Confessions of a Modern U’Makoti(BWWM)

Confession #9

Confession #9

It was a drawled out dark night.

It all happened so fast. One moment Aaron was on top of me and the next he’s carring Kea bridal style into his car rushing us to the closest hospital. The smell of blood would stain his leather seats. While I was filling in stupid hospital admin, Aaron rushed her to the emergency unit. Kea gave me one fleeing look as she sobbed and screamed in hysterics, giving me one last request before the doctors rushed her to surgery.

“Call Sam!” She called still clenching her stomach as the blood dripped onto the floor.

And then we waited.

Aaron washed off the blood in a nearby bathroom. We sat wordlessly. Do I call her parents? Other than Sam who else could I call? He cleared his throat.

“I called Sam.”

“Thanks.” My mind still racing. His hand clasping onto mine didn’t help. We sat wordlessly.

And we waited.

Samuel rushed through the doors. Panic, played a taunting play across his face. Aaron had updated him on the situation. Once calm Samuel sat frazzled – rocking back and forth in his chair. His knuckles clenching the armrest, turning alabaster.

We waited.

Amongst the white noise, I felt helpless. I couldn’t protect her. She’s seemed fine before she went to bed. Healthy. With Aaron’s head resting on my lap as he slept soundlessly , I watched waiting hopeful for a doctor to approach me with an update. Every five minutes Samuel would approach a nurse - who had accompanied Kea into the ER- asking for updates on her, calling her his fiancée.

I didn’t have the strength to question his words. I felt serene with Aaron close by. I played with his baby hairs at the nape of his neck. She’ll get through this, it’s going to be alright. His words resonated as I watched the chaotic happenings of the hospital.

Waited.

“I’m gonna go get some coffee, you want some?” Aaron finally woke up.

I gave him a sad smile, the idea of eating or drinking, put me off. “No, I’m good. Go check on Sam, I’ve been trying to calm him down for the last hour. “

He gave an unequal smile; half sad, half hopeful. Pecking my temple before ushering his friend towards the hospital café. She’s okay. But as Dr Kekana approached me, I was thinking otherwise. He had a solemn face and his scrubs had a blood splatter on it, reducing my confidence.

“Ms Lestie.” The doctor had a long set of dreadlock tied into a ponytail with a dark complexion. He had bags under his brown eyes and wore a solemn expression.

“How is she?” I quickly whipped away a lone tear.

“She’s stable. We managed to stop the bleeding but,” He paused momentarily and his eyes caught with Samuel’s and Aaron.

“How is she?” Samuel asked in desperation while Aaron remained silent.

The doctor looked surprised by Samuel’s outburst but quickly collected himself. “As I was explaining to Ms Letsie. She’s stable, the bleeding has stopped. She had Cervical Insufficiency. Her cervix opened prematurely resulting in the fatality of the infant. “

We all remained silent before Samuel spoke again in haste, his eyes watering.

“When can I see her?”

“Well, she’s still under. It will last about an hour or so. Within the hour she would have moved from the recovery ward into her own room. Seeing as you are her only visitors, I’ll make the exception of allowing you all into her room once she’s out of the ward.” His clinical tone unnerved me.

“Thank you doctor.” I muttered while Aaron comforted Samuel.

“I’ll be sure to keep you updated.” He reassured before leaving us.

The baby’s dead.

I remember hearing Kea sob throughout the car ride approaching the hospital to save her baby. To make sure the baby was alright. To take care of the infant. And we didn’t, I had no idea how she was gonna take the news. She’s loved the child as though she’s already held it in her hands and sung it sweet lullabies.

“Thati we’ve been here for hours, you sure you don’t want to eat?” Aaron knelt in front of me. The look of concern on his face made my heart warm. I offered a sad smile which he didn’t return.

“No, I’m okay. “ He sighed in defeat as he sat next to me, Samuel was finally calm. “Did you know they were a thing?” I asked Aaron.

He shifted uncomfortably in his seat, thinking careful about his words. “I-“

“Ms. Lestie?” A plump nurse asked gingerly. Her skin was pale and her hair dyed burgundy.

“Yes?” I turned my attention towards her.

“Ms. Lestie has been placed in a room. Room B28.”

“Thank you.” I gave a small smile.

Samuel was the first to barge into the room. He rushed to Kea, who had just woken up. As Aaron and I entered the pair stood in a tight embrace; Kea sobbing into Samuel’s chest. Disordered by the scene in front of me. She’s engaged to Samuel?

When the pair finally separated, Kea gave me a guilty look. And although I was sympathetic I needed answers, but that wasn’t the right time was it? Nope.

Kea stayed under observation for a week. She didn’t eat unless Samuel helped her. She didn’t move unless Samuel was cuddling with her on the bed. She wouldn’t talk, not even to Samuel. I knew that hurt him the most. And on the final day she began to meekly speak. She’d announced her moving into Samuel’s apartment.

Bear in mind, only the four of us knew about Kea’s misfortunes. Only the four of us saw her grieve and then after five days of grieving she’d made me buy her all black clothing. As the two were packing up Kea’s belongings and I sat there helplessly, I decided it was time I got some answers.

“What the hell is going on here?” I didn’t mean for my words to come out as harshly as they did but my confusion was rearing its second head and everyone remained silent. I slowly approached Kea, her eyes red and puffy and her lower lip trembling. I held onto her hand giving her a reassuring smile. “I can’t help you anymore if you don’t tell me what’s going on? Look at you, you’re in a hospital without your family. I should have called your parents shouldn’t I?”

“No,” She immediately responded, panic stricken.

“What’s going on her Dolly? Let me help you.” I pleaded softly, softening her defences.

She remained silent before Samuel grasped her hand reassuringly. She nodded in agreement and then said.

“Thato and I never had the best relationship. He did in fact cheat. He wouldn’t hit me all the time but when he did,” She paused momentarily.” A year ago, I went to the gallery. I met Sam. “ She gave him a hopeful smile.” I want to lie to you and say it felt wrong, but it didn’t. So I told him everything and we still went on to have the affair. I don’t regret a single moment.” She wiped a lone tear down her cheek. “And then I got pregnant. It was Sam’s baby. And Thato found out, he told my parents and… And I’m not a Lestie anymore.” Her eyes dulled as she shrugged indifferently. “ It was a s**t family anyway. He got drunk and angry one night. I panicked and got on the first bus to Joburg, I got a car that looked identical to the one at home, I got a new phone. That’s why you can never get a hold of me. You wouldn’t have to lie if anyone asked you were I was, but it looks like no one even remembers I existed. So I stayed with you. Thato, doesn’t know where you live. I can’t go back home. And there is never a stupid wedding. “ She rolled her eyes.

It was hard processing all this information. I turned to Aaron who was considerably quiet throughout this entire ordeal. “You knew?”

He cleared his throat. “I found out a few days ago.”

“So you guys are engaged?” I gawked at the two.

“No, the engagement to Thato was for show.” Samuel explained.

“Why was it so hard to tell me all of this?” My eyebrows rose.

“Because you’re my sister and if you’d abandoned me because I wasn’t being the princess that you know and love, I don’t know how I would have gotten through this.” She spoke softly.

“I’ll always be here for you.” I reassured.

With all the lovey-dovey stuff behind us, Kea and Sam left. Aaron suggested I spend the night at his place but I wasn’t in the mood. He seemed worried when I’d declined but wouldn’t address it. We still haven’t talked about my father’s little promise.

In the days to follow I tried not to focus on my father. I focused on Kea and occasionally Aaron. He noticed the shift in our relationship but I’d always differed the subject when he brought it up. Yes, I felt like the worst person on the planet but Kea was hurting… That excuse seemed as overused as a middle aged man’s taupe.

“So I have to tell you something.” Kea spoke with a warm smile. She’s brighten up since moving in with Sam. Her smiles weren’t fake which put me at ease.

“Yeah?” I sipped on my ice tea, we’d decided to have lunch at Ryan’s bistro.

“Sam and I are going out the country!” She squeaked excitedly. I paused momentarily.

“When are you guys leaving?” I spoke dumbfounded.

“We’re leaving tonight.” She grew more and more excited with each answer.

“Kea? Are you sure you –“

“I can’t grieve forever. I still hurt, you know. When no one’s around I cry. I cry so much it aches,” She spoke with genuine sadness in her eyes. “But I still want to see the world and Sam wants to show it to me. And I’m going to let him. When he’s not around I’ll cry, but when he is…” Her words trailed off as she flashed a girlish smile.

“I get it.” I sighed.” So where are you guys headed?” I stirred the melting ice in my glass.

“First Morocco then Germany, Singapore, Mexico and then we head to Argentina and fly back home.” She smiled. I must admit this was the most I’ve seen her smile and I’ve visited her everyday for the past few weeks.

“How long do you guys plan on being away? And who paid for this trip?” I could feel my eyebrows graze my hairline still very confused.

“Just for five weeks. And we both paid for the trip, I sold all my designer clothes and bags online and Sam sold most of his collection at the gallery. We’re back packing, it’s such an adventure.” She held onto my hand. “We both need this.”

“I get it. Just be careful, you don’t want to be that couple that went overseas and is found dead in their hotel room.” I joked, she chuckled lightly.

“We will be.” She glanced at her phone. “How are you and Aaron?” She asked through her eyelashes.

I sighed. “I’ve been avoiding him.”

It was her turn for her eyebrows to furrow. “Why? Does he hurt-“

“No nothing like that. He’s amazing.” I sighed. “I mean, I miss him.” I rolled my eyes at my sappy words. “ I just… Papa wants me to be with someone else. He threated Aaron and if we don’t break up… I’m afraid he’ll do something to Aaron.” I took a sip of my drink. “Avoiding Aaron seemed logical at this point right?”

She tilted her head to the side, her lips pressed together as her eyebrows knitted. “You need to talk to Aaron.”

“And say what?” I challenged but she only remained silent taking a nibble of her carrot cake. “That’s what I thought. I love my dad but I can’t go through another Tumi.” I bit my lower lip.

“Thati, you need to talk to Aaron. Tell him about everything. I mean, I’m so much happier without my parents and their expectations for my life. Sure, my baby’s dead but I’m happy. You avoid relationships because you know this might happen but you need to stop. You need to be happy not just someone’s one night stand.”

How old is she? When did she get so wise?

“Fine, I’ll talk to him.” I agreed stupidly.

She beamed. “Great! Now I gotta go pack. Sam wants us at the airport as early as humanly possible, “ I chuckled, as she rolled her eyes. “But I love him. And I love you. I’ll see you when I get back okay?” She engulfed me in an airtight grip.

“Okay okay. I love you! Bye.” I pecked her cheek as she mimicked my actions before leaving me with the bill. Smart broke b***h.

I did the mature thing afterwards. I’d invited Aaron over. We’d watch a movie and talk. See where our relationship goes from there. It shouldn’t be too hard should it?

Wrong.

Aaron walked in with pizza and kissed me as though we hadn’t seen each other in months. My emotions and hormones ceased all confidence I had in my plan. I unapologetically ate more pizza slices, it wasn’t my fault the pizza place doesn’t know how to cut slices evenly. I’d straddled Aaron’s lap as we wrestled for the last slice and soon I was trapped as his arm encircled my waist.

“You’ve been avoiding me haven’t you?” Aaron smiled after he’d triumphantly stolen the last slice.

I had two choices here… Tell the truth or lie.

“No, of course not babe. I’ve been checking up on Kea.” I lied.

His rose eyebrows unimpressed. “Tiger, don’t lie to me.”

I could have come clean then but, “I’m not lying. Okay, I just thought since the last time you were here it, a baby died. Maybe you didn’t want to see me? Like one minutes my panties are wet and next Kea’s covered in blood. I mean stuff like that doesn’t normally happen. We almost had s*x and an unborn foetus died. Next thing you know, we have s*x and someone dies. “ I shrugged my shoulders.

Aaron laughed. He laughed so hard his face turned bright red and his eyes were tearing up. When he’d finally creased he cupped my cheeks.

“If anyone dies while we’re having s*x, it’ll probably be me,” He smiled before impersonating an African American accent, “Yo pụssy game too strong mami.”

I laughed. Aaron spoke again, once my laughter had died down. “Why don’t we go out of town this weekend?”

“And go where? “ I laughed thinking he was joking but in fact Mr Aaron Grey was serious. “Go where Aaron?” I asked more serious.

He tilted his hips upwards, nudging his hardened member against the apex of my thighs. I muffed a moan by biting my lower lip as he grinned mischievously.

“Well, we’ll stay at a little BnB one night, then we’ll spend two nights at my family’s vineyard. My parents will be out of town for a few days. So you don’t have to meet them even though they’d love you.” He gently pecked my lips. “You and me, alone in cottage, with a lot of alcohol. All weekend. How does that sound?” He nipped at my lower lip as his hands drew across the length of my thighs.

“You’re not really giving me much of a choice, are you?” I rolled my eyes. This could backfire. “Sounds like a plan.” I grinned.

Aaron stayed over the night. We’d agreed to leave the next day after work but when I woke up to the sound of an irritating knock rattling against my door. There stood a man in a tailored suit; Lesego.

“Morning Nthatile.” He smiled. “Your dad thought I’d deliver this.”

A white German engineered car stood sparkling in my drive way with a huge red bow on top of it, my annoyance heighten. Lesego handed me a note.

Naledinyana,

I know you’re angry. I promised a car for your broken heart. Here it is.

Answer my calls.

Love Papa.

This had gone on too far. Kea was right. I needed to talk to Aaron and before I could slam the door in Lesego’s face I felt two arms wrap possessively around my waist. Aaron pecked my neck.

“Tiger babe, why is a BMW parked in front of your house?” I could the laughter in his words as his sexy sleepy voice made me shiver. I cleared my throat.

“Aaron this is Lesego. He works with my dad. My dad got me a car.” I kissed my teeth as I shook my head in disbelief.

“Nice to meet you, boet.” Aaron stretched out of his arms but Lesego looked at it a though it were a third limb.

“You know what? I think I should go. Your keys are in the car. I’ll be sure to tell your father you got the car. Enjoy your day.” He’d quickly speed off towards his car park on the opposite side of the road.

His words didn’t sit well with me. He was going to tell my dad.

“Should I be worried about that guy?” Aaron asked suspiciously.

I turned in his arms, offering a sweet smile, “Of course not. You’re a ten, he’s a two.” I kissed his chin but his eyes still seemed trained to something behind me. “I should go pack. We’re leaving straight after work right?”

“Yeah, I’ll pick you up later.” His eyes finally snapped back to me. They were icy but he still forced a smile.