The Golden Goddess

The Golden Goddess

Aurelia

The raucous laughter of merry pack members and the live musicians' vocals in the background caused my lips to curve up into a subtle smile. Warmth spread through me like the soothing caress of a winter’s fire as it always did whenever I was able to seize the rare opportunity to break free from the shackles of my life. These were the sounds I welcomed the most. The village tavern of the Heroux pack had always been my most cherished escape from the deafening silence of my gilded cage; the luxury and elegance that was the royal palace. Its dark wooden walls and antique blown glass chandeliers, that floated from the beamed ceiling like lotus flowers, were far cosier than the palace’s pristine crystal decor.

My golden eyes studied the group of wolves on the next table with intrigue. I never came here to join their rollicking celebrations, gambling or rambunctiousness. I came to observe. To try to understand my people better. Growing up inside the palace walls and never being allowed to be seen, spoken to or touched by anyone that was not within the trusted circle of my father’s congress had only manifested a deep burning curiosity in me. They thought they were protecting me by keeping me locked away, but really, they were killing me. Slowly. The most excruciating death as I screamed on the inside, but no one could hear my pain. No one could help. Only this. A few hours of normality where I could pretend I was one of them. A wolf. A member of our pack that truly belonged.

I lowered my head, masking my face under the blackness of my fabric hood, as Oletta (the tavern’s owner) glided through the tables towards me. It was highly unlikely that anyone would recognise me, seeing as my bright hair was hidden and the only glimpse these people had ever had of my face was during royal ceremonies or celebrations where I would be painted gold from head to toe and shrined in intrinsic jewellery, dresses and often a veil. A trophy to be paraded. Yet, I still couldn’t risk it.

“It’s about to ramp up in here, witchy. You may want to flee before they lose their senses. Full moon tonight,” she warned, her tone strong yet warm. I nodded my head, keeping my face low as she strolled back towards the bar. Of course, everyone in here would think I am a forest witch passing through. They always did. Mainly because they could sense I had no wolf and was wearing the moon phase symbols embroidered into the black, velvet cloak that branded me one. Witches or seers were the only other species in this realm that were tolerated enough to enter our lands. They weren’t trusted, but they were tolerated. Until a full moon.

But I was no witch. I lifted my head slightly again to watch with fascination as three she-wolves entered the tavern and headed straight for the laps of their male mates. I swallowed down my fascination and envy as the men’s hands roamed and caressed the skin of their mates' thighs, nuzzling their heads into their necks as the women giggled deliciously at their doting. That was another thing that reminded me that I would never truly belong. I was destined to never experience that. A life of solitude was all I would know. No mate to call my own. To never feel the passion and intensity that my parents had or these wolves in front of me. To never know true love. I tried to trick myself into believing I wouldn’t be missing much, but that never lasted long. If I had a friend right now, I am sure they would tell me to snap out of my pity party. Isn’t that what friends are for? Yet, I have never had one of those either.

Allowing myself to share in their unparalleled love and joy for just a few seconds, I awakened my power to feel their auras. The emotions that bounced off them and into my soul sent a shiver of pleasurable desire and a glow of happiness to swarm through my veins. It was like swimming in the sunshine. Euphoria. But as always, it wasn’t long before a darker aura pulled my attention instead. My eyes scanned the dimly lit room in search of its prisoner. They settled on an older pack member who was sitting opposite another, playing a game of Scrims. His exhausted eyes held panic and apprehension as his large boot tapped anxiously on the wooden floor. Scrims was an addictive gambling game that my father had his own obsession with. The small metal figures of wolves had advanced across the tattered board towards the fortress. The elderly man was about to lose his defences. And by the inconsolable panic rippling from him in waves, he had gambled more than he could afford.

“Wait!” He held up his hand to his opponent to try and buy himself more time as his brown eyes scanned the board in desperation. “I- I- I can’t lose, Ceron. I need this. I have children to feed and I have just taken in my brother’s family because he was lost to The Cursed. Please—”

“Save your sob story for someone who gives a sh*t, Terrin. You wanted to play. Now play,” the other wolf sneered maliciously. I shimmied out of the dark corner, not wanting to draw unnecessary attention to myself, and made my way towards their table. As I reached it, I saw the only move Terrin had left to win back control of this game. Focusing on his mind, I foreshadowed the strategic move as I brushed my hand over his back subtly, making contact as I walked past his chair. When I reached the door of the tavern, I glanced over my shoulder to see the beaming smile on the old wolf’s face as he took out the first line of his opponent's army and Ceron glared down at the board in utter confusion. I smiled. It was the least I could do to lessen the burden on this man’s misfortune. The rampaging war against the Shadows of the Cursed and the victims that befell it always caused my chest to tighten and my stomach to tie in knots. For some reason, I felt I was to blame, yet I had no idea why. But that feeling was only intensifying the closer they came to our walls.

With the flimsy hood cast lower over my face, I wrapped the cloak around my body tightly against the chilly breeze of the night. I used the back passages of the village to make my way to the tunnels under the palace that were meant for an easy escape if we were ever attacked. Two guards stood solidly in the stone archway as I hid behind a thick tree trunk. I was just about to prepare a distraction to force them to leave their posts when the pack’s distress alarm blared across the land. The two warriors stared at each other with unease before dashing forwards into the village to take up their attacking positions. My heart rocketed as I felt torn between re-entering the protective walls of my palace or running back to the village to see what was happening. This was the first time the alarms had signalled while I had been outside the palace walls. But if I didn’t go back inside, it would be a matter of minutes before my father would know I was missing and all hell would break loose. Maybe that is what the alarms are sounding for! They realised I was not in my room!

Racing through the dark tunnels and up the hidden spiral stone steps inside the thick walls, I crawled through the narrow hole that I kept hidden with an old Heroux banner that sat collecting dust. Flattening myself against the dusty stones to stop my nose from touching the wooden-beamed structure of the interior, I slithered my way towards the secret entrance to my bedroom. It was covered by a large cabinet that forced me down on my hands and knees to clamber through before I was back in the familiarity of my elegant, cream and gold bedroom. Whipping off the witch’s cloak, I quickly shoved it into the box at the back of my wardrobe. I dived into the grand bed, throwing the silk sheets over my white nightdress with golden embroidery.

I could hear the commotion inching closer through the palace towards my room. Suddenly, the door opened wide and the two palace guards, who had been outside my door, stepped inside with their heads bent low to ensure they did not disrespect their strict orders to never look upon me without permission. My father, and Alpha of Heroux pack, stormed in with concern and anger, tightening his strong features. I sat up in my bed, feigning my own shock at his intrusion. The alarms were still echoing through the glass windows of my circular room that overlooked the realm.

“Father?”

“Another attack. Closer this time. The Southern village of Trianstal. Did you not see it coming?” he growled at me in an accusing tone, marching towards the oval windows of my room and running his hand through his long black hair.

I gulped down my guilt. I had not seen it coming. Why? Because I had been in the tavern when I should have been sleeping. No one knew, except a few, that I had an unnerving connection to the Shadows of the Cursed. I could sense their presence and, often, I would envision their attacks through dreams. Hence, why it was demanded that I sleep for a few hours during the day and be in bed by the time the sun sets at night. I was our only weapon in knowing their next moves. Normally, it was still not enough to save the majority, but at least we were able to send a warning as quickly as possible to the wolves who were about to be targeted.

“No, father. I’m sorry,” I muttered, pulling the covers off me and approaching his side to gaze out at the landscape of our realm. My room was the highest in the palace, sitting proudly at the top of the tallest tower with a view as far as the eye could see. And in wolf terms, that was pretty far. Over the rolling green hills, passed the shifting points of tree tops, but before the ragged mountains, fire burned brightly. A stunning orange and red glow raged up from the village of Trianstal. An icy shiver ran down my back. It was too late. More innocent lives lost to the fate of The Cursed, making them grow stronger and us grow weaker.

“Anyone lucky to survive will be at our gates in no time at all. I will send in the maidens to get you ready,” he turned to glance down at me as I blinked up at him with understanding. He lifted his muscular hand to stroke my cheek with his knuckles. “Don’t burden yourself, Aurelia. You do all that you can.”

I nodded once and bowed my head in respect as he stomped out of the room with authoritative strides. We both knew that was a lie. I could do more. But he would never allow it. I was too precious to join the warriors on the battlefield. Or so he says.

Once the maidens had painted my skin with shimmering gold, placed a gold-wired mask over my head and draped smooth gold fabrics over my body, I was escorted down to the entrance of the palace. Every member of the pack, no matter their rank or importance, would bend their knee or bow their heads to me as I passed. It was meant to be a sign of respect, but it only magnified my loneliness. I wished and longed for someone, anyone, to dare to look me in the eye. To acknowledge I was a person with feelings and emotions just like them. To them, I was a divine creature. A gift from the gods themselves. Someone to be worshipped, adored and loved from afar.

When I was born, I was an unexplainable miracle. I entered the world with golden hair as bright as the sun, matching eyes that shimmered and glowed, unlike my father's dark features. My skin could change from the smoothness of milky radiance to the brightness of forged bronze. The day of my birth caused the pack to thrive. New species of plants bloomed, attracting more wildlife and nature to our lands. With it, came prosperity. Wealth. Riches. My parents gave me the name Aurelia, meaning golden. After my mother’s death, it wasn’t long before my unusual and unique powers surfaced, but my wolf never appeared. Rumours started that I was a witch. But my gifts could not be explained as witchcraft. That was when my father took me to see the Great Seer and the white witch, Kamari, who cut my hand to find my blood was molten gold. A sign of the gods. From that day on, I was known only as The Golden Goddess.

The enormous, glass palace doors opened as I inhaled a deep breath, preparing myself to do what I always had to in these dark times. Choose between life and death. The chaos that met me had my gold eyes widening. Many men and women were being dragged towards the marble steps by our warriors, their bodies mangled and coated in blood. Some had severe burns or limbs missing. Children were being carried in warriors' arms, crying and screaming in pain and fear. I dived forward to stand between my father and his Beta, Kiaus, as their own eyes scoured the scene with horror.

“You know what you must do, Aurelia. Only those who are not infected can be saved,” my father whispered under his breath and I fought back the tears in my eyes. I had to be strong in the face of death. I did not deserve to crumble, when so many were suffering. I stepped forwards, gliding over to the first seriously injured man who was being held up by two warriors, his bloody arms draped over their shoulders. His eyes met mine but quickly darted away when he realised who I was.

“Goddess,” he gritted through his evident pain. “I accept my fate.”

I raised my hand to his forehead and entered his being. His soul was still pure. I exhaled in relief and nodded my head to the guards, indicating that he was cleared to be treated as they dragged him away. I moved onto the next, a woman who was barely conscious on the floor. Her eyes rolled into her head as I scanned her injuries, a large gash across her chest. Once again, I placed my hand on her forehead and closed my eyes. Black venom rushed from her soul to mine. A shrill, tortured scream pounded inside my skull as I fell back away from her, panting heavily. I shook my head slowly, causing the guards to lift her body and take her in the opposite direction towards the chambers. Forcing myself to continue, every damned soul ate away at my consciousness as I submitted them to their ill-fate. When I came to the children, I could no longer hold back the silent tears that trickled down my cheeks. For some there was still hope. But for many…

I watched as they carried the last young boy towards the chambers to kill him, his body already trembling with the poison of The Cursed. Kiaus stepped forward, his arm subtly brushing against my golden, shimmering fabric that adorned my body in a small attempt to provide me with some comfort.

“It never gets easier,” he breathed, “but it is the kindest thing to do.”

“Knowing I have sentenced them to death does not feel kind,” I replied, folding my arms around my body protectively.

“Death is fairer than what will happen to them if we allow it,” our Beta explained and I knew he was right, no matter how hard it was to hear. “Do not feel guilty, Goddess. What you did for them was kind.”

As the door to the underground chambers opened to let the guards through, the screams and barbaric growls of wolves transitioning into slaved beasts of darkness ringed in my ears and I squeezed my eyes shut. I don’t know if I am kind. In fact, I don’t know if I am many of the things they say about me. I don’t believe I know myself at all. It was easier to listen to what they said than it was to acknowledge the truth. That I did not know who I was supposed to be. Or what I was supposed to do. All I knew was that I wasn’t enough to save them. There was only one who could. And his name was Lorcan Romano Black.