order for jail time?"
My mom shrugs her shoulders and takes a sip out of her coffee mug and puts it back down before finally answering me.
"It just depends on how serious you let it as a victim get." She says making me nod my head.
I don't say anything and look down at my waffles that were swimming in the syrup and frown at it. My mom moves her plate around be for releasing a sigh and pushes her plate directly in front of her and sets her arms folded on the table in a business manner.
"Aaliyah, I never have to worry about a rape situation and neither should you." She says making me nod my head and pick around my plate.
"I know it was just a question mama."
"Aaliyah, if I don't have to worry about you being raped neither should you. You're not ever going to be raped because I know that you're strong enough to push whatever happens in your life away. You're strong and you don't have to worry."
I bite my lip as my mom smiles and takes another bite of her waffles. I couldn't help but to think that her advice wasn't going to help at all because it already happened and I also couldn't help to think that I let my own mother down by not being strong enough by pushing Tyson off of me.