A KISS OF RAGE AND FIRE

TWENTY-EIGHT

KATHARINE ARATHORNE

Fliore

It's been two hours since they settled. Hindi niya alam kung saan nagpunta si Killian but he left another Shadow Demon in the room. Hindu niya ito nakikita but she's sure it was just lurking around.

Nakaupo siya sa kama habang pinagmamasdan ang mga bagay na binigay sa kanya noong kaarawan niya. Her birthday party was just days ago ngunit pakiramdam niya ay ang tagal na nito. She looked at the eggs nestled on a cushion made of warm blankets near the fireplace. The surface glinted with the fire and its scales look glossy dahil kakatapos lang niyang punasan iyon.

Napatingin naman siya sa mga bagay ba nasa kama niya. The dagger, the diadem, the dragon's breath, and the pin that Alastair gave.

Her heart skipped a beat nang tingnan niya ito. It was what he gave her on her birthday. At ang saya niya noong mga panahong iyon. Kinuha niya ito. Feeling the smooth texture of the hairpin on her hands. It was very pretty. At hindi niya mapigilang magalit sa sarili habang iniisip na tuwang-tuwa na siya sa bagay na iyon na bigay ng isang traydor.

Alastair must have been laughing on the inside habang tuwang-tuwa siya sa regalo nito. And she couldn't accept the fact that the man she ever loved except her father betrayed her. She clenched her fist on the hairpin and then she felt it. Cold and hot. She felt it all together in her hands and to the hairpin.

Ngunit nagulat na lamang siya nang biglang lumabas ang ulo ni Thorin mula sa sahig kaharap ng kama.

"I sensed a sudden rise of energy, my Lady," saad nito at tuluyan nang lumabas sa pinagtataguan.

She didn't realize she was crying kaya marahas na pinahid niya ang kanyang mga luha. Itinapon niya ang hairpin sa sahig just near Thorin's feet. Napatingin naman ito doon. He tilted his head and then looked at her.

"Burn that for me, please," she said. Thorin was silent and she sighed. Ano bang iniisip niya't pinapakiusapan niya ito? It was a Shadow Demon. They don't follow others except for Killian whom they swore their loyalty to.

Ngunit labis naman ang gulat niya nang pulutin ito ni Thorin at lumapit ito sa kanya. Nagtataka naman siyang napatingin dito.

Kinuha ni Thorin ang kamay niya and placed the hairpin on her hand.

"I sensed that this thing holds something in the Lady's heart."

"No—"

"The Lady should not destroy the things she value."

"You don't understand—"

"The Lady is angry. And angry makes bad decisions."

Napapikit siya nang mariin. What does he know? He never had someone to love. He's a Shadow Demon. He never had someone that betrays him.

"You're just a Shadow Demon. What do you know?" And her words came out before she could even stop herself. Natahimik naman ito at umatras bago ito naglaho pabalik sa kung saan man ito galing. And she felt even worse because of what she said.

"A Shadow Demon he may be but he also has emotions."

Her head whipped to the door where Killian stood. Hindi niya ito namalayang dumating na pala ito.

She closed her eyes firmly. Hindi niya sinadya ang nasabi niya kay Thorin. And she's mad that Killian didn't understand it.

"You don't understand. I lost my father. I lost my love. And how do you expect me to react?"

"I know you lost them but that doesn't mean you should lose yourself too. The Katharine I know would never hurt somebody else."

She scoffed. "Maybe that Katharine you knew is gone the moment Alastair's blade pierced through me. Or maybe you really didn't know me at all," she said and before she knew it, she was gone. All she was thinking about was to get out of there and to be somewhere where she could lash out and burn everything. It was a whirlpool of darkness and she couldn't see anything. Before she could even comprehend what was going on, she found herself in a barren field.

She just winnowed to somewhere without her realizing it. Nagpalinga-linga siya sa paligid and realized that she's on the outskirts of Fliore.

But she's still mad. For some reason, she felt like she needed to be mad. She's mad that she loved the wrong person. She's mad that her father was dead. She's mad that she was so, so spoiled that she didn't know what was going on inside her own Palace. She's mad that she was too blinded and naive. She's mad that Killian brought her back to life. She's mad about the powers she has that are not even hers. She's mad that Killian had to show her the presents and that hairpin that only reminded her of what had happened. She's mad that she said those things to Thorin. She's mad that Killian was right and that she just couldn't accept it.

She's mad at everything and she could feel the power building up inside her, readying to be let out.

She knew it would be dangerous but she couldn't stop herself. She wanted to let her power out, to free herself of the madness she's feeling.

She felt her power filling to the brim and ready to blast. And when she did blast, strong arms gripped her and hugged her tight. She screamed as she felt her power coming out of her. It was a whirlwind of light, dark, hot, cold, and something in between. Her magic exploded but the man was still hugging her tightly, not wanting to let go.

And when it was done, she felt so much better. She was panting and it was then that she realized it was Killian who hugged her.

"K...Kill?" she called but the man was still hugging her as if he's afraid to let go. Ngunit maya-maya pa ay bumigat ito and the next thing she knew, they both fell to the ground.

Killian is unconscious and it was because of her. She exploded and it could have done something to the city but Killian stopped it by having the damage directed towards him.

Maluha-luhang hinawakan niya ito. And then she closed her eyes and envisioned she wanted to get out of there and go back to their room just like what she did earlier before she winnowed to the outskirts.

And then she felt the gentle tug of dark powers in her body and she let it envelop her. She held Killian close and they dove into a whirlpool of darkness of nothingness.

And when she opened her eyes, nasa kwarto na nga sila but Killian's eyes remained close.

"Killian," she called but no response. Hindi niya alam ang nangyayari and she doesn't have any idea what to do. But just as when she was about to panic, saka naman nagising ang lalake.

"Kill!"

Napatingin ang lalake sa kanya and then to the surrounding before he let out a sigh. He then looked at her. "Are you okay?" tanong nito sa kanya.

And perhaps it was the relief that Killian was okay and that fact that she feels sorry that her tears burst out and she sat on the floor.

"Princess?" Killian called and when she looked at him, mas lalo lang siyang napaiyak.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I was just...I couldn't control it. I'm sorry, Kill," iyak niya habang nakatingin sa lalake. Napabuntong-hininga naman ito.

"I'm fine," saad nito. "Ikaw? Ayos ka lang ba? That was one hell of a magic burst."

"And you took all of it—"

She stopped talking when she saw a black bruise on his neck. Hinawakan niya iyon and Killiam winced.

"You're hurt," she said but Killian took her hand and placed it on her lap.

"It's fine. It's just a bruise. It will be gone after days."

"Let me heal you," she said and Killian looked at her as if considering her offer. Alam niyang hindi pa niya masyadong nakokontrol ang panibagong kapangyarihan niya but when it comes to healing, she knows she can do it.

"Please?" she said to Killian and the latter just sighed before he settled on the bed. Hinubad nito ang suot na damit leaving him topless. He's never really seen his body up close. At least, not that close. She could clearly see the scars on his body. Proof that he's had a fair share of experience when it comes to battles. Proof that he's done his job as the Captain of the Kingsguard.

But she placed her hand on his neck where he could see the nasty bruise that traversed down to his chest. It was because he took all the power that burst out of her. Because if he didn't, she could have ended up burning the whole village dahil sa aminin man niya o hindi, iyon ang nasa isip niya kanina dahil sa kanyang galit.

And she could have blown up that village if not for Killian. She has used up all of her energy to that burst earlier that's why she felt her knees trembling as she tried to heal Killian.

She closed her eyes and poured all of her remaining strength into healing his bruise. And when she succeasfully healed him, agad siyang napaupo sa kama.

Killian looked at his chest where the bruise was once were. Wala na ito. She healed him but it still didn't make her feel good.

"I'm sorry," she said. Tumayo naman si Killian saka nagsuot ng damit.

He looked at her before he said, "Nothing we can do about it now. It's done. What's more important is that there's not much damage—"

"But I hurt you."

"You didn't mean that."

"I was thinking of burning everything off because I was so mad and I don't know where to place my anger and I just—"

Killian held both her shoulders dahilan para matahimik siya. Hia dark blue eyes stared at her and she found herself completely drawn towards it.

"What happened earlier...let's just say it's something we should be thankful that happened."

She felt hot tears threatening to fall but she stopped them.

"You have powerful powers, Princess. And the stronger the emotion you feel, the stronger that power will be. The best you can do is to learn to control yourself."

Killian sighed. "You've been through a lot. Hell, you literally came back from the dead. It's been hard the past few days. I'm not asking you to stop grieving. I'm asking you to start learning to live with grief."

She took a deep breath to calm herself down. And Killian's right. She should learn to control herself, her emotions. Not just for herself but for others too. She hurt Killian at hindi niya hahayaang mangyari ulit iyon.

"How do I control it? How do I not burst when I am angry? I...I don't want to hurt you or other people for that matter just because I couldn't control myself."

"For a beginner at winnowing, you did quite a good job winnowing yourself out there and then back here. It takes a lot of concentration and you did it despite the crisis. I believe it would be easy to teach you how to control it."

"Then teach me," she said. "Teach me how to control it."

Killian let out a sigh before he said, "Close your eyes."

And she did. She closed her eyes and she could feel Killian's hand gripping tighter on her shoulders.

"Imagine a well. An empty one."

And she did. As she closed her eyes, a well appeared in front of her. Eerie. Empty.

She could hear Killian's voice in a distance. "Imagine letting your power out. Just like how you let your fire out. Grab the strands of your power your own and the others."

She did what she's told. She let them out. First is her fire, and then next are the others by grabbing strands of it hanggang sa maging bola ito. It floated in front of her and for some reason, she could also feel her gut-wrenching. She could see the ball of magic faltering and then she heard Killian's voice.

"Concentrate, Princess."

She stood straight and dealt with the pain in her gut. And the ball of magic was once again floating in front of her.

"Now, put that inside the well," Killian said. "Nice and slow."

Sinunod naman niya ang sinabi ng lalake and envisioned herself putting her powers inside a well. But then it didn't come easy dahil ayaw maipasok mg mga ito.

She tried again but then the well seems to have some invisible barrier stopping the ball of magic from entering.

"Concentrate. Own it. It's a power within you learn to own and control it."

And then she remembered that day when she tried owning the Dragon's Breath. She tried doing the same to the ball of magic.

I own you. She screamed in her mind. And the magic ball seemed to struggle but she touched it and grabbed its very core. She touched it gently. Soothing and calming.

I own you. She said in her mind.

And then she felt the power drop to the well.

* * *