Mommy knows best

Chapter 7

I awoke to the smell of bacon cooking. I rose and showered, then pulled on clean jeans and a clean check shirt. I paused on the stairs remembering what had transpired the night before. My head was clear now. I took a deep breath and went into the kitchen.

"Morning, honey." Mum came over and hugged me. "Sit yourself down. Your sandwiches will be a few minutes."

I hesitated for a split second then caught my mother's hand as she went to move back to the cooker. She looked down at my hand and then into my eyes.

"A moment," she said. She gently freed her hand, went across to the cooker and slid the pan out from under the grill. "Don't want to burn your bacon," she said. She came back to me and took my hand. "What's on your mind, baby?" she asked.

"You are, Mum," I said. My throat felt dry.

"Still?"

"Still."

"Not the wine?"

"Not the wine."

"Ah."

"Ah."

"What am I going to do with you?" she said, shaking her head.

"Well..." My heart hammered in my chest. "You could kiss me."

She stood on tiptoe and kissed my cheek. "Any time, my lovely prince," she smiled.

I slipped an arm around her waist and gently pulled her close. A finger of my other hand stroked her cheek. I bent and kissed the spot I had just touched, then I kissed her other cheek.

"I need to finish your bacon," she smiled pulling away. I held fast and she looked up at me., She didn't speak, but raised her eyebrows as if to say 'well?'

The I did the craziest thing I ever did in my life. I cupped her chin in my hand and raised it, then I kissed my mother full on the lips. Not a peck, not a mother/son kiss, but a kiss of sheer ,romantic adoration. It was tentative, but firm, and I held for some seconds before breaking and looking at my mum's face.

I was terrified. Would she be upset, angry, horrified?

Mum returned my gaze levelly. "I love you, honey," she said. "That was beautiful, but I am your mother."

"I know who you are," I said simply. "And I'm in love with you." I pulled her back towards me and kissed her again. She didn't resist, and I saw her close her eyes. She didn't put her arms around me, and she didn't actively return the kiss, but there was no tension.

"Baby..." she said quietly. "I'm your mum."

"I know who you are," I said again. And I kissed her again. This time her hands came to rest on my hips, and her lips parted slightly. She closed her eyes again. The kiss lasted maybe five or six seconds.

"Oh, Alex. We need to talk, honey." Mum took my hand and led me to the sofa in the sitting room. We sat and she took my hand in hers. "Baby, I can see what's happening here," she said. "Remember you said about how we weren't much of a family for hugging and kissing and all that? And when you saw the way some of your friends' families are it made you realise that you never showed me that you loved me?"

I nodded.

"Well, it's quite true that we've never been a terribly cuddly bunch. You know what I think? I think that you are used to physical expressions of affection pretty much only from girlfriends. I think you've come to associate hugging and kissing exclusively with that kind of relationship. With the way we've grown so close it's no wonder a little confusion has crept in." She looked into my eyes and smiled. "But there's no harm done. I love you and you love me. We can adjust. It's just a matter of clarifying the relationship. Firmly establishing it as a family one rather than a romantic one."

I shook my head. "I'm sorry, mum. I don't think I'm confused. I think I see things very clearly. I know you're my mum and I know we're family. You are a fantastic mum, and I love you as a fantastic mum. But I also love you as a beautiful, loving, kind, intelligent, amusing and attractive woman. Mum, you leave the other girls standing in a cloud of your dust. You are light years ahead of them in depth, in character and..." I almost chocked on the word. "In sexiness." I lifted her hands to my lips and kissed them. "I'm sorry to be a pain in the arse. I know it's complicated and I'm causing you big problems, but I am, without doubt, completely in love with you." Once again, my face was burning. My ears must have been positively glowing, but I had to say what I felt.

"Oh, baby... But what on earth did you think could come of it? We're mother and son. I was married to your father. I have seen you grow up before my very eyes. I was the one who held you and rocked you when you slept and I know who you are and what you are. You are the perfect child that I could have ever hoped for and I am lucky that I got the chance to be your mother but this is….what is happening here between us this is not right baby," said Angela.

"I know all that, and I have no idea what I thought could come of it. I hadn't thought ahead. I just... I don''t know. I guess I want things to be as they are with us being close and touching and cuddling and kissing. Especially kissing. Mum, I dream about kissing you, about kissing you properly."

"Oh, honey..."

Yet again, to my immense frustration I felt tears well in my eyes. "Mum, I love you so much."

Pure motherly instinct made my mum reach out her arms to me and I fell into them. She held me to her and stroked my hair, shushing me like a baby. I eventually got a grip and stopped crying, then I sat myself up.

"Jesus, I'm sorry, Mum."

"Nothing to be sorry for," she said. She gave me a push in the chest. "Back," she said. I obeyed and leant back into my cushion. Mum slapped my arm. "Lift," she ordered. I did so and she snugged into my armpit assuming her usual cuddle position. "Squeeze," she said, and I tightened the arm that was draped around her. "Hmm." She grunted her approval.

"Mum..."

"Just hold me for a while, baby," she said. "I'm thinking."

I held my mother. As usual I couldn't resist stroking and kissing that beautiful chestnut mane. Her warmth radiated into me and I knew I was in the best place in the world.

Eventually she roused herself, sat up and turned in her seat to face me. "Alex, you say you're happy with our relationship?"

"Very happy, Mum. I love you."

"I love you too, baby. Despite the way your feelings seem to have developed in an... unexpected way, you are happy to go on as we are?"

"Yes, but I just had to tell you. I had to let you know the truth."

"I know. And you said that you dream of kissing me?"

"Oh god, I do. All the time."

"If we were to kiss properly, but otherwise go on as we have been, would that help? I mean would it make you happy or would it make things worse - more difficult."

"I... think it would make everything perfect," I stammered.

"Well, shall we see then?" she asked.

There was no way I was going to hesitate and risk her changing her mind. I took her face in my hands and drew her towards me. Just before our lips touched I saw my mother close her eyes and I did the same. Once again I thrilled to the contact with her soft, warm, moist lips. Mum parted her lips a little and pressed them against mine. Her hand came up to the back of my neck and held me to her. Our lips moved gently against each other. Neither of us touched the other with tongues. After half a minute or so we parted.

"Wow, Mum," I said and held her tightly to me.

"Definitely," she said returning the embrace.

"Again," I said, and she laughed.

"In for a penny, I suppose..." We kissed again. There is a natural position that people seem to assume when kissing - a kind of standard snogging embrace. We gradually rearranged our arms until we fell into that time-honoured configuration.

I lost myself in the kiss. After a minute or so I found the tip of my tongue tracing the line of my mother's lips. As I realised I opened my eyes, briefly alarmed that I may have gone to far. I saw Mum's eyes flicker open. She paused for just the briefest of moments then closed her eyes again and relaxed in my arms. The sound she made was little more than a sigh, but it was unmistakably a happy sound. My tongue continued to explore the soft lips I was kissing, and we lasted a couple more minutes before coming up for air.

"Oh my goodness," my mother gasped. Then she laughed. Well, giggled is probably a more accurate word. She composed herself. "Well?" she asked. "Does it help?"

I tried to say "Hell yes, it helps," but my mouth just worked like that of a fish and no words came out. She laughed again. I gave up trying to speak and just pulled her to me and kissed her again.

"Whoah, greedy boy." She eventually pulled away. "We still haven't had breakfast!" Mum stood up. I followed her example. "Okay, she said. "Food." She turned towards the door to the kitchen.

"Wait." I caught her hand again and spun her around to face me. I caught her in my arms. "I am in love with you, Mum. I love you with all my heart.

"One more kiss. Just one more, then I promise I'll let you get away for a few minutes."

"Oh god. What kind of monster have we unleashed here?" she smiled. "One more kiss. And don't get too used to it: you won't be able to keep grabbing me for a snog when your sister is around. And you are also going to go away for college very soon son. What about this old woman then?"

"Okay, mum. This time though, please would you touch my lips with your tongue?"

She looked up at me. The tongue thing did slightly change the nature of the kiss and I could see her questioning the wisdom, but eventually she nodded and lifted her face to mine.

The kiss just grew. The moment our tongues touched it became a 100% investment of emotion from us both. The difference in our height was awkward. Without breaking the kiss I lifted my mother up and carried her to the sofa. I sat down and positioned her so she was sitting in my lap, then I melted back into heaven.

But that did not last long for me at all. I soon packed up and went to college just like my sister had a year ago. Mom was left all alone to live her own life without us. It was a difficult time for the both of us but she told me that change was a part of our lives and we all needed to accept that as a fact.