Warrior Luna and Her Dispell Poems

Confession II

For a moment, Bella froze, her entire body locking up as the weight of Asher's confession settled over her like a storm cloud. Her heart pounded so fiercely that she could almost hear it in her ears, each beat threatening to break free from her chest. Even her wolf, Banja, stirred within her, suddenly more alert, more interested. Did she hear him correctly?

“What did you say?” Bella asked in a small, almost trembling voice, barely able to get the words out. She looked at Asher, her eyes wide and searching, trying to make sense of what was happening. She had always been able to read him, but this, this was something entirely new.

Asher met her gaze, and the intensity in his eyes made her feel exposed, like he could see straight through her, into her very soul. For a brief second, she felt intimidated by the raw emotion radiating from him, but his next words shook her to her core.

"I said that I care about you, Bells," he repeated softly but firmly, stepping closer to her. "That I have feelings for you. I’ve had them for such a long time."

Bella’s breath hitched, her chest tightening as she tried to process what he was saying. Asher had feelings for her? The boy she had grown up with, her best friend, was standing in front of her, pouring out his heart. Her mind was spinning, trying to catch up with the reality of the situation.

“Why... why are you telling me this?” she asked, her voice trembling slightly as she tried to hold herself together. “Why now? Why today?”

Asher let out a frustrated sigh, running his hands through his dark hair as if searching for the right words. He looked at her with a mixture of desperation and vulnerability that she had never seen from him before.

"Because I can’t hold it in anymore, Bella," he said, his voice rough with emotion. "I wanted to wait until I turned 18, to be sure, to see if we’re fated mates. I didn’t want to hurt you, didn’t want to make things complicated if we found out we weren’t. That’s why I kept my distance."

Bella stood there, still as stone, her mind racing to process everything he was saying. A flood of emotions hit her, leaving her rooted in place, trying to stay calm while her heart was in turmoil.

Asher continued, stepping even closer to her. "But I can’t do it anymore, Bells. You’re affecting me in ways I can’t explain, and it’s getting harder every day to be around you without... losing control."

Bella’s heart skipped a beat at his words, her pulse racing even faster. His voice was raw, strained, like he was fighting against something deep inside him. She could feel the tension in the air, the weight of unspoken emotions hanging between them.

“I feel like my control is slipping,” he confessed, his voice dropping lower, almost a whisper now. "And today, it was worse than ever. I couldn’t get myself together, couldn’t think straight. And Diana... she was just there, and I kissed her, thinking it would snap me out of it. I thought it would help me get back on track. And then, you saw us."

Bella’s heart felt like it was breaking all over again as his words sank in. He kissed Diana—to control himself? The ache in her chest grew stronger, and for a moment, she didn’t know whether to be hurt, angry, or confused. Her emotions swirled in a chaotic mess, her mind struggling to make sense of everything.

“Why... why would you think that kissing her would help?” she asked, her voice barely above a whisper, her throat tight. She didn’t understand. None of it made sense. If he had feelings for her, why kiss Diana?

Asher clenched his fists, frustration evident in his tense posture. "I know it sounds insane," he said, his eyes filled with guilt. "But in that moment, I was out of control, Bella. I thought if I kissed someone I wasn’t attracted to, it would repulse me, and I’d snap out of it. And it worked, but not in the way I thought. It was a mistake. A huge mistake."

Bella felt her world tilt slightly, the weight of his confession sinking in. It didn’t make sense to her, how someone could be so overwhelmed by their emotions that they’d act so irrationally. She wanted to be angry at him, wanted to lash out and scream, but all she felt was a deep, aching sadness. Asher had kissed Diana, yes, but he had done it because of her. Because he couldn’t control how he felt around her.

Her heart thudded painfully in her chest as she searched his face, trying to figure out what to say, how to feel. She could see how much this confession was costing him, how much it had been eating him up inside. And despite the hurt, despite everything, there was a small part of her that wanted to forgive him. That I wanted to understand.

But the pain was still there, raw and fresh.

"Asher..." she began, her voice thick with emotion. "You have no idea how much this hurts. Seeing you with Diana, how am I supposed to just... get over that?"

Asher stepped forward, his eyes pleading with her. "I know, Bella. I know I messed up. But I need you to understand, I never wanted to hurt you. I’ve cared about you for so long, and I was just... scared. Scared that if I told you, things would change. That I’d lose you."

Tears welled up in Bella’s eyes, her heart torn between the pain of what she had seen and the longing she felt in his words. She had loved him, in her own way, for so long too. But this…this was more than she ever expected, more than she had ever thought possible. Her wolf stirred inside her again, sensing the turmoil in her heart, whining softly in confusion.

"What do you want me to say?" Bella whispered, her voice cracking as she fought back tears. "That everything’s okay? That it doesn’t hurt?"

Asher shook his head, his voice thick with emotion. "No. I didn’t expect that. I just... I just wanted you to know the truth. I couldn’t keep lying to myself or to you anymore."

Bella wiped her eyes quickly, taking a shaky breath as she tried to steady herself. Everything felt too overwhelming, too intense. She didn’t know how to respond, didn’t know how to fix the mess of emotions swirling inside her.

She sat down on the blanket they kept in the cave, her mind spinning with a thousand thoughts. Her heart was heavy with emotion, and she needed a moment to process everything. Asher, sensing her need for space, sat down beside her without a word, leaving a small distance between them. The silence stretched out between them, thick and heavy, broken only by the soft sounds of the forest outside.

After what felt like an eternity, Asher broke the silence, his voice low and raw with emotion. “Talk to me, Bells, please...” He paused, running his hand through his hair in frustration. “Don’t shut me down. I’m not trying to pressure you with my confession. I just... I needed you to know how I feel, to clear the air between us. I’ve never hidden anything from you... except this.”

Bella’s emotions were a whirlwind inside her. Her wolf, Banja, was pacing restlessly in her mind, her presence adding to the storm brewing inside. “Asher cares about us... He has feelings for us,” Banja whispered excitedly, her voice filled with hope.

Bella bit her lip, trying to steady her racing thoughts and the turmoil in her heart. “What should we do?” she asked her wolf, desperate for clarity. “Despite being upset, I can’t stay mad at him...” Bella’s mind raced, the memory of seeing him kiss Diana still fresh in her mind, but it was hard to hold onto her anger when he was sitting right there, so vulnerable and honest.

Banja paused in her pacing, considering Bella’s question carefully before replying in a soft but firm voice. “Let’s tell him how we feel. He’s opened up to us... We should do the same.”

Bella’s breath caught in her throat. “Tell him? Are you mad?” she thought in disbelief. “What if we’re not fated mates in the end? What if we get hurt?”

Banja stopped, turning to face Bella in her mind. “And what if we are fated?” her wolf replied, a playful but wise tone in her voice. “You’re already hurting. Why hide anymore?”

Bella’s heart skipped a beat. Banja’s words struck deep, stirring something inside her that she had been trying to bury for so long. Maybe Banja was right... Maybe it was time to be honest with herself, and with Asher.

Gathering all the courage she could muster, Bella took a deep breath, her hands trembling slightly. She could feel Asher’s eyes on her, waiting, hoping for something, anything, from her. Her next words came out in a quiet, almost shaky voice, but the weight of them was enough to shake Asher to his core.

“You’re not the only one with feelings, Ash.” Bella’s voice was barely above a whisper, but in the stillness of the cave, it was as if she had shouted the words. “That’s why... that’s why it hurt so much when I saw you with Diana. I’ve had feelings for you for so long.”

Asher froze, his breath catching in his throat. He turned to look at her, his eyes wide in disbelief. For a moment, he seemed utterly shocked, like her words had hit him like a bolt of lightning. He blinked, as if trying to make sure he had heard her right. “What... what did you say?” he asked, his voice hoarse with emotion.

Bella swallowed hard, her heart racing as she met his gaze. There was no turning back now. “I care about you too, Asher,” she said, her voice stronger this time. “I’ve had feelings for you for so long... I just never thought you felt the same. And then, today, seeing you with her...” She trailed off, unable to finish the sentence, the memory still too fresh, too painful.

Asher’s eyes softened, his expression shifting from shock to something else—something deep and vulnerable. He reached out, gently taking her hand in his, his touch warm and steady. “Bella... I never wanted to hurt you. I swear that kiss with Diana... it was a mistake. I thought it would help me get my head straight, but it was stupid. You’re the one I care about. You’re the one who’s always been there in my heart.”

Bella’s heart thudded in her chest, her emotions a confusing mix of relief, fear, and hope. She couldn’t believe this was happening, that after all these years of hiding her feelings, Asher felt the same way. But the fear was still there, gnawing at the edges of her heart. “But what if we’re not fated mates, Ash?” she asked, her voice trembling. “What if we’re not meant to be?”

Asher squeezed her hand gently, his gaze steady and unwavering. “I don’t know what the future holds,” he admitted. “But what I do know is that I don’t want to lose you. Fated mates or not, I care about you. And I want to be with you... if you have me.”