Heart Of A Lycan Prince

10.

MAVERICK.

“So… What did you do?” Khalil asked, resuming his push ups. Sweat glistened and rolled down his thick hard muscles. On the surface, he looks like a dangerous predator ready to rip one’s neck off. But on the inside, he was as soft as a teddy bear. The complete opposite to this dangerous dragon.

“What was I supposed to do? I left.” I grumbled, rubbing my tired eyes.

I had left Sherneil two hours ago and it was still early morning. While I'm exhausted, I still couldn't actually sleep. The same way I couldn't sleep last night, all I could think of, all I could feel, was her and her scent enveloping me. It was a complete disaster.

I left her apartment as early as I could and booked a hotel room because I wasn't ready to face my brother and his wife just yet. I needed to get myself together before I faced them, or else they will shower me with questions. Questions that I don’t have the answers to at this time.

The thought that she had been able to push me into coming back to this kingdom after two years without even trying gnaws at me. I had vowed to only return when I had found out what I could about my birth mother. And yet, here I was. Scared I was being ignored by my mate. Scared that something had happened.

“Like you literally just left without doing anything? Making a move? Get to know her more? Anything?” Tabitha asked, raising one of her brows in a mock gesture.

This was one of those moments that I hated this particular power of mine. The one that allows me to talk to my blood sworn members as though we were having a video call. While they can’t see me and could only hear what I say through their minds, I could see them. Every single move they make. Every gesture. It is like the live images of what they are doing projected into my head.

While I disliked it at some points, it was still my favorite from all the power I possess. Times like this are crucial. Because this way, I could get live feedback on what is going on even if I’m not in the same place with them. Times like this.

We aren’t together but I know the exact expression plastered on each of their faces.

“You’re such a d**k,” Abeel rolled his eyes, hiding more in the bushes behind the castle that they were spying on. “You just left us in a hurry at the border, growling and swearing that you were going to go get your mate. And now what? You slept on the sofa without having the guts to own up to your mistakes? And after the way you treated her, seriously?!”

“Yeah. He’s a total d**k,” Khalil groaned, still continuing his exercise.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes for the upteenth time as I dropped my head on the table before me. Don’t they get it? I’ve already messed up and I need to take things slow. I need to be sure I’m not signing myself up for another damaged heart. That and the fact that I needed to find ways to make her hate me less.

“She hates my guts,” I finally voiced what had been gnawing at my mind. “She looked at me like I am the most disgusting being she’s ever seen. How was I supposed to make a move in that situation?” I asked, lifting my head back up.

Silence descended after my confession.

I knew it wasn’t something they thought I’d share. Hell, even I didn’t know I was going to say that. But the pain was just… too much. It was ripping at my insides, dragging away the bits of myself that I had tucked inside, hidden away. It was self damaging, I knew that. So much so that I felt Amadi stir uncomfortably before returning to his corner.

This was the fourth time he had reacted since we met her Friday night. I’m not exactly sure if that is a good thing or not. Nor was I sure of the reaction that the team had. Blank faces and simply staring into space.

“Can you guys say some…”

“Someone is coming,” Tabby whispered, ducking down behind the bush even more.

I settled more into the chair, focusing on looking around the damp dark forest behind the elder witch castle. If I had gone with them, she'd have agreed to see us, but Asabe will never see those two alone. Not even when they offer her a year from their ages, which was her favorite thing to take away.

The rustling continued, but nothing happened. And the door to the castle remained closed. But I saw it, as fast as it approached, I saw it, the rolling ball of darkness coming directly towards my friends. I found myself yelling at the top of my voice.

“Get the f**k out of there!” I screamed, frantically reaching through the connection to pull them away.

Fortunately, both Tabby and Abeel were fast, and in mere seconds, they left the vicinity, thick black smoke filling the sky a moment later.

“s**t!” Tabby cursed, her eyes wide and frantic. “That was so close. Too close.”

I gulped. That certainly was very close. Closer than the attacks had ever been before.

“Get back to the cottage and wait until I get there. I should be there in a week. Use that time to search and find out what you can. While that may have been from Asabe’s castle, it doesn't look like something she can pull off alone. Do not do anything more until I get there. Just gather as much information as you can without drawing attention to yourselves.

Tabby nodded, still dazed, while Abeel ducked down a little to remove the leaves from his boots. “We’ll stay safe. Do what you can down there. Just don't leave without at least apologizing for making her believe that you are truly an escort.”

I nodded, already deciding that was what I'd be doing. Staying back to woo my mate. After her text had come in, the one where she mentioned that she sat close to another man whom she liked, I couldn't see or think straight anymore. And so, I did the only rational thing I knew of at the moment. I booked a flight and flew down to her.

All I wanted to see was her, especially when I found out exactly who the man she sat close to was.

“I'll fly in today. Two heads are always better than one,” Khalil said, wiping the sweat off his face with a small towel. He was breathing heavily, possibly from the exercise and the rush of adrenaline from the tone he heard in my voice when I was screaming at Tabby and Abeel to move away.

“Don't worry, they are okay,” I assured him. “It was just closer than the attacks normally are.”

He nodded, dropping the towel and stalking towards another door. “Cut it off. I'm going to shower and get ready to come to you.”

I did as he said and cut off the thread of connection between us. “We’ll go rest too. If anything comes up, don't hesitate to reach out. We will do the same, as well.”

I simply nodded, ending all connections with them.

Damn the perks of being a royal lycan were quite badass!

But a rogue Lycan is basically useless, a voice in my head reminded me. I was nothing but a shame to the kingdom. A failure to the woman who had treated me like her son. A failure to the one brother I have.

Because I am nothing but a bastard desperately looking for love where it is not given.

I sighed, rubbing my eyes again before I leaning my head against the back of the sofa. Despite being the first child in the kingdom, which should have ultimately made me the king and not my brother, Aiden. I wasn't. Hell, I never wanted to be the heir, nor did I want to be the king. All I ever wanted was for Baba to look at me with the same love and adoration with which he looks at Aiden. To treat me like a son, the son that I am. Like I was his to want.

But that has never happened. Baba doesn't want a bastard. And my mother, whoever she is, wherever she is, thought the best thing she could do for me was abandon me where I wasn't wanted and leave.

It is why I'm trying my hardest to find her, my birth mother. Because I needed to know. I need to find out why she didn’t want me. Why would she just abandon me?

That fear of being abandoned again, or rejected was one of the reasons that I couldn't do this. It was the reason that I couldn't commit to my mate. But after Friday night, I wasn't so sure anymore.

I pulled my phone out, desperate for a distraction. But while scrolling through my contacts, my finger's unceremoniously stopped at Baba’s name. And for some very odd reason, it felt as though I was being yanked back to the scene Baba pronounced me a rogue.

***

I swallowed hard as I stared at Baba's looming figure over me. He always does this. Makes me feel like the loser I have always been. Like the freaking unwanted b.astard he constantly reminded me that I am. I was kneeling before him, the moon shining above us. The pounding in my head was too much, so much so that I didn't want to keep my eyes open for too long. It's been hours since Baba had rescued us from the Fiko forest.

I still smelled of the nasty plants thrown at Aiden, my hands still had the black blood I watched him gurgle out after the attack. And my clothes stuck to my body from the sweat and blood as well. But that didn't matter. Nothing mattered except for the fact that my brother was in there fighting for his life...while I...I was here...well, dealing with the consequences of my actions.

"You shouldn't be here! If anything, you shouldn't even bear my name. A b.astard son is not one a king is proud of and certainly not from a mother like yours!" he thundered. "You should be the one injured! The one fighting for his life, not my son!"

His words pierced through my chest, cutting through the rigidity I had thought to have placed on my heart whenever he lashed out. Today, more than ever, his words hurt the most. He had called Aiden his son and didn't ever address me as that. As though he wasn't the one that fathered both of us. But why does it matter now? It's not like he had ever treated me like a son.

My wolf stirred, just a bit before the connection cut off.

"Baba..."

"Don't Baba me!" he yelled, pointing at me. We were outside, behind the courtyard, where he was sure Mama wouldn't hear us, at least, not with Aiden laying in there fighting for this life. "If you have any consciousness left in you, you'd leave this kingdom and never return!"

I looked up at him, eyes wide as I stared straight into his dark angry gaze. Certainly, he does not mean that, right? "But I can't leave," I tried to argue. "Aiden is sick and..."

"And whose fault was that? How do you plan on helping him? By hurting him more till you kill him so you can take the throne?"

"I would never do that..."

"Of course you will! I see how you act around the council, how you laugh and joke with everyone. I know what you're trying to do, Maverick, and I won't sit back and watch you do that!"

I ducked my head again, fighting to get my throat to work again. But it seemed like it was clogged, no matter how hard I tried, words were coming out. There was a loud buzzing in my ears and a heavy feeling settled on my chest.

"Maverick, if you so much as have any respect left for the woman who took you in and cared for you like her own, if you have any shame left, and if you are certain you don't want the throne, I want you to leave the Kingdom and never, I repeat, NEVER EVER RETURN!"

I sucked in a shaky breath. I never understood why Baba hated me this much. Surely, it wouldn't be because my Mama wasn't his mate as he always likes to say, right? Because it makes no sense. That shouldn't be the reason I get this much hatred from my supposed father!

"Do I make myself clear?" I heard him ask. His voice shook, and so did the earth. Baba just used his Alpha King voice on me, and regardless of how much I wanted to fight it, how much I wanted to say no, I couldn't. Despite my gifts, I would never be able to fight off his command.

"Baba..."

"I, King Amari Kabir Dakarai, banish you, Maverick, from this kingdom and my family. You have no ties with me or any member of my family anymore!" he commanded, and I felt as the strings that tied me to the Kingdom snap. The same way that my wolf felt it.

I was...a lonely Lycan rogue.

"While you are at it, make sure no one finds out about this. If you value your life and that of your brother, you'll leave as though you wanted to. In a way, they'll hate you for hurting them."

The sob I had been trying so hard to hold back escaped and I nearly choked on my spit. That's it!

"Pathetic as always! A real man never cries, nor does he show his weakness to his opponent. A real man hides his tears, no, he never lets them fall." And with that, he turned around and began walking away.

Somehow, I gathered as much courage as I could and called after him.

"Why do you hate me so much? Why despise your own blood, Baba? Surely, it's not entirely about my mother not being your mate, right?"

Baba paused in his tracks. I watched as his hands that he had clasped behind his back tightened before he turned to face me. His face bloodshot, and the corners of his mouth pulled taut.

"You have no idea, Maverick. Just leave."

I knew better than to ask more. But that confirmed my suspicion. There must be another reason Baba despises me this much. But it's too late to find out.

I stood up, with the tears still rolling, pat the dirt off my trousers, looked up at the house one last time, recalling all the childhood memories Aiden and I had shared before I turned and walked away.

He wants me to leave. Wants Mama and Aiden to hate me. He wants me to live in pain forever.

And that was what I did.

I embraced the pain and agony, and let it shape the life I carried.

After all, a teenager like me deserves no happiness. I soon realized that I was numb to the pain and sadness I had once left.

A b.astard with no emotions. That. Is. Who. I. Am!